Good luck with this tough decision. I appreciate the issues you are feeling. People who have lovely natural curls think that everyone should love their natural hair but that is not the case. Some people do prefer their hair styled differently than how it grows off their head and that should be fine too! It is about what makes YOU happy right???
Consider a Brazilian Keratin Treatment and then using moisturizing leave ins for a semi natural effect. That may give you an enhanced version of your natural hair which might be a bit more pleasing to you short of going completely straight. Another option would be some sort of a smoothing curl like a Wave Nouveau.There are many options along the spectrum of hair care techniques between kinky on one end and totally relaxed on the other end. Consider the entire spectrum of options available to someone with natural hair to find the formula that might work just right for YOU!