Stop! This is exactly how I feel! The frustration and self consciousness is so real! Everything you said applies to me. What I do is twist my hair (when my hair is dry) leave it in for 1-2 days and then pull it out, its a beautiful style I love to do and my curls are always defined! You can do this on wet or dry hair. This style is what helped me when I first started, because it was so easy to do and I could wear it in so many ways! Up or down and people loved it and always complimented me! I hope this helps you. If you need any more tips or details I'm always here

stay bliss.