aww, im sorry its making you feel this badly. i think buns are more professional looking than ponytails (even tho i wear them at work alot). what you could try tho is go to h & m or some other store and get some of those hair bands or clips with silk flowers attached to them and wear those over your bun or ponytail. it dresses things up a bit and is an option for something different. big earrings and makeup have also helped exponentially! you will get through it. one thing that helped me was finding photos of girls with natural hair in the same type (or close) as me, then printing and taping these up in a place where i will see them alot. it was good for inspiration in the early months.