Welcome! It's great to hear from a curly coming out of the closet!
First of all, I would ditch the frizz serum. Is it John Frieda? Serums may be tempting to curlies, but really, they weigh down the curls and coat them with a whole bunch of bad ingredients. Gels and creams are much better options. If you can learn to use a gel right (I didn't know how to for a lonnggg time, boy was I missing out!) and get a good
gel, you can achieve some fabulous curls!
When looking for products, start looking at the ingredients. Avoid alcohols as they can dry your hair out. Silicones (anything ending with "cone" or "xane") are another red flag. Some get good results with cones, but in the long run they seem to build up and weigh down curls. They're supposed to lessen frizz, but after a while they make frizz worse. Silicones can be used in moderation, but too much is a bad hair day waiting to happen.
Sulfates can be bad for hair also. These are the detergents in shampoo. The only semi-gentle sulfate is Sodium Laureth Sulfate, not to be confused with Sodium Laurel
Sulfate, which is the worst of the sulfates. If you start to read the ingredients on shampoos, almost every single shampoo has em. I like Creme of Nature shampoo, which is sulfate-free, gentle, detangling, and moustruizing. It can be found in most drugstores and Walmart in the ethnic section.
About shampooing, I don't shampoo every day. I will maybe 2-4 times a week, but no more. Your hair most likely doesn't need it every day! My hair doesn't look dirty or anything when I don't shampoo, and no one would ever know unless I told them. It takes longer for the natural oils to get to the ends of your curls, and when you shampoo, it strips the curls of those oils that it needs(especially if there's sulfate in the shampoo).
When looking for a conditioner, suprisingly enough, some of the best are the cheapest! I love love love Suave (Milk & Honey, Coconut, Aloe Vera) and VO5 (Oasis line) condishes. Also, check out the conditioners here at CurlMart. All are curly tested and approved.
One great tip I've learned from this site is to use honey. Yep... it's fantastic! I just add a little to my conditioner, and it gives me great curls. Honey can also be added to your styling products, like gel or leave-in. Honey is versatile and can be used in many ways!
About the bun, do you mean loose curls hanging completely out of the bun like tendrils, or hair in
the bun that hangs out?
Well, I think I've talked way too much, but I hoped you've learned a little! There's SO much to learn here, it's hard to get it all down in one post. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask away! Good luck!