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Old 03-19-2010, 09:59 AM   #1
 
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Unhappy I'm in a wedding and I need some help

Hey everyone! I want to start and say that I'm so glad I found this website. I have found so much support and information here.

So, I need some help. I'm a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. Of course, she has straight hair. I knew I would have to buy my dress, shoes, and everything that goes with my outfit, but now she's talking about make up and.....even scarier.....hair!

I've stopped all shampoo from my hair, I've been using Curl Junkie for about a week, but I've been a modified CG for a little over 2 months now. I haven't used any heat on my hair since going CG and I think my hair has improved dramatically.

My problem is how do I tell my friend. How do I get her to understand that the shampoo the hair dresser may use, or the curling iron that any heat he use may really damage my hair and I'll have to start all over again. She's getting married in October, so I've got some time. What would you do?
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Old 03-19-2010, 11:21 AM   #2
 
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Just one time (with both heat styling and shampooing) isn't going to set your hair back to what it used to be. In all honesty, you probably won't see hardly any change afterwards.

I think your best bet would be to go with the flow and not bring it up to your friend (she's probably got enough stress going on at the moment!) and just do a good DT after the wedding. Your curls are more resilient than you think, this one day won't damage them forever.
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Old 03-19-2010, 11:22 AM   #3
 
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Before you agree to the salon shampoo and curling irons why don't you talk to her about it and see what she says. If you must go to the salon, bring your own co-wash and conditioner. You could actually just do like a curly updo with your natural curls. Or even a half updo like in my avatar picture. I'm sure if you show her some pics of curly 'formal' styles she may like it.
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Old 03-19-2010, 12:09 PM   #4
 
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Did she tell you she wants you to wear your hair a specific way? I agree with ivy, show her some pictures of nice formal curly styles.

The two times I had my hair styled, they didn't shampoo me- they told me to come in with dry hair. They used a curling iron for my own wedding, but I would have done it differently if I'd been on this board before then! When I had it done for my friend's wedding, she just used some pomade and hairspray and put it in a loose bun. The products were probably not CG, but shampooing them out one time didn't wreck my hair or anything.
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Old 03-19-2010, 12:38 PM   #5
 
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My own opinion: this is a non-issue. You can't compare one day of undesirable hair treatment and styling to the wedding of your best friend. This is her day, not your hair's.

My suggestion: do what she wants. Even if what she wants is poker straight emo hair held in place with pure silicone. If what she wants is something more general -- say "an up-do", or whatever -- then discuss your concerns with the stylist and let him/her work it out with your hair. If they have questions, either you or the stylist can sort of off-the-cuff, very informally and "this is a non-issue"-ly, bring it up with the bride while you're in the salon. And then do what she wants.
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Old 03-20-2010, 10:02 PM   #6
 
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Thanks Mims. I think I will just go with the flow. I mean I'm just a bridesmaid and I'm pretty sure no one's going to be paying any attention to me anyway.

No, Gemini she didn't say anything specific, but I'm almost positive it's going to be curly. She's going for a sort of whimsical/flowly type of atmosphere. She's getting married outside next to a lake. Although I think what I'm most worried about is cost. I don't want to spend a LOT of money on a hair style that my hair does naturally, you know? But that's neither here nor there.

As long as it's not too expensive, I think I'll just go with the flow like Mims suggests. I was worried that shampoo with all the detergents was going to "undo" all the hard work I've done so far and will do once the wedding gets here. It's good to know that I don't have to worry about that anymore.

Thanks for the replies! I greatly appreciate them!
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Old 05-13-2010, 09:30 AM   #7
 
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Default This just happened to me

I was just in my friends wedding. I thought this is her day let her do whatever, one day wont hurt my hair. They straightened it with a VERY hot iron and burnt my hair. I almost had to cut it all off (My hair is very long) It took over a month of deep treatments to get it back to a normailsh texture. I wouldn't be afraid of the styling products but stay away from straightening ahhh!
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Old 05-15-2010, 07:00 AM   #8
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweet pea View Post
Hey everyone! I want to start and say that I'm so glad I found this website. I have found so much support and information here.

So, I need some help. I'm a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. Of course, she has straight hair. I knew I would have to buy my dress, shoes, and everything that goes with my outfit, but now she's talking about make up and.....even scarier.....hair!

I've stopped all shampoo from my hair, I've been using Curl Junkie for about a week, but I've been a modified CG for a little over 2 months now. I haven't used any heat on my hair since going CG and I think my hair has improved dramatically.

My problem is how do I tell my friend. How do I get her to understand that the shampoo the hair dresser may use, or the curling iron that any heat he use may really damage my hair and I'll have to start all over again. She's getting married in October, so I've got some time. What would you do?



As the bride is your best friend, she already knows you're doing the natural curls route, right? If not, this is a great time to discuss that and be honest and say, "I use a special regimen to tend to my curls. I'd prefer to keep my hair curly for the wedding and use my special products. I will need to give the stylist some direction in how to properly tend to my curls. Hope you understand."

If she wants something like "Everyone's hair up with X hairpiece" or "Everyone's hair down with a wreath"...all that allows for curls. Straight hair isn't necessary for anything.

If she insists on non-natural curls--though only some bridezilla would--there are safer ways than flatironing or hot-blow-drying to get a less curled style--if that's essential. Like big roller sets (which if done early enough, can air dry or can be dried under a bonnet dryer that's not set to maximum heat). And flatironing once is not gonna end the world, though I think it's rude to ask that of a bridal party, frankly. It's like saying, "Everyone needs to use X color foundation so we all have the same tone of skin for the pictures." How would that go over?

Just be honest, polite, and firm. Unless she's a bridezilla, there should be no problem. Curls can be up, half-up, side backs, or loose and be made to look good with accessories as needed for a formal event. After all, history has evidenced many, many beautiful curly bride hairdos/updos. If the bride wants curly, that's easy to get naturally for curly girls and controlled curls are possible without irons. For decades, they did it with rollers.

I dont' think asking for specific shampoos and conditioners is an issue--or should not be. Only a stylist with a major stick up their hineys would get bent if a client said they needed a specific regimen.

When all else fails, pull out the allergy card: "Oh, I brought my own poo and condish, cause I'm so sensitive and can't risk a rash for the wedding. "

I'm anti-tyrant. , be they stylist or bride.

But as this is your best friend, it will be fine. Just work your curls into her vision.
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Last edited by MirCurls; 05-15-2010 at 07:07 AM.
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