Demoted

I went to an interview with my hair slicked back into a bun and I guess it made it look like my hair was straight. I got the job to come in as an assistant for one week and then I was supposed to be the doctor the following week. So this week was my week to be the assistant and I had my hair in a french twist Monday, and bun Wednesday. Yesterday I wore my hair half up and half down. The manager said oh your hair is down today! Then she said I bet it's really long when it is wet! That made me feel like crap, like what's wrong with it now. Then at the end of my shift the other doctor who is also the boss told me that he wants to keep me as an assistant and that he's hiring someone else!! All day he had been looking at my hair too. I feel like I have been demoted because of my hair now! I was waiting to hear back from this website for a good stylist and colorist in MA and haven't heard any feedback yet so I was just putting my hair back in the meantime. My mother always taught me to relax and straighten my hair and right now I'm starting to feel like she was right!! Really feeling awful now!
That sucks. You are not your hair and it sucks to be felt like your judged for it, I know. The one thing I have learned from all the curly girls here is that every curl is unique and beautiful just like every curly girl. Maybe you should ask if them what led them to that decision as you are trying to succeed at your profession and if there is anything about your performance that made them believe you were not capable of the job you were originally hired for. But a bit more professionally than I put it. Don't be discouraged or feel bad about yourself or your hair. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Don't let narrow minded people dictate how you feel about yourself. Hold your head high and be proud because you and your hair are a masterpiece.
That sucks. You are not your hair and it sucks to be felt like your judged for it, I know. The one thing I have learned from all the curly girls here is that every curl is unique and beautiful just like every curly girl. Maybe you should ask if them what led them to that decision as you are trying to succeed at your profession and if there is anything about your performance that made them believe you were not capable of the job you were originally hired for. But a bit more professionally than I put it. Don't be discouraged or feel bad about yourself or your hair. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Don't let narrow minded people dictate how you feel about yourself. Hold your head high and be proud because you and your hair are a masterpiece.
Originally Posted by curlangel0690
I think this is great advice!

Also, I wouldn't jump to conclusions here. Maybe because you felt self-conscious about your hair, that read off as something else? Perhaps they found someone more qualified for the job? Who knows - they may have hired you, and then someone who knows someone who knows someone got them the job instead - I have seen that happen before. I'm just saying, don't assume it was your hair.

It sounds like you have not yet embraced you curly hair. I for one used to hate mine as well, but I learned to embrace it and love it and it is now such a huge part of who I am. It is a big part of my identity, and I can't imagine being without it.

I have to agree with Curlangel - I think the best thing to do is to ask your boss to meet with them, and ask why there was a change, and see if there is something that you need to work on. It can only help. If there was something else going on, like a performance issue, your genuine care about wanting to do well will win you some brownie points and may help you down the line. If, in the end, you hunch was right, then I think it best to start looking for somewhere else to work. Who wants to work in an environment that judges you biased on something like your hair - it's right up there with being sexist or racist. You don't need that.

Curly hair is a challenge, no doubt, but it's who we are and you shouldn't have to hide it.

Please don't go back to relaxing! Just let your curls be who they really are
Definitely ask why, it could have been for a lot of reasons that aren't your hair.

I wouldn't be surprised if it was because of your hair though, some people really hate curls. I wear my hair down and curly to job interviews so they know what they're getting in advance.

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