UGH! One of those days! (Rant) I need a hug, y'all...

So I've been neglecting my hair a lot lately. Not because I don't have time or because I'm lazy, but because I'm just SICK of my hair. I'm sick of having to detangle it, moisturize it, twist it into buns, braid outs, twist outs, getting oil on my clothes and pillow, smelling like oil, getting arm cramps, etc. etc.

Just... AAHHHH! It's just so unfair. I look at everyone around me with wavy or straight hair and I just envy them so much. I don't care about looking good or unique anymore, I just want to be able to wake up in the morning and not look like a hot mess! I want to take a shower and let it dry on its own and not worry about frizz, drying, etc. I wish I could extract all the curly DNA from my body and replace it with straight hair DNA, lol!

I'm sitting here with four coconut oil-soaked buns on my head, close to tears over this! I'm really tired of it. I could use a hug or words of wisdom or anything to keep me from shaving my head or worse - relaxing it or something.


Last edited by QueenOfFrizz; 03-02-2012 at 10:23 PM.
Aw hun, I feel your pain! sending you a huge hug!!
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I also feel your pain! Thick curly hair (as mine is) is hard work. I leave my house at 7am with a 5 year old and don't get home til 6pm. Then after cooking and doing all the mummy things, I have more work to do. So my hair just cannot be curly all the time.
Like you, it is just too time consuming and doesn't fit in with life! So I blow dry and flat iron when I'm going to work. I only do it every two weeks ( on wash day) . I hate the way it looks, but it makes me happier as I don't cry tears of frustration every morning.
If you don't like to use heat, maybe try stretching / banding your hair. That way it's easier to work with?
Relaxing is so permanent you may regret it and then it's such a long process to get your curls back. x
Thanks for the support, guys! <3

Unfortunately, heat styling is out of the question because my hair is EXTREMELY sensitive to heat. I only straighten it once a YEAR (sometimes once in two years) and it fries the life out of it. So that's not really an option. And as for relaxing or chemically treating it in any way, that's another no. Mainly because I know it'll only make my hair worse (and I've never relaxed it in my entire life, yay me!) but also because my mom would probably beat my ass if I ever did LOL!

I guess I have no choice but to live with it. It's so unfair though. I get so irritated when I hear straight haired girls say things like, "My hair is such a mess, I almost didn't leave the house today." Bish, PLEASE! LOL
I'm really sorry for you QueenOfFrizz, but I think most curlies go through this at least I do. I've only been here for a short time but had curly hair my entire life! I've tryed it all and even though natural is time consuming in the long run its healthier for your hair. I have cried too and feel even depressed about what to do with this mess at times but the compliments and good hair days do help. So you're not alone girl.

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I'm really sorry for you QueenOfFrizz, but I think most curlies go through this at least I do. I've only been here for a short time but had curly hair my entire life! I've tryed it all and even though natural is time consuming in the long run its healthier for your hair. I have cried too and feel even depressed about what to do with this mess at times but the compliments and good hair days do help. So you're not alone girl.

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Originally Posted by valcave
Thank you for your kind words! It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this desperate at times (I feel selfish for saying that though LOL!).

THe temptation to grab my scissors and cut off my messy braids is slowly fading away...for now. I'm going to try to get back on my routine and hopefully my hair will work WITH me instead of against me this time.
it does suck somtimes doesnt it? sending you a hug through the computer! ive gotten a really good routine down twice and now due to another dramatic climate change im having to redo EVERYTHING that i had done :/ my hair was looking soooo nice, but in a span of 24 hours going from gawjuss high humidity summer its dry cold winter. i feel your pain as well

my hair: 3c, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
my hair loves conditioner only styling!
my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.

I also blog about my hair journey, please feel free to read and comment/ask questions http://www.naturallycurly.com/blogs/...air-blogs/2494
*hugs back* Thank you! And oh my God, yes! The climate change... I have to travel frequently between two cities, and guess what... One is extremely dry and the other is extremely humid! Lol the comedy just writes itself doesn't it? That's partly why I pretty much gave up on my hair in the past year or so. I was sick of trying to find a routine that works in both climates. It became so much easier to just shampoo and condition and tie it up in a bun or hide under a hat lol.
What about roller setting? You can sit under a hair dryer or just let it air dry. You could also do Bantu knots. Those styles should give your hair more predictability and last at least a week.
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
*hugs back* Thank you! And oh my God, yes! The climate change... I have to travel frequently between two cities, and guess what... One is extremely dry and the other is extremely humid! Lol the comedy just writes itself doesn't it? That's partly why I pretty much gave up on my hair in the past year or so. I was sick of trying to find a routine that works in both climates. It became so much easier to just shampoo and condition and tie it up in a bun or hide under a hat lol.
Originally Posted by QueenOfFrizz
i know exactly how you feel!!! i had finally found good stuff in germany, then i left for australia, n took me a lil while to get the routine back, had beautiful hair, now back in germany, (winter, from summer!) and its just.... bla!!! going to do a oil treatment tonight pamper myself a bit, so hoping be better tomorrow

my hair: 3c, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
my hair loves conditioner only styling!
my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.

I also blog about my hair journey, please feel free to read and comment/ask questions http://www.naturallycurly.com/blogs/...air-blogs/2494
What about roller setting? You can sit under a hair dryer or just let it air dry. You could also do Bantu knots. Those styles should give your hair more predictability and last at least a week.
Originally Posted by multicultcurly
I tried roller setting but I just can't do it! I can never get the back parts right... I need someone to do it for me and unfortunately there isn't anyone around at the moment.
Bantu knots I can do, though.. I'll try that after my next wash. I did a braid out today and it looks a lot better than it did a few days ago (frizz-wise) so I"m hopeful again.
Thanks boo!
*hugs back* Thank you! And oh my God, yes! The climate change... I have to travel frequently between two cities, and guess what... One is extremely dry and the other is extremely humid! Lol the comedy just writes itself doesn't it? That's partly why I pretty much gave up on my hair in the past year or so. I was sick of trying to find a routine that works in both climates. It became so much easier to just shampoo and condition and tie it up in a bun or hide under a hat lol.
Originally Posted by QueenOfFrizz
i know exactly how you feel!!! i had finally found good stuff in germany, then i left for australia, n took me a lil while to get the routine back, had beautiful hair, now back in germany, (winter, from summer!) and its just.... bla!!! going to do a oil treatment tonight pamper myself a bit, so hoping be better tomorrow
Originally Posted by Fmasuhr
Let me know how that goes! I'm not a huge fan of oils (can't stand the smells and the greasiness), but they seem to be the only things that help my hair. Coconut, almond and castor oil are the best for my hair. What are you using tonight?
Have you considered cutting your hair short? If you don't wanna deal with it, get rid of it. You won't have to have much of a hair routine if you don't have much hair to begin with.

I am trying to grow long, so I wish I had your frustrations.
"The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else."
"...rationality is not necessary to sell things.."
My staples: Mane n Tail (cowash), Garnier Fructis Sleek n Shine (leave in condish), Grapeseed oil or shea butter (sealing), Organic Root Stimulator Elasticitea (leave-in condish & light hold)
I actually almost did that a few months ago! But I talked myself out of it.. I could never forgive myself if I did it. My hair is somewhere between waist and hip length (in dire need of a haircut because of split ends though) and I'd be devastated if I ever cut it all off. I waited too damn long lol! I guess I have no choice but to suck it up and work with what God gave me.
im hoping the oils i was using before will still work, tonight im using rosemary, mac nut oil and apricot oil im mixing it with kaolin clay and a bit of aloe vera leaving it in for a bit n seeing how it goes. i use really light oils so it should be ok

my hair: 3c, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
my hair loves conditioner only styling!
my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.

I also blog about my hair journey, please feel free to read and comment/ask questions http://www.naturallycurly.com/blogs/...air-blogs/2494
im hoping the oils i was using before will still work, tonight im using rosemary, mac nut oil and apricot oil im mixing it with kaolin clay and a bit of aloe vera leaving it in for a bit n seeing how it goes. i use really light oils so it should be ok
Originally Posted by Fmasuhr
Wow, I have a lot more learning to do.. I didn't even know you could use these oils in your hair! HOpe it turns out great!
just an update, i did it last night, it worked bettera on my face then my hair, took me ages to wash it out, i dont even think i got it all will have to low poo again tonight to see what its like tomorrow. i dont think ill do it again though wasnt bad as such just didnt really woow me.

my hair: 3c, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
my hair loves conditioner only styling!
my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.

I also blog about my hair journey, please feel free to read and comment/ask questions http://www.naturallycurly.com/blogs/...air-blogs/2494
Aww sorry about that hun. =) At least you're experimenting. Some of us (ahem, ME) just sit back and expect miracles. You've inspired me to try more oils and products.
Wow your hair is uber long would you mind posting a pic? I just went on a spree cutting all the hairs that looked too straight and i ended up cutting a short halo around my entire edges lol. It's still got length in the middle but I have to maneuver things for it to not be noticeable. I'm wearing braid extensions right now just don't wanna think about it.
TYPE: 3C
Current State: Growing out keratin treatment.
High Density, Medium Porosity
Length: MBL stretched
Doing what I want when I want! Getting tempted to bkt the nape save me lol
Aww sorry about that hun. =) At least you're experimenting. Some of us (ahem, ME) just sit back and expect miracles. You've inspired me to try more oils and products.
Originally Posted by QueenOfFrizz
haha thanx i love doing new things with my hair! n when it works really well, itll give ya an amazing hair happy high lol always feels good doing somthing new and seeing results

my hair: 3c, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
my hair loves conditioner only styling!
my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.

I also blog about my hair journey, please feel free to read and comment/ask questions http://www.naturallycurly.com/blogs/...air-blogs/2494

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