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Old 08-12-2005, 09:21 AM   #1
 
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Default Why can't my curls be natural???

Has anyone else been dismissed as a natural because they have natually curly hair?

When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it". Now that I'm natural all I hear is " Did you jheri curl your hair?" When I polity tell them I just cut the relaxer out of it, they look at me like I have two heads and then reply "And your hair does that naturally?" the smiley indicates the look that goes with their question/ comment as if to say 'yeah right'. WTF???

Just because my hair is curly doesn't mean I have to alter it with a chemical. Why do I have to face teeth sucking and rolling eyes because God made me this way. It just doesn't make sense how critical and judgemental people can sometimes be. SOrry but I had to get this off of my chest this morning :x
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Old 08-12-2005, 09:30 AM   #2
 
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Default Re: Why can't my curls be natural???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Curlilocs

When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it".
I heard this a lot, too. Funny thing is, one of the reasons I relaxed was that when I was natural, people said "Why don't you relax your hair?" People are ridiculous sometimes.
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Old 08-12-2005, 09:34 AM   #3
 
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Default Re: Why can't my curls be natural???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amneris
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curlilocs

When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it".
I heard this a lot, too. Funny thing is, one of the reasons I relaxed was that when I was natural, people said "Why don't you relax your hair?" People are ridiculous sometimes.
Okay??
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Old 08-12-2005, 09:56 AM   #4
 
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That sounds like ignorance or jealousy or both.. I just checked out your album and your hair is growing out great and your curls are just lovely! Just ignore anyone who can't appreciate the natural beauty of your hair as-is. They are not worth the time.
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Old 08-12-2005, 10:01 AM   #5
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curltopia
That sounds like ignorance or jealousy or both.. I just checked out your album and your hair is growing out great and your curls are just lovely! Just ignore anyone who can't appreciate the natural beauty of your hair as-is. They are not worth the time.
I second that.
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Old 08-12-2005, 10:06 AM   #6
 
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LOL! I know just how you feel. People ask me what I'm mixed with and I'm like black and black . When I was younger and I used to wear my hair straight girls would pull it from the back and then ask if I had a weave. You just can't win for lose. It used to really piss me off, then I decided everyone was jealous and I've finally settled on ignorance in my wise old years, LOL! At one point I got so tired of it that I chopped it all off. For years I had a short Halle Berry cut.

Now when I get this response from people I try to ignore it. I still get asked if I have a weave/wig/perm/s-curl and/or native american/white/hispanic/belizian blood, LOL! I'm learning to love my hair and damn anyone who has a problem with it! haha
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Old 08-12-2005, 10:26 AM   #7
 
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I get that also. I had some lady at my school ask what kind of curl do I have in my hair to make my hair curl like it does.
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Old 08-12-2005, 10:36 AM   #8
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curltopia
That sounds like ignorance or jealousy or both.. I just checked out your album and your hair is growing out great and your curls are just lovely! Just ignore anyone who can't appreciate the natural beauty of your hair as-is. They are not worth the time.
Aw thanks Curltopia, you too shygirl...I was trying to be nice...but considering the sources, I believe that's what it is too.
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Old 08-12-2005, 10:46 AM   #9
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superstahr01
LOL! I know just how you feel. People ask me what I'm mixed with and I'm like black and black

I still get asked if I have a weave/wig/perm/s-curl and/or native american/white/hispanic/belizian blood
Oh yeah, I've been charged with being everything but black too! My favorite one in highschool was, "What are you? Mixed or something? You can't be all black".

Really, I've heard it my whole life and usually I just laugh at them, but today was the straw that broke the camels back! Of course I'm battling a cold and that has me a bit on the irritable side, but that's still no excuse for "ignant" comments. They need to stop sweatin' me, get a life and worry about their own D@%n heads....... Ok I feel better now

Thanks fellow curlies....I love y'all :grouphug:grouphug.gif
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Old 08-12-2005, 10:50 AM   #10
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cutietootie
I get that also. I had some lady at my school ask what kind of curl do I have in my hair to make my hair curl like it does.
Next time tell them Jesus juice because God made it that way! I bet that will shut them up
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Old 08-12-2005, 10:54 AM   #11
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curlilocs

Next time tell them Jesus juice because God made it that way! I bet that will shut them up
LOL! I love it! I'm using that one for sure
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Old 08-12-2005, 11:52 AM   #12
 
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I get the same questions all the time. What people don't realize is that AA culture is very diverse and that skin colors and hair textures can run the gamut. All of us are mixed if we look back far enough.

I usually just say I'm a mixture of my parents- both of whom have hair like mine. I leave it very ambiguous. The way I answer, they don't tend to probe too much.

Don't let them bother you. Take care of your hair, keep it healthy, and enjoy it!


By the way, your hair is lovely. The picture with the puff really reminds me of my hair before it grew to the point that the puff was less curly.
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Old 08-12-2005, 12:02 PM   #13
 
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i get that all the time! mostly from teachers

"is your hair like that naturally?" "did you get a perm?" "is that wut ur natural hair is like?" "how do you gat ur hair like that?"

the funniest incident is the kids i babysit

kid: y do u perm ur hair
me: i don't
kid: so how did it get so curly?
me: i was born that way
kid: so wen u came out of ur mommy ur hair was like that?
me: yes
next visit
kid: it must have taken a long time 4 ur mom to curl all of ur hair like that
me: she didn't
kid: who did
me: no1 i was born that way
kid: but how can sum1 b born with curly hair?
me: u were born with str8 hair so y can't i b born with curly hair?

she still duznt get the fact that ppl can have natural curls
lol she will sum day
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Old 08-12-2005, 12:10 PM   #14
 
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I agree with you all, that it's shortsighted to make these comments. I do look at it from two viewpoints:

One: it is ignorance...but it's in part ignorance based upon an unfortunate part of America's history. The whole black/mixed race, bad hair/good hair aesthetic has been so firmly woven within the very fabric of black culture in this country, that I'm simply not surprised when people go there with it. While curly hair doesn't equal mixed race, it is a likely indicator of mixed heritage somewhere in your background (although we know that most black americans, regardless of complexion, hair texture, or facial features are of mixed heritage). People assign (however misguided) certain preconcieved notions and values to it, and that's very unfortunate. If more women had always worn their hair natural, rather than most of us hiding our texture, I don't think the comments would be so common, becasue we'd be used to the various textures on american women of african descent.

Two: Most people, given a choice, would opt for curly hair as opposed to coily or nappy, undefined hair. As such, I sort of look at those comments akin to when some people make a comment about my weight (like "girl, just shut-up about you need to diet, you are so skinny"). For the record, I am not skinny. (I'm trying to articulate this correctly, so please forgive me if I offend anyone)--while it may irritate me a bit to have folks comment on my weight, I also know that I am in the "favored" category in this regard--ie, given a choice, more people want to be thinner than overweight. So for me, very little folks say about my weight is going to hurt or upset me like people making a negative comment to an overweight person, YKWIM? It's still ignorant and inappropriate, but for me, I don't think the degree of pain is the same. JMHO.
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Old 08-12-2005, 12:47 PM   #15
 
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I am dark so people automatically assume that my hair can not be this way. I have been asked if I have a texturizer. Whenever I get asked if my hair is naturally curly I say that my hair is naturally nappy. My hair is not perfect curls when I wash it, I have to take small sections to get it curly because it is a big frizz ball. So I think they assume you have the "good" hair thing going on but that is not true, it is a lot of work having natural curly hair.
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Old 08-12-2005, 02:03 PM   #16
 
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I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and positive feedback on this topic. Have a great weekend!
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Old 08-12-2005, 02:27 PM   #17
 
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I get the are you mixed thing all the time. Even though I am, people have no right to think they can ask me that out of the blue. Like even before I got the relaxer I am currently growing out people would ask cause I dont look "black"and when I sigh and say yes I am mixed they get this look on thier face which makes me think I should be happy that I am mixed and I should be happy that they asked me.Like I remember one time this girl came up to me and said

girl: are you mixed
me: why
girl: cause i want to know
me: you dont need to know ( giving her a crazy look)
girl: you are mixed i knew it ( sucking her teeth)
me: whatever
girl( talks to her friend and says that I think I am better then her cause I am mixed and has good hair)

Now this whole thing was before I got a relaxer and It makes me really mad cause they think just cause I am mixed I have to be mean and stuck up.I have been dismissed for so many reasons and most of them stem form me being mixed and having curly hair.I am really tired of people who think they can come up and say anything and I will be fine with and be happy that they asked me. But whatever I am strarting to rant so I will stop here and cool down.
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Old 08-12-2005, 03:09 PM   #18
 
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Default Re: Why can't my curls be natural???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Curlilocs
Has anyone else been dismissed as a natural because they have natually curly hair?
Yup.

Quote:
When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it". Now that I'm natural all I hear is " Did you jheri curl your hair?"
People thinking I have a texturizer or jherri curl really bothers me. I have thought about why it bothers me so much and I think it has to do with the fact that I transitioned for 14 months and am so happy to finally be all natural. So, it's really annoying when people refuse to believe that my curly hair is not chemically altered.

Quote:
When I polity tell them I just cut the relaxer out of it, they look at me like I have two heads and then reply "And your hair does that naturally?" the smiley indicates the look that goes with their question/ comment as if to say 'yeah right'. WTF???
Yes, it's also annoying to be treated with suspicion about my hair, as if a black person with curly hair belongs in the category of pigs flying.

Quote:
Just because my hair is curly doesn't mean I have to alter it with a chemical. Why do I have to face teeth sucking and rolling eyes because God made me this way. It just doesn't make sense how critical and judgemental people can sometimes be. SOrry but I had to get this off of my chest this morning :x
I hear ya, girl. Just enjoy your hair and don't let it get to you. You have beautiful curls!
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Old 08-13-2005, 09:58 AM   #19
 
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Default Re: Why can't my curls be natural???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Curlilocs
Has anyone else been dismissed as a natural because they have natually curly hair?

When I was relaxed and wore my curly wash and go's all I heard was "If I had hair like yours there's no way I'd relax it". Now that I'm natural all I hear is " Did you jheri curl your hair?" When I polity tell them I just cut the relaxer out of it, they look at me like I have two heads and then reply "And your hair does that naturally?" the smiley indicates the look that goes with their question/ comment as if to say 'yeah right'. WTF???

Just because my hair is curly doesn't mean I have to alter it with a chemical. Why do I have to face teeth sucking and rolling eyes because God made me this way. It just doesn't make sense how critical and judgemental people can sometimes be. SOrry but I had to get this off of my chest this morning :x
welcome to my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats why i love this site instead of nappturality....

but its so funny because now that im natural and people ask me if my hair is naturally curly or is it a texturizer, straw set, etc etc...then they act like im lying and there is no way my hair could be like this on its own. so after they realize im not lying the first thing out of their mouth is "why did you ever relax your hair??? if i had hair like yours i would never relax it....." suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.
*brace yourself, more venting* and when i did relax my hair and wore it curly (my hair will not be tamed by any chemical!) everyone was like, "why dont you wear your hair curly? i love it curly! curly curly curly" now that im natural and always wear it curly everyone pulls the whole "why dont you straighten your hair? i like your hair better straight. straight straight straight" oh get a life people. i swear. i think the world is only happy if theyre driving you crazy. whatever.
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Old 08-13-2005, 10:52 AM   #20
 
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I've been accused of having a texturizer a time or two and as a child, people used to ask me what I was mixed with. At that age, I was oblivious to race so I didn't really understand, I didn't even notice my hair texture.

Now, I'm like, oh well. If all they have to do is ponder why my hair is the way it is, then I'm glad I could provide them with some entertainment
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