Every reply is wrong (Ignored and Dismissed on NC.com)

. . . Now I see why people say that 3C people made up the category just so their hair wouldn't be considered nappy. I don't necessarily agree with that, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't see how they could logically conclude that.
Originally Posted by AfroCurls
Well, made up or not, I'm glad that this board is here because it has helped me so much as far as knowing how to take care of my hair and not just throw my hands up in exasperation and go relaxer-shopping! To me there is such a clear difference in 3b, 3c, and 4a hair as far as how it "acts" and what products/techniques benefit each the most.

Don't worry about it, I say. Keep reading, keep posting . . . you'll find the answers you need.
3c/3b, fine-med strands, dry and porous, cottony/silky mix My goal: healthy, BSL curls.
My hair journal:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/...ad.php?t=18289
But I do see people whose product recommendations are damn near law around these parts (i.e. Shyygirl) and these people should be on somebody's payroll! Usually, though, I think it's deserved: their product recs are the bomb! Shyygirl, at least, hasn't led me astray thus far. I can understand why people hop all over the stuff she recommends because her hair is beautiful and she's taking the time and money to try stuff. I'm not.

But like I said before, that's also indicative of people whose hair is right on the border line of "curly" and "nappy" and they want the best products to not make their hair look like what it really is. Experimentation is fine cause everybody does it and wants to know what their hair can look like. But after awhile...come on. Some people Ive seen around here need to give up the dream
.
Originally Posted by AfroCurls
ITA! its b/c of shygirl i found the perfect routine! i dont think the OP is talking about positive members of the board like her, who genuinely want to help. the OP is referring to the ladies that constantly disagree w whatever opinion is stated, as if theirs is divine law! the 3c "checkmate" ladies if you will. this behavior is synonymous
w females... it comes w the territory of being apart of a female community. its on every "girl site." its a necessary evil.

the other part...im most concerned about! the perfect, long, frizz free hair monopoly we have here in 3c is for the birds. this portion of gabby's post is what sparked my attention. this, more than anything else, is extremely ridiculous! it really needs to stop! i mean really!
loose 4a, silky meets cottony
routine: co-wash, add leave in or plain water, shake & go
staples: elucence poo & conditioners, V05 & suave naturals, jessicurl too shea, AO.
im most concerned about! the perfect, long, frizz free hair monopoly we have here in 3c is for the birds. this portion of gabby's post is what sparked my attention. this, more than anything else, is extremely ridiculous! it really needs to stop!
Originally Posted by jazzijenni81
Is this only in 3C? No long, frizz free hair in 3B or 4A? I haven't visited the other boards.
GabbyC wrote:
If you don't have long, perfectly defined frizz free curls, you don't have anything to offer or your just totally ignored.
I took some of your advice...it was from a hair tangles thread awhile back. You mentioned that you were using avocado oil and wanted to know where to buy. I posted that it can bought from WholeFoods. I actually bought some, but did not post that I like using it.

Oh and I don't have long, frizzy, perfect curls...far from it...

HTH
Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 6,581
Why is 3c the funniest of the Andre boards? (yeah... I'm one of the occasional lurk and laugh folks)
Originally Posted by Cherish
lol

Because its such a cross-section of different types of people..
Originally Posted by *Ani*
Yet the General Discussion board is more diverse...

So, maybe the answer is to revert the boards back to that one board OR split this one into:
3c-n -- curly nappies
3c-lpd -- curly long perfectly defined

Since 3C is a made up category anyway and is right ON the border.
Originally Posted by AfroCurls
Um, they're all made up categories, really.
3c-n -- curly nappies
3c-lpd -- curly long perfectly defined

Originally Posted by Cherish
LMAO....
On Rush Limbaugh: Rather than engage in the admittedly difficult task of justifying GOP policies rationally, the key to Limbaugh’s success is attracting an audience that actually yearns to be lied to.
I don't really post here a whole LOT, but even still, I don't think I really see CLIQUES, yanno? That makes me think of a group of people excluding someone else and I don't see anybody being EXCLUDED, per se.

But I do see people whose product recommendations are damn near law around these parts (i.e. Shyygirl) and these people should be on somebody's payroll! Usually, though, I think it's deserved: their product recs are the bomb! Shyygirl, at least, hasn't led me astray thus far. I can understand why people hop all over the stuff she recommends because her hair is beautiful and she's taking the time and money to try stuff. I'm not.

But like I said before, that's also indicative of people whose hair is right on the border line of "curly" and "nappy" and they want the best products to not make their hair look like what it really is. Experimentation is fine cause everybody does it and wants to know what their hair can look like. But after awhile...come on. Some people Ive seen around here need to give up the dream.
Originally Posted by AfroCurls
I agree, AfroCurls! Your post brings up a valid point! There are a lot of people looking for some magic product to make their hair transform into waves and it just doesn't work like that. I have seen quite a few posts on people who call themselves 2g and 3z and crap like that... just be who you are. It's a shame.
What I notice:

When someone posts to say that they feel excluded by cliquishness, it's always the clique members who respond first to say 'Oh no, I don't see any of THAT kind of behavior around here! You must be mistaken.'

News flash! You're not seeing the exclusionary behavior because YOU ARE IN THE GROUP DOING IT. You CAN'T see it from the inside.

Duh.

Originally Posted by agent compassion
You are funny
Originally Posted by Candy
Thanks for proving my point.



I definitely notice an anti-straightie vibe from, oh...most of the board?

Not every curly has hair that can be transformed magically into perfect spirals, and some of us just like to experiment with straightening. Doesn't make us traitors. If you pick on straighties then you're no better than straighties who pick on curlies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by spring1onu
I like having something "down below"
Quote:
Originally Posted by smurfette
What would you call it, sci-fi guru?
don't click this. seriously.
im most concerned about! the perfect, long, frizz free hair monopoly we have here in 3c is for the birds. this portion of gabby's post is what sparked my attention. this, more than anything else, is extremely ridiculous! it really needs to stop!
Originally Posted by jazzijenni81
Is this only in 3C? No long, frizz free hair in 3B or 4A? I haven't visited the other boards.
Originally Posted by medussa
I've seen plenty of long, frizz free hair on 3B. And then not so long hair, like mine Webjockey has long, frizz free hair and posts regularly on 4a - so there are such hairtypes all over.

I don't think the hairtype boards are perfect, but I do see a lot of helpful advice and support going back and forth on ALL of the boards most of the time (when the venting and drama is over). It saddens me to read suggestions that we splinter the boards even further, but if some people feel that way then they are entitled to their opinion. I read and post on a huge range of threads on all different boards and it doesn't bother me one bit to have variety of boards or to acknowledge different hair types. But that is me. Others are entitled to their own views.

Agreed with SF Curlee that all of the types are made up. The 3a, 3b and 4a hair types are not divinity or absolute truth because Andre came up with them in his book. They are just as artificially constructed as 3c. If you look at the definitions and pictures of the hairtypes and read the different posts, there is difference between these hair types and difference is not bad. I personally do not have long picture perfect curly hair but I am happy for other people (like Medussa and Nesrine, for example) who do. We are all part of a big, diverse curly community. Why is that not enough???????
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
- Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
Also, Bianca, you have such a witty, creative way of expressing yourself - I am always cracking up at your posts
Originally Posted by curltopia
Awww . Tank ya kindly! It's crazy because most of the time, I'm not trying to be funny. When I am trying though, people are like :|.
Shampoo: Herbal Essences-NOYF

Conditioner: Herbal Essences NOYF Conditioner mixed w/ Coppola Keratin Complex Conditioner

+ TJ Nourish and Olive oil combo.
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 6,581
Hey... I also suggested you all revert back to General Discussion which is much more diverse and didn't have all the drama.

I liked seeing everyone in one place, and still don't understand why I should have to jump from board to board to look for topics. But, if further splintering is what it will take to help you all get along, I say go for it! I'd still come and visit occasionally
Gabby,

I think the response to this thread is probably the answer to part of your question. People tend to reply to topics that spark their interest or to posts that they feel they can contribute to. I know I read a lot of threads, but only post every so often.

Well, I do hope you feel better about this now.
http://public.fotki.com/braziliancurls/
pw:wondercurls
HG: CURLS Pure Essentials, Naturally Enhanced curl lotion, and Curl Ecstasy conditioner, DevaCurl OneC, Cream of Nature Shampoo
Thanks for all the replies!

Let me just make a quick point. This thread was not designed to satisfy any attention junkie ways that some of you may think I have. And this thread is not directed at Shyygirl who has helped me from time to time.

Frankly, it was directed at the "Loud Mouths". The girls who always show up on a thread with a smart mouth thinking they are the messiah of curly hair. And I don't just speak for myself, but for the other posters this constantly happens too.

In addition, I can't help but think as obviously, so do some others, that if you don't have "perfect hair" then your opinion means nothing. I have spent a lifetime rejecting my hair and doing everything in my power to make it everything it's not. I don't do that anymore. It irritates me that when you are truly natural, you don't count. I thought it was all about accepting out hair for what it is?


_________________
[/b]
Short 4A Hair.
Niaoli wrote

i've noticed this too like

the cliques/cool kids posts get tons of replies when non cool kids posts hardly get any attention.

the cliques/cool kids have tons of sway when it comes to product recs. like if 2 or 3 cool kids say a product works, everyone will jump on the bandwagon but if a non cool kid says a product works, the recs will be practically ignored.

i guess certain people have more leadership qualities/charisma than others which comes out in their posts and since there are more followers than leaders in this world, i guess it makes sense that some people will hang onto and follow behind everything they say or do.

there are a few independent spirits here so there's still hope!
ITA completely.

Ani - I'm glad you enjoyed the long hair mystery thread.
Short 4A Hair.
Bianca wrote:

That's what I was thinking. If people are upset because she gets alot of posts, they really should get over it. It's because the girl knows what she's talking about.

My question is, are yalls post out and out ignored or do you not get as many replies as you want? Because if you ask "Where can I buy Elucence?" and someone replies "Curlmart." or "BlahBlah BeautyStore.", I don't see the problem. You asked a question and it got answered.

I've never understood the "clique" thing either. (Maybe it's cause I'm one of the cool people ) When you're on the non-hair board, you get to "know" other posters because of all the topics that go on over there. So of course, you have "friends" that you "know" better than others. Is that what's meant?

My point is, if you're here to learn about your hair, then post whatever questions you have. If it gets answered within the first or second post, than that's okay; you learned what you needed to know. If your posts are being totally ignored, than that's a problem. I understand why you would be frustrated.

If you want 150 responses to "What are the ingredients of Shea butter?" just to feel special, that's a whole different issue.
One person states an opinion and people just take it and run with it
Your asking me what I mean. I thought I spoke very plainly in my OP. If your one of the "cool people" as you say, then you really have nothing to offer to the "losers" on this thread right? Thanks for the commmentary.
Short 4A Hair.
Thanks for all the replies!

Let me just make a quick point. This thread was not designed to satisfy any attention junkie ways that some of you may think I have. And this thread is not directed at Shyygirl who has helped me from time to time.

Frankly, it was directed at the "Loud Mouths". The girls who always show up on a thread with a smart mouth thinking they are the messiah of curly hair. And I don't just speak for myself, but for the other posters this constantly happens too.

In addition, I can't help but think as obviously, so do some others, that if you don't have "perfect hair" then your opinion means nothing. I have spent a lifetime rejecting my hair and doing everything in my power to make it everything it's not. I don't do that anymore. It irritates me that when you are truly natural, you don't count. I thought it was all about accepting out hair for what it is?

_________________
[/b]
Originally Posted by GabbyC
ITA! w everything you've said. the bolded part is the bottom line!

ETA: its not that i hate long, perfectly frizz free hair...if it comes to you naturally, beautiful! its the mentality behind doing everything in your power to mimic that look! thats deep

im often told my hair would look so pretty long, or why do i keep it short...is my hair any less beautiful b/c its short? b/c i dont load pounds of goo to achieve the curliest, shiniest, frizz free look?

im afrolatina. i wont fight that. my curls arent naturally sleek...and i love the way they look! im proud of every piece of fuzz on my head...i choose to wear it short b/c it looks good. in saying that, i notice a texture/length monopoly here...is there room for women who arent consumed w long, perfectly frizz free hair?
loose 4a, silky meets cottony
routine: co-wash, add leave in or plain water, shake & go
staples: elucence poo & conditioners, V05 & suave naturals, jessicurl too shea, AO.
Jazzi-

You have great hair as many have noticed and commented upon. In particular, you have mega wattage shine that could blind a person. Your hair is awesome. So what if people give you a hard time over length issues - tell them to go shove it!

Gabby-

There are no cool kids or losers here beyond what we make of it. I don't see cool kids or losers at all. I see a lot of women of diverse backgrounds and appearance and hair texture and hair length. I see an explosion of diversity on many of the hair boards, particularly 3c and I like it quite a bit. Yes, there are plenty of long frizz free curlies here but also plenty of everything else. If you and others see a monopoly, then ok. But the last time I checked, the 4a, 4b, 3c and 3b boards all had threads devoted to images of gorgeous, blow your mind beautiful hair - and it was of all lengths and textures.

But if this thread helps you and others to feel better and to air grievances that is cool. I guess that I just see things differently.
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
- Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
Does anyone else have this problem - when your checking out a thread and you think you have something to add, you post a reply and always the same people come behind you and say your wrong?
Originally Posted by GabbyC
Here you were saying that you felt people came behind you correcting what you say when you think you have something valuble to offer.

If you don't have long, perfectly defined frizz free curls, you don't have anything to offer or your just totally ignored. Sorry I'm going off, but it gets irritating because I know I'm not alone.

Perfect example - even now this thread is being ignored Oh well, I was never big on fitting in anyway.
Originally Posted by GabbyC
Here you're saying that if you don't have perfect hair, people totally ignore you. Then you say that this thread is being ignored even after people had responded to you.



That's why I asked the question.
Shampoo: Herbal Essences-NOYF

Conditioner: Herbal Essences NOYF Conditioner mixed w/ Coppola Keratin Complex Conditioner

+ TJ Nourish and Olive oil combo.
The assumption that people are actively ignoring a thread is giving board members way too much credit.

It's a discussion board, not an exercise in mind concentration.

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