I looked on sweetpeacurli's website and it stated that all that I mentioned that were in my conditioner were not water soluble. And I found Cetrimonium Chloride in many of the products I was looking at in the store today. According to the list there are only a few that are water soluble(and don't dry out the hair). These are the ones that were listed as water soluble:
Hydrolized wheat protein /Hydroxypropyl Polysiloxane
Lauryl methicone copolyol
However there was a couple that were sparingly soluble:
Check out sweetpeacurli's website she's a real gem!
P.S. I decided to junk the oil serum stuff I had that was loaded with cones and well I thought I would see how it did in hot water. I poured some into hot running water in my bathroom sink and (mind you this was scalding water) well it stayed on top of the water like an oil sludge. Got me thinking "why do we put THAT in our hair!?"