Being natural you can only date white men

I remember a while back there was a thread in the Hall of Shame where this (white) girl said another (white) girl told her that because her hair was curly she could only date black guys. I thought the comment was so stupid it was funny. But anyway, I was talkin to this a young woman the other day and she's married to a white guy. I know a few naturals that are married to white guys actually and I brought this up to her in the conversation (I know it sounds weird to bring up but trust me in fit in our extensive conversation). So she tells me "Being natural, you can really only get white guys to date you." I had never really heard of that. I mean I heard of non-naturals saying things like "Women with natural hair claim to be pro black but marry white men." but I never heard a natural say that white guys are the only ones that will date them.

Now I don't see a lot of white ppl on a regular basis but When I'm out somewhere and it's a racially diverse crowd, I do notice that white guys (and latino guys) talk to me. But even when I had braid extensions it was like that. I always assumed it was cuz I have a flat @ss and big breasts. I never thought my hair would be a reason. I told her that I've only dated black guys and I met my current boyfriend while I was rockin a fro. And in fact when I first went natural I was hit on by black guys quite often.

I dunno, I just thought it was weird coming from a natural haired black woman.
Originally Posted by Cali Chik
As a person who was playing in the jungle for a good bit, I will tell you that when a white guy crosses over-- yes he wants to find someone he's attracted to and he likes, but many white men have told me that they're looking for the genuine article. Natural haired girls in their opinion are more authentic (in thier "blackness") Sounds a little crazy that perming my hair would make me "unauthentic". but I guess some folks think that if they're going to cross over...

then they're going to cross over!
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As a person who was playing in the jungle for a good bit, I will tell you that when a white guy crosses over-- yes he wants to find someone he's attracted to and he likes, but many white men have told me that they're looking for the genuine article. Natural haired girls in their opinion are more authentic (in thier "blackness") Sounds a little crazy that perming my hair would make me "unauthentic". but I guess some folks think that if they're going to cross over...

then they're going to cross over!
Originally Posted by Naturalista

Lol I know white guys that say this too! And quote, "I mean, if I wanted my gf to have straight hair, I'd date a white girl"--said with a face
I think that white guys who date black women are comfortable with the "other" and all that entails. So when they see a black woman with natural hair that they find attractive they factor in the natural hair as part of the "other" and don't use the Western paradigm for beauty when considering dating the woman.
a lot more white guys have started hitting on me since Ive gine natural... but I don't think its just the naturalness bc i had my hair in a bun where it couldve been relaxed and they still hit on me... I think it might be its becoming more acceptable with all the black women white men couples in the media and all the mixed couples running around lately.... it could also be liquid courage cus a few of these men had a few drinks and dont say anything more than telling me im beautiful and then walking away...
http://members.fotki.com/SilverAngel45
a lot more white guys have started hitting on me since Ive gine natural... but I don't think its just the naturalness bc i had my hair in a bun where it couldve been relaxed and they still hit on me... I think it might be its becoming more acceptable with all the black women white men couples in the media and all the mixed couples running around lately.... it could also be liquid courage cus a few of these men had a few drinks and dont say anything more than telling me im beautiful and then walking away...
Originally Posted by SilverAngel45
I think that confidence is everything, and I find that us Naturalista's out here rock our brand from head to toe and that's attractive to any man, no matter the color.
Type: 3c with some 4a highlighted
Low porosity thick/coarse texture. nml elasticity
Routine: No rules, just happy hair

Cleanse: CJDF, Prell, LUSH Curly Wurly, Bobeam
LI/RO:BBB, CJ, SheaM, HEHIS, Garnier, KBN Shealoe, CD Chocolat, Oyin HH
Styling: CJ, CR, UFD, Zuresh, Ecostyler,MJ
PT/DT: BBB, CJ, Lather, MJSSB

HUGE PJJJJJJJJ!!!!

]
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As a person who was playing in the jungle for a good bit, I will tell you that when a white guy crosses over-- yes he wants to find someone he's attracted to and he likes, but many white men have told me that they're looking for the genuine article. Natural haired girls in their opinion are more authentic (in thier "blackness") Sounds a little crazy that perming my hair would make me "unauthentic". but I guess some folks think that if they're going to cross over...

then they're going to cross over!
Originally Posted by Naturalista
from my experience, white men who exclusively date black women don't like me because i don't fit the stereotype of relaxed hair/ridiculous weave, dark skin, gangsta boo. i don't know if it's just the area i live in or what. but they tend to gravitate to that type of "authentic" black woman.
Well, if you pay attention to pictures on the interwebs, it'll have you thinking there's a tidal wave of black women dating white men. Natural and otherwise. It's like naturals in the media. It doesn't truly reflect the nation on a whole. I've found that the bigger I wear my hair (closer to picked-out fro), the more men of all races compliment me. They ain't checking for my twists and buns. So far, only black men have asked me out, though.

And

Welp, I guess someone better tell all the black guys that try to talk to me because of my hair that they need not apply--because I am destined for a white man smh..is there a tee shirt that I can buy from somewhere? I'd like to crush their dreams non verbally, thanks
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
made me giggle out loud.
I never thought my hair had anything to do with who I date. I thought it had to do with more of where I live, demographics, work environment, etc. I'm from Oakland, lived in the San Francisco Bay Area most of my life where you see mixed couples all the time. Its the norm.

I recently moved Portland where the black population is substantially less than the SF Bay so who I date will reflect that as well.

Working in the financial district and now high tech/internet industry, you're not going to see as many blacks in those industries in general.

Not sure if its all about my hair.
APL BSL MBL WL HL TBL | porous, fine/medium strands, medium density
My Fotki!
Below: Typical PS bun

As a person who was playing in the jungle for a good bit, I will tell you that when a white guy crosses over-- yes he wants to find someone he's attracted to and he likes, but many white men have told me that they're looking for the genuine article. Natural haired girls in their opinion are more authentic (in thier "blackness") Sounds a little crazy that perming my hair would make me "unauthentic". but I guess some folks think that if they're going to cross over...

then they're going to cross over!
Originally Posted by Naturalista
from my experience, white men who exclusively date black women don't like me because i don't fit the stereotype of relaxed hair/ridiculous weave, dark skin, gangsta boo. i don't know if it's just the area i live in or what. but they tend to gravitate to that type of "authentic" black woman.
Originally Posted by subbrock
call me dense this morning but i'm not following this . are you saying the bolded is an 'authentic' black woman?
LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice

As a person who was playing in the jungle for a good bit, I will tell you that when a white guy crosses over-- yes he wants to find someone he's attracted to and he likes, but many white men have told me that they're looking for the genuine article. Natural haired girls in their opinion are more authentic (in thier "blackness") Sounds a little crazy that perming my hair would make me "unauthentic". but I guess some folks think that if they're going to cross over...

then they're going to cross over!
Originally Posted by Naturalista
from my experience, white men who exclusively date black women don't like me because i don't fit the stereotype of relaxed hair/ridiculous weave, dark skin, gangsta boo. i don't know if it's just the area i live in or what. but they tend to gravitate to that type of "authentic" black woman.
Originally Posted by subbrock
call me dense this morning but i'm not following this . are you saying the bolded is an 'authentic' black woman?
Originally Posted by hippychic
+1. That don't seem authentic to me, that seems lost.
Defeated the Relaxer: January 2001
Dreadlocks Since: March 2001
Cut Dreadlocks: February 2009

Holy Grails:
Amla and Bhringraj are the TRUTH, HE LTR Conditioner is the BIDNESS, Shea butter, Honey, Jamican Black Castor Oil

Full head of 4a hair!

As a person who was playing in the jungle for a good bit, I will tell you that when a white guy crosses over-- yes he wants to find someone he's attracted to and he likes, but many white men have told me that they're looking for the genuine article. Natural haired girls in their opinion are more authentic (in thier "blackness") Sounds a little crazy that perming my hair would make me "unauthentic". but I guess some folks think that if they're going to cross over...

then they're going to cross over!
Originally Posted by Naturalista
from my experience, white men who exclusively date black women don't like me because i don't fit the stereotype of relaxed hair/ridiculous weave, dark skin, gangsta boo. i don't know if it's just the area i live in or what. but they tend to gravitate to that type of "authentic" black woman.
Originally Posted by subbrock


ROFLMAO@ "gansta boo" ? They probably think you are biracial anyway!
call me dense this morning but i'm not following this . are you saying the bolded is an 'authentic' black woman?
Originally Posted by hippychic
Hmm, I don't know if I'm the one that misunderstood then.. because I got the impression she put "authentic" in quotes to denote it as being sarcastic. As in that's what certain white guys THINK is an "authentic" black woman, and not that she actually thinks that's what an authentic black woman is...
+1. That don't seem authentic to me, that seems lost.
Originally Posted by NubianCoils
Speaking of black women.. did you see that video I posted for you in the True Blood thread ???
I get hit on less by Black men since I've been natural. When I was relaxed and had BSL hair, Black men young and old approached me. Now, only older Black men want to approach me and that's only a handful.
+1. That don't seem authentic to me, that seems lost.
Originally Posted by NubianCoils
Speaking of black women.. did you see that video I posted for you in the True Blood thread ???
Originally Posted by Marah Mizrahi
NO SPOILERS

i dont have hbo im waiting for this season to hit netflix in 2011...i was going to subscribe but im weeks behind

this has nothing to do with this thread SORRY

ive been natural since 1995 i could count how many times a white man has approached me. i know black women with weaves and relaxers who get lots of play from white guys. so in my experience it's not really about hair
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call me dense this morning but i'm not following this . are you saying the bolded is an 'authentic' black woman?
Originally Posted by hippychic
Hmm, I don't know if I'm the one that misunderstood then.. because I got the impression she put "authentic" in quotes to denote it as being sarcastic. As in that's what certain white guys THINK is an "authentic" black woman, and not that she actually thinks that's what an authentic black woman is...
Originally Posted by Marah Mizrahi
yes, thats what i was saying. i think i've shared it here before but a few months ago i was out with friends when this (white) man approached me and we started talking. he told me that he usually only dates black women, but he would make an exception for me, since i'm clearly biracial. (1) geez, how thoughtful (2) thanks, but no thanks (3) i'm not biracial (4) it's been 5 minutes of conversation. maybe you should ask me if i have man before you start making exceptions to your rule.

like i said, i don't know if its where i live or the places i go, but that's how most of the white men who date black women are. i've seen very, very, very, few naturals with a white man here. and a non gangsta boo natural? oh you can forget that. i bet new york (aka tiffany pollard) would get more play from white men than halle berry. weird, i know.
thanks for clarifying for me

here in the dmv (dc, maryland, virginia) i see all kinds of couples.
LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
+1. That don't seem authentic to me, that seems lost.
Originally Posted by NubianCoils
Speaking of black women.. did you see that video I posted for you in the True Blood thread ???
Originally Posted by Marah Mizrahi
NO! Running over to see it now!!!!
Defeated the Relaxer: January 2001
Dreadlocks Since: March 2001
Cut Dreadlocks: February 2009

Holy Grails:
Amla and Bhringraj are the TRUTH, HE LTR Conditioner is the BIDNESS, Shea butter, Honey, Jamican Black Castor Oil

Full head of 4a hair!
I've never had a white man approach me, except for creepy old white men. Except this boy in high school who was like obsessed with me, creeper, I probably give white men the side eye subconsciously, if they have long greasy hair and wear girl pants.
+1. That don't seem authentic to me, that seems lost.
Originally Posted by NubianCoils
Speaking of black women.. did you see that video I posted for you in the True Blood thread ???
Originally Posted by Marah Mizrahi
NO SPOILERS

i dont have hbo im waiting for this season to hit netflix in 2011...i was going to subscribe but im weeks behind

this has nothing to do with this thread SORRY

ive been natural since 1995 i could count how many times a white man has approached me. i know black women with weaves and relaxers who get lots of play from white guys. so in my experience it's not really about hair
Originally Posted by hypnotic
Relax, it has nothing to do with spoilers...it was an interview with one of the stars just so she could see her clothes, hair, makeup.. um.. THAT'S ALL. She knows what I mean.

And as many guano's happen on NC.com.. um...I don't see it as that big a deal. I wouldn't be silly enough to put spoilers though.. goodness.

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