Why are people still under some natural hair illusion?!

I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
[End rant]
I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
[End rant]
Originally Posted by curlylcp
I agree with these. That's why now I've gotten to the point where I don't try and offer "hang in there" advice. Because if you feel that your hair is so hard, taking up too much of your time, and you want to relax/texlax, then go ahead and do it. Only you have to live with that decision; no one on here can make it for you.

I can only stick with MY choice to go natural and why I am never going to relax my hair again.

I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
[End rant]
Originally Posted by curlylcp
I agree with these. That's why now I've gotten to the point where I don't try and offer "hang in there" advice. Because if you feel that your hair is so hard, taking up too much of your time, and you want to relax/texlax, then go ahead and do it. Only you have to live with that decision; no one on here can make it for you.

I can only stick with MY choice to go natural and why I am never going to relax my hair again.
Originally Posted by Booker Ts Mama
amen and amen!!!
LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
Well whether it was a rant or not.. it was a very good one. That made A LOT of good common sense!

I guess I just try to be supportive though because I know not everyone can hang in there or even want to once their hair gets a certain length. And people have different preference that changes with the wind at times. So I just try to educate those I can.

Having said that, Certain folks that go ballistic cause their hair is not silky smooth curls like they wished and feel like they gotta run back to the creamy crack SOLELY based that... get on my darn nerves.
I'm not natural but I agree with everything you said. With some of these posts about giving up, it's the same people who have been given a ton of good advice.

I feel like it's some kind of attention/manipulation ploy so they can be told how beautiful their hair is and to step back from the ledge.
4a/b Texlaxed hair w/ highlights. Medium texture & high porosity.

HG's: CJ Daily Fix, Bobeam Cheris Hibiscus shampoo bar, KC Spiral Spritz, Knot Today, CJ Rehab, KBB LL Hair Mask, Cassia, KCCC, oil blend of Avocado, Camellia, Jojoba, & Meadowfoam oils

SL APL BSL MBL
Marah, you are helpful and have the patience, something I don't have! I come on here for advice just like the next person, but unless you are 18 and younger, learn how to make decisions! I know that may seem harsh, but I put a quick stop to people I know in "real life" when they start whining about their hair, because I honestly don't want to hear it. If you come on here to genuinely get support then I understand, but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.
Marah, you are helpful and have the patience, something I don't have! I come on here for advice just like the next person, but unless you are 18 and younger, learn how to make decisions! I know that may seem harsh, but I put a quick stop to people I know in "real life" when they start whining about their hair, because I honestly don't want to hear it. If you come on here to genuinely get support then I understand, but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.
Originally Posted by curlylcp
I don't disagree with a thing you said. In my opinion you are saying something very valid and I agree with it totally. So you'll catch no flack from me concerning your opinion.
I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
[End rant]
Originally Posted by curlylcp
Very good points!

In all honesty, being natural has made my life easier regarding my hair. Heck, I could never stick my head under a shower head for a few secs, shake & go, or put just a little product in my hair & be able to have a fro in a few secs, or even get twists to stay in my hair! I know I'm saying all this from a TWA perspective, and I'm aware that once my hair grows out, it will require some more effort on my part. That being said, I've had short relaxed hair & it was not easy for me to preserve a style.

I've just always felt like being relaxed was a hassle for me & I needed a better way. Unless I just wanted to walk around the same straight, wrapped hair style, I had to grab curling irons or rollers to try to achieve a different look... and it never lasted more than a couple days for me.

I dunno what people's expectations are of natural hair. I guess there is a certain look they had hoped to achieve, but we all have different hair. Having a certain curl pattern, or none at all, won't make your life easier or make you a better person. Even if they had the curl pattern or look they desired, at the end of the day they'd still be unhappy because the problem isn't with the hair, it's within.
Marah, you are helpful and have the patience, something I don't have! I come on here for advice just like the next person, but unless you are 18 and younger, learn how to make decisions! I know that may seem harsh, but I put a quick stop to people I know in "real life" when they start whining about their hair, because I honestly don't want to hear it. If you come on here to genuinely get support then I understand, but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.
Originally Posted by curlylcp
I don't disagree with a thing you said. In my opinion you are saying something very valid and I agree with it totally. So you'll catch no flack from me concerning your opinion.
Originally Posted by Marah Mizrahi

Oh no, wasn't saying you were. I admire your ability to try to help no matter how many times the same version of a question comes up! Was just addressing in general about how I am over the natural-vs-relaxer choice.

Oh no, wasn't saying you were. I admire your ability to try to help no matter how many times the same version of a question comes up! Was just addressing in general about how I am over the natural-vs-relaxer choice.
Originally Posted by curlylcp
ROFL! I do that.. don't I. I should probably stop doing it so much! Cause I mean everyone has the ability to do a search on here.

But I guess I sort of think a lot of people are lazy and if I don't detail it all out for them even it's a repeat..they won't look it up and will go on in ignorance. Perhaps I underestimate people to much.

But eh..now that you've brought this up..now that I think about it..their lack of looking stuff up isn't my issue and I shouldn't just be so quick to repeat info that they should try to learn on their own if they really care about their hair.

You've given me something to think about that's for sure..appreciate it!
I agree with the OP on this matter. It's quite sad that posts such as those regarding persons wanting to go back to relaxing, are popping up. As many of you have said, growing natural hair long takes time and patience. Not every day, it would be a bed of roses. Detangling may take a while but it is up to the individual to educate herself on detangling techniques, conditioners and other products that would help her through the process of taking care of her hair.

Also, the individual has to look within as FoxyCleopatra pointed out. One's mentality conditions one's hair journey. If one wants to relax, go ahead but do not expect a 'pep' talk or some sympathy because there are many others who struggle with their hair on a constant basis, but choose to endure.
Blessed Princess Diamante, High Archivist of the Thrifty Trinitarians in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last Relaxer: July 31st, 2008
BC: 14th August, 2009
Favourite Product Line: None at the moment
HGs: Amla, brahmi, maka, neem, hibiscus and fenugreek powders.

yes, marah and a lot of other curlies are so patient with people... answering the same questions over and over. since i've been a member here, i notice some people (from reading the really old posts) get help and don't bother to stay and pay it forward. you might not 'see' them again until they need more help. it seems the same folks help many times over. i am very grateful for that

*************

i never understood how people come to a natural hair board to say they dislike their natural hair.

i'm on the DO YOU boat. my only gripe is them making people on the fence or transitioning see going natural as an unrealistic task.
LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
... but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.
Originally Posted by curlylcp
i know it wasn't supposed to be funny but this has me
LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
It's sad that Natural hair is considered a hard decision but using dangerous chemicals to straighten isn't.

It's sad that we have to go through so much just to learn and understand our hair at all. It's crazy how much we don't know about our hair because we've spent most of our lives destroying it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
- don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.
www.lifestarbeauty.com
Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


It's sad that Natural hair is considered a hard decision but using dangerous chemicals to straighten isn't.

It's sad that we have to go through so much just to learn and understand our hair at all. It's crazy how much we don't know about our hair because we've spent most of our lives destroying it.
Originally Posted by Cali Chik
Agreed.
Blessed Princess Diamante, High Archivist of the Thrifty Trinitarians in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last Relaxer: July 31st, 2008
BC: 14th August, 2009
Favourite Product Line: None at the moment
HGs: Amla, brahmi, maka, neem, hibiscus and fenugreek powders.

I like this thread - it wasn't a rant, it was the truth. Sometimes I get really upset about my hair but NOT because it's natural - I get upset that I ever had a relaxer in the first place! I honestly think that relaxers do residual damage to your follicle that takes awhile to grow out/heal. Call me crazy, but that's what I think! I'd never touch one again.

PS slight guano - Drama on the general hair board!! Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Inclusion... (Involving Marah, obvi, heehee)
BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
YouTube

Grand Duchess Fierce Freckles, Mistress of the Mighty Snap and Doyenne of the Potent Products Pavane in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
Y'all are funny! I know I lurk more than I post, but I completely understand and appreciate the people who are here to help. Y'all have been here from the beginning and continue to help people out (i.e. Marah, MUCC, subrock, etc.). I try to pay it forward (even if I am still learning), but sometimes it is hard! I mean, I don't think I came in here saying my hair was a nappy, dry mess, please help me at the beginning, lol. Like someone above said, it's not going to be roses EVERYDAY, but deal with it. It will be like that even with a relaxer.

Anyway, I agree with the OP. Please look within if you need help, try going to the search bar for help, or even contact Marah (j/k). But don't make things so difficult on yourself! Godspeed.
Marah, you are helpful and have the patience, something I don't have! I come on here for advice just like the next person, but unless you are 18 and younger, learn how to make decisions! I know that may seem harsh, but I put a quick stop to people I know in "real life" when they start whining about their hair, because I honestly don't want to hear it. If you come on here to genuinely get support then I understand, but a lot of these people want a violin to play for all their woes as a po' little nappy, short- haired, girl who won't be able to get a man and a job because their hair is not straight...ugh.
Originally Posted by curlylcp
lol.. i luv you!... my thinking these days is if you want to put a hot turd on top of your head, be my guest. do what you want to do.. no one on here can convince anyone of anything especially if they have already made up their mind
I haven't been on here frequently in a while, but for some reason I am still a little surprised that there are still "about to go back to relaxers/I can't take this anymore/ my hair is not they way I thought it would be" posts every other post.

Natural hair is a decision, in my opinion, a mature one. There is enough information out there for you to know that it is not an overnight process.

YES, your hair may be hard to detangle, YES your hair may be "nappier" than you thought, YES, your hair may not grow down to your butt in a year. YES, you may not have big hair or curlynikki curls, or hair that is all the same texture...but it is your hair. Hair that grows out of your head and was made just for you. If you can't deal- then go back to a relaxer or whatever method that makes you happy. But coming on here to get confirmation that you are making the right decision will only get you so far. The ladies are supportive and will make recommendations, but you have to be secure with who you are and happy with your OWN choice. It is easy to get caught up in the "hype" of natural hair now, but know that all those women you see with BAAs or hair down to their waists made a decision to stick with through the ups and downs. Nothing is easy and if you are looking for an easy way, then yes, maybe natural hair is not for you. Life is way too short to be dwelling on your dang hair all day everyday.
[End rant]
Originally Posted by curlylcp
Very good points!

In all honesty, being natural has made my life easier regarding my hair. Heck, I could never stick my head under a shower head for a few secs, shake & go, or put just a little product in my hair & be able to have a fro in a few secs, or even get twists to stay in my hair! I know I'm saying all this from a TWA perspective, and I'm aware that once my hair grows out, it will require some more effort on my part. That being said, I've had short relaxed hair & it was not easy for me to preserve a style.

I've just always felt like being relaxed was a hassle for me & I needed a better way. Unless I just wanted to walk around the same straight, wrapped hair style, I had to grab curling irons or rollers to try to achieve a different look... and it never lasted more than a couple days for me.

I dunno what people's expectations are of natural hair. I guess there is a certain look they had hoped to achieve, but we all have different hair. Having a certain curl pattern, or none at all, won't make your life easier or make you a better person. Even if they had the curl pattern or look they desired, at the end of the day they'd still be unhappy because the problem isn't with the hair, it's within.
Originally Posted by FoxyCleopatra
This was totally me. I got so tired of having to go and get someone else to style my hair for me. Then, if I wanted it to last at least a week, I couldn't take hot showers, had to sleep with my chin between the pillows on the bed (don't ask), and had to wake up with a crook in my neck for the sake of keeping my hair looking like I'd just gotten it done. Not to mention the bald spot that was coming up in the crown of my head.

But, if someone wants to go back to that, by all means go right ahead.

I like this thread - it wasn't a rant, it was the truth. Sometimes I get really upset about my hair but NOT because it's natural - I get upset that I ever had a relaxer in the first place! I honestly think that relaxers do residual damage to your follicle that takes awhile to grow out/heal. Call me crazy, but that's what I think! I'd never touch one again.

PS slight guano - Drama on the general hair board!! Don't get me wrong, I'm all for Inclusion... (Involving Marah, obvi, heehee)
Originally Posted by ellepixie
I love that thread lmao!

People are stupid tho.
Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
- don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.
www.lifestarbeauty.com
Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


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