OT (Sort of but not really): Things are only as true as you believe them to be!

I was thinkin about all the hang ups I had and thinking that those reasons would be the reasons I wouldn't find success in certain areas. For example, I always thought that me not being a size 4 with a Big @$$ was gonna hinder me from being able to date. And while I had this hang up, I didn't get dates. One day my brother told me "First of all you aren't even as big as you think you are in your head and secondly, even if you WERE bigger, there are dudes out there that don't give a sh*t." Once I started NOT listening to the media or even other negative ppl (yes even in my family) I haven't had a problem dating at all. In fact I was a habitual dater until I got into my relationship.

I think from my experience with that, going natural wasn't an issue for me. Some guys maybe found it unattractive but my dating didn't stop because I had a fro. In fact that's when I met the man I love today and he loves my hair. In fact this morning he threatened to smack me if I straightened it (it was a joke, he'd never hit me and if he did I have a brother and an crazy father that would kick his ass after I chopped his fingers off).

Ok another thing. I stopped listening to all this junk about a down economy and down employment. I'm not sayin the numbers are wrong, but I don't let them have an effect on me. I was told to be happy with the job I had even tho I absolutely HATED it because quitting right now wouldn't be wise with the rise of unemployment. I quit that sh*tty @$$ job and I ended up getting another job making more than I had before in a down economy. AND let me add for those of you who missed the thread... I rocked my natural fro to the interview despite ppl sayin natural hair aint professional.

If the economy is soooo bad how come Apple got a frickin waiting list for ppl to get a $400 iPhone? I'm just sayin.

Have there been stats and numbers or even ideologies that appeared to be true or factual that you defied with success?
Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
- don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.
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I guess mine had to be with completing and paying for college.

My first two years of college I attended a community college so the tuition was fairly cheap but at the time expense for me (6K per year) and I was making prob $7 bucks an hour working part-time. But I was determined to pay for school without taking out any loans. EVERYONE I spoke to about it was totally against the idea of me "working & paying" for school, they told me that it would hinder my school work and I wouldn't be able to do it, too much stress...blah blah blah. Total BS, yeah that was probably the hardest two years of my college life because I didn't have a car, and usually didnt have enough money to even take the bus so I literally walked from my house, to school, then to work and I was often left with $10 per week for lunch which equals out to $2 dollars a day for the work week. But you know what? I made it happen, I graduated according to schedule with a 3.48gpa, no student loans, and 15lbs lighter..lol

I'm so happy I went with my intuition and stuck it out....now, getting my BA degree was a different story... smh...I fell into the hype of "student loan" hype and wish I hadn't.
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
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Last edited by Nicky791; 07-27-2010 at 09:23 AM.
I feel like the biggest obstacle that we have to overcome can and is ourselves the majority of the time. When it comes to finding a job in a "down economy", sometimes you just have to step out on faith and believe that you will be taken care of.

I had this job over 4 years ago that I ABSOLUTELY hated!!! I was a shipping clerk in a local warehouse where the higher-ups basically tried to treat the employees like sh*t. For instance, telling you that you HAD to work overtime 1-2 hours before your shift was over. Not listening to how we thought WE should have processed orders (since we were the ones out on the floor), things like that. Well, one day I'd had enough. We wanted to meet with the boss and basically air out our grievances with him. He sent word by a floor manager that he wasn't gonna meet with us and didn't wanna hear what we had to say So, I told him that I was tired of being treated like there weren't better jobs out there and that I was basically a slave and couldn't do any better. So, I walked to the office to sign out. But, to my suprise, my timesheet already had my leaving time on it. I took that as my cue that my time at that hell hole of a job was over.

With all that said, I feel we need to take a chance every once in a while and make a bold decision to do something better for ourselves. You may actually be suprised at the outcome

I guess mine had to be with completing and paying for college.

My first two years of college I attended a community college so the tuition was fairly cheap but at the time expense for me (6K per year) and I was making prob $7 bucks an hour working part-time. But I was determined to pay for school without taking out any loans. EVERYONE I spoke to about it was totally against the idea of me "working & paying" for school, they told me that it would hinder my school work and I wouldn't be able to do it, too much stress...blah blah blah. Total BS, yeah that was probably the hardest two years of my college life because I didn't have a car, and usually didnt have enough money to even take the bus so I literally walked from my house, to school, then to work and I was often left with $10 per week for lunch which equals out to $2 dollars a day for the work week. But you know what? I made it happen, I graduated according to schedule with a 3.48gpa, no student loans, and 15lbs lighter..lol

I'm so happy I went with my intuition and stuck it out....now, getting my BA degree was a different story... smh...
Originally Posted by Nicky791
But you did it!

btw... in your state a CC costs thousands per year? I've never heard of a CC bein more than $1k a year and that's including books and fees.
Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
- don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.
www.lifestarbeauty.com
Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


I guess mine had to be with completing and paying for college.

My first two years of college I attended a community college so the tuition was fairly cheap but at the time expense for me (6K per year) and I was making prob $7 bucks an hour working part-time. But I was determined to pay for school without taking out any loans. EVERYONE I spoke to about it was totally against the idea of me "working & paying" for school, they told me that it would hinder my school work and I wouldn't be able to do it, too much stress...blah blah blah. Total BS, yeah that was probably the hardest two years of my college life because I didn't have a car, and usually didnt have enough money to even take the bus so I literally walked from my house, to school, then to work and I was often left with $10 per week for lunch which equals out to $2 dollars a day for the work week. But you know what? I made it happen, I graduated according to schedule with a 3.48gpa, no student loans, and 15lbs lighter..lol

I'm so happy I went with my intuition and stuck it out....now, getting my BA degree was a different story... smh...
Originally Posted by Nicky791
But you did it!

btw... in your state a CC costs thousands per year? I've never heard of a CC bein more than $1k a year and that's including books and fees.
Originally Posted by Cali Chik
What?! That's insanity! I can't imagine CC being that cheap! I don't even think that exists in NY...lol. I went to a private college for my BA degree and that was 26k a year so 6k didn't sound too bad to me! Lol.
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
Mini Chop: January 16 2010
BC: April 4 2010
Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
I guess mine had to be with completing and paying for college.

My first two years of college I attended a community college so the tuition was fairly cheap but at the time expense for me (6K per year) and I was making prob $7 bucks an hour working part-time. But I was determined to pay for school without taking out any loans. EVERYONE I spoke to about it was totally against the idea of me "working & paying" for school, they told me that it would hinder my school work and I wouldn't be able to do it, too much stress...blah blah blah. Total BS, yeah that was probably the hardest two years of my college life because I didn't have a car, and usually didnt have enough money to even take the bus so I literally walked from my house, to school, then to work and I was often left with $10 per week for lunch which equals out to $2 dollars a day for the work week. But you know what? I made it happen, I graduated according to schedule with a 3.48gpa, no student loans, and 15lbs lighter..lol

I'm so happy I went with my intuition and stuck it out....now, getting my BA degree was a different story... smh...
Originally Posted by Nicky791
But you did it!

btw... in your state a CC costs thousands per year? I've never heard of a CC bein more than $1k a year and that's including books and fees.
Originally Posted by Cali Chik
What?! That's insanity! I can't imagine CC being that cheap! I don't even think that exists in NY...lol. I went to a private college for my BA degree and that was 26k a year so 6k didn't sound too bad to me! Lol.
Originally Posted by Nicky791
when I was in a CC it was $11 a unit then went up to $18/unit and now it's $26/unit. if you got 4 or 5 classes at 3 to 4 units each you only payin a few hundred a semester. Most Community colleges are 2 semesters. so if you spend $500 a semester (at most) you only spend about $1k a year.
Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
- don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.
www.lifestarbeauty.com
Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


Girl I needed this post! I'm about to have a step out on faith moment shortly. My husband is about to join the military, Air Force to be exact. This will entail quitting my job, which will mean losing half our household income. Currently I'm in the rut of working just to be working, because it doesn't make sense to look for a new job since we will be leaving shortly. I am thinking about just staying at home and taking care of my family and maybe taking a lesser paying job more flexible job once the kids get older. Is it doable? Definitely. Am I scared? Shoot, yeah!

I've noticed that when you surround yourself with negativity and naysayers, you tend to become one. My In-Laws are notorious for having the 'woe is me, it's so hard, the world is coming to an end' complex, so my husband has stopped talking to them so much. He feels that we have been blessed beyond belief, and since he can't join their pity party, there's no need to bring himself down by listening to it.
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Cali Chick, I totally hear you about the economy thing. Sure, in some places, it's bad. But overall, I don't think it's as bad as the media makes it out to be. The dorky conspiracy theorist in me thinks the media just wants something else to focus on. They're getting tired of terrorists/Iraq/Afghanistan every day.
Hair type: Mostly 3C, medium porosity to high porosity depending on the day, dense, fluffy, dry, tangly!



I guess mine had to be with completing and paying for college.

My first two years of college I attended a community college so the tuition was fairly cheap but at the time expense for me (6K per year) and I was making prob $7 bucks an hour working part-time. But I was determined to pay for school without taking out any loans. EVERYONE I spoke to about it was totally against the idea of me "working & paying" for school, they told me that it would hinder my school work and I wouldn't be able to do it, too much stress...blah blah blah. Total BS, yeah that was probably the hardest two years of my college life because I didn't have a car, and usually didnt have enough money to even take the bus so I literally walked from my house, to school, then to work and I was often left with $10 per week for lunch which equals out to $2 dollars a day for the work week. But you know what? I made it happen, I graduated according to schedule with a 3.48gpa, no student loans, and 15lbs lighter..lol

I'm so happy I went with my intuition and stuck it out....now, getting my BA degree was a different story... smh...
Originally Posted by Nicky791
But you did it!

btw... in your state a CC costs thousands per year? I've never heard of a CC bein more than $1k a year and that's including books and fees.
Originally Posted by Cali Chik
Community colleges in CA are ridiculously cheap. Like, seriously out of control cheap. I'm from Oakland and my mom teaches at DVC; I now live in VA where in-state tuition for CC is at least $84/unit (that was as of 2007, so I don't know what it is now). As expensive as everything else is, community college in CA is one of the best bargains I've ever seen.
Cali Chick, I totally hear you about the economy thing. Sure, in some places, it's bad. But overall, I don't think it's as bad as the media makes it out to be. The dorky conspiracy theorist in me thinks the media just wants something else to focus on. They're getting tired of terrorists/Iraq/Afghanistan every day.
Originally Posted by nana_banana
Well the economy might be bad it might even be worse than the media says. I honestly have no clue but I can't let the negivity of the world keep me from what I believe that I deserve.
Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
- don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.
www.lifestarbeauty.com
Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


I hear you, I think most stuff is all in your head.

I do the same thing with my body issues, but when I quit worrying about it and just do what I want to do (half the time I won't even go places because I'm like "omg my thighs, or omg my stomach is bloated making me look pregnant" (like it doesn't even make sense my logic on why I can't do stuff)) I feel so much better.
GAH I GET ON MY NERVES
I guess mine had to be with completing and paying for college.

My first two years of college I attended a community college so the tuition was fairly cheap but at the time expense for me (6K per year) and I was making prob $7 bucks an hour working part-time. But I was determined to pay for school without taking out any loans. EVERYONE I spoke to about it was totally against the idea of me "working & paying" for school, they told me that it would hinder my school work and I wouldn't be able to do it, too much stress...blah blah blah. Total BS, yeah that was probably the hardest two years of my college life because I didn't have a car, and usually didnt have enough money to even take the bus so I literally walked from my house, to school, then to work and I was often left with $10 per week for lunch which equals out to $2 dollars a day for the work week. But you know what? I made it happen, I graduated according to schedule with a 3.48gpa, no student loans, and 15lbs lighter..lol

I'm so happy I went with my intuition and stuck it out....now, getting my BA degree was a different story... smh...I fell into the hype of "student loan" hype and wish I hadn't.
Originally Posted by Nicky791
That's an amazing story! Good for you. I wish I was able to pay for my schooling without loans but I had too. I went to community college my first 2 years and tuition was 2000 a semester plus books. I got a small scholarship but I took out mostly loans and used my refund to live off of for the semester. My sister went to a private college first two years and a year it is over 20,000. My mom had tooken them out in her own name but my sister hasn't taken out any loans in her name which has placed a burden of debt on my mom. That's why I took out my own loans for community college. Now I'm going to a really good state university for my next 2 years of undergrad but I'll still need loans.

Anyway on to the topic, I wasn't the best student in highschool so I didn't get into the colleges I wanted to initially. I thought I was never gonna make it. In highschool people make it seem like its the most defining time of your life and whatever happens there that's gonna effect the rest of your life. But in college I turned it around and have been making really good grades. I realized I wasn't using my potential, and perhaps I wasn't challenged enough in highschool. I've been on the deans list all 4 semesters and hope to continue to be on it the next 4 or 5 semesters.
This might sound sort of silly, but...

I used to have really bad social anxiety. I was always afraid people were annoyed by me or people thought I was weird, or whatever.

I've recently had a shift in my thinking. I'm not the weird, annoying one. Everyone else is!

It sounds silly, but it has really worked. I just say to myself that I'm a lovely person who has lots of interesting things to say and that people enjoy my company.

I've also been working at this job for almost a year. It's a store and we're encouraged to suggestive sell, upsell, offer great customer service, etc. Basically act like we're on commission but we're not (lol). Talking and approaching random customers has really helped me. I'm one of the best selling salespeople. If I can go up to a stranger and get them buy $100 worth of clothes they don't need, I think I can easily talk to people in my everyday life.
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This might sound sort of silly, but...

I used to have really bad social anxiety. I was always afraid people were annoyed by me or people thought I was weird, or whatever.

I've recently had a shift in my thinking. I'm not the weird, annoying one. Everyone else is!

It sounds silly, but it has really worked. I just say to myself that I'm a lovely person who has lots of interesting things to say and that people enjoy my company.

I've also been working at this job for almost a year. It's a store and we're encouraged to suggestive sell, upsell, offer great customer service, etc. Basically act like we're on commission but we're not (lol). Talking and approaching random customers has really helped me. I'm one of the best selling salespeople. If I can go up to a stranger and get them buy $100 worth of clothes they don't need, I think I can easily talk to people in my everyday life.
Originally Posted by nana_banana

YAY!! I love good stories!!

someone else post with awesomeness upliftingness stories to help me want to improve myself!
Hair type: Mostly 3C, medium porosity to high porosity depending on the day, dense, fluffy, dry, tangly!



Well the economy might be bad it might even be worse than the media says. I honestly have no clue but I can't let the negivity of the world keep me from what I believe that I deserve.
Originally Posted by Cali Chik
This reminds me of something one of the survivors of that show "I Survived...." on the Bio Channel said the other night:

An obstacle is something you see when you lose sight of your goal.
When your try to get somewhere in life, you shouldn't and can't focus on the things that get in your way. You can't live your life paralyzed by the "what ifs".
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Last edited by afrosheenqueen; 07-27-2010 at 11:57 AM.
Well the economy might be bad it might even be worse than the media says. I honestly have no clue but I can't let the negivity of the world keep me from what I believe that I deserve.
Originally Posted by Cali Chik
This reminds me of something one of the survivors of that show "I Survived...." on the Bio Channel said the other night:

An obstacle is something you see when you lose sight of your goal.
When your try to get somewhere in life, you shouldn't and can't focus on the things that get in your way. You can't live your life paralyzed by the "what ifs".
Originally Posted by afrosheenqueen
I love it! That's an excellent quote.
Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
- don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.
www.lifestarbeauty.com
Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


Ok! I quit a job with a company that I had been at for 22 years. I had been promoted about 15/16 times with the last promotion to manager. The company was/is great and afforded me the opportunity to travel around the world to almost all of the sites (China, Australia, Brazil, Italy, Mexico, England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and 5 in the US). However, people leave people. I hated working for the boss that I had. I held the job for 3 years and it was 3 of the longest years of my life. I had no life, working week-ends, late nights, on call 24/7. After much prayer, my husband and I decided that it was no longer worth my health and mental well being so I dusted off the resume and sent it out. Yep! In this economy! Well, I got a hit that required relevant references so I call a Non-Profit that I had volunteered for years ago (relevant) and to my amazement, THEY offered me a job too! I accepted the NP position as Director of Resource Development, turned in my resignation and have never been happier! God is GOOD! In God's economy you can do anything!
Ok! I quit a job with a company that I had been at for 22 years. I had been promoted about 15/16 times with the last promotion to manager. The company was/is great and afforded me the opportunity to travel around the world to almost all of the sites (China, Australia, Brazil, Italy, Mexico, England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and 5 in the US). However, people leave people. I hated working for the boss that I had. I held the job for 3 years and it was 3 of the longest years of my life. I had no life, working week-ends, late nights, on call 24/7. After much prayer, my husband and I decided that it was no longer worth my health and mental well being so I dusted off the resume and sent it out. Yep! In this economy! Well, I got a hit that required relevant references so I call a Non-Profit that I had volunteered for years ago (relevant) and to my amazement, THEY offered me a job too! I accepted the NP position as Director of Resource Development, turned in my resignation and have never been happier! God is GOOD! In God's economy you can do anything!
Originally Posted by Naturalfinally
WOW that's amazing! Good sh*t!
Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
- don't let everybody elses long straight weave bum you out. don't let other people's big/long natural hair bum you out either. embrace what you have and rock it with confidence, because that's the only way you'll be happy. and whether you realize it or not you are somebody's influence. show them what it truly means to be confident.
www.lifestarbeauty.com
Hate me? Love me? then Follow me! www.twitter.com/vidastarr


I think it goes back to the idea that we each have the power to create our own universe. Employment is a popular theme in the thread and I can definitely relate!

Last year I had a job that I hated even though I was making the a pretty good salary. I believed that the economy was bad, like others, but didn't care. I decided that I could use an extended vacation anyhow. I quit and took off 6 months without applying for a single job. Instead, I learned to cook, I chopped off my hair, I went to Egypt, I partied in Miami, I read tons of books, and some days I simply sat in front of the tv and watched marathons of my favorite shows. In January I decided that I wanted to work part-time and within two weeks I got a part-time job. Just last month I started to think that maybe a full-time schedule would be do-able and someone CALLED me (I didn't even apply for the job, someone else gave them my resume) and offered me a position!

So yeah, I completely believe in the power in my beliefs
Fotki

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