Justifiable Homicide

As a PP said, if the father didn't want to deal with his daughter's hair that badly, he could have done buns, twists or braids that didn't require a lot of maintenance. Even braid extensions would have been preferable to him slapping a relaxer. This was done out of spite and shows a lack of respect.

Mom can do the above styles while the relaxer grows out, making sure to keep the hair moisturized. Not much else I can suggest.
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OMG that is awful! The bad thing is.. what can you do? Yeah you're pissed but now what? Sucks.

I worry about this (granted I don't have children now) but when I do and people want to keep them for a bit.. this is my exact concern.. that they'll try to do something unacceptable to their hair. People were always telling me it was an irrational concern. But.. then I read this and... I just don't even know.

All that hair is going to take FOREVER to grow out.

I'm sorry it happened.
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WoooooooW!!!

The nerve of him.
I wonder what he brainwashed his daughter's head with when he told her he was straightening her hair??
"Your hair will be beautiful, straight and long like a little princess!"

Children are so impressionable at that age. And I'm sure she'll get so many compliments at school and relatives, (probably more than when it was curly) only because her hair is different from what they've seen. She may not want to go back to her natural hair with so much new and nice compliments.

Either way, she is adorable. But, he had NO RIGHT to do what he did.

Only thing I could suggest for transitioning is braid and twist styles.

...can't believe it.
Originally Posted by .patience.
My thoughts exactly.
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Children are so impressionable at that age. And I'm sure she'll get so many compliments at school and relatives, (probably more than when it was curly) only because her hair is different from what they've seen. She may not want to go back to her natural hair with so much new and nice compliments.
The way to handle that is to keep a set of braids or twists in her hair at all times and stick to a trimming schedule as she grows out her hair. This way what the other kids will be marveling about is the length of her hair, not the fact that it's straight.

My cousin can't stand doing her kids' hair, so she has a standing appointment with a local teenager to braid her daughters' hair every 2 or 3 weeks or so. The mom is freed from the stress of doing hair everyday, the kid's have 'get up & go' hair for a little while, & the teenager has some extra money for her trouble. Everybody wins.

If nothing else, I'd make sure that the next time (if there's a next time ) the daughter spends time with her father, she has a protective style in her head, the smaller the braids are & more intricate the patterns, the better.
See, this right there would've been validation for me to go down there and kick some a**. And with him being a "professional", I wonder how many other women he's convinced to relax their hair because it's "too much to take care of".

That's a load of b.s.

She's such a cutie, and like someone said, I also wonder how she'll process the comments/compliments she may receive now. Most of us here have gotten them, but children sometimes internalize them a bit differently.

I would keep her hair hydrated, do weekly treatments and just trim monthly until it's grown out. Keeping her hair in protective styles will help in that regard, although I'm sure someone already mentioned this.

I wish someone would do that to my hypothetical child!
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OMGGGG like u said its justifiable homicide...I mean this has to be in the law books somewhere....I would for sure have to murrrdaaaa a mofo over something like this urghhhh
There would be "smoke in the city" on that day!!

I seriously would beat his a**, no... seriously.

I am more concerned about the little girl's perception of beauty now. I am thinking she a.) will now associate her natural hair as being so difficult that daddy had to throw a relaxer in there and b.) how "pretty" she is now with her long flowing hair ( because you know some ig'nant folks are probably going on and on about how cute she is now). It will probably take a lot of talking to her about what happens when she has to transition out of the relaxer.

If nothing else, I'd make sure that the next time (if there's a next time ) the daughter spends time with her father, she has a protective style in her head, the smaller the braids are & more intricate the patterns, the better.
Originally Posted by CurlyCurlies
I was wondering what the mother was going to do about next summer. Braids would seem like the answer.
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@ellepixie that is what I said.

K didn't want to let B go down there to her father's house because K and her ex have been arguing a lot lately and he is the spiteful type. But K's family told her she was being ridiculous and that K shouldn't put there daughter in the middle.

I know he did it just to be a jerk. Don't let me catch him in Arizona next time I go bcuz he will catch a hot one...
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals
Girl...I wish a mofo would perm a child of mine's hair during a visit....I'd be calling CPS myself and getting a lawyer to revoke visitation and arrange for supervised visits only since obviously you can't be trusted not to put caustic chemicals in your child's head!
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So I guess ish like this is why she divorced brotha man...?

Oh, oh and...he went to cosmetology school and still didn't know what to do with a child's hair?
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Last edited by Phoenix; 07-28-2010 at 05:06 PM.
It's fine if she transitions back but what happens next year when B goes back for the summer?

I don't know if it's possible, but can she take him to court to make sure he won't relax B's hair again and if he does, there'll be consequences? I know that might seem over the top but what else can the mother do? I think there's a good change if she doesn't do something he will do it again next year.
Originally Posted by newbraider
This exactly what K said to me. I am trying to just be positive and focus on hair health, but it would be just like him to do that. She is going to take it one day at at time, but I doubt a judge will grant her a "do not perm" order because it isn't illegal just stupid.

This is exactly why my daughter's hair will be in a protective style, preferably conrows, if she's out of my sight for more than a day! I don't want relatives or other parents getting bright ideas ...including straightening with hot combs, blow-dyers, and flat-irons. Permies just don't understand *in Will Smith voice*
Originally Posted by lisa6
I did the same thing when my daughter was little only because she had long thick hair like B and everyone was afraid of it. Very smart move.

I wonder what he brainwashed his daughter's head with when he told her he was straightening her hair??
"Your hair will be beautiful, straight and long like a little princess!"
Originally Posted by .patience.
If I didn't know better I would have sworn you knew Miguel (that is the @$$hole's name, he doesn't deserve anonymity)
All B kept saying was "isn't my hair pretty now, Mommy?" K told her "yes it was and it was beautiful before".
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I worry about this (granted I don't have children now) but when I do and people want to keep them for a bit.. this is my exact concern.. that they'll try to do something unacceptable to their hair. People were always telling me it was an irrational concern.
Originally Posted by Naya
This is not an irrational concern as you can see what happened to B. When I was little I was also natural and my step mom did not know how to comb hair period let alone natural hair. She sent me off to the shop to get a perm. I swam all summer long and suffered horrible breakage. When I returned home my mom was shocked and had to cut me down to a twa. I didn't mind but I remember her crying.
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The way to handle that is to keep a set of braids or twists in her hair at all times and stick to a trimming schedule as she grows out her hair. This way what the other kids will be marveling about is the length of her hair, not the fact that it's straight.

My cousin can't stand doing her kids' hair, so she has a standing appointment with a local teenager to braid her daughters' hair every 2 or 3 weeks or so. The mom is freed from the stress of doing hair everyday, the kid's have 'get up & go' hair for a little while, & the teenager has some extra money for her trouble. Everybody wins.

If nothing else, I'd make sure that the next time (if there's a next time ) the daughter spends time with her father, she has a protective style in her head, the smaller the braids are & more intricate the patterns, the better.
Originally Posted by CurlyCurlies
Great advice, I will pass it along to K.
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So I guess ish like this is why she divorced brotha man...?

Oh, oh and...he went to cosmetology school and still didn't know what to do with a child's hair?
Originally Posted by Phoenix
Not that it makes a difference but he is Cuban or Puerto Rican. And yes it was his malicious behavior and lies that lead to the destruction of their marriage. Very sad to see my friend pack up the kids and move out of her beautiful 4 bedroom house in AZ back to her father's 2 bedroom apartment in CA.

K is a loving trusting person who really believes in the best in people. So when she said she had a feeling that he was going to "do something" out of spite to piss her off; I told her to listen to her gut. Her family told her she was being ridiculous.

Ladies please trust your instincts, even paranoids are right some of the time!

Of course he knew how to do the girls hair. He has combed it before and he would do K's hair and eyebrows when they were married. I believe he probably put the relaxer in himself bcuz he is a cheap @$$ and a salon would have charged $60 easy to perm her hair.
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And the truth finally came out:

B's older brother told K the whole story: Miguel's "friend" Miss Paris relaxed B's hair when she was doing her own two daughter's hair. Miguel told B it was a "special cream to make her hair flat iron better" but a secret so don't tell mommy.

He also waxed her eyebrows. SHE IS 6 YEARS OLD. Parent of the effin year. K called her lawyer today and is going to pursue this and other issues.
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And the truth finally came out:

B's older brother told K the whole story: Miguel's "friend" Miss Paris relaxed B's hair when she was doing her own two daughter's hair. Miguel told B it was a "special cream to make her hair flat iron better" but a secret so don't tell mommy.

He also waxed her eyebrows. SHE IS 6 YEARS OLD. Parent of the effin year. K called her lawyer today and is going to pursue this and other issues.
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals
Thank GOODNESS. I didn't want to say anything and be seen as melodramatic, but....grown ass women stop perming their hair because of health hazards--how in the hell are you going to do something like that to a child?!? All I can think of is how much more vulnerable kids are to lead paint compared to adults, same danger applies to all the shiz they put in relaxers. Baby girl is 6 years old!
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals

that hurt my feelings


did she really put a perm in her hair? cause it only says conditioner? or is that code for something?
No it was a joke it was only conditioner. It really cheered me up so I thought I would share
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