Justifiable Homicide

***Warning this is a rant that I just had to get off my chest***

One of my childhood best friends K has been divorced for four years. She has recently decided to go natural because her 6 year old daughter B (pictured below) was wondering why mommy didn't like her hair (K relaxes her hair and wears weaves).

Anywho, this summer B and her long thick beautiful virgin 4A hair, went to visit her father for summer vacation as she has done for the last 3 years. However this time when B returned back home K discovered that B's father had relaxed B's hair!

K called her ex and he told her that it was just a flat iron. She knew it was a lie but went home and washed her hair to be sure. Liar! Her hair was stick straight with not even a subtle wave. K's ex went to cosmetology school and knows how to do hair, he used to do K's hair when they were married. He finally fessed up that B's hair was a lot of work and he didn't have the time to keep doing it.

What an @$$hole! I told him that if she killed him I would provide the alibi.
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Last Relaxer Feb 2008 - Fully Natural March 2009

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oooooo emmmm geeee! i'd be pissed
LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice
***Warning this is a rant that I just had to get off my chest***

One of my childhood best friends K has been divorced for four years. She has recently decided to go natural because her 6 year old daughter B (pictured below) was wondering why mommy didn't like her hair (K relaxes her hair and wears weaves).

Anywho, this summer B and her long thick beautiful virgin 4A hair, went to visit her father for summer vacation as she has done for the last 3 years. However this time when B returned back home K discovered that B's father had relaxed B's hair!

K called her ex and he told her that it was just a flat iron. She knew it was a lie but went home and washed her hair to be sure. Liar! Her hair was stick straight with not even a subtle wave. K's ex went to cosmetology school and knows how to do hair, he used to do K's hair when they were married. He finally fessed up that B's hair was a lot of work and he didn't have the time to keep doing it.

What an @$$hole! I told him that if she killed him I would provide the alibi.
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals
OOh HELL TO THE MUTHA F****N NO! I was scared to open this thread but I the title is PERFECT. Justifiable homicide indeed. I wish somebody would have the unmitigated gaul, the AUDASITY, to relax my child's hair without my damn permission! OOOOOOO
That is terrible... that little girl is to young for her father to put a relaxer in her hair. Shame on him
I'm shocked!! I can't believe he would do that without letting the mother know!
Hair type: Mostly 3C, medium porosity to high porosity depending on the day, dense, fluffy, dry, tangly!



I wish somebody would have the unmitigated gaul, the AUDASITY, to relax my child's hair without my damn permission! OOOOOOO
Originally Posted by CocoT
And then lie about and say it was a flat iron! He knew he was wrong for doing it so he tried to cover it up with a lie.
Last Relaxer Feb 2008 - Fully Natural March 2009

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That was just wrong! If he's a hair dresser then he knows that ponytails, braids, twists, cornrows are all options that would have held up for weeks without a lot of hassel. He was being a butt. I don't know what the mother can do now other then grow it out. There aught to be a law against this but breaking out the vaseline would do in this instance.
OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH. See no, we would have been fighting.

I too was afraid to open the thread, but REALLY. That's gonna take FOREVER to grow out! Ugh.
BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
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@ellepixie that is what I said.

K didn't want to let B go down there to her father's house because K and her ex have been arguing a lot lately and he is the spiteful type. But K's family told her she was being ridiculous and that K shouldn't put there daughter in the middle.

I know he did it just to be a jerk. Don't let me catch him in Arizona next time I go bcuz he will catch a hot one...
Last Relaxer Feb 2008 - Fully Natural March 2009

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@ellepixie that is what I said.

K didn't want to let B go down there to her father's house because K and her ex have been arguing a lot lately and he is the spiteful type. But K's family told her she was being ridiculous and that K shouldn't put there daughter in the middle.

I know he did it just to be a jerk. Don't let me catch him in Arizona next time I go bcuz he will catch a hot one...
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals
Yea...I don't like getting in the middle of relationship beef, but I would have called him myself and ripped him a new one.
BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
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@ellepixie that is what I said.

K didn't want to let B go down there to her father's house because K and her ex have been arguing a lot lately and he is the spiteful type. But K's family told her she was being ridiculous and that K shouldn't put there daughter in the middle.

I know he did it just to be a jerk. Don't let me catch him in Arizona next time I go bcuz he will catch a hot one...
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals
See, he just did that to get back @ her mother b/c he was trying to be funny. That was a punk @$$ move on his part. I cannot stand it when ppl use children like pawns in their little relationship issues. That is all he did in this case.
I am over my anger now and trying to be positive. I have told her to deep condition the hair regularly keep it moisturized and avoid the heat. I didn't have the heart yet to tell her about possible breakage...
Last Relaxer Feb 2008 - Fully Natural March 2009

Blog:http://derbycitynaturals.wordpress.com
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I am over my anger now and trying to be positive. I have told her to deep condition the hair regularly keep it moisturized and avoid the heat. I didn't have the heart yet to tell her about possible breakage...
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals
Honestly since it's her first relaxer she will most likely be okay as long as he didn't over process. Is she going to transition her now, or will she keep relaxing/straighting it?
BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
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K said that she was just going to grow it out.

This is how I transitioned myself the last two times so I am familiar with this method. However after about six months or so my hair began to break at the line of demarcation. It wasn't a big deal to me because I getting it trimmed regularly so no one could really tell but I think if my hair were longer like B's it would be noticeable.

Any tips you ladies can provide on making a healthy low stress transition will be appreciated.
Last Relaxer Feb 2008 - Fully Natural March 2009

Blog:http://derbycitynaturals.wordpress.com
FB:www.facebook.com/DerbyCityNaturals
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K said that she was just going to grow it out.

This is how I transitioned myself the last two times so I am familiar with this method. However after about six months or so my hair began to break at the line of demarcation. It wasn't a big deal to me because I getting it trimmed regularly so no one could really tell but I think if my hair were longer like B's it would be noticeable.

Any tips you ladies can provide on making a healthy low stress transition will be appreciated.
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals
Since her hair is so long she may be able to do pretty transitioning styles like twists, braids, etc.

That dude is a jerk for REAL though...straightening that poor child's hair just to make the mother mad. Just think if she had to BC and kids made fun of her for having short hair...I just can't. I'm so mad!
BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
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Grand Duchess Fierce Freckles, Mistress of the Mighty Snap and Doyenne of the Potent Products Pavane in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
:a ngry8::an gry4:

Sums up how I feel ^^^

She is such a doll, I cant believe he had the audacity to do that! I never had a relaxer, so I wish I had advice on how to care for her hair. I would ask the transition forum here.
APL BSL MBL WL HL TBL | porous, fine/medium strands, medium density
My Fotki!
Below: Typical PS bun
I know where to hide the body...

He finally fessed up that B's hair was a lot of work and he didn't have the time to keep doing it.
Originally Posted by DerbyCityNaturals
This is exactly why my daughter's hair will be in a protective style, preferably conrows, if she's out of my sight for more than a day! I don't want relatives or other parents getting bright ideas ...including straightening with hot combs, blow-dyers, and flat-irons. Permies just don't understand *in Will Smith voice*

ETA: As a permie, I handled my hair with care, but not everyone does.

4a fine, thin, high porosity
Poo: SM Y&B, BT TT
C: HE Reconditioning, Suave Almond and Shea
DC: CJ CR, CJ RM
LI: JC DT
Curl Cream: RN BWCC, CJ CCCC
Gel: CJ AFG
Refresher: SM Thickening Mist, SM Y&A Milk, CJ CIAB
Moisturizer: CJ SL, SM CES

Last edited by lisa6; 07-28-2010 at 01:46 AM.
It's fine if she transitions back but what happens next year when B goes back for the summer?

I don't know if it's possible, but can she take him to court to make sure he won't relax B's hair again and if he does, there'll be consequences? I know that might seem over the top but what else can the mother do? I think there's a good change if she doesn't do something he will do it again next year.
Hair type - 4b :: Current Length - Zilch inches
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WoooooooW!!!

The nerve of him.
I wonder what he brainwashed his daughter's head with when he told her he was straightening her hair??
"Your hair will be beautiful, straight and long like a little princess!"

Children are so impressionable at that age. And I'm sure she'll get so many compliments at school and relatives, (probably more than when it was curly) only because her hair is different from what they've seen. She may not want to go back to her natural hair with so much new and nice compliments.

Either way, she is adorable. But, he had NO RIGHT to do what he did.

Only thing I could suggest for transitioning is braid and twist styles.

...can't believe it.


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