You mentioned that you picked your hair out in the morning - is this what you do each day? If so I would strongly advise against picking your hair out daily, that is way too much manipulation for fragile 4b strands. It could be part of why you are experiencing breakage
Secondly, you mentioned that you wear puffs, is this the only hair style you wear? Is your hair always worn out meaning that you never wear two strand twists or braids/buns etc? Most 4bs wear some sort of style that protects the ends of their hair or at least helps them avoid manipulating their hair daily and keep moisture in their hair. Hair worn out is open to damage from the elements and could explain the dryness you are experiencing.
With products - your selections are alien to me as a 4b. My main concern is moisture, moisture retention and strengthening i.e balancing protein and moisture. I don't tend to use custards, gels or any curl definers because my hair is not traditionally curly. There is nothing bigger than a penspring/coffee stirrer, o shapes in my head and it follows an irregular pattern. It does not clump in any uniform way. The strands do their own thing for the most part.
- Oil Rinse
(to combat dryness) Hairveda Cocasta Shikakai oil.
- Deep Conditioner
(either Crown Pride Tucuma mask for moisture or Hairveda Methi Sativa Step 1 for protein/strengthening)
- Leave in
- something I think I can do without because they do little for me but I have used Sheamoisture shea butter leave in (best I've used) Darcy's Peach Kernal (better for refreshing old dry twists than on wash day/wet hair) and Curl Junkie Beauticurls leave-in (again not great for me)
- Qhemet Biologics Burdock Root Cream. It's creamy based and I find it moisturises my hair a bit longer than leave-ins and sprays.
- Hairveda Cocasta Shikaikai oil - I use oil to seal the moisture into my hair as the last step in my routine. It's quite a thick oil. The purpose is to trap moisture in the hair and protect the hair from the elements.
I damp style now since wet hair is much weaker and for me harder to style than damp hair. I see people say they wet style and some say they wait until their hair is 80% dry.
After wash day I will spritz my hair throughout the week when I need moisture with a moisture spray and seal with the same oil. Some people make their own spritzes with plain or distilled water, an oil of their choice and glycerin (depending on climate) while some people buy them. I use Crown Pride Tucuma spray but those in the US seem to like Oyin Handmade's sprays among others. For 4bs, sprays refresh and add moisture to the hair between washing. I try to shampoo once a month or as needed to remove product build up with shampoo. it's usually a clarifying one. I don't shampoo weekly because it is very very drying. I also live in a hard water area which can affect your hair.
I tend to assess what my hair wants on wash day now rather than following a rigid routine.
Here is a link to a woman who writes informative articles on hair. It might help you to understand what you could need for your hair. Hair Regimen Building for Newbies - Associated Content from Yahoo! - associatedcontent.com
Her info is geared towards those who relax but can be applied to anyone regardless of hair/product choices (you can still use curly girl/natural products and ignore her lists). I would also advise that you check out her protein/moisture article The Fine Art of Protein and Moisture Balancing for Black Hair Care - Associated Content from Yahoo! - associatedcontent.com
. Good luck.