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Old 05-10-2011, 07:45 AM   #21
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The ladies who posted on this thread may not be suffering from depression. But others who read these threads may be deeply hurt by your comments
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Old 05-10-2011, 08:29 AM   #22
 
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No I am not a professional counsellor.

I am a lawyer and I run a non profit organisation which offers counselling.

I have no need to lie about anything.

The people I know who are depressed about their hair are depressed because of the comments made by others.

I posted a whole thread about one girl this happened to in the Hall of Shame section
First, I have no clue how to multiquote on my phone so bear wth me.

I wasn't saying you are a liar but I do believe there are inaccuracies. And since you're not a counselor or therapist by trade, I feel better. It would probably best serve your clients to get down to the root of their depression (low self esteem, body dysmorphia, self hate, etc) than just to treat the symptoms of it (feeling some kind of way about their hair because of a comment someone made).

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Old 05-10-2011, 08:43 AM   #23
 
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This is not NP so I don't understand where NP comes into the discussion.

If I was on NP and I saw someone say what you said I would have said exactly the same thing and if they wanted to kick me out over it - so be it.
Np comes into the discussion as a huge possibility for why the 4b board is quiet. I'm saying more 4b's might be over there because that site has more people claiming 4b and more info about that hair type instead of imagining that all the 4b's are just in lurk mode in fear that someone will say something positive about their natural hair.

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Old 05-10-2011, 08:58 AM   #24
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No I am not a professional counsellor.

I am a lawyer and I run a non profit organisation which offers counselling.

I have no need to lie about anything.

The people I know who are depressed about their hair are depressed because of the comments made by others.

I posted a whole thread about one girl this happened to in the Hall of Shame section
First, I have no clue how to multiquote on my phone so bear wth me.

I wasn't saying you are a liar but I do believe there are inaccuracies. And since you're not a counselor or therapist by trade, I feel better. It would probably best serve your clients to get down to the root of their depression (low self esteem, body dysmorphia, self hate, etc) than just to treat the symptoms of it (feeling some kind of way about their hair because of a comment someone made).

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You may not have actually said that I'm a liar but in both of your posts you implied that I was lying. You used the word 'shenanigan' so I'm sure that you are aware of it's meaning.

Where were the inaccuracies in my initial post. I do know of ladies who suffer from depression because of their hair. The fact that you find it 'hard to believe' does not make it untrue.

I'm not sure why you feel better that I am not a therapist by trade.

I may not be a professional counsellor but I am an extremely caring and compassionate person which is why so many people come to me with their issues and problems. They know that I will always be there to listen to them, advise them, lift them up and encourage them.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:04 AM   #25
 
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How in the hayle does ACV loosen curl pattern? At best I would think that its low pH helps to close your cuticle, therefore making your strand smoother, which in turn makes your hair shinier and easier to detangle (ie, hair strands aren't catching on each other as much)...oh but I guess that doesn't equate to "good hair," so that's not as appealing. My bad.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:07 AM   #26
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This is not NP so I don't understand where NP comes into the discussion.

If I was on NP and I saw someone say what you said I would have said exactly the same thing and if they wanted to kick me out over it - so be it.
Np comes into the discussion as a huge possibility for why the 4b board is quiet. I'm saying more 4b's might be over there because that site has more people claiming 4b and more info about that hair type instead of imagining that all the 4b's are just in lurk mode in fear that someone will say something positive about their natural hair.

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Well that wasn't the impression I got from the following thread: http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlta...3cs-above.html
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:13 AM   #27
 
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I'm sorry but that thread was balderdash. No one should feel like they can't go on a board because they don't have that "type" of hair. I go wherever I want on NC. Can't stop won't stop! I just like hair. I think that thread revealed a lot of insecurities.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:17 AM   #28
 
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No I am not a professional counsellor.

I am a lawyer and I run a non profit organisation which offers counselling.

I have no need to lie about anything.

The people I know who are depressed about their hair are depressed because of the comments made by others.

I posted a whole thread about one girl this happened to in the Hall of Shame section
First, I have no clue how to multiquote on my phone so bear wth me.

I wasn't saying you are a liar but I do believe there are inaccuracies. And since you're not a counselor or therapist by trade, I feel better. It would probably best serve your clients to get down to the root of their depression (low self esteem, body dysmorphia, self hate, etc) than just to treat the symptoms of it (feeling some kind of way about their hair because of a comment someone made).

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You may not have actually said that I'm a liar but in both of your posts you implied that I was lying. You used the word 'shenanigan' so I'm sure that you are aware of it's meaning.

Where were the inaccuracies in my initial post. I do know of ladies who suffer from depression because of their hair. The fact that you find it 'hard to believe' does not make it untrue.

I'm not sure why you feel better that I am not a therapist by trade.

I may not be a professional counsellor but I am an extremely caring and compassionate person which is why so many people come to me with their issues and problems. They know that I will always be there to listen to them, advise them, lift them up and encourage them.
Then stop. You have no busines counseling someone in a professional setting. You are not helping or lifting up anyone by alowing them to believe that the only reason they are depressed of their hair.

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Old 05-10-2011, 09:18 AM   #29
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I agree with the following comment about ACV:

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its low pH helps to close your cuticle, therefore making your strand smoother, which in turn makes your hair shinier and easier to detangle (ie, hair strands aren't catching on each other as much)
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:30 AM   #30
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First, I have no clue how to multiquote on my phone so bear wth me.

I wasn't saying you are a liar but I do believe there are inaccuracies. And since you're not a counselor or therapist by trade, I feel better. It would probably best serve your clients to get down to the root of their depression (low self esteem, body dysmorphia, self hate, etc) than just to treat the symptoms of it (feeling some kind of way about their hair because of a comment someone made).

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You may not have actually said that I'm a liar but in both of your posts you implied that I was lying. You used the word 'shenanigan' so I'm sure that you are aware of it's meaning.

Where were the inaccuracies in my initial post. I do know of ladies who suffer from depression because of their hair. The fact that you find it 'hard to believe' does not make it untrue.

I'm not sure why you feel better that I am not a therapist by trade.

I may not be a professional counsellor but I am an extremely caring and compassionate person which is why so many people come to me with their issues and problems. They know that I will always be there to listen to them, advise them, lift them up and encourage them.
Then stop. You have no busines counseling someone in a professional setting. You are not helping or lifting up anyone by alowing them to believe that the only reason they are depressed of their hair.

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I told you that I listened to them, advised them, lifted them up and encouraged them. I did not tell you that I counselled anyone in a professional setting.

I did not tell you that I diagnosed their depression.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:58 AM   #31
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Then stop. You have no busines counseling someone in a professional setting. You are not helping or lifting up anyone by alowing them to believe that the only reason they are depressed of their hair.

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I just wanted to add that the above quote is unnecessarily Rude!!!!!
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:01 AM   #32
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I'm sorry but that thread was balderdash. No one should feel like they can't go on a board because they don't have that "type" of hair. I go wherever I want on NC. Can't stop won't stop! I just like hair. I think that thread revealed a lot of insecurities.
I registered just to respond to that thread to try and encourage people not to feel alienated. However, after the rudeness that I was subjected to today I can understand why others might have felt alienated.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:04 AM   #33
 
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if you did not diagnose their depression then you can not say that they are depressed because of their hair. which is why i said what i said in the beginning. your initial comment, IMO, implied that you were either a professional counselor or you were advising friends who were depressed. which is why i called shenanigans because i know no real counselor would say that and nobody who is clinically depressed is clinically depressed just because they're naturally a 4b. and if your people are claiming that, then i call shenanigans on them too. SHENANIGANS!

nobody can make you feel bad about anything unless you already feel bad about it. if i want to backstroke in a vat of relaxer can't nobody on this earth make me feel bad for that because i wanted to do it. nobody with a healthy sense of self is going to give a crap what somebody on a hair board says about their hair. *insert kat williams self esteem quote here*

deuces. its donut time.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:10 AM   #34
 
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I'm sorry but that thread was balderdash. No one should feel like they can't go on a board because they don't have that "type" of hair. I go wherever I want on NC. Can't stop won't stop! I just like hair. I think that thread revealed a lot of insecurities.
I registered just to respond to that thread to try and encourage people not to feel alienated. However, after the rudeness that I was subjected to today I can understand why others might have felt alienated.
I'm surprised that you think the comments are rude. You said that you have counseled people who are depressed about their hair. Now that sentence would make someone think that you are a counselor of some sort...you also said that you know they are depressed about their hair. Then, you backtracked and said you aren't an actual counselor or therapist, but give advice to people. Those are two completely different things. I give people advice about their hair everyday, but I would never say I counsel them due to the connotations of the word, and I even used to work in a psychology lab. So, you can't really be surprised that someone called "BS" on your statement due to the authoritative tone you had. No one called you any names, and calling "shenanigans" just means that it sounds like you weren't telling the full story (and you weren't).

I've been on this site since I decided to go natural, and I have seen a LOT of rudeness. Like, ridiculous rudeness. But you can't call someone rude because they didn't get on board with your claim and suggest that you may be doing more harm than you think (which could possibly be the case).
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:52 AM   #35
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I'm sorry but that thread was balderdash. No one should feel like they can't go on a board because they don't have that "type" of hair. I go wherever I want on NC. Can't stop won't stop! I just like hair. I think that thread revealed a lot of insecurities.
I registered just to respond to that thread to try and encourage people not to feel alienated. However, after the rudeness that I was subjected to today I can understand why others might have felt alienated.
I'm surprised that you think the comments are rude. You said that you have counseled people who are depressed about their hair. Now that sentence would make someone think that you are a counselor of some sort...you also said that you know they are depressed about their hair. Then, you backtracked and said you aren't an actual counselor or therapist, but give advice to people. Those are two completely different things. I give people advice about their hair everyday, but I would never say I counsel them due to the connotations of the word, and I even used to work in a psychology lab. So, you can't really be surprised that someone called "BS" on your statement due to the authoritative tone you had. No one called you any names, and calling "shenanigans" just means that it sounds like you weren't telling the full story (and you weren't).

I've been on this site since I decided to go natural, and I have seen a LOT of rudeness. Like, ridiculous rudeness. But you can't call someone rude because they didn't get on board with your claim and suggest that you may be doing more harm than you think (which could possibly be the case).
I didn't actually backtrack. I just clarified what I meant when I said that I counselled them. I figured that Subrock misunderstood what I meant when I said that I counselled people. The word counsel is not limited to the pshyciatric profession.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:56 AM   #36
 
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I understand that the word counsel is not limited to professionally licensed therapists and psychiatrists, but it does have a certain connotation, as I stated. Whether you backtracked or not, well, that's a matter of perception. I'm not going to further discuss semantics. Have a nice day.
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Old 05-10-2011, 11:01 AM   #37
 
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Oh dear.....

what does this thread have to do with 4bs not posting and sharing their experiences because they are scared? wth?



i asked an honest question. what is curlaway? I mean I can get that it is supposed to remove curls, but I wanted to know what it is.
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Old 05-10-2011, 11:03 AM   #38
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if you did not diagnose their depression then you can not say that they are depressed because of their hair. which is why i said what i said in the beginning. your initial comment, IMO, implied that you were either a professional counselor or you were advising friends who were depressed. which is why i called shenanigans because i know no real counselor would say that and nobody who is clinically depressed is clinically depressed just because they're naturally a 4b. and if your people are claiming that, then i call shenanigans on them too. SHENANIGANS!

nobody can make you feel bad about anything unless you already feel bad about it. if i want to backstroke in a vat of relaxer can't nobody on this earth make me feel bad for that because i wanted to do it. nobody with a healthy sense of self is going to give a crap what somebody on a hair board says about their hair. *insert kat williams self esteem quote here*

deuces. its donut time.
It's funny that you automatically assumed that the people I was talking about had 4b hair. I didn't actually say that they did. On a previous thread I mentioned that I knew a girl who was depressed about her 3b/3c hair.

My words in my initial post were "I have counselled a lot of people who suffer from depression because of their hair so I am very sensitive about this issue." None of the ladies that I had in mind have 4b hair. The 4b ladies I know who have hair issues get a relaxer or weave.

The main person I was thinking of was the person I discussed in the following thread: John Frieda 3 day straight advert

This lady has been to a psychiatrist who has diagnosed her depression. However, she still comes to me for counselling. When I say that I counsel her I mean that I advise her, I listen to her, lift her up etc etc

Once again the word counselling is not limited to the psychiatric profession.
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Old 05-10-2011, 11:05 AM   #39
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Oh dear.....

what does this thread have to do with 4bs not posting and sharing their experiences because they are scared? wth?



i asked an honest question. what is curlaway? I mean I can get that it is supposed to remove curls, but I wanted to know what it is.
The comment that I made was not in response to your post. It was Nea's. I didn't quote her in case she decides to edit her post
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Old 05-10-2011, 11:10 AM   #40
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I understand that the word counsel is not limited to professionally licensed therapists and psychiatrists, but it does have a certain connotation, as I stated. Whether you backtracked or not, well, that's a matter of perception. I'm not going to further discuss semantics. Have a nice day.
I've spent time in a lot of different churches and they use the word 'counsel' the same way that I use it. I'm aware that America has a large Christian population so I just assumed that people would know what I meant.
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