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Old 05-10-2011, 11:13 AM   #41
 
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I understand that the word counsel is not limited to professionally licensed therapists and psychiatrists, but it does have a certain connotation, as I stated. Whether you backtracked or not, well, that's a matter of perception. I'm not going to further discuss semantics. Have a nice day.
I've spent time in a lot of different churches and they use the word 'counsel' the same way that I use it. I'm aware that America has a large Christian population so I just assumed that people would know what I meant.
1. It's part of a minister/pastor's job to offer advice to the people who belong to the church. Spiritual guidance and all that. Are you saying it's your job, or you do it out of the kindness of your heart? The two are different.

2. I'm not Christian, and haven't been to church in about 10 years. So perhaps you should not assume.
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Old 05-10-2011, 11:20 AM   #42
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I understand that the word counsel is not limited to professionally licensed therapists and psychiatrists, but it does have a certain connotation, as I stated. Whether you backtracked or not, well, that's a matter of perception. I'm not going to further discuss semantics. Have a nice day.
I've spent time in a lot of different churches and they use the word 'counsel' the same way that I use it. I'm aware that America has a large Christian population so I just assumed that people would know what I meant.
1. It's part of a minister/pastor's job to offer advice to the people who belong to the church. Spiritual guidance and all that. Are you saying it's your job, or you do it out of the kindness of your heart? The two are different.

2. I'm not Christian, and haven't been to church in about 10 years. So perhaps you should not assume.
Clearly I was wrong to have made the assumption that people knew what I was talking about.

Many congregation members offer counselling at churches out of the kindness of their heart. In the last church I went to I was a member of the counselling team they trained us up to counsel people.

However, some years ago I decided that I didn't want to preach a particular religion to people when I was counselling them so I took the main principles that I learned at church and used them in my non profit organisation. And yes, I do counsel people out of the kindness of my heart

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Old 05-10-2011, 11:54 AM   #43
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No one called you any names, and calling "shenanigans" just means that it sounds like you weren't telling the full story (and you weren't).
I prefer not to go around telling people that I help people out of the goodness of my heart because the Bible instructs us to do good in secret.

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I've been on this site since I decided to go natural, and I have seen a LOT of rudeness. Like, ridiculous rudeness. But you can't call someone rude because they didn't get on board with your claim and suggest that you may be doing more harm than you think (which could possibly be the case).
I didn't call Subbrock rude because she 'didn't get on board with' my claim. I call her rude because she said that I should stop counselling people. To me - that is RUDE
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Old 05-10-2011, 12:08 PM   #44
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So, you can't really be surprised that someone called "BS" on your statement due to the authoritative tone you had.
When I private messaged you yesterday I mentioned that I am not used to posting on forums. When it comes to writing I'm used to writing legal documents and things to do with my job as a lawyer so perhaps that's why my tone comes across as 'authoritative'.

It was not my intention to sound 'authoritative' and the way that I write is different from the way that I speak. I do a lot of reading (cases, judgements, legal documents, etc) which influences my writing. However, I grew up in the inner city and when I speak people can tell.
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Old 05-10-2011, 01:01 PM   #45
 
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Also,
Folks who are not strong enough to handle negative responses on message boards should NOT be participating on message boards. If you run for the ledge, because somebody funned on your "interesting" post (the responses were quite mild), you need to be in therapy...and it has nothing to do with those who posted responses.

The original post (with the blog link) is side eye-worthy. No question. Again, people think this is their living room, and everybody is going to be like Barney.
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Old 05-10-2011, 01:05 PM   #46
 
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LOL NEA. especiallly "everyone is going to be like Barney"
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Old 05-10-2011, 01:08 PM   #47
 
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Also,
Folks who are not strong enough to handle negative responses on message boards should NOT be participating on message boards. If you run for the ledge, because somebody funned on your "interesting" post (the responses were quite mild), you need to be in therapy...and it has nothing to do with those who posted responses.

The original post (with the blog link) is side eye-worthy. No question. Again, people think this is their living room, and everybody is going to be like Barney.
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Old 05-10-2011, 01:45 PM   #48
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Also,
Folks who are not strong enough to handle negative responses on message boards should NOT be participating on message boards.
Good point.

The OP may not have had a problem with your response. I was just very concerned about the people who may read it. I'm very senstive about things like that because I know of people who suffer from depression because of their hair.

Like I said before, I wasn't intentionally trying to sound 'authoritative' it's just the way I come across in writing.
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Old 05-10-2011, 02:55 PM   #49
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nobody can make you feel bad about anything unless you already feel bad about it.
I do not agree with this. The girl I know who suffers from depression because of her 3b/3c hair used to love her hair until people started telling her that it didn't look good.

She says that all of the white men that she has ever met (other than her father) tell her that her hair does not look nice curly. She believes that all white men hate curly hair.*

(I know that all white men do not hate curly hair - I'm just saying what she believes)

I wrote about her issues in depth in the John Frieda thread days ago ( So hopefully no one will accuse me of making it up to support my position)




*This lady has given me permission to share her experience.
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Old 05-10-2011, 03:33 PM   #50
 
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AVC is an HG for me. It removes hard water deposits from my hair, making it smoother and shinier. It also seals the cuticle which helps it stay soft and moisturized. Sometimes I use it to clean my sink. It makes it extra shiny. Oh the wonders of ACV!

I don't know anything about this curlaway business or hair depression.
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Old 05-10-2011, 03:44 PM   #51
 
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It's also great for cleaning mirrors btw!
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Old 05-10-2011, 05:09 PM   #52
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlikaIssa View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post

nobody can make you feel bad about anything unless you already feel bad about it.
I do not agree with this. The girl I know who suffers from depression because of her 3b/3c hair used to love her hair until people started telling her that it didn't look good.

She says that all of the white men that she has ever met (other than her father) tell her that her hair does not look nice curly. She believes that all white men hate curly hair.*

(I know that all white men do not hate curly hair - I'm just saying what she believes)

I wrote about her issues in depth in the John Frieda thread days ago ( So hopefully no one will accuse me of making it up to support my position)




*This lady has given me permission to share her experience.

maybe there's something about the way she wears her hair or the appearance of her hair and not the curls themselves???

maybe she shld try dating outside her race...

sometimes, when people meet other people who are just off in someway which they cannot pin point, they will say something off the cuff...something like "I don't like your hair curly" when really they mean something else, which they might not know how to say

She needs to build confidence in her hair. She already believes that her curly hair is not beautiful and she is walking around emitting this non-confidence. People can smell that a mile away...I also bet that she believes that in general, she is not beautiful, which is something that stems from something larger and more long term, and not from a few men she has met telling her they don't like her hair.
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Old 05-10-2011, 05:14 PM   #53
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NEA View Post
Also,
Folks who are not strong enough to handle negative responses on message boards should NOT be participating on message boards. If you run for the ledge, because somebody funned on your "interesting" post (the responses were quite mild), you need to be in therapy...and it has nothing to do with those who posted responses.

The original post (with the blog link) is side eye-worthy. No question. Again, people think this is their living room, and everybody is going to be like Barney.
I actually laughed out loud at this and scared myself because it echoes in here.
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Old 05-10-2011, 05:17 PM   #54
 
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@ Saila and others:
Curlaway:

Xenna Curlaway Gradual Curl Relaxer Green Apple Fragrance -- 6 oz - Vitacost
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Old 05-10-2011, 05:21 PM   #55
 
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^ hey its cheaper there, You can save just about $2 bucks off than in Walgreens
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Old 05-10-2011, 05:27 PM   #56
 
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I still don't understand. It is supposed to help with the heat training process? How does it remove curl without a chemical? Uhh... Wrapping isn't permanent. WTF?
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Old 05-10-2011, 05:27 PM   #57
 
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^ hey its cheaper there, You can save just about $2 bucks off than in Walgreens
I didn't know Walgreens carried it. I wasn't looking for it but this is more cause for me to be angry that my Walgreens never has anything LOL
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Old 05-10-2011, 05:29 PM   #58
 
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I still don't understand. It is supposed to help with the heat training process? How does it remove curl without a chemical? Uhh... Wrapping isn't permanent. WTF?
Saila, you and me both

*there needs to be a smilie for WTF*
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:06 PM   #59
 
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On the surface it looks like a dressed up ACV rinse. Acetic acid is from vinegar right?

But then I read:

Quote:
Curlaway Curl Relaxer breaks hydrogen bonds in the keratin protein of your hair, not S-S bonds like conventional, high-pH relaxers.
So I don't think their listing all the ingredients?
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:29 PM   #60
 
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Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I am under the impression that water and heat also affect H bonds. Meaning, heat temporarily undoes the H bonds and water brings them back, unless the heat was intense enough to melt the protein bonds. This is sketch. Lol
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