Considering going back to relaxers

So I just completed my transition from relaxed to natural and I have to say, it was really hard. But I'm happy my hair is natural now. The only problem is nothing seems to work for my hair. I've yet to find a even a decent conditioner or leave in and it's been over a year. I've tried practically everything but they all just end up leaving my hair feeling hard and dry like straw. I don't want to but I've been considering just going back to relaxing my hair...Any advice?
So I just completed my transition from relaxed to natural and I have to say, it was really hard. But I'm happy my hair is natural now. The only problem is nothing seems to work for my hair. I've yet to find a even a decent conditioner or leave in and it's been over a year. I've tried practically everything but they all just end up leaving my hair feeling hard and dry like straw. I don't want to but I've been considering just going back to relaxing my hair...Any advice?
Originally Posted by noir
You say you just became natural, and you transitioned so you must know that this takes patience. Give it time to learn what works and what you're hair needs. If every natural went back to relaxers at every little problem, we'd have no naturals. Please just give it time, if you're not willing to give your hair that then go back to relaxers.
Curly in Okinawa, Japan where only the toughest curls can stand up to this heat and humidity.

My Arsenal:
Shampoo: Waiting on SM African Black soap shampoo to makes its way to me...
Conditioner(s): CJ Beauticurls Argan and Olive Oil, Curl Junkie Smoothing Lotion
Treatments: CJ Curl Rehab, CJ Deep Fix, CJ Repair Me!
Oil: Apricot Kernel Oil
Stylers: CD Loc Butter for twists, CJAF, CJCQ (haven't figured out how to work this though...)
My sure your products are optimal for your weather conditions. When I first BC'ed, my hair would often dry out once my hair dried, then I realized that I was using products with glycerin and our dew points were very low. After I switched my products to ones w/o glycerin for winter and began checking my dews, it was a lot easier. Being natural means that you will need to do research to realize why/how a product works on your hair, not just buy a product on the shelf. Become familiar with ingredients and know what your hair likes and dislikes.
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The first 7 months post chop my hair would become a desert 2hrs after leaving the house .

It changed when I started using rinse out conditioners as my leave-in because products called leave ins just weren't cutting it .

The change was rinse out as leave in + sealing with coconut oil or any oil you have .

Is wetting your hair maybe every other day an option ? Nothing moisturizes better than water .





Sent from my Desire HD using CurlTalk App
I have to tell you that going natural is probably the biggest, most complicated research project I have ever undertaken. I agree with all the other posters. I would also add that build up on your hair sometimes prevents you from seeing how products affect your hair. Whenever I try a new product, I clarify first, and then use that product either alone, or with other products that I am familiar with. It's a process ofelimination to see what works and what doesnt. What kind of hair do you have? what type of products are you using? If you really can't take it any more, why not do a protective style and take a break? When it got frustrating for me I had to remember why I went natural in the first place. Also, I got frustrated when my hair didn't love (or downright HATED) products that others listed as their Holy Grails. I learned my hair is unique. I am still learning....you will have to develop patience to see this through....
Hair type-BC: 2/2011-mix of kinks+ coils
Wash-Bobeam Poo bars, As I Am Cleansing Pudding and Coconut Cowash cleansing condish
LI/RO-Curl Junkie rehab, Shescentit Avocado condish, Oyin Hair dew
DT-KBB Luscious Locks, Curl Junkie ANYthing, Shescentit Avocado condish
Style- UFD, As I Am Curling Gelly,
Sealant- Castor, sweet almond oil,Hairveda Vegetal soya oil KBB hair cream
Will try any CG product at least once.
Proud to be a PJ!

You may have already done so, but a hair analysis could also be helpful.

For a good two years now nothing worked for me, but recently I found out I was low porosity so nothing was getting into my hair.
Hair type: 2C-3A, very dry, extremely low porosity, med elasticity, insanely thick kinky-wavy.
HGs: Trader Joe's Nourish spa conditioner, Epsom salt rinse, Joico K-pak conditioner
Along with what everyone else said, also learn your hair type. Not in terms of curl size, but the density, porosity, etc.

After almost 9 years, I'm learning in 2011 that my hair is porous. It drinks up everything I put near it and dries fast despite how much hair I have. I have to moisturize daily with water, a leave in and seal with a butter or oil. I cant skip a day. I especially have to care for the ends.

Yes, check those ingredients, the weather, etc.

Curious, what are you using now?
APL BSL MBL WL HL TBL | porous, fine/medium strands, medium density
My Fotki!
Below: Typical PS bun
mybe you should try using a leave in, and sealng the hair w/ a good butter. when i started doing that, my hair was WAYYYYYYYYYYYY more moisturized and lasted llonger.now, i don't even need to do it every night. i can do a braidout like once a week and still have moisture and definition for the whole week.
Being natural means that you will need to do research to realize why/how a product works on your hair, not just buy a product on the shelf. Become familiar with ingredients and know what your hair likes and dislikes.
Originally Posted by EllyEllyOxenFree
I've been learning what my hair likes and doesn't like recently. I know my hair is not a big fan of glycerin or protein so I've tried buying products with out it but even those have not been working and that's what's really disheartening right now.

The first 7 months post chop my hair would become a desert 2hrs after leaving the house .

It changed when I started using rinse out conditioners as my leave-in because products called leave ins just weren't cutting it .

The change was rinse out as leave in + sealing with coconut oil or any oil you have .

Is wetting your hair maybe every other day an option ? Nothing moisturizes better than water .

Sent from my Desire HD using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by ttlolla
I've tried regular leave ins and those don't seem to really work for my and I've tried leaving a bit of conditioner in my hair after rinsing and that makes my hair feel even worse. My hair doesn't particularly like light, penetrating oils like coconut or olive so I just stick to heavier things like castor oil though my hair will end up feeling dry after about an hour. I do wet my hair as much as possible but once it dries, it feels like straw and is very wiry.

I have to tell you that going natural is probably the biggest, most complicated research project I have ever undertaken. I agree with all the other posters. I would also add that build up on your hair sometimes prevents you from seeing how products affect your hair. Whenever I try a new product, I clarify first, and then use that product either alone, or with other products that I am familiar with. It's a process ofelimination to see what works and what doesnt. What kind of hair do you have? what type of products are you using? If you really can't take it any more, why not do a protective style and take a break? When it got frustrating for me I had to remember why I went natural in the first place. Also, I got frustrated when my hair didn't love (or downright HATED) products that others listed as their Holy Grails. I learned my hair is unique. I am still learning....you will have to develop patience to see this through....
Originally Posted by pjjosephgiss
I always clarify when using a new product because the I can really see if it works or not. I also have been using protective styles since nothing seems to work for my hair. And yes, I know exactly what you mean about others holy grails. After experiencing so many fails with supposed "miracle" products I did more research to learn about what my hair liked and didn't like to avoid such terrible experiences again.

You may have already done so, but a hair analysis could also be helpful.

For a good two years now nothing worked for me, but recently I found out I was low porosity so nothing was getting into my hair.
Originally Posted by wavie
What is a hair analysis? I know my hair is low porosity, is very thick and is extremely coarse.

Along with what everyone else said, also learn your hair type. Not in terms of curl size, but the density, porosity, etc.

After almost 9 years, I'm learning in 2011 that my hair is porous. It drinks up everything I put near it and dries fast despite how much hair I have. I have to moisturize daily with water, a leave in and seal with a butter or oil. I cant skip a day. I especially have to care for the ends.

Yes, check those ingredients, the weather, etc.

Curious, what are you using now?
Originally Posted by greenandchic
Right now the only decent product that I've been sticking to is Elasta QP Creme Conditioning Shampoo. As a leave-in and moisturizer I use QB Burdock Root Cream. It works ok but, it doesn't really leave my hair feeling moisturized for long (maybe 2 hours tops) I even mixed it with aloe juice because I know hair needs slightly acidic products to balance out it's pH. I seal with castor oil mostly because so far it seems to be the only sealant my hair tolerates. When I first started transitioning my hair was suffering from protein overload and someone recommended I use Aussie moist 3 minute deep conditioner. It left my hair feeling moist, soft and just great. When I tried using it again it made my hair feel dry and hard. I tried using a protein conditioner but that made it worse. So ever since then, I've yet to find something that leaves my hair feeling even half as good as the Aussie did that one time.

mybe you should try using a leave in, and sealng the hair w/ a good butter. when i started doing that, my hair was WAYYYYYYYYYYYY more moisturized and lasted llonger.now, i don't even need to do it every night. i can do a braidout like once a week and still have moisture and definition for the whole week.
Originally Posted by keenylicious
I use shea butter from time to time but it just doesn't leave my hair feeling moist for more then an hour at most.



Last night I bought Jessicurl WDT because it's protein and glycerin free. I put on a shower cap and left it on for a couple of hours and once I rinsed it out, my hair felt so dry and hard. I was really hoping it would work but it didn't and that's what really made me want to just quit. I'm considering trying KBB's Luscious Locks Hair Mask along with the Sweet Ambrosia (glycerin is pretty low on the list of ingredients). I'm still thinking about getting the Butter Love.
Do you have any photos of your hair?

Could your hair still have some relaxed pieces?

Do you color your hair?
APL BSL MBL WL HL TBL | porous, fine/medium strands, medium density
My Fotki!
Below: Typical PS bun
A hair analysis is done by companies like live curly live free, and they tell you the properties of your hair (porosity, elasticity, etc).

If you are certain that your hair is low porosity, that actually might be the issue as to why products don't work. You might have to open the shaft, like with baking soda or heat, for products to penetrate your hair. But be careful because that could cause damage.
Hair type: 2C-3A, very dry, extremely low porosity, med elasticity, insanely thick kinky-wavy.
HGs: Trader Joe's Nourish spa conditioner, Epsom salt rinse, Joico K-pak conditioner

Last edited by wavie; 05-16-2011 at 10:09 PM.
Last night I bought Jessicurl WDT because it's protein and glycerin free. I put on a shower cap and left it on for a couple of hours and once I rinsed it out, my hair felt so dry and hard. I was really hoping it would work but it didn't and that's what really made me want to just quit. I'm considering trying KBB's Luscious Locks Hair Mask along with the Sweet Ambrosia (glycerin is pretty low on the list of ingredients). I'm still thinking about getting the Butter Love.
Originally Posted by noir
1-I think using the right products can make a big difference. when you check out KBBs Luscious, also look into (or ask for samples of) her moisturizing shampoo and conditioner- all natural products that aim to moisturize have been game changers for my hair.

2-also try an apple cider vinegar (acv)rinse to rid of build up from previous products. it serves as a neutralizer and gives you a fresh start. after experimenting with different products, even after a wash, my hair was feeling like straw for a while. an acv rinse removed that buildup and my hair was able to really benefit from the natural shampoos, shea etc in a new way.

3- twist or braid even if large every night. permed hair made me think water was an enemy but also dampen hair a tiny bit water before applying shea, butter or whatever you may use to twist. then wear silk stocking etc. this has done wonders compared to trying to rewear twist out etc. especially if hair is dry.
Style: Twists as protective style for winter, occassional bantu twist outs.
Weekly: Preepoo w/ rosemary water, honey, coco oil and castor oil. Wash w/ KBB conditioning poo, condition with KBB moisturizing conditioner. Twist with KBB Sweet Ambrosia, Shea and dab of castor oil.
Monthly:KBB Luscious Locks DT. Terressentials detox left hair significantly softer and shinier, now use to wash once every 2 months.
Do you have any photos of your hair?

Could your hair still have some relaxed pieces?

Do you color your hair?
Originally Posted by greenandchic
I don't have any photos of my hair natural but I will definitely try to get some. I do have some relaxed pieces and I plan of cutting them off as soon as I find something that works with my hair, and I have never colored my hair.

A hair analysis is done by companies like live curly live free, and they tell you the properties of your hair (porosity, elasticity, etc).

If you are certain that your hair is low porosity, that actually might be the issue as to why products don't work. You might have to open the shaft, like with baking soda or heat, for products to penetrate your hair. But be careful because that could cause damage.
Originally Posted by wavie
Ok thanks. I'll look into that. I'm about 90% positive my hair is low porosity because it takes a little while to become "soaking wet" and it hardly ever fully absorbs products. It also makes a "squeaking' sound when I run my fingers from tip to root on it. I was considering doing a baking soda treatment, but I heard that it's really alkaline. If the KBB hair mask doesn't work I will try it though.

Last night I bought Jessicurl WDT because it's protein and glycerin free. I put on a shower cap and left it on for a couple of hours and once I rinsed it out, my hair felt so dry and hard. I was really hoping it would work but it didn't and that's what really made me want to just quit. I'm considering trying KBB's Luscious Locks Hair Mask along with the Sweet Ambrosia (glycerin is pretty low on the list of ingredients). I'm still thinking about getting the Butter Love.
Originally Posted by noir
1-I think using the right products can make a big difference. when you check out KBBs Luscious, also look into (or ask for samples of) her moisturizing shampoo and conditioner- all natural products that aim to moisturize have been game changers for my hair.

2-also try an apple cider vinegar (acv)rinse to rid of build up from previous products. it serves as a neutralizer and gives you a fresh start. after experimenting with different products, even after a wash, my hair was feeling like straw for a while. an acv rinse removed that buildup and my hair was able to really benefit from the natural shampoos, shea etc in a new way.

3- twist or braid even if large every night. permed hair made me think water was an enemy but also dampen hair a tiny bit water before applying shea, butter or whatever you may use to twist. then wear silk stocking etc. this has done wonders compared to trying to rewear twist out etc. especially if hair is dry.
Originally Posted by capri
I was actually thinking of ordering the KBB hair mask and sweet ambrosia (the dew point in my city is in the 60s so hopefully a little glycerin wouldn't be too bad for my hair) at curlmart since I've heard less then great things about KBB's service.

I've only ever had one successful experience with an ACV rinse (that time I used Aussie and got spectacular results) but I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it another try)

Ever since going natural I almost always make sure my hair is in some sort of protective style before bed. I'll admit I don't moisturize as much as I should though because I've yet to find a product that provides the right amount of moisture (not to light or too heavy).
noir,

It may be time to pull out the mixologist within. I had the same issue with dryness and it took quite some time to figure it out. I found that what really helped me alot was melting down my shea, add a few oils(jojoba, vatika, any essential oil) then freezing it to get it solid.

That mixture i can use for daily(or nightly) moisture, a moisturizing deep condish and for my skin actually. That concoction make a huge difference for me.

I personally have a steamer that I use for deep treating...I found that it also helped tremendoulsy. My hair doesn't like dry heat...because its more...well drying. LOL. I travel every week and by travel i mean i get on a plane twice a week and I travel to cold climates although i live in a warm one. That change of climate and lack of moist air (from the plane) caused a ruckus. Just give it some time...there is never a need to go back to a perm. I'd say press your hair first if you are feeling that way. when i was a pressed natural (many moons ago), My hair behaved very differenlty and required different products and was NEVER, EVER dry. It also actually retained it's length more because obviously it remained stretched out(if you can call it stretching). I would say give it time and if you just can't do it for some reason, I say press(flat iron of course...no comb). Chemicals are not neccessary.
"We Live From the Head Down and Not the Feet Up" ~Donnie
noir,

It may be time to pull out the mixologist within. I had the same issue with dryness and it took quite some time to figure it out. I found that what really helped me alot was melting down my shea, add a few oils(jojoba, vatika, any essential oil) then freezing it to get it solid.

That mixture i can use for daily(or nightly) moisture, a moisturizing deep condish and for my skin actually. That concoction make a huge difference for me.

I personally have a steamer that I use for deep treating...I found that it also helped tremendoulsy. My hair doesn't like dry heat...because its more...well drying. LOL. I travel every week and by travel i mean i get on a plane twice a week and I travel to cold climates although i live in a warm one. That change of climate and lack of moist air (from the plane) caused a ruckus. Just give it some time...there is never a need to go back to a perm. I'd say press your hair first if you are feeling that way. when i was a pressed natural (many moons ago), My hair behaved very differenlty and required different products and was NEVER, EVER dry. It also actually retained it's length more because obviously it remained stretched out(if you can call it stretching). I would say give it time and if you just can't do it for some reason, I say press(flat iron of course...no comb). Chemicals are not neccessary.
Originally Posted by h2wQueen
Shea Butter does work! I literally have been struggling with dry hair since I big chopped 3 months ago. Today, I melted down my shea butter until it was fully liquid and put it on my hair. I can ALREADY tell the difference, my hair is sooo soft!

But if you do feel like it is too hard to deal with right now, you can always try again at a different time. But I do encourage you to stick with it


LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY!
Hey i know how stressful it can be to feel that no matter what you do to your hair nothing works, most of us go trough that at the beginning of our journeys and some of us much later because as our hair grows what it needs changes. you said you've tried everything and nothing worked. has anything come close to working; if so what was that products main ingredient. once you've identified that ingredient look for more products that have that same ingredients. once you have identified 3 ingredients that really work well for you focus on finding products that have those ingredients. this will help limit your pj a little and make the process much easier. I hope this helps.

So I just completed my transition from relaxed to natural and I have to say, it was really hard. But I'm happy my hair is natural now. The only problem is nothing seems to work for my hair. I've yet to find a even a decent conditioner or leave in and it's been over a year. I've tried practically everything but they all just end up leaving my hair feeling hard and dry like straw. I don't want to but I've been considering just going back to relaxing my hair...Any advice?
Originally Posted by noir
Stick it out! Visit curly websites, hit up youtube, theres a plethora of information out there.

Sent from my HTC Glacier using CurlTalk App
Texture: proud 4a (3c at the nape).
Regimen: co-wash everyday.deep condition, de-tangle and seal once a week.
Current Favs: Treseme Naturals shampoo & conditioner, wide tooth comb, coconut oil, Shea Moisture curling smoothie, ampro clear styling gel .
Protective Style: buns

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If a moisturizer is too heavy: dilute it in an empty bottle/jar with water and glycerin if your hair likes glycerin.

If its too light: add some oils/butters to it.

Or you can mix together the too light and too heavy to find out if they make your happy medium.

Play around with em. I keep lil travel sized bottles and empty jars around in case I wanna go into mixtress mode.

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tex-laxed(pfffttt)
Thick/coarse/low porosity/low elasticity
4a/b cottony/spongy

At war with my indestructible, armadillo hair...MY WILL BE DONE!

GIFSoup
I just noticed something in one of your posts....you said that you are low proisity and were adding aloe juice to things because of the PH. I think that MIGHT be your issue right there. Low porisity means that the cuticle of your hair is naturally closed, which is why many products don't penetrate and enter the hair. If you are adding aloe juice to products, then you are closing the cuticle even more which means that even LESS product (and moisture) are entering your hair. If you are doing ACV rinses, this too is causing the cuticle to close even more (and FYI..ACV does not clarifiy the hair).

One of the easiest remedies for you is to deep conditioner with heat. The moist heat will help the cuticle of your hair open a bit and more moisture will enter the hair. Also, the use of products with a more basic ph might serve to open the cuticle more which will help you get more moisture inside of the hair shaft.
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I just noticed something in one of your posts....you said that you are low proisity and were adding aloe juice to things because of the PH. I think that MIGHT be your issue right there. Low porisity means that the cuticle of your hair is naturally closed, which is why many products don't penetrate and enter the hair. If you are adding aloe juice to products, then you are closing the cuticle even more which means that even LESS product (and moisture) are entering your hair. If you are doing ACV rinses, this too is causing the cuticle to close even more (and FYI..ACV does not clarifiy the hair).

One of the easiest remedies for you is to deep conditioner with heat. The moist heat will help the cuticle of your hair open a bit and more moisture will enter the hair. Also, the use of products with a more basic ph might serve to open the cuticle more which will help you get more moisture inside of the hair shaft.
Originally Posted by Nappy_curly_crown
+1.
@NCC: I never knew that about aloe. I just know my doesn't like it so I don't use it. Didn't know why. Thanks!

I also have low porosity. I use water based products and glycerin. You may want to avoid layering products on your hair since it takes time to absorb them. If you feel as though you need to use a leave-in and a styler, give your hair a few minutes to absorb the leave-in then use the styler. I noticed that you have tried Aussie Moist. Aussie contains cones, so you definitely do not want to use that.
___________________________
BC 11/23/2008
Low porosity, Fine/Medium Texture, S-Curls

Co-wash: VO5 Tea Therapy
Rinse Out: Garnier Sleek 'n Shine (subject to change)
Styler: Long Aid Curl Activator

Dislikes: Proteins (except occasional Silk protein), Cones, Oils

Last edited by teejay; 05-19-2011 at 11:47 AM. Reason: remove error

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