The New & Improved Say It I Dare You

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*Melodrama Alert*:

I totally want to stab myself in the eye to get out of work. I just want to stop debating this silly issue with my boss. I want to just disappear.

It is time for a vacation.
Originally Posted by 3c4d7zwhatevs

Sage is that you?
Originally Posted by Cerendipity
Girl yeah. It has been that kind of day.

ETA: Ms. Kinks, congrats on the clean bill of health!
Cerendipity likes this.
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sooo...

I did five of these...with my 3 lb weights..while sitting up at my desk.


I THINK I'M DYING. my arms are actual noodles.
Well, damn.

I told you I wasn't having sex with you, and you still run out and get toothbrush, contact solution and tampons so I can crash.

Well, damn.
Originally Posted by annabananalise
HOLY SMOKES..Do you know I yelled WHAT as loud as heck when I saw this!

Oh em gee...Mr. Lawya wants to get it on already...wowsa.

I don't know maybe cause I've been married and with the same man for eons..I don't know how dating and stuff is supposed to work..what's insulting and what isn't these days. But if he went out and purchased those things..isn't that a sign well that he understands you won't be having relations but he'd still like you to stay and feel comfortable ?

This is TMI but I'm just trying to help clarify what I'm conveying..but I stayed at my husband's apartment over night before and didn't have relations..when we were dating. It was actually really fun and nice. Just like a sleep over. We ate homemade turkey subs, popped popcorn, and watched several movies. He had sleeping bags and we went to sleep in our own sleeping bags on the floor in front of his television. He was a perfect gentleman. Made me breakfast the next morning.

Maybe that's where your guy's head is ???
Originally Posted by *Marah*
Oh, that sounds wonderful! I wonder if there are that many single men who would be up for that out there right now. *sigh*
*Marah* likes this.
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just went to walmart with a good friend of mine.


He has the worst taste in women, smh.


5 years ago i could have married him, now, not so much


I love hanging out with him though, we always laugh and I keep it 100 with him at all times.

Wish he would stop letting these women take advantage of his heart and money though
To all the only child people specifically (and anyone else that just wants to offer some opinion..)

My son is 8. He's an only child. And he expressed to me today that he feels very lonely and sad and wishes that I would have another child. And the look on this child's face..I mean my dayum soul hurt for him. He said he just doesn't understand why I won't give him a brother or sister..and it hurts him.

I didn't know what to say to him so I told him that his father and I love him very much and that we don't want him to feel lonely. Now I didn't say yes or no to another child. I just coddled him and he went off.

We've have similiar discussions before (like he's mentioned he'd like a sibling but I've always told him that he's the best kid in the world and he's all we need and my husband has basically told him that we didn't plan for more children) but he never seemed to express his desire for siblings with such sadness and pain in his eyes as he did today. As a mother that killed me..I mean killed me. So much so that I called my husband at work all upset and crying today.

We (my husband and I) discussed our son's feelings when he went to bed. My husband said that our son's circumstances weren't going to change and he's not sure what we can do about it besides love the boy. I'm not even sure I could conceive (I have some reproductive issues that I'd rather not disclose) and I don't even know if it's something we'd consider..we had no real plans for another child..especially not now...8 years into raising a child!

So my question is..how can I help my son ? It doesn't look like we are going to be able to have any more children. And I feel horrible for my son. I grew up with a brother and he and I were SUPER close and my husband had 5 other siblings....so we really can't relate to what he's going thru at all. But as a mother I'm so pained that my child is hurting like this..and as a mother it makes me feel like I failed him in some way.

I mean what can I do ? Do only children grow up to resent their parents ? Is it wrong to have a baby just so another child won't be so lonely..should I even go there..I can't imagine the money and effort it would take..UGH!

Is there something I can do to make this better for him ? How do only children cope ? I'm really at a loss...and I don't want to discuss this with my family and RL friends because I don't want to effin hear.."I told you so..told you that you should have tried to get preggers again right after him...now look!" Because I think I would really go off and end up saying and doing things that I can't take back.

Anyway..any help, advice, comments, whatever that ANY of you can offer..I'd appreciate it so so much. Because I'm extremely upset about this and can't even sleep. Yet my hubs is snoring. How do men do that ?

I am sorry if I sound like nut..I am a strong person but when it comes to my son..I just break. I adore him...probably to much.
Marah I have a huge family. Im not an only child but im the youngest and my parents were much older when I was born. I grew up with cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. I mean I always went away each summer and each holiday so I never really felt like I was alone. When i was growing up and we eventually settled in the Bronx, our neighborhood was really close so I always had someone to play with , as well as my mother having me in every activity she could find.

Now my son on the other hand, we have no immediate family besides my mother close to us, everyone else is spread out. Every other summer , he spends the summer with my side of the family , and then his fathers side.

He is really close to my mother and me. When he was 7-10 he really wanted a sibling, I talked to him and said its not possible right now but who knows what God will bring us. He was sad but he didnt push.

At the age of 13, he has gotten over it because frankly hes spoiled rotten. Whenever people ask will I have more children, he will be the first one to nod , NO!

Every now and again he says he wouldn't mind one but his heart isn't set on it as he used to be. He has a god-brother he adores. I make sure they get to hang out as much as possible
Marah, when my daughter was around that age, she said the same to me. I explained to her that I was blessed to have her as I was told I couldn't have children due to reproductive issues I was born with and problems I developed. We discussed that it wouldn't be possible to have another child.

I made sure she spent time with her cousins and with close friends. I pointed out on occasion that she didn't have to share but her friends with siblings did. I let her know that it allows me to do more for her. That will generally be appreciated when teenagehood starts.

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Marah:
I'm not an only child, but growing up my parents always told me that (first) cousins are supposed to be just like siblings. Does your brother (or your husband's siblings) have children? Specifically children around your son's age? Now might be a good time to really start forging bonds between them.
I'm sorry marah. I'm not an only child, I have a twin sister, so on some level I can't relate to being an only child. But I did have friends who were only children growing up. Some coped well, others didn't. I think it's hard for some to just appreciate what they have when they feel they're missing out. The grass is always greener, some say. For instance, some siblings just don't get along. A sibling isn't always an automatic friend. I know people like that too.

Does he have friends and is he in extracurriculars? Do you and your husband spend a lot of time with him? Maybe getting to the bottom of why he has lonely feelings will make it easier to explain to him why you can't just give him a sibling right now.

I hope that makes sense. It's hard typing on this thing.


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Marah I have a huge family. Im not an only child but im the youngest and my parents were much older when I was born. I grew up with cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. I mean I always went away each summer and each holiday so I never really felt like I was alone. When i was growing up and we eventually settled in the Bronx, our neighborhood was really close so I always had someone to play with , as well as my mother having me in every activity she could find.

Now my son on the other hand, we have no immediate family besides my mother close to us, everyone else is spread out. Every other summer , he spends the summer with my side of the family , and then his fathers side.

He is really close to my mother and me. When he was 7-10 he really wanted a sibling, I talked to him and said its not possible right now but who knows what God will bring us. He was sad but he didnt push.

At the age of 13, he has gotten over it because frankly hes spoiled rotten. Whenever people ask will I have more children, he will be the first one to nod , NO!

Every now and again he says he wouldn't mind one but his heart isn't set on it as he used to be. He has a god-brother he adores. I make sure they get to hang out as much as possible
Originally Posted by Cerendipity
Thank you for your comments..our son is spoiled too. I think I've over compensated because he doesn't have siblings and I'll be honest..guilt. My husband takes a more balanced approach.

We purchased our son a dog last year (that he's nuts about) to help combat not having a sibling but..I guess it's not good enough. Our son does have friends and I pointed that out to him..but he said he wants someone to live with him so they can be together ALL the time. *Sigh* I don't think he understands that even if I was able to conceive that they would be very far apart in age difference and he'd still probably feel lonely.

Pretty much all my relatives and friends children are older and so are my husband's. When they were having kids my husband and I were travelling and seeing the world. And even after our son was born we took him right with us travelling all over. The one cousin that I have that does have a 10 year old son but she and I don't see eachother very often and talk sporadically..

He does have friends but they don't get to play together as much like they did over the summer. Our son is so busy with lessons, regular school, Hebrew school, we attend synagogue a few times a week, homework, etc. Perhaps that's what's missing for him ? I do know a few ladies with sons my son's age but we are just acquaintances..they live in my town. Maybe they won't think I'm totally psycho if I tried to get to know them better and try to get our kids to play together ? And our sons do know eachother already because they attend the same regular school and they always say hello when they see eachother.

I pray my son is like your son..and at some point it doesn't bother him so much. Because I just don't know what else to do
Marah:
I'm not an only child, but growing up my parents always told me that (first) cousins are supposed to be just like siblings. Does your brother (or your husband's siblings) have children? Specifically children around your son's age? Now might be a good time to really start forging bonds between them.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
I have one brother and he lives in another state with his wife. His wife hasn't been able to get preggers in 2 years..they've tried everything. My husband is older than me and he's the baby of his family. So all his siblings are older than him and their kids are actually adults...LOL! The youngest one is 20.

I do have one cousin with a 10 year old son..she and I have an oooookay relationship. Guess I have to go groveling so her son will play with mine.. *Sigh*

The things you are willing to do for your kid!
*Sigh* And where the HELL is NEA (Ninjarette) when I need her.


Um..busy with a life and not available for your emotional issues Marah..duh.
Marah, when my daughter was around that age, she said the same to me. I explained to her that I was blessed to have her as I was told I couldn't have children due to reproductive issues I was born with and problems I developed. We discussed that it wouldn't be possible to have another child.

I made sure she spent time with her cousins and with close friends. I pointed out on occasion that she didn't have to share but her friends with siblings did. I let her know that it allows me to do more for her. That will generally be appreciated when teenagehood starts.
Originally Posted by juanab
I think that I'm going to have to cut out so much of his activities and start trying to get him into being with friends often. Cousins are out cause they are much older...except for 1 possibly..

In past times I did tell my son basically what you said..about how we can do a lot more for him because he's an only child..but he's 8..he AIN'T trying to hear it. People even in the store..like cashiers and clerks will say.."WOW.. you must be an only child (cause he usually get a bunch of unneccessary shkit when we go shopping cause of my guilt. I got into Walmart for dayum Tide..this fool done got 3 toys and a t-shirt! ROFL! The guilt is terrible.) because look at all this stuff your mom got you..you are lucky."

He does smile and grin about it! And I've told him.."See..you are my ONLY baby and you've have to share all this if you had a brother or sister" ..oddly enough he says.."Um..I'm not sharing!"

I hope you are correct and he doesn't resent me..and once he's a teenager he's okay with it.
I'm sorry marah. I'm not an only child, I have a twin sister, so on some level I can't relate to being an only child. But I did have friends who were only children growing up. Some coped well, others didn't. I think it's hard for some to just appreciate what they have when they feel they're missing out. The grass is always greener, some say. For instance, some siblings just don't get along. A sibling isn't always an automatic friend. I know people like that too.

Does he have friends and is he in extracurriculars? Do you and your husband spend a lot of time with him? Maybe getting to the bottom of why he has lonely feelings will make it easier to explain to him why you can't just give him a sibling right now.

I hope that makes sense. It's hard typing on this thing.


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Originally Posted by CocoT
First of all..let me say thank you BUT I hate you right now. Do you have ANY idea how much I wanted a twin sister and I still would KILL to have one. UGH! I don't even care if she got on my nerves..just to have her would be wonderful. My brother lives far away now..

Yes..he does have friends but with all his activities, Hebrew school, regular school, swim lessons, synagogue services, homework..I think the child barely has time to breath now that I think about it. Over the summer he got to play with kids more..but now his time with other kids is very limited unless it's at either school or synagogue. His extracurriculars and schools take up most of his time.

My husband and I spend a lot of time with him. ESPECIALLY my husband. They are always joined at the hip. If my husband is not at work..he has his son right with him. I spend a good amount of time with our son but as he's gotten older I've hung back a bit so he can be alone with his father more..you know the whole father-son bonding thing. They do all sorts of stuff together: games, movies, video games, DVD man parties (yes that's what they call them and I have to serve the food & drinks then vanish), biking, they just bought this skeeball set and new tools for kids to put together. But I guess that's just not enough..I guess he wants someone like him..a kid. Given the way they carry on..you'd think my husband was 8 just like him...wrestling and all this yelling downstairs! If I hear "BOOYAH!" one more time cause one of them scored on the PS2 or PS3..good lord.
Wait a minute..wait a minute. Gabrielle Union is dayum near 40 and her guy Dwayne Wade JUST turned 30. Well BOTH of them had me fooled. I thought she was only about 32! 35 at the very most. And I thought for sure he was at least 34 or 35...cause well he looks it to me.

But her..to be almost 40..she....she looks so youthful. Lucky heffa. Good grief she's pretty! I guess when you look like that you can pull these rich young bucks, huh.. got even enough to take up with you while they still murried...

Okay..yes that was shade. I throw shade occassionally. ROFL!

I.cant.sleep. I'm going to be dying tomorrow.
Marah, my daughter is an only child and it wasn't until she made about 12 did she finally stop asking for a sibling (she is 17 now).
When she was little she told her father and I it wasn't fair, she doesn't have a brother or anyone "fun" to live with her, but her father and I have each other (meaning we are friends and we live together). That broke our hearts.
At the time she had a point, we had moved away from both our families to attend gradschool it was just us 3. I did feel bad (for a fleeting moment only) that I made a choice to not have any more children but I had to remain firm and make her understand children are expensive and to have one because today and tomorrow you are lonely is reckless. After repeating this and providing a few examples that would hit home with her.... if were a family of 4 we would have to shop differently, month long vacations would be different and less frequent, no more private schools and birthday celebrations would be different.

We were upfront, we laid out our goals as a family and when alll of that didn't work I got involved and we began hosting sleepovers with some of her friends....she was DONE lol. One of her friends mothers has 4 kids and I helped her out by keeping all 4 so she could work on a few long weekends...my daughter called my mom begging her to come get her. I even had my nephew (who is an only child and a few yrs younger) come and stay over the summer, my daughter packed his bags when my sister arrived to get him. I still do this though.

She no longer wishes for a sibling, instead she wanted and has 3 dogs which she is 100% responsible for (training them, making vet appts, walking, feeding, playing and making sure they don't go in my damn kitchen). My husband and I will only pay the bills associated with the dogs but she has to do everything else.

I'm sure your son will grow out of it very soon.


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Ma: "What Girl Scout Cookies do you want so I can place the order."
Me: "None because they have milk and eggs in them."
Ma: "oh."
Did you think this was a joke son??? *sigh* she means well I think it was a knee jerk reflex.


Curse you iPhone!!!
Originally Posted by gagirl09
I just came out of lurking to say that fwiw there are vegan girl scout cookies.

PETA says that the "Thanks-A-Lot, Shout Outs!, Lemonades, Daisy Go Rounds, and Peanut Butter Patties" are vegan.

I was just told this literally 15 minutes ago so I'm eager to spread the world.

Anywho back to lurking

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Originally Posted by redxalert
Thanks never heard of those flavors. I am a thin mint, samoas (sp?), trefoils, and lemon drop type of girl. Let me look into that


Curse you iPhone!!!
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