Oh my goodness..Chi-Town Kinks thank you so so much! I can't tell you how much better this made me feel. I had a very difficult time getting to sleep and when I did I had a fitful sleep. But getting up and reading this really helped me a lot! Not that the other advice didn't help but this got me to really THINK instead of being so emotional..I am certainly going to make sure he gets much more involved with friends and stops so many back to back activities.Marah, my daughter is an only child and it wasn't until she made about 12 did she finally stop asking for a sibling (she is 17 now).
When she was little she told her father and I it wasn't fair, she doesn't have a brother or anyone "fun" to live with her, but her father and I have each other (meaning we are friends and we live together). That broke our hearts.
At the time she had a point, we had moved away from both our families to attend gradschool it was just us 3. I did feel bad (for a fleeting moment only) that I made a choice to not have any more children but I had to remain firm and make her understand children are expensive and to have one because today and tomorrow you are lonely is reckless. After repeating this and providing a few examples that would hit home with her.... if were a family of 4 we would have to shop differently, month long vacations would be different and less frequent, no more private schools and birthday celebrations would be different.
We were upfront, we laid out our goals as a family and when alll of that didn't work I got involved and we began hosting sleepovers with some of her friends....she was DONE lol. One of her friends mothers has 4 kids and I helped her out by keeping all 4 so she could work on a few long weekends...my daughter called my mom begging her to come get her. I even had my nephew (who is an only child and a few yrs younger) come and stay over the summer, my daughter packed his bags when my sister arrived to get him. I still do this though.
She no longer wishes for a sibling, instead she wanted and has 3 dogs which she is 100% responsible for (training them, making vet appts, walking, feeding, playing and making sure they don't go in my damn kitchen). My husband and I will only pay the bills associated with the dogs but she has to do everything else.
I'm sure your son will grow out of it very soon.
vIa mY cURl TaLk ApP
But your words really helped me. Years ago I made a choice not to try to get pregnant again because I really did only want one child. Besides that the doctor was saying all this upsetting stuff about my reproductive organs...SMH. I wanted us to be able to provide for him a good Jewish home where we could afford to send him to a good Hebrew school (which costs an arm and a frikken leg) and us to attend a very good synagogue (thing about that is being members of a synagogue like ours cost and arm and a leg as well). I just wanted him to have all the advantages that we could set him up with...good neighborhood, good schools, college fund. All things we've been able to provide for him so far thank God.
Sure, it might be nice to have another child but there is just NO WAY my husband and I could afford to do for two children what we do for our son now. So maybe if explain this to him and make sure he's involved with his friends regularly that will help. And now that you've said it..I think our son just might react like your daughter. Cause he doesn't like to share a darn thing and if I'm nice to any other kids (like for instance I help out with his Hebrew class) he gives me and the other kids the side eye. One time he walked up cause some kid kept hugging me..pulled me away and said, "This is my mom..not sure where your mom is..." and had this look on his face:
He is a pistol! LOL! But what you said made me put things in perspective...I thought about what you said before I responded. My husband left the decision up to me on if we should try to get preggers again..after I snatched his azz awake last night (how come men sleep through this kind of stuff ?)! ROFL! And I think I better leave well enough alone. Because I have reproductive issues as it is..it was very difficult to carry and have my son..and we really did plan life around one child. So instead of putting us through that..which could be devastating..say I lose the baby (which I'm telling you would KILL me). I'm going to just make sure I do right by the child we have...and the best thing I can do is be open and honest with him about this...plus give him all the love and support I can muster which is A LOT if I don't say so myself.
Thank you for your advice it really really cleared my head! ((((((((((hugs Chi-Town Kinks))))))
And thank you to everyone that gave me advice, suggestions, commented. I SERIOUSLY appreciate it!
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