The New & Improved Say It I Dare You

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Thanks for all the support ladies. It's just that French is moving very slowly for me and my French may not be good enough to apply for school here in September. I'm trying to stay positive but after 3 months it's hard. I keep hearing about folks in their early 20's who're finishing there Bachelors and I'm going to have from scratch if I go to school here.

I'm just down and out right now.
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Im an only and it was lonely at times growing up. I had first cousins but they were jealous of me because i was my grandparents favorite. I begged my mom for a sibling but it never happened. I got over it but i am kind of jealous of people who have that sisterbff. Plus as my mom gets older and she has health problems and i know i will have to carry the responsibilty of seeing after her all alone. I live hours away. Have u considered adopting or foster care? I know people who do that. Dont jews have something similar to Catholic Social Services. My friend's brother and his wife adopted through them
*Marah* likes this.
"A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all." - Clive Davis
In regards to mothers of 1 child - was it your choice to only have one child or were there other factors involved?

(Marah, you posted that you had reproductive problems, but if that wasn't an issue, would you have had more?)

The reason I ask is that right now hubby & I have a 20-month old, with talk about fostering/adoption but in the future.

While talking about it the other night, I had to level with my husband and tell him that I'm simply not ready for another child right now, and I'm not sure when I will be ready. Although I reserve the right to change my mind, at this point in time, on Friday, January 20, 2012, I actually don't want any more children.

I hope that doesn't make me sound selfish. But I always said I didn't want any more children than I can afford... not just monetarily but most importantly, emotionally. I believe financially we can handle it, but I'm afraid that I don't have the emotional capability to "share" myself with another child right now. I would hate to bring another child into this world (or our home) and he or she feel unloved or unwanted.

Ah... I'm rambling so maybe I should stop right here. But to recap: to the mothers of just 1 child, what was your reasoning?
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Thanks for all the support ladies. It's just that French is moving very slowly for me and my French may not be good enough to apply for school here in September. I'm trying to stay positive but after 3 months it's hard. I keep hearing about folks in their early 20's who're finishing there Bachelors and I'm going to have from scratch if I go to school here.

I'm just down and out right now.
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
It took me fifteen years to finish my degree. My daughter was two and I was 31. An employer will look at your degree and your skills. Please stop comparing yourself to others. It is counterproductive. Instead, concentrate on your goal. You will do well, you are a strong person and you will succeed.
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God I am trying everything I know to stay in France right now. This is my last option for an undergraduate B.A degree in a major I actually want to study, and at 26 I feel like a failure everyday because I'm at least 4 years behind everyone else.

If I can't get into school here or work I don't know what I'll have left to do.
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! Please stop thinking that way - it's of the devil, I tell ya!!

If you're concerned that you're 26 and don't have your bachelor's, in MY personal experience, it doesn't matter. Employers just want to know if you have that paper and some experience, not how old you were when you got it.

I've learned to never associate age with goals. Life sometimes hands out curve balls so it may take a little longer than you'd like to reach a goal, but as long as you're striving for that goal you're never a failure.

As far as I'm concerned, pursuing a dream/goal NEVER has an age limit.

I think it's wonderful that you're living in France and pursuing your dream - and I think THAT'S what you should be focusing on -> YOU and the pursuit of YOUR dream. What you're doing takes a LOT of courage, whether @ 22, 26, or *ahem*...my age.

((((Sending prayers and high hopes your way that you achieve your goals!!!))))
Originally Posted by vegas_curls
*speaking in tongues right now* preach Vegas! Soliel you are not a failure my oldest sister had so many bumps in the road before she got her bachelor's at 28 or 29!! Keep pushing!!!


Curse you iPhone!!!
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Thanks for all the support ladies. It's just that French is moving very slowly for me and my French may not be good enough to apply for school here in September. I'm trying to stay positive but after 3 months it's hard. I keep hearing about folks in their early 20's who're finishing there Bachelors and I'm going to have from scratch if I go to school here.

I'm just down and out right now.
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
A lot of people are starting school "late" now. My mother just started college at 53. More and more people start school at a later age or end up going back to school for a higher degree or to finish. We can thank the economy for that in most cases, but no matter the reason, you should go to school whenever you want. As long as you are following your dreams and trying to do something that makes you happy. That is what really matters. I have many friends who have BAs or MAs and still live with their folks because they can't even find a job in their field of study. Don't be discouraged, just keep moving forward. At 26 you are still young. You have plenty of time to do what you would like to do.
Thanks for all the support ladies. It's just that French is moving very slowly for me and my French may not be good enough to apply for school here in September. I'm trying to stay positive but after 3 months it's hard. I keep hearing about folks in their early 20's who're finishing there Bachelors and I'm going to have from scratch if I go to school here.

I'm just down and out right now.
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
Are there any classes that you could take that are along the same lines of people that study abroad? I know many people that studied abroad in other countries and knew very little of the national language. Is there any chance that you could get into those types of classes or is that not an option?

Also, now that I was thinking about it, those types of classes are usually just general education stuff which you probably already have credits for? And I know in France college education is really competitive with the Grandes Ecoles and all. Blah

Goodluck!
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Originally Posted by FoxyCleopatraGuide
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In regards to mothers of 1 child - was it your choice to only have one child or were there other factors involved?

(Marah, you posted that you had reproductive problems, but if that wasn't an issue, would you have had more?)

The reason I ask is that right now hubby & I have a 20-month old, with talk about fostering/adoption but in the future.

While talking about it the other night, I had to level with my husband and tell him that I'm simply not ready for another child right now, and I'm not sure when I will be ready. Although I reserve the right to change my mind, at this point in time, on Friday, January 20, 2012, I actually don't want any more children.

I hope that doesn't make me sound selfish. But I always said I didn't want any more children than I can afford... not just monetarily but most importantly, emotionally. I believe financially we can handle it, but I'm afraid that I don't have the emotional capability to "share" myself with another child right now. I would hate to bring another child into this world (or our home) and he or she feel unloved or unwanted.

Ah... I'm rambling so maybe I should stop right here. But to recap: to the mothers of just 1 child, what was your reasoning?
Originally Posted by vegas_curls
I had reproductive problems and was told I couldn't have children. I was blessed to have my daughter, but was as a single parent. I didn't adopt after I had her, because I wanted to be able to afford to take care of her properly. You are not being selfish. Better to have one child that you can take care of financially and emotionally, than struggle with two or more.
NaturallyCJ likes this.

texture - medium/fine, porosity - low/normal, elasticity - normal
co-wash - NaturelleGrow Coconut Water or Marshmallow Root, Slippery Elm Bark & Blue Malva Cleansing Conditioners
LI - KCKT mixed w/ SM C & H Curl & Style Milk
DC - NG Mango & Coconut H2O or Chamomile/Brdck Root
Gel - SM souffle (winter), KCCC (summer) or CR Naturals Aloe Whipped Butter Gel (year round)
Sealers - Virgin Coconut Oil, Avocado butter, Aloe butter
Ayurvedic treatments - Jamila Henna, Sukesh, Aloe Vera Powder, Hibiscus Powder
.




I want to buy products, its calling my name
I just want to see the boxes arrive.sigh.

Yeahhhhhboi, Im on my smartphone!!!
It's hard to keep up with this thread.

I wonder why press tv was taken off the air.
I want to buy products, its calling my name
I just want to see the boxes arrive.sigh.

Yeahhhhhboi, Im on my smartphone!!!
Originally Posted by Cerendipity
Fight it...we got major shopping to do in April. Be strong. It won't be too long. I think this should be a...song. Am I wrong?

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In regards to mothers of 1 child - was it your choice to only have one child or were there other factors involved?

(Marah, you posted that you had reproductive problems, but if that wasn't an issue, would you have had more?)

The reason I ask is that right now hubby & I have a 20-month old, with talk about fostering/adoption but in the future.

While talking about it the other night, I had to level with my husband and tell him that I'm simply not ready for another child right now, and I'm not sure when I will be ready. Although I reserve the right to change my mind, at this point in time, on Friday, January 20, 2012, I actually don't want any more children.

I hope that doesn't make me sound selfish. But I always said I didn't want any more children than I can afford... not just monetarily but most importantly, emotionally. I believe financially we can handle it, but I'm afraid that I don't have the emotional capability to "share" myself with another child right now. I would hate to bring another child into this world (or our home) and he or she feel unloved or unwanted.

Ah... I'm rambling so maybe I should stop right here. But to recap: to the mothers of just 1 child, what was your reasoning?
Originally Posted by vegas_curls
I only wanted 1 child....to be brutally honest, I didn't want any kids. I don't ever regret having my daughter but kids weren't in the plans. While she wasn't planned I knew after her there would be no more and I made that clear to hubby. Over the years I've softened and the thought has crossed my mind a time or two but I had my tubes tied the day after her 5th birthday.

With all of this talk, I asked hubby if he wanted to adopt a child he said, "would I have to give up golf? I'm just starting to get good at golf."

vIa mY cURl TaLk ApP
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To all the only child people specifically (and anyone else that just wants to offer some opinion..)

My son is 8. He's an only child. And he expressed to me today that he feels very lonely and sad and wishes that I would have another child. And the look on this child's face..I mean my dayum soul hurt for him. He said he just doesn't understand why I won't give him a brother or sister..and it hurts him.

I didn't know what to say to him so I told him that his father and I love him very much and that we don't want him to feel lonely. Now I didn't say yes or no to another child. I just coddled him and he went off.

We've have similiar discussions before (like he's mentioned he'd like a sibling but I've always told him that he's the best kid in the world and he's all we need and my husband has basically told him that we didn't plan for more children) but he never seemed to express his desire for siblings with such sadness and pain in his eyes as he did today. As a mother that killed me..I mean killed me. So much so that I called my husband at work all upset and crying today.

We (my husband and I) discussed our son's feelings when he went to bed. My husband said that our son's circumstances weren't going to change and he's not sure what we can do about it besides love the boy. I'm not even sure I could conceive (I have some reproductive issues that I'd rather not disclose) and I don't even know if it's something we'd consider..we had no real plans for another child..especially not now...8 years into raising a child!

So my question is..how can I help my son ? It doesn't look like we are going to be able to have any more children. And I feel horrible for my son. I grew up with a brother and he and I were SUPER close and my husband had 5 other siblings....so we really can't relate to what he's going thru at all. But as a mother I'm so pained that my child is hurting like this..and as a mother it makes me feel like I failed him in some way.

I mean what can I do ? Do only children grow up to resent their parents ? Is it wrong to have a baby just so another child won't be so lonely..should I even go there..I can't imagine the money and effort it would take..UGH!

Is there something I can do to make this better for him ? How do only children cope ? I'm really at a loss...and I don't want to discuss this with my family and RL friends because I don't want to effin hear.."I told you so..told you that you should have tried to get preggers again right after him...now look!" Because I think I would really go off and end up saying and doing things that I can't take back.

Anyway..any help, advice, comments, whatever that ANY of you can offer..I'd appreciate it so so much. Because I'm extremely upset about this and can't even sleep. Yet my hubs is snoring. How do men do that ?

I am sorry if I sound like nut..I am a strong person but when it comes to my son..I just break. I adore him...probably to much.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
I went through that stage where I wanted another sibling, but it was kinda for selfish reasons. My parents were older and over-protective compared to my friends' parents, so I felt a sibling would take some of the attention off me. My relatives lived in other states, so my friends were all I had. When I whined like the 3rd time about a sibling, my mom explained that they tried to have another one. I was surprised to learn they tried, and I never mentioned it again, and I never resented them. Looks like I'll be explaining the same thing to my daughter.

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