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Old 02-15-2012, 08:18 PM   #5441
 
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@Artemis, I agree that the overall picture is a fcuked up one, but the issue here is colorism. And like alot of yall have said, it's worse internally. If we amongst ourselves are still buying into it, why would anyone else clean up their act. It's like "oh, if you are gonna outright call your sister a hoe, then don't get mad cause I call her one". Sure, they started it, but we have picked it up, ran with it, made it dinner and read it a bedtime story. We perpetuate it and really it has to stop. I refuse to blame my neighbor for the mess in my yard. We have to clean up our own sh*t, even if they're throwing shade too. Then it becomes more obvious it's "their issue". And I know you can't erase hundreds of years of indoctrination, which we then took upon ourselves to keep passing down. But it has to stop with us first. We can't begin to demand that the media or government (or world for that matter) change racist ideas and standards of beauty if we internally can't stop doing it to ourselves. It start with loving ourselves individually, then as families, communities, and a then a nation. But when you have people running out and buying perms, bleaching creams, and nose jobs......I'm just sayin. We are the biggest destroyers of "us".

ETA: re read what Artemis wrote(I should have quoted, duh)

The bottom line in all of this(government fcukery, colorism, war, etc.) is that we are gullible as people. We have been told lies as a country(we're ugly or worthless, we're destined to be poor, this group feels a way about the other, etc) and we internalized them. We don't even know ourselves so how can we love ourselves enough to not listen to the lies? Even other groups have their lies they believe about themselves. Why? So we can be so busy fighting over petty crap that we can't see what is really happening. We have become sheep, following what people tell us to believe about whatever, cause it's easier. If a wolf comes in a takes 10 sheep from a flock, the shepherd will notice. But let him take one here, another next week, another in a year...you look up and everything is gone. That's this country right now. Alright...Imma sit down.
I agree with you though, but then again I agree with CK too that with the media and things, it's very difficult to get everyone to fight.
Exactly, its very difficult to come together and "get over it" when the disconnect is there. Lighter skinned black folks thinking there is no more racism and darker skinned folks are whiners, jealous or angry. The divide is there and in order for us to come together we need to be on the same playing field and stop telling an each other what is or isn't.

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Old 02-15-2012, 08:21 PM   #5442
 
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@Artemis, I agree that the overall picture is a fcuked up one, but the issue here is colorism. And like alot of yall have said, it's worse internally. If we amongst ourselves are still buying into it, why would anyone else clean up their act. It's like "oh, if you are gonna outright call your sister a hoe, then don't get mad cause I call her one". Sure, they started it, but we have picked it up, ran with it, made it dinner and read it a bedtime story. We perpetuate it and really it has to stop. I refuse to blame my neighbor for the mess in my yard. We have to clean up our own sh*t, even if they're throwing shade too. Then it becomes more obvious it's "their issue". And I know you can't erase hundreds of years of indoctrination, which we then took upon ourselves to keep passing down. But it has to stop with us first. We can't begin to demand that the media or government (or world for that matter) change racist ideas and standards of beauty if we internally can't stop doing it to ourselves. It start with loving ourselves individually, then as families, communities, and a then a nation. But when you have people running out and buying perms, bleaching creams, and nose jobs......I'm just sayin. We are the biggest destroyers of "us".
Why not, at the bolded? These are grown asz people with grown asz minds. Just because I see a stranger beating up on someone else doesn't mean I have to go out and find ANOTHER stranger to beat up because I saw them doing it. I have a brain and a moral compass, and so do the racists we're talking about. .Yep, black people have plenty mo' issues. Those issues may be tangential to other people's issues...but we're not the cause. Everybody has to own their isht.
Cause we don't have a leg to stand on. Look at what has happened so far. I will never discredit the individual level struggle. But this is a massive, long time, deeply rooted machine. How serious would you take someone who is a hypocrite? We don't mean business. The so called natural hair movement is a start. Cause the women are actually practicing what they preach. That to me is the best show of resolve. What I look like talking about loving my hair as I was born, if I'm slapping on the creamy erry 6 weeks? You would think, "what the hell she know about natural hair, she don't even have it". Ijs...
People argue along the same lines for 'us' to stop using the n-word. It's hypocritical.
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Old 02-15-2012, 08:28 PM   #5443
 
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Why not, at the bolded? These are grown asz people with grown asz minds. Just because I see a stranger beating up on someone else doesn't mean I have to go out and find ANOTHER stranger to beat up because I saw them doing it. I have a brain and a moral compass, and so do the racists we're talking about. .Yep, black people have plenty mo' issues. Those issues may be tangential to other people's issues...but we're not the cause. Everybody has to own their isht.
Cause we don't have a leg to stand on. Look at what has happened so far. I will never discredit the individual level struggle. But this is a massive, long time, deeply rooted machine. How serious would you take someone who is a hypocrite? We don't mean business. The so called natural hair movement is a start. Cause the women are actually practicing what they preach. That to me is the best show of resolve. What I look like talking about loving my hair as I was born, if I'm slapping on the creamy erry 6 weeks? You would think, "what the hell she know about natural hair, she don't even have it". Ijs...
People argue along the same lines for 'us' to stop using the n-word. It's hypocritical.
Yup, that't why it went "mainstream". If we can do it, why can't they? It's a bs argument, but it works cause we allow it to by participating.
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Old 02-15-2012, 08:33 PM   #5444
 
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I agree to a point that we do need to begin working on this issue within our community BUT "getting over it" isn't how I would preceive working on eradicating this issue. While many may be happy to claim their non-black blood there are many who's skin complexion is lighter but not by choice and that is hard to "get over."

I do agree our government sees us as 1 regardless of skin tone and we do need to rise above our differences in order to keep from continuing to be "screwed."
But that's what I mean by "getting over it". Accepting the fact that we are all POC and stop pitting this whole skin tone issue against eachother. I get that's not going to happen over night..but when is enough enough ? It's not a week that goes by that I don't hear or read from someone black having a hissy fit over someone skin tone or hair texture or some issue surrounding those things. It's like.. okay so what they are dark..so what they are light. Big deal.

That's something that I see POC feeding into more so than others..because frankly others look at us as all negros anyway. And they don't give a darn if you light, medium, dark or whatever else. Ya negro.

I think these white folks are trying to sell a product and are using Beyonce for that reason and that reason alone..$$$.They know she's popular, they know people want to look like her or like her look (black, white, and everything else). So they know she's money in the bank.

I don't think they have this big agenda of making darker skin women feel a certain way or suggesting that mixed race people are prettier. I think POC tend to gravitate to those ideas because of the unfortunate and terrible history concerning skin complexion in the Amerian black community..just like the whole hair issue.

Now yeah..folks can say.."Well the white man started it.." And that they did.. but when the heck POC gonna stand up and say enough of this bs ? And yes.. I know that's a pipe dream just like it's a pipe dream to say the "good hair syndrome" is going anywhere. But I gotta be honest.. I just don't see the benefit in focusing on those things. Hashing them out is one thing..dwelling and wallowing in them is another.
It is very hard to get over it if it is in an individual's face everyday. Pick up any white magazine that has a black person on the cover....has their skin been altered? Has their physical appearance been altered? Yep, on the television Beyonce is the picture of beauty and even she is being altered to a more european look. Statisically, white people are more prone to standing next to a lighter skinned man than a darker skinned man...why?? This isn't just black folks against black folks...white folks play a huge role in continuing this issue. Darker skinned people are viewed in a more negative light...we are angry, we are thugs, we are wild animals....that is wrong.
But everyone is altered in some way on a magazine..and yes I do think skin tones are altered on white people on the cover of magazines as well as Latinos.. and it depends on the lighting. I think their features are altered at well. In fact, I know they are because I've seen and read detail on how these people do it on computers with photo editing on all these folks in magz reguardless of race.

I get your sentiment though when it comes to black people and this issue. I think (and I could be mistaken so feel free to correct) this is more of an issue for you (and maybe some others here) because people that look more like you aren't accepted as they are.. (?)..their beauty is not acknowledged and ignored.

Sure, I definitely think whites and others see a lighter skinned POC less threatening (hell many blacks do as well) but as far as dwelling on the issue of skin tone among POC in the way POC do and as much.. I just don't buy it. But sure, I can agree that generally others see lighter skinned blacks or blacks that visibly look like.."something else" as more attractive. And sure, I think it has much to do with the white standard of beauty..,.that MANY black folks have bought into in the USA hook, line, and sinker. But honestly, I'm just saying what I have observed with black people in general on this issue.

Having said that, I'm willing to have an open mind about it (I'm reading all the comments) and see what others have experienced or have to say on it.
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Old 02-15-2012, 08:36 PM   #5445
 
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@Artemis, I agree that the overall picture is a fcuked up one, but the issue here is colorism. And like alot of yall have said, it's worse internally. If we amongst ourselves are still buying into it, why would anyone else clean up their act. It's like "oh, if you are gonna outright call your sister a hoe, then don't get mad cause I call her one". Sure, they started it, but we have picked it up, ran with it, made it dinner and read it a bedtime story. We perpetuate it and really it has to stop. I refuse to blame my neighbor for the mess in my yard. We have to clean up our own sh*t, even if they're throwing shade too. Then it becomes more obvious it's "their issue". And I know you can't erase hundreds of years of indoctrination, which we then took upon ourselves to keep passing down. But it has to stop with us first. We can't begin to demand that the media or government (or world for that matter) change racist ideas and standards of beauty if we internally can't stop doing it to ourselves. It start with loving ourselves individually, then as families, communities, and a then a nation. But when you have people running out and buying perms, bleaching creams, and nose jobs......I'm just sayin. We are the biggest destroyers of "us".
Why not, at the bolded? These are grown asz people with grown asz minds. Just because I see a stranger beating up on someone else doesn't mean I have to go out and find ANOTHER stranger to beat up because I saw them doing it. I have a brain and a moral compass, and so do the racists we're talking about. .Yep, black people have plenty mo' issues. Those issues may be tangential to other people's issues...but we're not the cause. Everybody has to own their isht.
Cause we don't have a leg to stand on. Look at what has happened so far. I will never discredit the individual level struggle. But this is a massive, long time, deeply rooted machine. How serious would you take someone who is a hypocrite? We don't mean business. The so called natural hair movement is a start. Cause the women are actually practicing what they preach. That to me is the best show of resolve. What I look like talking about loving my hair as I was born, if I'm slapping on the creamy erry 6 weeks? You would think, "what the hell she know about natural hair, she don't even have it". Ijs...
I think, if we're going to ask black people to step up and own their role in continuing colorism, racism, whatever you want to call it despite the original spark lit by white people....it's hypocritical to exempt white folks from owning their own role in making our society the racist isht show it is. We shouldn't need a leg to stand on when it comes to people making their own choices....those people have their own legS to stand on. We're not talking about children that need to be led by example.

It would be suicidal to wait for allll the black troops to rally behind the flag of self-love before those of us who ARE aware attack external sources of hatred. We can't wait for that. Especially when the external forces are so much more powerful than the internal haters. Since you brought up the hair example, this is why I don't give a damn when black people tell me my hair is unprofessional or whatever. Sometimes black people are so busy tearing each other down verbally, they don't even have time to accrue social capital and actually DO something with their hatred. Meanwhile, the white people who we would, apparently be hypocrites to condemn, are literally discriminating against us and making life harder. I'll take a black isht talker over a white racist (necessarily in a position of power) any day.
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Old 02-15-2012, 08:38 PM   #5446
 
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@Artemis, I agree that the overall picture is a fcuked up one, but the issue here is colorism. And like alot of yall have said, it's worse internally. If we amongst ourselves are still buying into it, why would anyone else clean up their act. It's like "oh, if you are gonna outright call your sister a hoe, then don't get mad cause I call her one". Sure, they started it, but we have picked it up, ran with it, made it dinner and read it a bedtime story. We perpetuate it and really it has to stop. I refuse to blame my neighbor for the mess in my yard. We have to clean up our own sh*t, even if they're throwing shade too. Then it becomes more obvious it's "their issue". And I know you can't erase hundreds of years of indoctrination, which we then took upon ourselves to keep passing down. But it has to stop with us first. We can't begin to demand that the media or government (or world for that matter) change racist ideas and standards of beauty if we internally can't stop doing it to ourselves. It start with loving ourselves individually, then as families, communities, and a then a nation. But when you have people running out and buying perms, bleaching creams, and nose jobs......I'm just sayin. We are the biggest destroyers of "us".


ETA: re read what Artemis wrote(I should have quoted, duh)


The bottom line in all of this(government fcukery, colorism, war, etc.) is that we are gullible as people. We have been told lies as a country(we're ugly or worthless, we're destined to be poor, this group feels a way about the other, etc) and we internalized them. We don't even know ourselves so how can we love ourselves enough to not listen to the lies? Even other groups have their lies they believe about themselves. Why? So we can be so busy fighting over petty crap that we can't see what is really happening. We have become sheep, following what people tell us to believe about whatever, cause it's easier. If a wolf comes in a takes 10 sheep from a flock, the shepherd will notice. But let him take one here, another next week, another in a year...you look up and everything is gone. That's this country right now. Alright...Imma sit down.
No.. you don't need to sit down no where. Excellent post..just excellent.
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Old 02-15-2012, 08:50 PM   #5447
 
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Why not, at the bolded? These are grown asz people with grown asz minds. Just because I see a stranger beating up on someone else doesn't mean I have to go out and find ANOTHER stranger to beat up because I saw them doing it. I have a brain and a moral compass, and so do the racists we're talking about. .Yep, black people have plenty mo' issues. Those issues may be tangential to other people's issues...but we're not the cause. Everybody has to own their isht.
Cause we don't have a leg to stand on. Look at what has happened so far. I will never discredit the individual level struggle. But this is a massive, long time, deeply rooted machine. How serious would you take someone who is a hypocrite? We don't mean business. The so called natural hair movement is a start. Cause the women are actually practicing what they preach. That to me is the best show of resolve. What I look like talking about loving my hair as I was born, if I'm slapping on the creamy erry 6 weeks? You would think, "what the hell she know about natural hair, she don't even have it". Ijs...
I think, if we're going to ask black people to step up and own their role in continuing colorism, racism, whatever you want to call it despite the original spark lit by white people....it's hypocritical to exempt white folks from owning their own role in making our society the racist isht show it is. We shouldn't need a leg to stand on when it comes to people making their own choices....those people have their own legS to stand on. We're not talking about children that need to be led by example.

It would be suicidal to wait for allll the black troops to rally behind the flag of self-love before those of us who ARE aware attack external sources of hatred. We can't wait for that. Especially when the external forces are so much more powerful than the internal haters. Since you brought up the hair example, this is why I don't give a damn when black people tell me my hair is unprofessional or whatever. Sometimes black people are so busy tearing each other down verbally, they don't even have time to accrue social capital and actually DO something with their hatred. Meanwhile, the white people who we would, apparently be hypocrites to condemn, are literally discriminating against us and making life harder. I'll take a black isht talker over a white racist (necessarily in a position of power) any day.
@the bolded....I don't see why. Cause the way I see it, an outsider doesn't know what it is to be black. Their opinion is pure speculation.It's ignorance. But if a POC knows better and continue to perpetuate, then it's stupidity. That's what I'm saying. Whites are not absolved of guilt. But we know better and we still participate. That's a problem bigger that what an outsider thinks of us. That's my point. Sure we could say let's start working on them, but we are the best example of how to treat us. If we don't know, tolerate, and understand ourselves, how can we expect someone else to? I'm not saying to not condemn them, but we have to clean up at home before we can tackle the street. I used the hair thing, cause most of us can relate. But it pertains to anything. Would you listen to hair stylist with fcuked up hair? No, cause if she can't even take care of her own do, why would I take her advice about mine.

Btw, I'm very pleased with the direction of the convo
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Old 02-15-2012, 08:53 PM   #5448
 
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But that's what I mean by "getting over it". Accepting the fact that we are all POC and stop pitting this whole skin tone issue against eachother. I get that's not going to happen over night..but when is enough enough ? It's not a week that goes by that I don't hear or read from someone black having a hissy fit over someone skin tone or hair texture or some issue surrounding those things. It's like.. okay so what they are dark..so what they are light. Big deal.

That's something that I see POC feeding into more so than others..because frankly others look at us as all negros anyway. And they don't give a darn if you light, medium, dark or whatever else. Ya negro.

I think these white folks are trying to sell a product and are using Beyonce for that reason and that reason alone..$$$.They know she's popular, they know people want to look like her or like her look (black, white, and everything else). So they know she's money in the bank.

I don't think they have this big agenda of making darker skin women feel a certain way or suggesting that mixed race people are prettier. I think POC tend to gravitate to those ideas because of the unfortunate and terrible history concerning skin complexion in the Amerian black community..just like the whole hair issue.

Now yeah..folks can say.."Well the white man started it.." And that they did.. but when the heck POC gonna stand up and say enough of this bs ? And yes.. I know that's a pipe dream just like it's a pipe dream to say the "good hair syndrome" is going anywhere. But I gotta be honest.. I just don't see the benefit in focusing on those things. Hashing them out is one thing..dwelling and wallowing in them is another.
It is very hard to get over it if it is in an individual's face everyday. Pick up any white magazine that has a black person on the cover....has their skin been altered? Has their physical appearance been altered? Yep, on the television Beyonce is the picture of beauty and even she is being altered to a more european look. Statisically, white people are more prone to standing next to a lighter skinned man than a darker skinned man...why?? This isn't just black folks against black folks...white folks play a huge role in continuing this issue. Darker skinned people are viewed in a more negative light...we are angry, we are thugs, we are wild animals....that is wrong.
But everyone is altered in some way on a magazine..and yes I do think skin tones are altered on white people on the cover of magazines as well as Latinos.. and it depends on the lighting. I think their features are altered at well. In fact, I know they are because I've seen and read detail on how these people do it on computers with photo editing on all these folks in magz reguardless of race.

I get your sentiment though when it comes to black people and this issue. I think (and I could be mistaken so feel free to correct) this is more of an issue for you (and maybe some others here) because people that look more like you aren't accepted as they are.. (?)..their beauty is not acknowledged and ignored.

Sure, I definitely think whites and others see a lighter skinned POC less threatening (hell many blacks do as well) but as far as dwelling on the issue of skin tone among POC in the way POC do and as much.. I just don't buy it. But sure, I can agree that generally others see lighter skinned blacks or blacks that visibly look like.."something else" as more attractive. And sure, I think it has much to do with the white standard of beauty..,.that MANY black folks have bought into in the USA hook, line, and sinker. But honestly, I'm just saying what I have observed with black people in general on this issue.

Having said that, I'm willing to have an open mind about it (I'm reading all the comments) and see what others have experienced or have to say on it.
To be honest, I have never experienced any form of racism but I know it exists. I'm not what one would consider dark, my mother is mixed, I've got light brown eyes which change color depending on the amount of sleep I've had. My husband and I both have ivy league educations but none of this sets us apart from the chick with a GED. In my mind and my husbands I'm beautiful but many women don't feel this way and most don't have anyone to tell them so. Now should people rely on the "media" to tell them anything, no BUT do we yes...hence Beyonce, Nikki Minaj's popularity. My thing is, POC aren't whining or making this stuff up, this is real life to a lot of people...maybe not your life but its someone's life.

You go hard for Jews, I go just as hard for black folks. I'm not dismissing or saying I don't buy anything related to Jews...so we can agree to disagree on this one, plus its past my bedtime lol.

Eta: removal of a sentence that wasn't totally accurate. I need to be sleep lol.

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Last edited by Chicago Kinks; 02-15-2012 at 09:25 PM.
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Old 02-15-2012, 08:53 PM   #5449
 
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I just heard the most disappointing story!

Ugh I missed my cousin's graduation because I had to work. But my aunt was missed the entire graduation FOR NO REASON!!! Showed up sooo late that the entire thing was over! Didn't have an excuse...barely even cared!

THAT'S YOUR SON'S GRADUATION!!! I feel sooo bad for my cousin. He was completely disappointed but tried not to show it. Smh, people just don't know how to be parents.
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Old 02-15-2012, 08:58 PM   #5450
 
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I just heard the most disappointing story!

Ugh I missed my cousin's graduation because I had to work. But my aunt was missed the entire graduation FOR NO REASON!!! Showed up sooo late that the entire thing was over! Didn't have an excuse...barely even cared!
I got to this part and was like DAYUUUUM! She said her cousin and her aunt! Does this mean that this boy's mama missed her son's graduation???!

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THAT'S YOUR SON'S GRADUATION!!! I feel sooo bad for my cousin. He was completely disappointed but tried not to show it. Smh, people just don't know how to be parents.
Then I got here and was just done I woulda cried like a baby, ON the stage if my mother missed my graduation Like, mama why have you forsaken me?! Sad stuff
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Old 02-15-2012, 09:14 PM   #5451
 
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D'Angelo - Untitled - YouTube

I've watched this video like 5 times....today
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Old 02-15-2012, 09:25 PM   #5452
 
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It is very hard to get over it if it is in an individual's face everyday. Pick up any white magazine that has a black person on the cover....has their skin been altered? Has their physical appearance been altered? Yep, on the television Beyonce is the picture of beauty and even she is being altered to a more european look. Statisically, white people are more prone to standing next to a lighter skinned man than a darker skinned man...why?? This isn't just black folks against black folks...white folks play a huge role in continuing this issue. Darker skinned people are viewed in a more negative light...we are angry, we are thugs, we are wild animals....that is wrong.
But everyone is altered in some way on a magazine..and yes I do think skin tones are altered on white people on the cover of magazines as well as Latinos.. and it depends on the lighting. I think their features are altered at well. In fact, I know they are because I've seen and read detail on how these people do it on computers with photo editing on all these folks in magz reguardless of race.

I get your sentiment though when it comes to black people and this issue. I think (and I could be mistaken so feel free to correct) this is more of an issue for you (and maybe some others here) because people that look more like you aren't accepted as they are.. (?)..their beauty is not acknowledged and ignored.

Sure, I definitely think whites and others see a lighter skinned POC less threatening (hell many blacks do as well) but as far as dwelling on the issue of skin tone among POC in the way POC do and as much.. I just don't buy it. But sure, I can agree that generally others see lighter skinned blacks or blacks that visibly look like.."something else" as more attractive. And sure, I think it has much to do with the white standard of beauty..,.that MANY black folks have bought into in the USA hook, line, and sinker. But honestly, I'm just saying what I have observed with black people in general on this issue.

Having said that, I'm willing to have an open mind about it (I'm reading all the comments) and see what others have experienced or have to say on it.
To be honest, I have never experienced any form of racism but I know it exists. I'm not what one would consider dark, my mother is mixed, I've got light brown eyes which change color depending on the amount of sleep I've had. My husband and I both have ivy league educations but none of this sets us apart from the chick with a GED. In my mind and my husbands I'm beautiful but many women don't feel this way and most don't have anyone to tell them so. Now should people rely on the "media" to tell them anything, no BUT do we yes...hence Beyonce, Nikki Minaj's popularity. My thing is, POC aren't whining or making this stuff up, this is real life to a lot of people...maybe not your life but its someone's life.

You go hard for Jews, I go just as hard for black folks. I'm not dismissing or saying I don't buy anything related to Jews and I don't think you should either...so we can agree to disagree on this one, plus its past my bedtime lol.

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Well I definitely don't think POC are making this up. I've been a witness to what you are conveying. I have no clue when you came here if it was before or after I did but I can recall being one of the first people to say on here during a discussion over in this section ..in the 4a section... that light skinned people get privileges all the time that dark skinned people don't..and I used the example of light skinned women in the club and a dark skinned woman in the club. We had a long discussion on it..

So no.. I don't think blacks imagine these things at all. That certainly wasn't my point or implication. Basically Kinky DaySha summed up my sentiments on it.

And yes.. I go hard for Jews because culturally that's how I was raised and how I live as an adult. But you best believe I comprehend and understand that when it comes right down to it.. white folks (white Jews included) and others see me as just another negro...and all that comes with that..and my black mother (though mixed but she identified as black) made SURE I comprehended that well.

So what you are saying isn't falling on deaf ears..I get it.

But yes..I do understand being what I am has afforded me certain privileges that a lot of other POC aren't afforded..and well being Jewish and being heavily involved in a tight Jewish community.. I'm not gonna front it certainly hasn't been a disadvantage. Given, I do think people ..particularly those of color find that out about me..and suddenly I don't comprehend what it means to be black. Which is BS. You said you've never experienced racism..I'm glad to hear it..you've been blessed.. but I HAVE experienced racism..and it damn sure wasn't because I'm Jewish.
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Old 02-15-2012, 09:26 PM   #5453
 
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bish please/heaux sit down...

my BIL's wife (yes, the BIL who killed my SO) sent me an email today about how horrible my SO was and how i need to reach out to him. umm, wtf?
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Old 02-15-2012, 09:35 PM   #5454
 
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But everyone is altered in some way on a magazine..and yes I do think skin tones are altered on white people on the cover of magazines as well as Latinos.. and it depends on the lighting. I think their features are altered at well. In fact, I know they are because I've seen and read detail on how these people do it on computers with photo editing on all these folks in magz reguardless of race.

I get your sentiment though when it comes to black people and this issue. I think (and I could be mistaken so feel free to correct) this is more of an issue for you (and maybe some others here) because people that look more like you aren't accepted as they are.. (?)..their beauty is not acknowledged and ignored.

Sure, I definitely think whites and others see a lighter skinned POC less threatening (hell many blacks do as well) but as far as dwelling on the issue of skin tone among POC in the way POC do and as much.. I just don't buy it. But sure, I can agree that generally others see lighter skinned blacks or blacks that visibly look like.."something else" as more attractive. And sure, I think it has much to do with the white standard of beauty..,.that MANY black folks have bought into in the USA hook, line, and sinker. But honestly, I'm just saying what I have observed with black people in general on this issue.

Having said that, I'm willing to have an open mind about it (I'm reading all the comments) and see what others have experienced or have to say on it.
To be honest, I have never experienced any form of racism but I know it exists. I'm not what one would consider dark, my mother is mixed, I've got light brown eyes which change color depending on the amount of sleep I've had. My husband and I both have ivy league educations but none of this sets us apart from the chick with a GED. In my mind and my husbands I'm beautiful but many women don't feel this way and most don't have anyone to tell them so. Now should people rely on the "media" to tell them anything, no BUT do we yes...hence Beyonce, Nikki Minaj's popularity. My thing is, POC aren't whining or making this stuff up, this is real life to a lot of people...maybe not your life but its someone's life.

You go hard for Jews, I go just as hard for black folks. I'm not dismissing or saying I don't buy anything related to Jews and I don't think you should either...so we can agree to disagree on this one, plus its past my bedtime lol.

vIa mY cURl TaLk ApP
Well I definitely don't think POC are making this up. I've been a witness to what you are conveying. I have no clue when you came here if it was before or after I did but I can recall being one of the first people to say on here during a discussion over in this section ..in the 4a section... that light skinned people get privileges all the time that dark skinned people don't..and I used the example of light skinned women in the club and a dark skinned woman in the club. We had a long discussion on it..

So no.. I don't think blacks imagine these things at all. That certainly wasn't my point or implication. Basically Kinky DaySha summed up my sentiments on it.

And yes.. I go hard for Jews because culturally that's how I was raised and how I live as an adult. But you best believe I comprehend and understand that when it comes right down to it.. white folks (white Jews included) and others see me as just another negro...and all that comes with that..and my black mother (though mixed but she identified as black) made SURE I comprehended that well.

So what you are saying isn't falling on deaf ears..I get it.

But yes..I do understand being what I am has afforded me certain privileges that a lot of other POC aren't afforded..and well being Jewish and being heavily involved in a tight Jewish community.. I'm not gonna front it certainly hasn't been a disadvantage. Given, I do think people ..particularly those of color find that out about me..and suddenly I don't comprehend what it means to be black. Which is BS. You said you've never experienced racism..I'm glad to hear it..you've been blessed.. but I HAVE experienced racism..and it damn sure wasn't because I'm Jewish.
This is what I'm talkin bout right here.....perfect response!!!! I was kind of worried for a minute lol. I see now you DO understand what I'm saying. Yayyy

I remember reading that club stuff but I don't chime in on a lot of stuff especially race related issues....I'm on the militant side and I know this.

See I'm supposed to be sleep but noooo I'm up reading yalls posts.

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Old 02-15-2012, 09:37 PM   #5455
 
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bish please/heaux sit down...

my BIL's wife (yes, the BIL who killed my SO) sent me an email today about how horrible my SO was and how i need to reach out to him. umm, wtf?
Are you effin kidding me right now ? WOW.

First of all.. how the hell is she going to email you and tell you to reach out. Last I checked you are without a husband and your kids are without their damn Daddy. So how she figure ?

If anything THEY should be reaching out to you and the kids..breaking their neck to do so.

Did your BIL even ever get any criminal consequences for what happened ?

ETA: Oh..and let me just add that I feel it's real damn janky to dog out your deceased darn husband (at the hands of hers) and then ask YOU to do something for their benefit. Is this lady out her damn mind...maybe she had one to many damn sips of the Cognac today. IDK

Oh yeah..it is really bish please and heaux sit down alright. Cause she really done got CLEAR outta pocket.
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Old 02-15-2012, 09:38 PM   #5456
 
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bish please/heaux sit down...

my BIL's wife (yes, the BIL who killed my SO) sent me an email today about how horrible my SO was and how i need to reach out to him. umm, wtf?
'SO'?
Edit - never mind, significant other right? I don't think I understand the situation properly (it sounds like you're saying someone killed your partner and is now *****ing to you about them - which makes no sense!), so I'm going to mind my own business. But (((hugs))) and strength to you anyway.
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Old 02-15-2012, 09:40 PM   #5457
 
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bish please/heaux sit down...

my BIL's wife (yes, the BIL who killed my SO) sent me an email today about how horrible my SO was and how i need to reach out to him. umm, wtf?
'SO'?
OMG, please not significant other....oh no that is freaking horrible.

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Old 02-15-2012, 09:42 PM   #5458
 
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bish please/heaux sit down...

my BIL's wife (yes, the BIL who killed my SO) sent me an email today about how horrible my SO was and how i need to reach out to him. umm, wtf?
'SO'?
SO= significant other

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Old 02-15-2012, 09:44 PM   #5459
 
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bish please/heaux sit down...

my BIL's wife (yes, the BIL who killed my SO) sent me an email today about how horrible my SO was and how i need to reach out to him. umm, wtf?
'SO'?
SO= significant other

I thought so, but reading the post did not make sense in my head. How can this happen?? How can she stand it? I must be misunderstanding. I don't even know what to say.
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Old 02-15-2012, 10:03 PM   #5460
 
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I just heard the most disappointing story!

Ugh I missed my cousin's graduation because I had to work. But my aunt was missed the entire graduation FOR NO REASON!!! Showed up sooo late that the entire thing was over! Didn't have an excuse...barely even cared!
I got to this part and was like DAYUUUUM! She said her cousin and her aunt! Does this mean that this boy's mama missed her son's graduation???!

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THAT'S YOUR SON'S GRADUATION!!! I feel sooo bad for my cousin. He was completely disappointed but tried not to show it. Smh, people just don't know how to be parents.
Then I got here and was just done I woulda cried like a baby, ON the stage if my mother missed my graduation Like, mama why have you forsaken me?! Sad stuff
shoot, I wanted to cry for him!!! Like your own mother?? smh. At least he had his 2 aunts (my mom included), our grandma and his sister there...but still like your mom HAS to be there.
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