The New & Improved Say It I Dare You - Page 285

AmberBrown · 02-17-2012, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicago Kinks

*confused*

This chick just said to me, "girrrlll, you husband know he be casket sharp!"

WTH???

vIa mY cURl TaLk ApP

*dead*

But not the casket sort of dead. More like hahahahahahahahahahaha bust a gut laughing dead. I feel like I've heard that saying before so it was probably a compliment and not a death curse.

AmberBrown · 02-17-2012, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jo Somebody

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurlyElectra

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmberBrown

I'm pretty sure that women taking their husbands' last name is a throwback from the time when women were considered their spouse's property. If a man EVER gets pushy with me about taking his name, I'm gonna ask him why the hell something that has such ignorant roots is so important to him. Some traditions aren't worth carrying on.

My ex was the same way. We were no where near getting married but we talked about it and I told him that I wouldn't take his name and he was p.o.ed. He told me that was what is normal and he didn't understand why I wanted to stray from that. I told him that because something is a societal norm does not make it right. That's fine if not taking his name is a deal breaker for him, because taking it is a deal breaker for me.

Just out of interest, what surname would your children have?

Some could have his name, some could have my name. If we only had one child, the parent with the least amount of family could give their name to her/him (carry on the name). Or the parent with the name with the most social clout (since last names are all about functioning in society) would give their name.

All of that seems fairer than the kid automatically carrying the father's name. My family name means something too! Considering how important legacy and heritage is to people, I think it's amazing how many women are cool with erasing their surnames.

I wonder how cultures who never had this tradition deal with it.

Chicago Kinks · 02-17-2012, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmberBrown

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicago Kinks

*confused*

This chick just said to me, "girrrlll, you husband know he be casket sharp!"

WTH???

vIa mY cURl TaLk ApP

*dead*

But not the casket sort of dead. More like hahahahahahahahahahaha bust a gut laughing dead. I feel like I've heard that saying before so it was probably a compliment and not a death curse.

I took it as a compliment, I even laughed after I thought about it.

It was funny as hell the way she said it.

vIa mY cURl TaLk ApP

ss40 · 02-17-2012, 06:06 PM

I guess the ouidad certified stylist didn't think she was up for the task on my hair. She did some carving & slicing but she seemed uncomfortable with my texture. She referred me to another stylist, one who "looks like me" for my next visit. I'm a little hurt but I'll move on.

soleilmoncur · 02-17-2012, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmberBrown

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jo Somebody

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurlyElectra

My ex was the same way. We were no where near getting married but we talked about it and I told him that I wouldn't take his name and he was p.o.ed. He told me that was what is normal and he didn't understand why I wanted to stray from that. I told him that because something is a societal norm does not make it right. That's fine if not taking his name is a deal breaker for him, because taking it is a deal breaker for me.

Just out of interest, what surname would your children have?

Some could have his name, some could have my name. If we only had one child, the parent with the least amount of family could give their name to her/him (carry on the name). Or the parent with the name with the most social clout (since last names are all about functioning in society) would give their name.

All of that seems fairer than the kid automatically carrying the father's name. My family name means something too! Considering how important legacy and heritage is to people, I think it's amazing how many women are cool with erasing their surnames.

I wonder how cultures who never had this tradition deal with it.

I love this post so much. I love my last name but Moncur was my grandmothers maiden name so I use it in almost everything I do. It represents an important part of my heritage, and while I can't have that as my last name I can make damn sure my children carry on my families name.

And I hate that "femi-nazi" nonsense because I choose not to carry my husband's name and forget my own history. The Jolie-Pitts are quite fine, or is this a privilege for rich white women only? Don't let me get an advanced degree before I get married either. I'm going be Dr.*Insert maiden name here* until I die and it will still be written on my tombstone.

AmberBrown · 02-17-2012, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sienna40

U guess the ouidad certified stylist didn't think she was up for the task on my hair. She did some carving & slicing but she seemed uncomfortable with my texture. She referred me to another stylist, one who "looks like me" for my next visit. I'm a little hurt but I'll move on.

Did she tell you upfront (before cutting anything) that she was uncomfortable? Um, I appreciate that sort of honesty--she could've really jacked your situation up.

And this might be controversial here oops lol...I of all people know that a stylist's race doesn't necessarily mean anything to how well they can do my hair (my best cut ever came from a white lady with basically straight hair. Def going back

). BUT I wonder if we don't get so caught up in the ~all curls are curls. Period.~ hype that we forget everything ain't for everybody. Maybe that doesn't apply to you Sienna (your stylist could have just been really incompetent) but I do think a lot of us forget it and end up wasting money or disappointed in our hair because it won't perform the "right" way.

soleilmoncur · 02-17-2012, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sienna40

U guess the ouidad certified stylist didn't think she was up for the task on my hair. She did some carving & slicing but she seemed uncomfortable with my texture. She referred me to another stylist, one who "looks like me" for my next visit. I'm a little hurt but I'll move on.

AmberBrown · 02-17-2012, 06:15 PM

^^I need Keenys LOLvomit gift for that one ROFL

soleilmoncur · 02-17-2012, 06:22 PM

Goodnight ladies!!!!

ss40 · 02-17-2012, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmberBrown

Quote:

Originally Posted by sienna40

U guess the ouidad certified stylist didn't think she was up for the task on my hair. She did some carving & slicing but she seemed uncomfortable with my texture. She referred me to another stylist, one who "looks like me" for my next visit. I'm a little hurt but I'll move on.

Did she tell you upfront (before cutting anything) that she was uncomfortable? Um, I appreciate that sort of honesty--she could've really jacked your situation up.

And this might be controversial here oops lol...I of all people know that a stylist's race doesn't necessarily mean anything to how well they can do my hair (my best cut ever came from a white lady with basically straight hair. Def going back

). BUT I wonder if we don't get so caught up in the ~all curls are curls. Period.~ hype that we forget everything ain't for everybody. Maybe that doesn't apply to you Sienna (your stylist could have just been really incompetent) but I do think a lot of us forget it and end up wasting money or disappointed in our hair because it won't perform the "right" way.

I used to only go to Black or Dominican salons when I was relaxed. But for the last 5 years I went to a White woman who treated my hair great. She moved to the salon I went to today. I understand your point but cosmetologists should be competent. I also thought race would be irrelevant since ouidad's website has women with curly/kinky hair. I believe if I went to NYC it would have been fine. But I'm in Upstate NY at the nearest ouidad certified joint with my expectations too high. No biggie. I learned my lesson.

ss40 · 02-17-2012, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soleilmoncur

Quote:

Originally Posted by sienna40

U guess the ouidad certified stylist didn't think she was up for the task on my hair. She did some carving & slicing but she seemed uncomfortable with my texture. She referred me to another stylist, one who "looks like me" for my next visit. I'm a little hurt but I'll move on.

That about sums it up for me.

IAmJordanNicole · 02-17-2012, 07:01 PM

I'm about to go out for drinks with my male bestie who I am totally crushing on all of a sudden and I feel so nervous and anxious!! Ugh.

Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk -- please ignore my typos!

*Marah* · 02-17-2012, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sienna40

I guess the ouidad certified stylist didn't think she was up for the task on my hair. She did some carving & slicing but she seemed uncomfortable with my texture. She referred me to another stylist, one who "looks like me" for my next visit. I'm a little hurt but I'll move on.

I feel a certain kind of way about the way you were treated. I wish there wasn't this "attitude" about natural curly-kinky hair.. specifically when it belongs to a person of color. And it's unfortunate that happened to you in a place that suppose to cater to curly hair types. And I don't think Ouidad would appreciate how her brand was poorly represented either!

Subrock went to a Ouidad place..she even got to meet Ouidad herself. Her hair turned out beautiful..but Subrock does have fine type 3 hair so it might not have seemed as much of a challenge to them to do her hair. IDK..but her hair turned out really nice...curls was poppin' child!

CurlyElectra · 02-17-2012, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jo Somebody

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurlyElectra

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmberBrown

I'm pretty sure that women taking their husbands' last name is a throwback from the time when women were considered their spouse's property. If a man EVER gets pushy with me about taking his name, I'm gonna ask him why the hell something that has such ignorant roots is so important to him. Some traditions aren't worth carrying on.

My ex was the same way. We were no where near getting married but we talked about it and I told him that I wouldn't take his name and he was p.o.ed. He told me that was what is normal and he didn't understand why I wanted to stray from that. I told him that because something is a societal norm does not make it right. That's fine if not taking his name is a deal breaker for him, because taking it is a deal breaker for me.

Just out of interest, what surname would your children have?

Well, I'm not planning to have children, but I would hyphenate their names. I know that some people think that's too many names if they grew up and the same thing happened, but I would be okay with them dropping whichever name they preferred, taking their spouse's name, etc. I can only give them the name, after that, they can alter it as they please.

Like AmberBrown said, my family name is important too. I love my family and keeping our name is very important to me - I'd never just let it drop (at least not with me) because I got married. It's unthinkable to me. And to me, if a man truly loved me, he'd understand that. And it's not even like I'm refusing to take his name at all. IMO, the hyphenated name is a just compromise.

*Marah* · 02-17-2012, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CocoT

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicago Kinks

*confused*

This chick just said to me, "girrrlll, you husband know he be casket sharp!"

WTH???

vIa mY cURl TaLk ApP

Lmao!

I think that was supposed to be a compliment.

Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

Yeah ..it's a compliment.. sort of like when old people say... "He clean as the board of health!" which means he was dressed very very nicely. Or "Girl, you know he clean as the board of health!" Means you know he STAY dressed nice and looking good ALL the time!

And that's your lesson for today in old school negro-speak..please make all checks out to Marah Mizrahi thanks.

Nappy_curly_crown · 02-17-2012, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Marah*

Quote:

Originally Posted by CocoT

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicago Kinks

*confused*

This chick just said to me, "girrrlll, you husband know he be casket sharp!"

WTH???

vIa mY cURl TaLk ApP

Lmao!

I think that was supposed to be a compliment.

Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

Yeah ..it's a compliment.. sort of like when old people say... "He clean as the board of health!" which means he was dressed very very nicely. Or "Girl, you know he clean as the board of health!" Means you know he STAY dressed nice and looking good ALL the time!

And that's your lesson for today in old school negro-speak..please make all checks out to Marah Mizrahi thanks.

Girl I am hollern because I grew up listening to my grandma and her friends say that! That just brought back so many childhood memories!

Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk

Jo Somebody · 02-17-2012, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmberBrown

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jo Somebody

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurlyElectra

My ex was the same way. We were no where near getting married but we talked about it and I told him that I wouldn't take his name and he was p.o.ed. He told me that was what is normal and he didn't understand why I wanted to stray from that. I told him that because something is a societal norm does not make it right. That's fine if not taking his name is a deal breaker for him, because taking it is a deal breaker for me.

Just out of interest, what surname would your children have?

Some could have his name, some could have my name. If we only had one child, the parent with the least amount of family could give their name to her/him (carry on the name). Or the parent with the name with the most social clout (since last names are all about functioning in society) would give their name.

All of that seems fairer than the kid automatically carrying the father's name. My family name means something too! Considering how important legacy and heritage is to people, I think it's amazing how many women are cool with erasing their surnames.

I wonder how cultures who never had this tradition deal with it.

Good points. I always said if I only had daughters, I would encourage at least one to keep her last name. If I don't get married and adopt, I'd kinda like me and my kids to use my mum's maiden name since i have two brothers who will pass on my dad's surname. I'd always want the same surname as my children and for them all to have the same surname, so I just wondered how others would deal with it.
My mum's maiden surname and my dad's middle name could both be middle names potentially too...

Jo Somebody · 02-17-2012, 07:40 PM

Even though we have a sticky now, I refuuuuuuuuuuuuse to go near that. WTF are those photos????

adthomas · 02-17-2012, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicago Kinks

Quote:

Originally Posted by adthomas

Quote:

Originally Posted by artemis513

It's all on a spectrum, so sure! I consider myself low porosity but really I'm on the lower side of normal now that I have a consistent conditioning regimen. I do something similar to what you do in order to not get white hair but it can be tricky sometimes. I really do prefer my leave-ins to not contain any oil or butter at all.

Having fine hair makes the lo-po more obvious to me because I frequently get white hair when trying new products and have to experiment with wet and damp hair to gauge how to apply. I can apply products to moderately wet hair (again, not sopping but not damp) and get the results I want, but it depends on what I am using (the amount of product, how much I put on and how much oil/butter is in it). That's what will let me know if I get white hair or not.

+1 i think some of what I do is for lopo and some is for fine hair. I have to be careful with butters and anything loaded with oil. That Jane Carter stuff was entirely too heavy. Kinks, im so jealous because my hair NEVER completely air dries overnight after I wash it. i have to sit under a hooded dryer to give it a head start.

Thanks ladies,

I've never been caught up in the type of hair that I have - fine, thick, coarse, curly...whateva. I know I don't have bulky hair. WNG's reveal that I don't have big bulky hair....but I can manipulate a braid-out and fake big hair. Everything is trial and error with me, if I like it I haul it, hell if it smells good I haul it

AD, is that you in your avi? If so, then uhhh yea I see why your hair doesn't dry overnite. Your hair is what my hair aspire's to be...one day lady one day

No. Not me. It's a singer named Laura Izibor and her hair is awesome.

cheveuxbouclés · 02-17-2012, 07:50 PM

I was holding a baby today and it felt nice. I was like this isn't so bad... then he grabbed a fistful of my straightened strands and stuffed them in his mouth, and my hair instantly curled up

. I was trying not to use any additional heat from the initial blow-out. Now I gots to pull out the old school straightening comb.

Ah babies. So much cuter when they belong to someone else.