The New & Improved Say It I Dare You

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Marah!! I managed to sneak a dress in a suitcase!

It's dark gray and fairly form fitting, with a flower pattern going up the side. Do you think that will work?

Oh sheesh, y'all. 'Tis my phone!
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
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when will your favs?

Marah!! I managed to sneak a dress in a suitcase!

It's dark gray and fairly form fitting, with a flower pattern going up the side. Do you think that will work?

Oh sheesh, y'all. 'Tis my phone!
Originally Posted by annabananalise
How fairly form fitting ? cause this WASP don't need to be seeing all the dayum brown round goodies so fast now! LOL!

And what are you going to wear with it ?
Marah!! I managed to sneak a dress in a suitcase!

It's dark gray and fairly form fitting, with a flower pattern going up the side. Do you think that will work?

Oh sheesh, y'all. 'Tis my phone!
Originally Posted by annabananalise
How fairly form fitting ? cause this WASP don't need to be seeing all the dayum brown round goodies so fast now! LOL!

And what are you going to wear with it ?
Originally Posted by *Marah*
It was conservative enough for my mom's company Christmas party lololol. Not that I have any round goodies to display haha.

I have some nice black pumps. My favorites. As far as jewelry, I'll probably wear my Tiffany necklace and a ring with my birthstone on it.

Earrings are easy to get, and I've been itching to go down to the H&M here. Because the earrings I have are a far cry from subtle and understated hahaha.

Oh sheesh, y'all. 'Tis my phone!
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

Marah!! I managed to sneak a dress in a suitcase!

It's dark gray and fairly form fitting, with a flower pattern going up the side. Do you think that will work?

Oh sheesh, y'all. 'Tis my phone!
Originally Posted by annabananalise
How fairly form fitting ? cause this WASP don't need to be seeing all the dayum brown round goodies so fast now! LOL!

And what are you going to wear with it ?
Originally Posted by *Marah*
It was conservative enough for my mom's company Christmas party lololol. Not that I have any round goodies to display haha.

I have some nice black pumps. My favorites. As far as jewelry, I'll probably wear my Tiffany necklace and a ring with my birthstone on it.

Earrings are easy to get, and I've been itching to go down to the H&M here. Because the earrings I have are a far cry from subtle and understated hahaha.

Oh sheesh, y'all. 'Tis my phone!
Originally Posted by annabananalise
Oh my apologies I thought you were black or partially black..my fault.

Hey..what you describe sounds pretty good. I think it could work..if it was okay for the Xmas Party. And the Tiffany necklace will be a very nice touch.

I think you will look fantastic but yeah..I'd definitely go and get some nice dainty earrings.
Oh nonono I am black. I just didn't get any of my mama's attributes. I been faking it for years. Lol

Ok good. I feel more confident about it now. Thanks so much for your help!

Oh sheesh, y'all. 'Tis my phone!
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

Oh nonono I am black. I just didn't get any of my mama's attributes. I been faking it for years. Lol

Ok good. I feel more confident about it now. Thanks so much for your help!

Oh sheesh, y'all. 'Tis my phone!
Originally Posted by annabananalise
Oh okay..well you got the brown round goodies then..doesn't matter if you are plus size or skinny as a rail. I just meant it as a figure of speech..really.

I'm glad you have something to wear..PLEASE update how things went.

And you are very welcome.
I have got to stay out of the non-hair general discussion. These preggo & step-parent posts done got me all fired up.

Why are children only yours if they only come from your womb or seed? Is it not something wrong with society if we can't love them despite the lack of a biological connection? I've never understood this notion, but I'm a product of my upbringing for sure and my family still rather subscribes to the notion that it takes a village to raise a child and they could care less where the kid came from or who else its attached to.
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I have got to stay out of the non-hair general discussion. These preggo & step-parent posts done got me all fired up.

Why are children only yours if they only come from your womb or seed? Is it not something wrong with society if we can't love them despite the lack of a biological connection? I've never understood this notion, but I'm a product of my upbringing for sure and my family still rather subscribes to the notion that it takes a village to raise a child and they could care less where the kid came from or who else its attached to.
Originally Posted by demsdata
Well I think some people really feel that way. I have to be honest I would not have married my husband if he had outside children or even had been married before me. I wouldn't want to deal with someone else's kids or an ex-wife. I've heard about and seen that go horrible to many times..even when I was a kid I remember thinking, "No way am I marrying anyone with kids and an ex-wife!". The exception would be like if he was married and his wife had died and was trying to raise his kid(s) on his own. Oh then it's no problem..I would marry him and help him raise the kid(s) and I would adopt them legally ASAP so then they would be MY kids.

But I think for a lot of people it's difficult to embrace children that are not their own or blood relatives. Kids are a lot of responsibility and I wouldn't want to raise anyone else's kid(s) but my own. I know that's prolly selfish but to much drama comes with trying to raise other folks kids to me. Plus people get real janky if you try to tell them what to do with their kids, make a suggestion, or even try to just help. So I'd rather stay out of that mess. And it ain't worth the headache. I'd rather have my own never been married before me husband and my own kid(s) with my husband. No outside kids. I know how I am and no sense in frontin'.

ETA: I just read your post in the Non-Hair section and I understand what you are saying but I really think your experience is the exceptional. Not a lot of blended families get along as well as yours. I have a friend that comes from a blended family and I was STUNNED to learn how well they all get along because in every other blended situation I've seen there is ALWAYS usually some drama involved. And it's usually high drama especially if some kids are in the picture. So I think people are speaking from what is the normal common experience in those situations and not neccessarily an ideal or fairly decent situation like your experience happened to be.
aishasoleil likes this.

Last edited by *Marah*; 01-10-2012 at 07:28 AM.
sleep pattern fixed?

i mean, i went to sleep at like 6 am, and slept like 3 hours (i actually woke back up at 7 am, but i forced myself back to sleep until like 9. then i forced myself to sleep again, but my mother came busting through the door with some foolishness and woke me back up. now i cant get back to sleep )
I have got to stay out of the non-hair general discussion. These preggo & step-parent posts done got me all fired up.

Why are children only yours if they only come from your womb or seed? Is it not something wrong with society if we can't love them despite the lack of a biological connection? I've never understood this notion, but I'm a product of my upbringing for sure and my family still rather subscribes to the notion that it takes a village to raise a child and they could care less where the kid came from or who else its attached to.
Originally Posted by demsdata
Well I think some people really feel that way. I have to be honest I would not have married my husband if he had outside children or even had been married before me. I wouldn't want to deal with someone else's kids or an ex-wife. I've heard about and seen that go horrible to many times..even when I was a kid I remember thinking, "No way am I marrying anyone with kids and an ex-wife!". The exception would be like if he was married and his wife had died and was trying to raise his kid(s) on his own. Oh then it's no problem..I would marry him and help him raise the kid(s) and I would adopt them legally ASAP so then they would be MY kids.

But I think for a lot of people it's difficult to embrace children that are not their own or blood relatives. Kids are a lot of responsibility and I wouldn't want to raise anyone else's kid(s) but my own. I know that's prolly selfish but to much drama comes with trying to raise other folks kids to me. Plus people get real janky if you try to tell them what to do with their kids, make a suggestion, or even try to just help. So I'd rather stay out of that mess. And it ain't worth the headache. I'd rather have my own never been married before me husband and my own kid(s) with my husband. No outside kids. I know how I am and no sense in frontin'.

ETA: I just read your post in the Non-Hair section and I understand what you are saying but I really think your experience is the exceptional. Not a lot of blended families get along as well as yours. I have a friend that comes from a blended family and I was STUNNED to learn how well they all get along because in every other blended situation I've seen there is ALWAYS usually some drama involved. And it's usually high drama especially if some kids are in the picture. So I think people are speaking from what is the normal common experience in those situations and not neccessarily an ideal or fairly decent situation like your experience happened to be.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
But see, you married young, right? I'm 48 years old. If I ever get married, chances are I will have to deal with an ex-wife and children. Would that be my preference? No, because I don't have an ex-husband/ children. However, the good thing is the children would probably be grown. I wouldn't mind adult children, or small children. Teenagers (especially girls..sorry)? Hell no. They almost always have issues with you, cuz you "stole" their daddy, and daddy feels guilty and often lets them clown unrestrained. Nope, cuz I'd slap somebody. Won't even lie. I was raised way different than most young people. It takes a village to raise a child, but the village ain't acceptin' all, cuz they'll burn the village down.

Children of broken relationships are often so screwed up, it's a big undertaking to chose to be bothered. Is that selfish? Eh...depends. I think it's more about counting the costs, before taking on the expense.

A lot of children of broken marriages/relationships are bitter (understandable), and angry and they act out. That anger is never acknowledged/handled. Everybody doesn't want that added drama. Nothing against loving kids, but it takes a lot and often the love you offer isn't received. Sometimes the divorced parents haven't set boundaries, which causes problems with the new spouse, and the kids use that to create a rift between their biological parent and the new spouse. Oooh wee! It can be ugly....so very ugly. Naw, I don't want that. Sorry. ALL of the young men in my family (who are in college, or on a fast career track) ain't checkin' for NO women with kids.

My mother remarried, after my father died. I was twelve. I didn't act a fool because of it, and my mother wouldn't have stood for it anyway. I was happy my mother found a great man (my biological dad was a drunk abuser), who turned out to be an excellent provider and role model for how men are supposed to be. It's because of him that my standards are too high for most men to meet. That's fine, because most of the men most of the women I know claim, I wouldn't have. I know this, and that's just the way it is. I don't feel I've suffered for it. I feel I've been spared. There are trade offs, and every woman has to decide what's important to her.

People need to manage their reproductivity, think long and hard about marriage, and try to save their marriages, if they can be saved...especially when children are involved. I know it's very old-fashioned to expect parents to sacrifice their own gratification for the benefit of the children they chose to bring into the world (who didn't ask to come here), but I think that's the cost of being a parent. We're not bringing chickens into world. It's a known fact that divorce devastates children. It breaks their hearts, and sometimes it's hard to piece those hearts back together.

So, I totally understand and respect your position. But I think for the vast majority of women who don't marry in their twenties or even early thirties, it's often not an option to marry a man (black man anyway...sorry, but it's the truth) who comes with no kids/no exes/baby mamas.
*Marah*, Truqueen01, Saila and 1 others like this.
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Totally get where you are coming from NEA. Yes..I married VERY young. I had just turned 20. We didn't have a child until many years later though. My husband was 31 when we got married. Never been married and he had no kids...well obviously or we wouldn't be married.

Anyway.. I do understand that the older a person is when they get married the more chance it will be that they will have some step-children to deal with..but I'm saying for me (and I really do believe most people) they ideally don't want that scenerio...because as you stated and I stated..it can be: DRAMA.

But that's my point. Not everyone wants to deal with all of that and I can't blame them because I wouldn't deal with it. For women (and men) that marry much later in life..yeah they probably will have to deal with an ex-spouse and/or some kids. I'm not saying that lifestyle is bad or unacceptable. I'm saying that I can understand why a lot of people (including myself) would not want to be in that situation.

And the woman in that Non-hair thread is 34. No that's not young but it's not old either. So I just think she's going ballistic about not having kids yet. I feel like if she spent as much energy and passion focusing on getting a husband as she does being all up in how someone else raises their kids..she'd prolly have a husband by now or close to it..and be on her way to having a baby.

But she all into what the hell someone else do with their kids. I feel like lady sit your azz down somewhere and focus on YOUR life. Cause I wish a so and so WOULD tell me how I should be raising my son. They'd get the worse cussing out they ever had in their life and believe me their soul would be wounded when I was done. Cause I don't play that...
I don't know why she sweating so much over an EX's ex wife. I'm sure that exwife wasn't worried about her so idky she worried. Wasting energy
AmberBrown, *Marah* and LadyV69 like this.
Totally get where you are coming from NEA. Yes..I married VERY young. I had just turned 20. We didn't have a child until many years later though. My husband was 31 when we got married. Never been married and he had no kids...well obviously or we wouldn't be married.

Anyway.. I do understand that the older a person is when they get married the more chance it will be that they will have some step-children to deal with..but I'm saying for me (and I really do believe most people) they ideally don't want that scenerio...because as you stated and I stated..it can be: DRAMA.

But that's my point. Not everyone wants to deal with all of that and I can't blame them because I wouldn't deal with it. For women (and men) that marry much later in life..yeah they probably will have to deal with an ex-spouse and/or some kids. I'm not saying that lifestyle is bad or unacceptable. I'm saying that I can understand why a lot of people (including myself) would not want to be in that situation.

And the woman in that Non-hair thread is 34. No that's not young but it's not old either. So I just think she's going ballistic about not having kids yet. I feel like if she spent as much energy and passion focusing on getting a husband as she does being all up in how someone else raises their kids..she'd prolly have a husband by now or close to it..and be on her way to having a baby.

But she all into what the hell someone else do with their kids. I feel like lady sit your azz down somewhere and focus on YOUR life. Cause I wish a so and so WOULD tell me how I should be raising my son. They'd get the worse cussing out they ever had in their life and believe me their soul would be wounded when I was done. Cause I don't play that...
Originally Posted by *Marah*
Hmmmm....I don't even know what thread you're talking about. My speech was about the drama that comes with broken families...period. I'll take a trip over to OT....
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NEA! This lady over there going ballistic (given she's back pedaling now some tho) cause she 34 and salty that she doesn't have children but her ex does and others do that she think being half ass parents. She thinks she'd be a better parent..she doesn't get why she's not one and they are..all this BULLSHKIT that ain't got a dayum thang to do with her.

Now I respect that she's waiting on marriage and commitment..kudos on that..but acting like you know all what the hell someone else need to do with their kids and suggesting that you know you'd be the bomb dot com parent cause you watched someone else's kids is overkill to me. Stay in ya lane...the bottom line is they ain't your kids..and you ain't their momma. So you being a part time care taker cause you dating their damn Daddy don't mean shkit. That ain't no proof you'd be a straight baller parent always erring on the right side of judgment when it comes to raising kids.

It's easy to play childless parent..until you actually either raise some kids, are raising some kids, or actually regularly helping to raise some kids (don't have to be yours biologically). But hell this chick was just dating their damn daddy..who the hell is she ?

Let me stop..cause this kind of bs irks me. Clearly.
sleep pattern fixed?

i mean, i went to sleep at like 6 am, and slept like 3 hours (i actually woke back up at 7 am, but i forced myself back to sleep until like 9. then i forced myself to sleep again, but my mother came busting through the door with some foolishness and woke me back up. now i cant get back to sleep )
Originally Posted by Keenylicious
GOOD! Because you posted that link of that lady acting crazy and making me have to need my brain bleached...so you deserve to suffer as well.
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NEA! This lady over there going ballistic (given she's back pedaling now some tho) cause she 34 and salty that she doesn't have children but her ex does and others do that she think being half ass parents. She thinks she'd be a better parent..she doesn't get why she's not one and they are..all this BULLSHKIT that ain't got a dayum thang to do with her.

Now I respect that she's waiting on marriage and commitment..kudos on that..but acting like you know all what the hell someone else need to do with their kids and suggesting that you know you'd be the bomb dot com parent cause you watched someone else's kids is overkill to me. Stay in ya lane...the bottom line is they ain't your kids..and you ain't their momma. So you being a part time care taker cause you dating their damn Daddy don't mean shkit. That ain't no proof you'd be a straight baller parent always erring on the right side of judgment when it comes to raising kids.

It's easy to play childless parent..until you actually either raise some kids, are raising some kids, or actually regularly helping to raise some kids (don't have to be yours biologically). But hell this chick was just dating their damn daddy..who the hell is she ?

Let me stop..cause this kind of bs irks me. Clearly.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
Ahhhh....that's the one who made the "So much for him being the one" thread. Truth? I thought she was about 23/24 .I had NO idea she's almost mid-thirties.
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NEA, you just said my past engagement experience

I was engaged from 20-26. It was the best and worst experience of my life. I was in some love do you hear me but my ex fiance had to make a choice between his kids and me. I dont blame him either because I would have done the same.

Drama, two daughters. When we were dating they were 8-9. Long story short. They are now in College and he is miserable. He calls me to this day. Im cordial but distant. He has hope that Im sitting on a shelf waiting for him. Not so.

The ironic thing is , I loved those girls like they were my own , they wanted their mother and father back together so I had no chance from the get go.

Opened my eyes WIDE


"Women, we are definitely under a microscope and under massive scrutiny," Aguilera, 31, said. "As long as I am happy in my own skin, that is all that is all the confirmation I need."

But, she adds, it's nice to have approval of the one she loves, including her beau, Matt Rutler. "I have a boyfriend that loves my body," she says. "I love my body, my son is healthy and happy and that is all that matters."
I've always found it funny how when celebs gain weight or have trouble getting it off (when they were once slim), how they find a new sense of "confidence"...

I won't be surprised if in another couple of months we see a much slimmer version of her on the cover of Us Weekly or People with the title story "How I got my body back"
Originally Posted by FoxyCleopatraGuide
I think this chick is as full of BS as Jennifer Love Hewitt and Tyra Banks were about their weight issues. Thing is though neither Hewitt or Banks looked as bad with the weight gain that Aguleria does..

I know people's body goes thru changes..folks do gain weight at times..big deal. Plenty of plus sized women look just fine. But X-tina just really doesn't look good. She looks like she's wearing a mini fat suit and fat flesh makeup on her face. And then yet she still wants to dress like she a size 0 and age 20. She looked like Miss Piggy stuffed in a ripped trash bag with a horrific mangy flea infested wig on at that dayum MJ special.

And she must have forgot how she terrorized Kelly Obsourne about her weight..calling her fat and a pig and what not. But now that she's fat..it's a different story. Her man loving her body and her loving it..oh and her baby tacked on at the end is all that matters. Heffa...please! I know you are devastated on the inside and planning how you aren't gonna gain more and how you'll loose this weight!

And if she isn't..she'll wake up to it soon.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
Nuthing but Truth!!
Im a Christian & try to live my life as such but sometimes...I want to go to the club & "drop it" hot & low like I did in my 20s (NASTY!). Dance till my feet are numb & cant walk.

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