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Old 01-10-2012, 08:16 PM   #881
 
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Ok, what is everyone basing their perceptions of what is overweight on?
For me I consider Christina overweight. I consider myself overweight. Most people wouldn't call me fat, but for my height I am over what I *should* be. I know that people question BMI and all that other stuff, I do too ( when I was 100lbs I looked like Nicole Richie and it wasn't cute) so I think I should weigh 15-20 lbs less than what I do. For years I never considered Queen Latifah fat or overweight. Her structure held her weight well. Recently though, I have seen pics of her where she looked like she crossed over to the overweight side.

When Brittney Spears gained weight, I didn't think she was fat or overweight. She looked like she had a little gut. Christina has gained weight all over and refuses to come to terms with that in regards to her clothes. I wish I could squeeze back in my 4/6 but know that on my best day an 8 skirt will work and 10 pants will let me breath.
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Ok, what is everyone basing their perceptions of what is overweight on?
BMI and sloppiness combined IMO.
I thought so. My sister is 5'5", around 150 lbs and ranges from a size 6 (mostly) to a size 8. According to the BMI, she's overweight. People that are sick in the head would call her fat.

This is why I brought up the body image issue thing. Because people throw these terms around and it damages people's perceptions of themselves, despite the reality. I don't know the reality for Christina, but I from what I can gather from being a pop culture junkie is that she grew up in front of the cameras from a rather young age and probably dealt with a lot of body image issues, trying to uphold the beauty standards set by society and the media.

The reality for my sister is that she has no ailments (ever it seems), works out regularly, eats pretty good, but she's considered overweight. I had to sit her down one day because her obsession about getting down to 135, which was a safe range she thought she should be in, and it was driving her mad. Now she's just maintaining, but I really think it's bad to base anything off of the BMI. That's just another opinion though.

People are all caught up with numbers in their jeans and on the scale, but they forget about how they feel. How you feel is how healthy you are.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:16 PM   #882
 
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Y'all, I don't like the word "fat." This isn't because I "stan" for political correctness. It's because it's a word used to police (mostly) women's bodies and make them feel ashamed. It is a gendered insult. Men calling women fat isn't equal to women calling men fat because our culture judges men and women differently.

For the record, no one has ever called me fat. I say this to clarify that this isn't coming from a place of personal hurt but a larger concern for the psychology of women and girls. This is a problem - not for every woman and girl, and for some men and boys - but it is a significant problem nonetheless.

I'm not telling anyone to stop using the word "fat." (I'm not the word police.) I would just like everyone to be more aware of how people use this word and how it affects (read: harms) others.

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Old 01-10-2012, 08:16 PM   #883
 
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so what, she got thick thighs, and... y'all don't?

I feel like I'm some christina fan but y'all seriously hating on bad camera angles... but beyonce can have thick thighs and its okay?

b.s.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:20 PM   #884
 
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so what, she got thick thighs, and... y'all don't?

I feel like I'm some christina fan but y'all seriously hating on bad camera angles... but beyonce can have thick thighs and its okay?

b.s.
She carries those thick thighs differently than Beyonce does. It has nothing to do with stanning for me. It's just that my eyes are telling me Bey carries her weight well while Christina....is not.

Ion think she looks good in that picture. Simple as that.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:26 PM   #885
 
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disagree, beyonce thighs ain't cute either, she just got a bigger ass so it looks like she an hour glass and ****, but them thighs ain't cute, neither is christina's or rihannas.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:26 PM   #886
 
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Y'all, I don't like the word "fat." This isn't because I "stan" for political correctness. It's because it's a word used to police (mostly) women's bodies and make them feel ashamed. It is a gendered insult. Men calling women fat isn't equal to women calling men fat because our culture judges men and women differently.

For the record, no one has ever called me fat. I say this to clarify that this isn't coming from a place of personal hurt but a larger concern for the psychology of women and girls. This is a problem - not for every woman and girl, and for some men and boys - but it is a significant problem nonetheless.

I'm not telling anyone to stop using the word "fat." (I'm not the word police.) I would just like everyone to be more aware of how people use this word and how it affects (read: harms) others.

Tri Delta - Fat Talk Free Week - YouTube
Thanks for posting this video. I love this statement: "It's time to focus on the 'healthy ideal', which looks different for every woman, and focuses on health, not weight or size."

I think I do find the word more problematic than positive, but I still appreciate that people embrace it...and I can't be mad about that. Same thing with the n-word. People embrace it and have profound reasoning for doing so.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:27 PM   #887
 
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:30 PM   #888
 
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Okay...I went and read the "Childfree not by choice", or whatever it's called. GF got ripped and while I think she deserved some it, I think folks clowned on her.

First off, I reject ANY notion that says you have to be a parent to have any say on parenting. That's simply not the case, and that's a lousy way of reasoning. If you're a "bad parent", that's just what you are. Doesn't matter if a childless person recognizes it, or the Woman Who Lived In A Shoe recognizes it. The "What do YOU know, childless one?" responses are just as haughty and out of touch as her comments. People scratch, when they itch. If the OP had commented on what a "good parent" she was/is, nobody would have fired back with, "How do you know? YOU don't have any kids". That's stupid. Now, it's also stupid to see a kid with a Pop Tart in their mouth a few times, and think momma is a failure. I get that. But just because you bake doesn't make you a good baker. It makes you a baker for sure. Wisdom is wisdom, and foolishness is foolishness. All day long, 24/7.

When I told my married cousin that he was a lousy husband for cheating on his wife, he fired back with the dumb stuff, "You don't know. You're not married. Marriage is hard". Okay...and you're still a lousy excuse for a husband. Make it about me being "single" and not "knowing what it takes to stay married", but that doesn't take anything away from me. You're an adulterer. Change your behavior, and stop whining about being "judged". Work on your marriage, and if you don't want it, let your wife go and move on. Common sense is all that is.

Secondly, while the OP does not know all of what the other woman does with her children, neither do the women at NC. She's closer to the situation than I am, so....why so much venom?

My problem with her is that her focus is off. She does need to mind her own business, and if she thought the mom was a bad mother, she should have kept it to herself. I knew it was goin' down, after I read her breakdown of the momma. She seems to want motherhood for the wrong reasons.

Thirdly, ANYBODY can get married, if that's all they want. I wish people would stop acting like finding a body to marry is SO hard. It's really not. The OP has erected roadblocks, preventing access to where she claims she wants to go. That's way more important than her assessment of her ex man's wife's parenting skills.
Good points NEA (as usual) but what I didn't like is her overall attitude. I felt like she was acting as if her view of parenting is the best and most right way. And the reason why kids are so messed up is because she (and people like her) aren't their parents. Basically, I felt like she was ticked because in her own mind she thinks she'd be such a great parent and it's not fair that she being as great as she is doesn't have kids but others that she considers losers do have kids.

Now, I will say no..a person doesn't have to be a person that physically had a child to be a parent. Parenting comes from a lot of folks. But there is something to be said of BEING a parent and relating to what all goes into that but understanding what a parent is and having common sense concerning the general idea of how to be a decent parent are two different things.

For instance, I can understand the horrible feeling a woman would have of being raped..but I cannot actually relate to it because I've never been raped. And I wouldn't dare tell a raped woman.."I don't get why you aren't dealing with your rape such and such way cause if I was raped..blah blah blah"

That's how I feel this lady is coming off so yeah..I felt some venom. LOL! And the fact of the matter is..it seemed like to me she did some babysitting and now is making judgment calls about how the heck folks should raise their kids cause she didn't like what they chose to do. Now she knows all there is to know about parenting so she'd be so much better. Well it's easy to talk a good game.. and I feel like she has no children (biologically or otherwise) and her experience doesn't qualify her to act like her parenting way is or would be stellar.

She's the one who wants some kids and a husband. These other folks she worried about done been married and got kids. So instead of focusing on things that really are absolutely none of her beeswax she needs to focus on her life goals...she's certainly have a better chance of obtaining them that way.

Her whole attitude about it I found annoying. Had she come in like."Man..I wish I had a husband and kids..cause I know I would cherish them and it hurts me that I'm without either and I see so many taking them for granted, etc. And I just feel like at 34 my window is closing and I'm sad and frustrated about it..so much so that I think I've practically accepted the fact I won't ever have a hubby and kids."

Then I would have had her back. But no..she wanna bust in with crazy stuff.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:31 PM   #889
 
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Thanks for posting this video. I love this statement: "It's time to focus on the 'healthy ideal', which looks different for every woman, and focuses on health, not weight or size."

I think I do find the word more problematic than positive, but I still appreciate that people embrace it.
Oh yeah. I didn't think about that. I guess it's cool than people have strong enough self-esteems that they can embrace a negative word and make it positive for themselves.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:33 PM   #890
 
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And people wonder why so many women, girls, and even boys and men have so many body image issues.
That's why I don't really call people fat unless I just overall don't like them, lol. I don't give a damn how much people weigh; I'm not trying to give anyone a complex. Do you, boo boo, is my motto.
Well I call people fat when they are overweight and sloppy. If a person is overweight to me that doesn't automatically denote fat. For instance..I'm sure Oprah Winfrey is overweight for her height..but to me she's not fat because she's not sloppy. I'd refer to her as plus size or full figured.

Another example is Mo'Nique. Yes..we all know she's overweight but ain't nothing sloppy about her. So I'd never call her fat.

Britney Spears when she gained weight was FAT to me. And I know good an well she's probably never ever in her life weighed as much as Oprah and Mo'Nique do now..but Spears was sloppy as hell when she gained weight. So I called her fat.

I know that doesn't sit well with a lot of folks but that's how I feel about it. Have some couth about yaself no matter what size you are..large people do not have to look sloppy. I've seen some BOMB ass plus size women..just bringing it. Looking pulled together and fantastic..that's why I'm talkin' bout! Ain't nothing "fat" about that to me.
Girl, you didn't need to explain all of that, at least not to me. I don't care if people want to call people fat, or whatever. I just don't care enough about other people to care how they look. I might make fun of someone if I don't like them, but otherwise, meh. That way people can stop buying up all of my size. I should send them thank you cards.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:34 PM   #891
 
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disagree, beyonce thighs ain't cute either, she just got a bigger ass so it looks like she an hour glass and ****, but them thighs ain't cute, neither is christina's or rihannas.
I don't think Beyonce really has any booty. I think she has "thick" thighs, but Christina's look thick and wide.

I think it really comes down to how you carry it. Someone could be Christina's same weight and height and look totally different. I have big boobs and a small waist. My booty is regular, not a donk but not flat. My thighs are the biggest thing. If my thigh weight was distributed to my booty, I prolly wouldn't even think about losing a pound.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:34 PM   #892
 
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Let me exit stage right while all this fat talk is going on before I say some dumb **** .......


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LAWD! Well I personally would have loved to read your opinion...even if it's the direct opposite of mine. I like when you post because to me it's not dumb *** whether I agree or not. It gives another perspective for people (including myself) to ponder.

But if you don't wish to share..understood.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:34 PM   #893
 
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disagree, beyonce thighs ain't cute either, she just got a bigger ass so it looks like she an hour glass and ****, but them thighs ain't cute, neither is christina's or rihannas.
I agree with you Turtles, Beyonce's legs aren't cute lol!

I also don't agree that Christina is fat (she has a bad stylist lol and has picked up a few pound, so what!?! Folks act like she gained 75lbs in 2months.

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Old 01-10-2012, 08:35 PM   #894
 
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Let me exit stage right while all this fat talk is going on before I say some dumb **** .......


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Old 01-10-2012, 08:36 PM   #895
 
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That's why I don't really call people fat unless I just overall don't like them, lol. I don't give a damn how much people weigh; I'm not trying to give anyone a complex. Do you, boo boo, is my motto.
Well I call people fat when they are overweight and sloppy. If a person is overweight to me that doesn't automatically denote fat. For instance..I'm sure Oprah Winfrey is overweight for her height..but to me she's not fat because she's not sloppy. I'd refer to her as plus size or full figured.

Another example is Mo'Nique. Yes..we all know she's overweight but ain't nothing sloppy about her. So I'd never call her fat.

Britney Spears when she gained weight was FAT to me. And I know good an well she's probably never ever in her life weighed as much as Oprah and Mo'Nique do now..but Spears was sloppy as hell when she gained weight. So I called her fat.

I know that doesn't sit well with a lot of folks but that's how I feel about it. Have some couth about yaself no matter what size you are..large people do not have to look sloppy. I've seen some BOMB ass plus size women..just bringing it. Looking pulled together and fantastic..that's why I'm talkin' bout! Ain't nothing "fat" about that to me.
Girl, you didn't need to explain all of that, at least not to me. I don't care if people want to call people fat, or whatever. I just don't care enough about other people to care how they look. I might make fun of someone if I don't like them, but otherwise, meh. That way people can stop buying up all of my size. I should send them thank you cards.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:37 PM   #896
 
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Christina A (in the pics) is what many black men would call "thick". White men and women would probably call her "fat", because white men/women OFTEN (not always) have a thinner body ideal than other cultures. My white brides OFTEN refer to themselves as "fat", or "a cow", and I just roll my eyes and shake my head.

So. who's right? Nobody. Everybody has a different standard, and that will never change. Be who you are, and be happy with it. If you're not happy with it, change it, if you can.

I also agree that Christina A will be the "white Jennifer Hudson", when she loses the fat/weight/extra junk/whatever you wanna call it. Why? Because she's an entertainer, and her career depends on her body. Nothing more, nothing less.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:39 PM   #897
 
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so what, she got thick thighs, and... y'all don't?

I feel like I'm some christina fan but y'all seriously hating on bad camera angles... but beyonce can have thick thighs and its okay?

b.s.
Its her thighs, her face, her chins...she is carrying the weight all over. Yes I have thighs but thats kinda normal and accepted, everyone has thigh meat. With Christina she put on a ton of weight, tried to dress like she is a size 0 and then gets mad when people can see her muffintop. It doesnt work that way.
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:39 PM   #898
 
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:41 PM   #899
 
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:43 PM   #900
 
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Well I call people fat when they are overweight and sloppy. If a person is overweight to me that doesn't automatically denote fat. For instance..I'm sure Oprah Winfrey is overweight for her height..but to me she's not fat because she's not sloppy. I'd refer to her as plus size or full figured.

Another example is Mo'Nique. Yes..we all know she's overweight but ain't nothing sloppy about her. So I'd never call her fat.

Britney Spears when she gained weight was FAT to me. And I know good an well she's probably never ever in her life weighed as much as Oprah and Mo'Nique do now..but Spears was sloppy as hell when she gained weight. So I called her fat.

I know that doesn't sit well with a lot of folks but that's how I feel about it. Have some couth about yaself no matter what size you are..large people do not have to look sloppy. I've seen some BOMB ass plus size women..just bringing it. Looking pulled together and fantastic..that's why I'm talkin' bout! Ain't nothing "fat" about that to me.
Girl, you didn't need to explain all of that, at least not to me. I don't care if people want to call people fat, or whatever. I just don't care enough about other people to care how they look. I might make fun of someone if I don't like them, but otherwise, meh. That way people can stop buying up all of my size. I should send them thank you cards.
*DEAD* at the bolded...SMDH..yeah your karma is shot.
What? I only make fun of people when I think they suck at life. And people DO be buyin' up my size in certain places!!! I wanna sneak those chicks some cake...more for me!!!

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