The New & Improved Say It I Dare You

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Thanks! I really appreciate yall coming at me with the realness. No sugar coating. I know it wasn't the best thing and they are rightfully hurt. My mom and various ppl said eff their feelings because they didn't have to come at me like that. However, I can not be mad at them for being mad at me and I wrote them an apology letter because I felt like that was the least I could do. They can choose to forgive me or not. But all I can do is move on with my life and make sure that I give my son the best life I can if I went through all of this to get him back.

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Originally Posted by tbabyy
I'm sorry things are so rough right now. Being a birth mom myself, I know it's hard, and I can see why people back out and change their minds. That pull is strong.

I can also see why the former adoptive couple is pissed. I'd be saying all kinds of crap too if I was them.

Good luck to you, however it ends up. Being a young mom of a preemie won't be am easy road either, even with support.


Siri types my posts for me.
Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
Glad to hear from you, Red. Thank you. I really appreciate the objective opinions from everybody. I needed to hear from impartial parties. It's the only way to understand the situation from all sides.

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LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY!
Thanks! I really appreciate yall coming at me with the realness. No sugar coating. I know it wasn't the best thing and they are rightfully hurt. My mom and various ppl said eff their feelings because they didn't have to come at me like that. However, I can not be mad at them for being mad at me and I wrote them an apology letter because I felt like that was the least I could do. They can choose to forgive me or not. But all I can do is move on with my life and make sure that I give my son the best life I can if I went through all of this to get him back.

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Originally Posted by tbabyy
follow your heart! im happy youve chose to kept the baby! idk anything about you or your situation but when i found out i was preg w my son nothing was the way it was supposed to be. i was NOT ready for a baby. his dad and i werent even together! we had broken up 6 months prior, hooked up, i didnt talk to him again till the day i found out i was preg a good month and a half later, every plan i had for my life right then was over/paused. i had no where to live, my parents were losing their house, i had just started working, no license, no car ,in debt 30,000+ from a bad accident w no insurance at 18, plus all the debt from my marriage, still married to my ex husband who i had been separated from for 2 yrs but couldnt afford a divorce. it was a MESS! my whole pregnancy was a mess. even after the baby came it was extremely hard. things smoothed out though. i see all the sweet and loving things my son does on a daily basis and im so happy to have him in my life no matter how hard it is and was. even when he drives me crazy i still wouldnt change a thing.
i understand the birth parents being upset but putting you on blast is immature and shows on their character. you going through all this shows how strong you are. go with your heart. if you want your baby keep him. things are hard being a mother whether your prepared or not, it will always be trying and difficult. but to make a decision that you could regret later on down the road would be just as emotionally difficult. only you know what is best for
you and baby so do what you feel is right.



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@sweetmx wow I can't believe you had all that going on when you had your child. The fact that you were strong enough to not waiver just because you were preggo is amazing. My situation isn't nearly as detail packed as that but I know if you were strong enough to get thru that, I can be strong enough to get thru this. Thank you for telling me that. It helps a lot.

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*Marah* likes this.


LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY!
I dont want to turn black - YouTube

What do you guys think of this video?? I laughed but I don't think these are good parents...
Originally Posted by IAmJordanNicole
Those parents are wrong.
Originally Posted by forbee
I saw that video a while back.. I actually didn't laugh.. I didn't even crack a smile. Even this little 3 year old white girl would rather be anything than... black. Clearly, she got that attitude from her parents. Guess she's no different than most..even many POC don't want to be... "8 ball" or "midnight black". SMFH.
@sweetmx wow I can't believe you had all that going on when you had your child. The fact that you were strong enough to not waiver just because you were preggo is amazing. My situation isn't nearly as detail packed as that but I know if you were strong enough to get thru that, I can be strong enough to get thru this. Thank you for telling me that. It helps a lot.

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Originally Posted by tbabyy
I think it's nice that you wrote them an apology letter. I am sure they will still feel sad about not getting the baby...but at least they will be able to read your perspective so that they understand you didn't intentionally jerk them around. Not sure it will bring them solace..but at least you know you tried to do what was decent.

I don't know if this is wrong for me to say (and if it is..I'm open to other views and I apologize in adavnce) or not but I am so thrilled that you have support from your family. I don't mean this to be offensive but it is so many young ladies of color out here as single mothers struggling trying to make it with no husband or SO.. and their family isn't thinking about helping them. And all types of dysfunctional situations often happen as a result. While I don't personally relate to that or your being worried about being judged.. I can certainly understand it. And if you come from one of those old school families..like I do. I DEFINITELY get it. But I can't help but be happy for you.

Now, I do have sympathy for the couple that wanted to adopt but the fact of the matter is you carried that child for all these months and that's your biological child. You have every right to want him and to raise him. They haven't even had the baby all that long.. and while I'm not saying they don't care about the child.. I really feel like that bond between them and the baby is not the same as you have with your biological child at this point with him being so young. It just isn't. This is not to say adoptive parents don't develop a deep and special bond with their adopted children at all.

I don't think you should feel bad about making another choice. Sure.. be respectful of their feelings and desires but you also have to think about your role as his real mother. And it's clear to me that you never really wanted to give your baby up in the first place. You were scared, confused, and didn't think you'd have any support. And I'm sorry but all this stuff folks talk today about how it's no shame in having a baby out of wedlock is all well and good..but the fact of the matter is to a lot of people..it's still perceived as shameful and women are judged on it still in 2012. And many black women are stereotyped by it regularly. It is what it is... I'm not saying that's right being made to feel ashamed .. I'm just stating a fact to say I understand why you felt like it was best to put him up for adoption in the first place. But I certainly support, understand, and respect your decision to keep him. I wish absolutely nothing but the best, brightest, and most healthy future for you and your son. You seem like a sweet young lady and I pray that you are blessed.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
tbabyy likes this.
@sweetmx wow I can't believe you had all that going on when you had your child. The fact that you were strong enough to not waiver just because you were preggo is amazing. My situation isn't nearly as detail packed as that but I know if you were strong enough to get thru that, I can be strong enough to get thru this. Thank you for telling me that. It helps a lot.

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Originally Posted by tbabyy
well only you will know whats best for you and your baby, but know your def not alone in terms in women who have had to make hard choices and kept their babies and made it work. it wont be easy but in MY eyes its worth it.
both choices take strong women. to keep it and deal w all that comes w being a mom and to give it up and all that goes w that.
either way be strong in your choice. take all the help and support you can get



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*Marah* and tbabyy like this.
my blog
http://curlygirlie85.blogspot.com/
Its a beauty, natural hair, food, family, and life all combined into one blog. I took a break from it for awhile but I recently started blogging again and Im addicted!

my tumblr natural inspirations and beauty: http://sophiams85.tumblr.com/

@Marah I am sooo touched by everything you have said. You have no idea. I am like tearing up. Your words of encouragement mean sooo much to me. I wish I could save it and have it with me forever. I can honestly say even from what little i know about you, I have a lot of respect for you. And to have you say those words to me, mean an awful lot! My family is supporting me to the fullest. They were honestly more upset that they didn't know rather than the fact that i was preggo. Mostly because most of the women in both families were my age when they had their first child. They didn't judge me because it had happened to them or somebody in the family. I am sooo happy that I have them supporting. I really was afraid and confused. I still am a little but I guess knowing that I have family there for me makes it a little bit easier. I know they aren't going to take care of him for me but knowing they are there is enough.

@sweetmx I am just now finding my inner strength and I think my son helped me realize it. Not necessarily him being with me but just him existing has made me be a new me. I was lost for a long time, trying to find myself while trying to be what everybody wanted me to be. It was soo hard. But i am finally figuring myself out, doing what I want to do, not being what others want me to be.

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LITTLE JOEY HAS A SIBLING ON THE WAY!
@tbabby

TBH I had a feeling you were going to keep him. The way you discussed your pregnancy just made it seem so. I'm glad to hear (read) that you decided to keep your baby. I'm also glad to see you embracing your family during this time. I know the adoptive parents may be upset but...this is a significant decision and responsibility and I'm sure you don't take this lightly. He's your son and they have to respect that. No need for the shoulda coulda wouldas.

I know you don't need my encouragement or affirmation but I just felt compelled.
*Marah*, tbabyy and Jo Somebody like this.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

-Albert Einstein
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Last edited by 3c4d7zwhatevs; 04-03-2012 at 11:10 PM.
Travis from Gym Class Heroes has some big ass hips and chunky looking thighs:/ I vote no on hippy guys...

Also, the lead singer from One Republic looks like White Jay from ABG.
Travis from Gym Class Heroes has some big ass hips and chunky looking thighs:/ I vote no on hippy guys...

Also, the lead singer from One Republic looks like White Jay from ABG.
Originally Posted by cheveuxbouclés
He is too cute.
I havent figured out how to add pictures..

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man... i need to log off.
Originally Posted by Keenylicious
I did log off

vIa tHiS rAgEdY aSs pHoNe
**sophisticated ignorance, I type my cuss words in cursive**

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yo jo somebody, i didn't know you made music!

Joe Somebody - Baby Come Back - YouTube
Originally Posted by Keenylicious
I'm a woman of many talents!



I always knew Jo Somebody was really an adolescent white boy. LOL!

Let me stop before Jo comes in here and cusses me out!
Originally Posted by *Marah*
Lol!! I'm only here to check the ladies!
*Marah* likes this.
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Have y'all ever watched The Weiner Circle on TruTv?

Tivo recorded it because it is a Chicago Restaurant which I've been looking for reviews but this is NOT what I meant. 4 black women and a black man run an allnite hotdog stand and drunk people do dumb stuff to win free hot dogs while these ladies cuss and talk isht to each other and their customers.

I'm embarassed to say it is funny but damn...

vIa tHiS rAgEdY aSs pHoNe
**sophisticated ignorance, I type my cuss words in cursive**

Current Rotation (always changing): Curl Junkie Curl Rehab as my Leave-In, Blended Beauty Happy Nappy Styles, Entwine Argan Oil, Bobeam Shampoo Bars, QB CTDG and QB AHTB, UFD Curly Magic, B.A.S.K Anything.


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Gen Y f***ery of the day :

Really Ladies, WTF?! When Chris Brown’s Fangirls Go Too Far (NSFW) | Clutch Magazine
Curly in Okinawa, Japan where only the toughest curls can stand up to this heat and humidity.

My Arsenal:
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Have y'all ever watched The Weiner Circle on TruTv?

Tivo recorded it because it is a Chicago Restaurant which I've been looking for reviews but this is NOT what I meant. 4 black women and a black man run an allnite hotdog stand and drunk people do dumb stuff to win free hot dogs while these ladies cuss and talk isht to each other and their customers.

I'm embarassed to say it is funny but damn...

vIa tHiS rAgEdY aSs pHoNe
Originally Posted by Chicago Kinks
I saw them on the travel channel once, I didn't know that they had their own tv show. Lmao.does anyone make money being on trutv?
Have y'all ever watched The Weiner Circle on TruTv?

Tivo recorded it because it is a Chicago Restaurant which I've been looking for reviews but this is NOT what I meant. 4 black women and a black man run an allnite hotdog stand and drunk people do dumb stuff to win free hot dogs while these ladies cuss and talk isht to each other and their customers.

I'm embarassed to say it is funny but damn...

vIa tHiS rAgEdY aSs pHoNe
Originally Posted by Chicago Kinks
I saw them on the travel channel once, I didn't know that they had their own tv show. Lmao.does anyone make money being on trutv?
Originally Posted by murrrcat
I had never heard of Trutv before last night.

This show has a segment called, "things black people like" and the customers (white or asian are the ones I saw) are supposed to name the 3 things. It gets real quiet very quickly.

vIa tHiS rAgEdY aSs pHoNe
**sophisticated ignorance, I type my cuss words in cursive**

Current Rotation (always changing): Curl Junkie Curl Rehab as my Leave-In, Blended Beauty Happy Nappy Styles, Entwine Argan Oil, Bobeam Shampoo Bars, QB CTDG and QB AHTB, UFD Curly Magic, B.A.S.K Anything.


http://www.platinumpj.com
http://www.facebook.com/PlatinumPJ
@PlatinumPJ
So Bristol palins sons father is going to be a daddy again... interesting

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