The New & Improved Say It I Dare You

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I don't think I've ever sent a PM because someone offended me.

I have to disagree with the idea that it doesn't matter what someone you don't know thinks. Of course for certain things that's true, but it does have an effect on me, even indirect as it may be, that someone holds racist/sexist/etc. views. Those things affect everyone. Now I get that the odds of changing anyone are slim, but then there are people who will tell you that they did change, and it was because there were people who were willing to question and contest their views.
Originally Posted by Saria
I didn't say it doesn't matter. If that was the case, we would never talk about anything here-- but hair lol. My words were butt hurt ( SN-- I pick up too much of the vernacular around these parts and it sounds so out of place IRL sometimes) and I think sometimes getting that invested in what an anonymous person thinks is too much IMO.
Originally Posted by cheveuxbouclés
It is. I care what my mom thinks. I care what my close friends think.

I know their hearts, and they know mine. There's history and they have my best interests at heart.

People on a message board don't carry the same weight...and they shouldn't. Message board "relationships" can be very fickle.
*Marah* likes this.
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Last edited by Ninjarette; 04-12-2012 at 07:45 PM.

I don't forget what people say for the most part on here because I just have a habit of remembering things that people say.. but to keep holding on to something waiting for the day to use it against someone is ridiculous to me.

And that's where I don't get the big deal because to me.. yeah it's just the damn internet and it's not earth shattering serious. We don't really "know" eachother (except for a few that have opted to meet offline) and nothing I say should really affect a person that damn bad considering they will probably never see me in life and if they did they'd have no clue it was me anyway. I don't agree with plenty that's said here and there are many members here that I know I wouldn't get along with in RL or even consider being friends with at all.. but on the net. It's not a big deal. I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to throw some bs in their face over some past stuff that I thought was inappropriate, offensive, or stupid unless they try to come for me all wrong. If they treat me decently after we've hashed out whatever.. okay fine. I will keep chatting with them, joking with them, etc.

I just don't hold grudges like that.. I honestly don't. In real life and on the internet once I've hashed something out with a person. Sure.. I remember stuff and act accordingly..but I'm not worried about some stuff we hashed out. If we are cool..we are cool. But I can't stand the two faced-back stabbing high school skhit that goes on in situations like this.. if you gotta damn problem just say so. And I think a lot of folks are just as sneaky and slithery as damn snakes and remember stuff JUST so they can be snarky and start shkit with no justification.

I feel more or less like if you have an issue with someone..then hash it the hell out like a grown person don't sit there acting like all is well and then bam you toss out some stupid bs grudge stuff you've been just WAITING to say as soon as you can "catch" a person. GTFOWDBS.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
idk if you're just speaking generally (i know it's not about me lol), but i haven't really seen that around here. usually when i see ppl bring up something from the past, i assume it's b/c they just happened to remember it and applied it to the current situation (like me). that's partly why i've been holding my mule so much around her; b/c sometimes i see ppl directly contradict something theyve said in the past (whether it be something they said publicly or in my inbox), and i really don't feel like being accused of being some grudgful petty chick just b/c i happen to have a good memory. so i just sit here w/ my mule and watch all the f*ckery.
Originally Posted by Keenylicious
I have seen it several times around here.. not neccessarily in this section as much in others but it's definitely a normative with a few constants here too. But of course it's about perception. People see what they want to see and judge people how they want regardless of what the real deal is...

I do understand "the hole my mule" concept..I think in a lot of cases it's the appropriate thing to do.

Frankly, I don't think there is enough open dialogue when there is an issue. Everybody wants everyone else to just STFU unless they in the Amen corner big upping what they say. I guess it's just not something I relate to very well. If I have a problem with something someone said.. I just say it and my ultimate desire is to hash it out so that we can be civil and not hostile to eachother.

But I notice it's difficult to do that here because a lot of people do hold grudges and have to throw constant snark at that person and then play dumb when confronted. Knowing damn well they are on swoll because they dropped the ball and punked out in the first place when they should have said something when the mess was going on but they stood by watched it ain't do shkit and now they mad. Then all late and wrong they wanna come balls to the wall cause they done built up some strength or decided "they just ain't holding their mule no more".. and I feel like.. no I can't get with that sort of dumb stuff. Sit your punk ass down some where..shoulda handled that shkit like grown folk long time ago.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
i dun get why you alwys talkin down to people. i think you just bitter cus people dont like you. i saw that thread where ppl were sayin how they was happy you was gone. i think thats why you mad and always mean to people
4zzz nappy hair. Learning to love and take care of it.
Like @Amber said, I want to know where I stand with people. I can take a$$holes, ESPECIALLY over the damn internet, but there are people who act big and tough in "public," then cop out or break down in private. I can't get with that. If you want to throw down on the net (which honestly I don't see the point of), don't renege on it privately, or act like everything on the internet is trivial then be concerned with whether certain posters are upset with you. I cannot stand two faced people.
Originally Posted by CurlyElectra
I don't think I've ever PM'ed you nor you me. And if we have.. I know it wasn't to discuss the above..since that sort of thing irks me. I will say I certainly can respect your stance on the frontin' in the forum and then in private doing something else. That has occurred a few times with me and other posters. But I don't divulge info from private conversations.. I think that's incredibly disrespectful and a betrayal of someone's trust. It is something I find annoying though.

But since you want to know where you stand with folks.. I will say that I'm honestly not upset with you about your latest posts to me or what definitely came across to me as your snark. I think that's just you.. you are snarky. I know you say it's "blunt" but eh..I'm pretty blunt myself..so nothing you say ever needed to be sugar coated for me and honestly I think you know better than that. If you don't..well now you do.

And I know I'm not the only person that thinks it but so what.. ? Plenty of people think things about me that I've read on here and been told in private. So what. I think you and I have incredibly different experiences in life (except for some racism we've discussed), different value systems, and different approaches to things. But I think my experiences are probably different than most here. I don't think that make either of us better than the other..just different. I have enjoyed different interactions with you on this forum..others with you.. not so much. But the enjoyments has outweighed the not so much ones. Having said that.. I don't think you understand me as well as you think you do.. there is only one person on this forum that I really think fully understands me and she doesn't involve herself in these sorts of things. But she and I come from similiar backgrounds so it's to be expected.

But I'm fine with you..sure I have my perceptions of you but I don't hold any grudge, ill will, or distain for you. If you do me.. I can certainly live with that..but I'd prefer you didn't.
And...I'm logging off.

ETA: This post was in response to beadybeads, not Marah.
Jo Somebody likes this.
Quote:
People should be willing to stand by the things they say. Or they shouldn't say them. If your opinion can't stand in the light of day...maybe it should stay in the dark...in your head?
- AmberBrown

Last edited by CurlyElectra; 04-12-2012 at 08:21 PM.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

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I got the job at 1800Flowers...work at home type work!!! only a temp job but I needed the extra cash

Putting in my application for Dish Network in Columbus and the "training call session" is the exact same one for 1800Flowers! and the dish network one isn't even work at home...it's still weird though


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idk if you're just speaking generally (i know it's not about me lol), but i haven't really seen that around here. usually when i see ppl bring up something from the past, i assume it's b/c they just happened to remember it and applied it to the current situation (like me). that's partly why i've been holding my mule so much around her; b/c sometimes i see ppl directly contradict something theyve said in the past (whether it be something they said publicly or in my inbox), and i really don't feel like being accused of being some grudgful petty chick just b/c i happen to have a good memory. so i just sit here w/ my mule and watch all the f*ckery.
Originally Posted by Keenylicious
I have seen it several times around here.. not neccessarily in this section as much in others but it's definitely a normative with a few constants here too. But of course it's about perception. People see what they want to see and judge people how they want regardless of what the real deal is...

I do understand "the hole my mule" concept..I think in a lot of cases it's the appropriate thing to do.

Frankly, I don't think there is enough open dialogue when there is an issue. Everybody wants everyone else to just STFU unless they in the Amen corner big upping what they say. I guess it's just not something I relate to very well. If I have a problem with something someone said.. I just say it and my ultimate desire is to hash it out so that we can be civil and not hostile to eachother.

But I notice it's difficult to do that here because a lot of people do hold grudges and have to throw constant snark at that person and then play dumb when confronted. Knowing damn well they are on swoll because they dropped the ball and punked out in the first place when they should have said something when the mess was going on but they stood by watched it ain't do shkit and now they mad. Then all late and wrong they wanna come balls to the wall cause they done built up some strength or decided "they just ain't holding their mule no more".. and I feel like.. no I can't get with that sort of dumb stuff. Sit your punk ass down some where..shoulda handled that shkit like grown folk long time ago.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
i dun get why you alwys talkin down to people. i think you just bitter cus people dont like you. i saw that thread where ppl were sayin how they was happy you was gone. i think thats why you mad and always mean to people
Originally Posted by beadybeads

Look..speak to me about some stuff when you aren't hiding behind some handle you use for saying provocative stuff just to get a rise. I talk how I talk..if folks don't like it there is the ignore feature. I'm not mad or always mean to people. I just don't go for bs..that's all. I say what the hell I mean and I mean what the hell I say. Period. I rarely hold any mules..so.
i dun get why you alwys talkin down to people. i think you just bitter cus people dont like you. i saw that thread where ppl were sayin how they was happy you was gone. i think thats why you mad and always mean to people
Originally Posted by beadybeads
*looking around for the cameras*

This has got to be a joke or something.....that read like the script from Roots.
**sophisticated ignorance, I type my cuss words in cursive**

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I got the job at 1800Flowers...work at home type work!!! only a temp job but I needed the extra cash

Putting in my application for Dish Network in Columbus and the "training call session" is the exact same one for 1800Flowers! and the dish network one isn't even work at home...it's still weird though
Originally Posted by tbabyy
Congrats!
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

-Albert Einstein
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Is it possible to quote myself? If not, can someone re quote the part about people just trying to start ish?
i dun get why you alwys talkin down to people. i think you just bitter cus people dont like you. i saw that thread where ppl were sayin how they was happy you was gone. i think thats why you mad and always mean to people
Originally Posted by beadybeads
*looking around for the cameras*

This has got to be a joke or something.....that read like the script from Roots.
Originally Posted by Chicago Kinks
Yep, I was like, "Kizzy?"
*Marah* and Chicago Kinks like this.
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Is it possible to quote myself? If not, can someone re quote the part about people just trying to start ish?
Originally Posted by cheveuxbouclés
it's possible to quote yourself from a computer. i dont think you can from the app.

i'm too lazy to go find your post lol.

Right on my sister lol. Like I said, most of us say let bygones be bygones. But when you continue on with the behavior that got you a side-eye in the first place, then don't be surprised when people pull your card with the 'remember when you said...'
Originally Posted by cheveuxbouclés
I do forget a lot of the disagreements I have with other members. Just because I have an isht memory lol. The main ways I'll remember that we were once on opposite sides of the fence is if we usually agree (cuz it probably surprised me that we were disagreeing) OR if you let your stank attitude from a discussion in Ye Olden Times color every single discussion we have from then til now (cuz those folks just won't let you forget. sheesh).

Anyone else I remember must have been one of the isms that Saria mentioned earlier (racist, sexist, homophobic). Those things stick with me.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
I don't remember every single debate/e-argument I got into here--- but I will remember if you got disrespectful/condescending/kept on antagonizing.

I also recognize that we are humans and sometimes we say something off the cuff that may not necessarily reflect us in general. I know I am in a bad mood sometimes and I refrain from typing because I know I will sound like a grade A c*nt. With that being said, some people know EXACTLY what they are saying or doing when they start some ish up. And while I may give you a pass the first time or two, I will still keep in mind that you like to start sh*t.

I think the bigger issue for me here is that there is no consistency on who and what gets called out by moderators. I just think that a lot of the "scolding" is geared towards certain folks and I can't get down with that.
Originally Posted by cheveuxbouclés
+100000
Jo Somebody likes this.
Is it possible to quote myself? If not, can someone re quote the part about people just trying to start ish?
Originally Posted by cheveuxbouclés
You can def quote yourself....lawd
Quote:
People should be willing to stand by the things they say. Or they shouldn't say them. If your opinion can't stand in the light of day...maybe it should stay in the dark...in your head?
- AmberBrown
I just came in here to brag and say ABG spoke at my school.....and I totally didn't go and see her, cause I don't watch the show.
Saila and IAmJordanNicole like this.
I don't think I've ever sent a PM because someone offended me.

I have to disagree with the idea that it doesn't matter what someone you don't know thinks. Of course for certain things that's true, but it does have an effect on me, even indirect as it may be, that someone holds racist/sexist/etc. views. Those things affect everyone. Now I get that the odds of changing anyone are slim, but then there are people who will tell you that they did change, and it was because there were people who were willing to question and contest their views.
Originally Posted by Saria
I understand where you are coming from Saria and respect your views on this... I guess I just don't relate to taking what someone on a message board says so internally that it cripples you as a person in real life. Sure, I think people can become friends online, learn interesting and new things..but I don't think people's random comments on the net should be something a person defines their whole worth on or lose their sense of self over.

But I do understand for some people..it's different. I'm just saying it doesn't make sense to me. I guess sort of like to "ignore" someone doesn't make sense to you.

I do forget a lot of the disagreements I have with other members. Just because I have an isht memory lol. The main ways I'll remember that we were once on opposite sides of the fence is if we usually agree (cuz it probably surprised me that we were disagreeing) OR if you let your stank attitude from a discussion in Ye Olden Times color every single discussion we have from then til now (cuz those folks just won't let you forget. sheesh).

Anyone else I remember must have been one of the isms that Saria mentioned earlier (racist, sexist, homophobic). Those things stick with me.
Originally Posted by AmberBrown
I don't remember every single debate/e-argument I got into here--- but I will remember if you got disrespectful/condescending/kept on antagonizing.

I also recognize that we are humans and sometimes we say something off the cuff that may not necessarily reflect us in general. I know I am in a bad mood sometimes and I refrain from typing because I know I will sound like a grade A c*nt. With that being said, some people know EXACTLY what they are saying or doing when they start some ish up. And while I may give you a pass the first time or two, I will still keep in mind that you like to start sh*t.

I think the bigger issue for me here is that there is no consistency on who and what gets called out by moderators. I just think that a lot of the "scolding" is geared towards certain folks and I can't get down with that.
Originally Posted by cheveuxbouclés
+100000
Originally Posted by cheveuxbouclés
Cheveux you confused the heck out of me for about 15 seconds. This is just like those people on Fb who like their own dang posts

I haven't heard anyone say beadybeads since like 8th grade. Memories.
Keenylicious likes this.

I have seen it several times around here.. not neccessarily in this section as much in others but it's definitely a normative with a few constants here too. But of course it's about perception. People see what they want to see and judge people how they want regardless of what the real deal is...

I do understand "the hole my mule" concept..I think in a lot of cases it's the appropriate thing to do.

Frankly, I don't think there is enough open dialogue when there is an issue. Everybody wants everyone else to just STFU unless they in the Amen corner big upping what they say. I guess it's just not something I relate to very well. If I have a problem with something someone said.. I just say it and my ultimate desire is to hash it out so that we can be civil and not hostile to eachother.

But I notice it's difficult to do that here because a lot of people do hold grudges and have to throw constant snark at that person and then play dumb when confronted. Knowing damn well they are on swoll because they dropped the ball and punked out in the first place when they should have said something when the mess was going on but they stood by watched it ain't do shkit and now they mad. Then all late and wrong they wanna come balls to the wall cause they done built up some strength or decided "they just ain't holding their mule no more".. and I feel like.. no I can't get with that sort of dumb stuff. Sit your punk ass down some where..shoulda handled that shkit like grown folk long time ago.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
i dun get why you alwys talkin down to people. i think you just bitter cus people dont like you. i saw that thread where ppl were sayin how they was happy you was gone. i think thats why you mad and always mean to people
Originally Posted by beadybeads

Look..speak to me about some stuff when you aren't hiding behind some handle you use for saying provocative stuff just to get a rise. I talk how I talk..if folks don't like it there is the ignore feature. I'm not mad or always mean to people. I just don't go for bs..that's all. I say what the hell I mean and I mean what the hell I say. Period. I rarely hold any mules..so.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
i dun have no dam handle. this me and i been here. dats why i dun post alot cus yall like to call people trolls and stuff.

am jus sayin that peopl dun like you cus you always arguin wit people. and when you was gone people made a whole thread just to say they ain like you. some maybe somethins wrong wit you
4zzz nappy hair. Learning to love and take care of it.

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