The New & Improved Say It I Dare You

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[QUOTE=Ninjarette;1935714]
Do NOT write your phone number on some "torn off" piece of paper and expect me to call you. Naw. Do I look like the type of woman who calls men who write their phone numbers on KFC wrappers?

I'm not callin' you, and as soon as I'm out of your field of vision, that piece of paper...

Originally Posted by Ninjarette
Awww.. dude was probably desperate and didn't have any paper. Was he at least attractive ? ROFL

Also..clearly he didn't have any paper...what would you have preferred him to do ? Cause I'm with ya..scribbling your number down on torn off piece of is bogus.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
"Awww..." nuthin'!
He was cute...but too young, which may explain the torn piece of paper.
ROFL... yeah..agreed. The torn paper was tacky.
I just felt for old dude..probably saw a nice looking woman and forgot himself. SMH.

First off, I don't call men who give me their phone numbers. That's just me. I figure if a man wants to talk to me, he should call...me. Why am I calling him? I didn't approach him. Now, I know that's "old-fashioned", and I'm good with that...cuz I am old-fashioned. To me, it's (asking a woman to call) lazy, and I don't take it seriously.
I am old fashioned too. My husband and I had a very old fashioned and traditional "courting". And I wouldn't change it. It's worked beautifully in our 20 year relationship. I don't like to say to much about the old fashioned stuff because I know a lot of folks today sort of scoff at that. But I don't blame you. If I was single I wouldn't call a man either. He'd have to call me if he was just oh so interested. So we see eye to eye on that..believe me.

Most men (the ones who I'd be most likely to call) ask may they call me, and ask for my number...which is not something I give out often. It's up to him to find a way to write it down (most of the guys who approach me have smartphones, so they can add it to their contacts, or make a memo/note), or memorize it - which a few (very few) men have actually done. If you tryna mack, you should have the necessary tools/equipment.
Amen..Halleluyah! I see I have a witness this evening! This is my thinking as well. I like that old school approach. I don't know..I know it's "old" but I love men like that..my husband was/is like that, so was his father and so was my father. If feel like if you gonna come..come correct or don't come at all half stepping.

If I'm at a party, professional gathering, etc., a man MIGHT have a chance, because I probably know people he knows. But random, strange men on the street? Naw. I'm not that pressed, because it's dangerous out here in the streetz, and I don't actually expect men to call anyway. Some men collect numbers as a hobby, with no intention of calling the women who belong to those numbers. It's something to do, and I get that.
Oh my gosh. I HATE THAT. I've said this on here before but if I was single and some random dude came up to me asking about some "date" and "a number" he'd get a side eye. I don't get why today it's so dire for people to jump "dating" so quick, fast, and in a hurry. And hooking up super fast. It's like darn... I mean hello.. how are you..may I speak with you for a moment ? Can we become some sort of friends ? I mean darn. I understand that's how a lot of the folks roll today and I'm not judging that's they biz. Just not my deal. I like that old school thing...but that is how the women in my family are accustomed. My father was very adamant about me learning how a man is supposed to treat a woman. I think that is missing for a lot of people today..good men showing their sons how to respect a woman and themselves and a good father teaching his daughter how to spot a decent man and see thru any foolishness and respect herself. Seems like it's quite difficult today for people to maintain a long, good, and solid relationship.

Last edited by *Marah*; 04-17-2012 at 11:36 PM.
I am old fashioned too. My husband and I had a very old fashioned and traditional "courting". And I wouldn't change it. It's worked beautifully in our 20 year relationship. I don't like to say to much about the old fashioned stuff because I know a lot of folks today sort of scoff at that. But I don't blame you. If I was single I wouldn't call a man either. He'd have to call me if he was just oh so interested. So we see eye to eye on that..believe me.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
...and what does that mean? Absolutely nothing. I do what works for me, and others can do what they do.

Most of the men in my family are pretty decent men...not perfect, but they have a grasp of "manhood", and what it means to handle your business. So, I don't work with the okie doke.

I'll tell you this: I believe MOST women want to be "courted", and "pursued", despite the cries of how "antiquated" traditional courtship happens to be.

Again, do you - know what you want, and stick with your convictions. If you don't have a problem pursuing men, do your thing. But don't get funky cuz another woman doesn't choose to do that.

You may have read where I mentioned an article from Essence (many years ago), called, "Why Men Don't Call". I still reference that article, because even some of my old-behind single friends STILL get all flustered, at the IDEA that a man MIGHT call them. They plan to be at home, to make sure they don't miss a dude's phone call....and the dude never calls, because he never intended to - or, he sends a TEXT MESSAGE a week later.

All of that...I can't, so I don't.
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Last edited by Ninjarette; 04-17-2012 at 11:58 PM.
I am old fashioned too. My husband and I had a very old fashioned and traditional "courting". And I wouldn't change it. It's worked beautifully in our 20 year relationship. I don't like to say to much about the old fashioned stuff because I know a lot of folks today sort of scoff at that. But I don't blame you. If I was single I wouldn't call a man either. He'd have to call me if he was just oh so interested. So we see eye to eye on that..believe me.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
...and what does that mean? Absolutely nothing. I do what works for me, and others can do what they do.

Most of the men in my family are pretty decent men...not perfect, but they have a grasp of "manhood", and what it means to handle your business. So, I don't work with the okie doke.

I'll tell you this: I believe MOST women want to be "courted", and "pursued", despite the cries of how "antiquated" traditional courtship happens to be.

Again, do you - know what you want, and stick with your convictions. If you don't have a problem pursuing men, do your thing. But don't get funky cuz another woman doesn't choose to do that.

You may have read where I mentioned an article from Essence (many years ago), called, "Why Men Don't Call". I still reference that article, because even some of my old-behind single friends STILL get all flustered, at the IDEA that a man MIGHT call them. They plan to be at home, to make sure they don't miss a dude's phone call....and the dude never calls, because he never intended to - or, he sends a TEXT MESSAGE a week later.

All of that...I can't, so I don't.
Originally Posted by Ninjarette
I agree. I said what I did in the bold because a lot of folks today just aren't into what we are discussing is all...and frankly aren't trying to hear it. In my experience it turns into one long pointless debate.
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Do NOT write your phone number on some "torn off" piece of paper and expect me to call you. Naw. Do I look like the type of woman who calls men who write their phone numbers on KFC wrappers?

I'm not callin' you, and as soon as I'm out of your field of vision, that piece of paper...

Originally Posted by Ninjarette
...hopefully it wasn't on the paper of a KFC crispy chicken wrap...
Originally Posted by vegas_curls
BINGO!
His name, "Tjay" and number was written with a Sharpie.
Originally Posted by Ninjarette
Poor guy has no hope in hell. ROTFL
I am old fashioned too. My husband and I had a very old fashioned and traditional "courting". And I wouldn't change it. It's worked beautifully in our 20 year relationship. I don't like to say to much about the old fashioned stuff because I know a lot of folks today sort of scoff at that. But I don't blame you. If I was single I wouldn't call a man either. He'd have to call me if he was just oh so interested. So we see eye to eye on that..believe me.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
...and what does that mean? Absolutely nothing. I do what works for me, and others can do what they do.

Most of the men in my family are pretty decent men...not perfect, but they have a grasp of "manhood", and what it means to handle your business. So, I don't work with the okie doke.

I'll tell you this: I believe MOST women want to be "courted", and "pursued", despite the cries of how "antiquated" traditional courtship happens to be.

Again, do you - know what you want, and stick with your convictions. If you don't have a problem pursuing men, do your thing. But don't get funky cuz another woman doesn't choose to do that.

You may have read where I mentioned an article from Essence (many years ago), called, "Why Men Don't Call". I still reference that article, because even some of my old-behind single friends STILL get all flustered, at the IDEA that a man MIGHT call them. They plan to be at home, to make sure they don't miss a dude's phone call....and the dude never calls, because he never intended to - or, he sends a TEXT MESSAGE a week later.

All of that...I can't, so I don't.
Originally Posted by Ninjarette
I agree. I said what I did in the bold because a lot of folks today just aren't into what we are discussing is all...and frankly aren't trying to hear it. In my experience it turns into one long pointless debate.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
ITA
I explain this to some guys and they say I have an 'ego', I explain to a young women and I'm told I'm 'choosy and expecting too much '

I was second guessing myself this week but thank you ( Marah and Ninjarette) for this

Last edited by ttlolla; 04-18-2012 at 07:11 AM.
I feel the same way as y'all do. My parents are older. Well all the people I have as a reference for relationships are significantly older. My inherent expectations and tolerance for bs is a little bit different than what these "young boys" out here are used to. I even had to explain to my guy bff how dating "is supposed to" go down.

But I feel like more "old school" folks should chime in more, because there are quite a few of us that are willing to go back to taking it easy in the dating game, but we don't really have the frame of reference b/c our peers are just as lost as we (generational "we") are. I know quite a few women my age who are tired of the text msgs, the non-dates, and the wishy-washy bs from a guy just b/c he feels he can be that way (assuming the woman is desperate for a man). Me personally, if I have to do all that to be in a relationship, I'm fine by myself. Call me the crazy cat lady, I'm good.
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I feel the same way as y'all do. My parents are older. Well all the people I have as a reference for relationships are significantly older. My inherent expectations and tolerance for bs is a little bit different than what these "young boys" out here are used to. I even had to explain to my guy bff how dating "is supposed to" go down.

But I feel like more "old school" folks should chime in more, because there are quite a few of us that are willing to go back to taking it easy in the dating game, but we don't really have the frame of reference b/c our peers are just as lost as we (generational "we") are. I know quite a few women my age who are tired of the text msgs, the non-dates, and the wishy-washy bs from a guy just b/c he feels he can be that way (assuming the woman is desperate for a man). Me personally, if I have to do all that to be in a relationship, I'm fine by myself. Call me the crazy cat lady, I'm good.
Originally Posted by artemis513
I don't mind discussing it when it seems like a mutual exchange of ideas can go on (because I do understand times are different now) but when it turns into accusations of not letting people live and mocking being "old fashioned" I don't have the tolerance to it.

Some folks just have to learn the hard way, and it always seems those types never can have a lasting and stable relationship. They are from pillow to post with partner after partner. Hey that's fine if you are playing the field with no desire find "the one". But don't say you want "the one" but then act and do things that are directly contrary to what you claim you want. Then get "tight" because you think your way is right and can't nobody tell you anything in a discussion with someone who got what they heck you looking to get. Cause um.. I ain't the one looking. ROFL!

I'm just saying. But I'm definitely glad to see some ladies these days aren't thinking about these knucklehead dudes. LOL!
artemis513 likes this.
Mwen te kapab monte yon poto kounye a
Originally Posted by Cerendipity
eksplike m sa l vle di ?
Mwen te kapab monte yon poto kounye a
Originally Posted by Cerendipity
eksplike m sa l vle di ?
Originally Posted by *Marah*

eksplike w sa li vle di? se pa klè?
I feel the same way as y'all do. My parents are older. Well all the people I have as a reference for relationships are significantly older. My inherent expectations and tolerance for bs is a little bit different than what these "young boys" out here are used to. I even had to explain to my guy bff how dating "is supposed to" go down.

But I feel like more "old school" folks should chime in more, because there are quite a few of us that are willing to go back to taking it easy in the dating game, but we don't really have the frame of reference b/c our peers are just as lost as we (generational "we") are. I know quite a few women my age who are tired of the text msgs, the non-dates, and the wishy-washy bs from a guy just b/c he feels he can be that way (assuming the woman is desperate for a man). Me personally, if I have to do all that to be in a relationship, I'm fine by myself. Call me the crazy cat lady, I'm good.
Originally Posted by artemis513
I don't mind discussing it when it seems like a mutual exchange of ideas can go on (because I do understand times are different now) but when it turns into accusations of not letting people live and mocking being "old fashioned" I don't have the tolerance to it.

Some folks just have to learn the hard way, and it always seems those types never can have a lasting and stable relationship. They are from pillow to post with partner after partner. Hey that's fine if you are playing the field with no desire find "the one". But don't say you want "the one" but then act and do things that are directly contrary to what you claim you want. Then get "tight" because you think your way is right and can't nobody tell you anything in a discussion with someone who got what they heck you looking to get. Cause um.. I ain't the one looking. ROFL!

I'm just saying. But I'm definitely glad to see some ladies these days aren't thinking about these knucklehead dudes. LOL!
Originally Posted by *Marah*
One of the main reasons why I haven't dated much in the last few years is because of all the foolishness that men do today. Now, I'm not 100% down with the old school, but there are some things about old school dating that do make sense. For instance, I don't see what difference it makes as to whether the woman or the man calls first. That's too nitpicky for me. I do agree that an actual phone call should be made, not a text or an e-mail, as those are too ephermeral. Also, you should actually go somewhere with your date, not just hang out at his house or your house. If a man is really that into you, he would make an effort to actually take you somewhere and experience something with you. Men who simply want you to hang out at their or your house don't want anything serious and the relationship will go nowhere. Took me a little while to realize that.
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Mwen te kapab monte yon poto kounye a
Originally Posted by Cerendipity
eksplike m sa l vle di ?
Originally Posted by *Marah*

eksplike w sa li vle di? se pa klè?
Originally Posted by Cerendipity
I'm trying to tell you I don't understand Hatian Creole! LOL!
Ninjarette likes this.
One of the main reasons why I haven't dated much in the last few years is because of all the foolishness that men do today. Now, I'm not 100% down with the old school, but there are some things about old school dating that do make sense. For instance, I don't see what difference it makes as to whether the woman or the man calls first. That's too nitpicky for me. I do agree that an actual phone call should be made, not a text or an e-mail, as those are too ephermeral. Also, you should actually go somewhere with your date, not just hang out at his house or your house. If a man is really that into you, he would make an effort to actually take you somewhere and experience something with you. Men who simply want you to hang out at their or your house don't want anything serious and the relationship will go nowhere. Took me a little while to realize that.
Originally Posted by LadyV69
To me it makes a difference who calls because if a man (if I was single) was interested in me..I'd expect HIM to make the effort. I'm not the one trying to "mack"...he is. Now if I was interested in a guy and I had made that known after I got to know him.. I wouldn't mind calling him first if he found that acceptable. Definitely depends on the situation for me. But I do know some women that won't call under any circumstances first. They believe the man should call first period.

But I feel like breaking my neck to call some dude that approached me.. um no. It's not my duty.
Jo Somebody likes this.

Last edited by *Marah*; 04-18-2012 at 09:03 AM.
I feel the same way as y'all do. My parents are older. Well all the people I have as a reference for relationships are significantly older. My inherent expectations and tolerance for bs is a little bit different than what these "young boys" out here are used to. I even had to explain to my guy bff how dating "is supposed to" go down.

But I feel like more "old school" folks should chime in more, because there are quite a few of us that are willing to go back to taking it easy in the dating game, but we don't really have the frame of reference b/c our peers are just as lost as we (generational "we") are. I know quite a few women my age who are tired of the text msgs, the non-dates, and the wishy-washy bs from a guy just b/c he feels he can be that way (assuming the woman is desperate for a man). Me personally, if I have to do all that to be in a relationship, I'm fine by myself. Call me the crazy cat lady, I'm good.
Originally Posted by artemis513
I don't mind discussing it when it seems like a mutual exchange of ideas can go on (because I do understand times are different now) but when it turns into accusations of not letting people live and mocking being "old fashioned" I don't have the tolerance to it.

Some folks just have to learn the hard way, and it always seems those types never can have a lasting and stable relationship. They are from pillow to post with partner after partner. Hey that's fine if you are playing the field with no desire find "the one". But don't say you want "the one" but then act and do things that are directly contrary to what you claim you want. Then get "tight" because you think your way is right and can't nobody tell you anything in a discussion with someone who got what they heck you looking to get. Cause um.. I ain't the one looking. ROFL!

I'm just saying. But I'm definitely glad to see some ladies these days aren't thinking about these knucklehead dudes. LOL!
Originally Posted by *Marah*
And that's why I am now 25 and still haven't been on a date or had a boyfriend. Every single guy has approached me incorrectly. I have had a bunch of KFC wrappers and no gentlemen approach me. Ever. Well except one maybe but that is too stupid to bring up.


Curse you iPhone!!!
Jo Somebody likes this.
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eksplike m sa l vle di ?
Originally Posted by *Marah*

eksplike w sa li vle di? se pa klè?
Originally Posted by Cerendipity
I'm trying to tell you I don't understand Hatian Creole! LOL!
Originally Posted by *Marah*
lololol
One of the main reasons why I haven't dated much in the last few years is because of all the foolishness that men do today. Now, I'm not 100% down with the old school, but there are some things about old school dating that do make sense. For instance, I don't see what difference it makes as to whether the woman or the man calls first. That's too nitpicky for me. I do agree that an actual phone call should be made, not a text or an e-mail, as those are too ephermeral. Also, you should actually go somewhere with your date, not just hang out at his house or your house. If a man is really that into you, he would make an effort to actually take you somewhere and experience something with you. Men who simply want you to hang out at their or your house don't want anything serious and the relationship will go nowhere. Took me a little while to realize that.
Originally Posted by LadyV69
To me it makes a difference who calls because if a man (if I was single) was interested in me..I'd expect HIM to make the effort. I'm not the one trying to "mack"...he is. Now if I was interested in a guy and I had made that known after I got to know him.. I wouldn't mind calling him first if he found that acceptable. Definitely depends on the situation for me. But I do know some women that won't call under any circumstances first. They believe the man should call first period.

But I feel like breaking my neck to call some dude that approached me.. um no. It's not my duty.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
That's the point, for me. Generally, I don't call men...period, not at the beginning of the courtship stage.

I think many men have lost the art of "wooing" a woman, and many women are just fine with that. Again, do you.

I'm strange...I've been told that. I'm pretty hard to get - and it' s not "playing" either. No, I'm not "beautiful", nor do I have teams of men comin' at me. HOWEVER, my esteem is high and my time is little. I have the nerve to be selective about who gets my attention. I'm "picky". Okay.

I have a busy job, super cool friends, and lots of interests. So, chances are if a guy asks me out, I will have something else to do that day/nite, and I'm not going to cancel with my friends, to go out with him. I don't care how fine he is. He may have to ask me more than once - that right there throws a lot of guys.

If you're not jumpin' at the chance to go out, they interpret that a bunch a different ways...and rarely does it mean a woman has a full, rewarding life and she's not giddy about a dinner invite, from a man.
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I am old fashioned too. My husband and I had a very old fashioned and traditional "courting". And I wouldn't change it. It's worked beautifully in our 20 year relationship. I don't like to say to much about the old fashioned stuff because I know a lot of folks today sort of scoff at that. But I don't blame you. If I was single I wouldn't call a man either. He'd have to call me if he was just oh so interested. So we see eye to eye on that..believe me.
Originally Posted by *Marah*
...and what does that mean? Absolutely nothing. I do what works for me, and others can do what they do.

Most of the men in my family are pretty decent men...not perfect, but they have a grasp of "manhood", and what it means to handle your business. So, I don't work with the okie doke.

I'll tell you this: I believe MOST women want to be "courted", and "pursued", despite the cries of how "antiquated" traditional courtship happens to be.

Again, do you - know what you want, and stick with your convictions. If you don't have a problem pursuing men, do your thing. But don't get funky cuz another woman doesn't choose to do that.

You may have read where I mentioned an article from Essence (many years ago), called, "Why Men Don't Call". I still reference that article, because even some of my old-behind single friends STILL get all flustered, at the IDEA that a man MIGHT call them. They plan to be at home, to make sure they don't miss a dude's phone call....and the dude never calls, because he never intended to - or, he sends a TEXT MESSAGE a week later.

All of that...I can't, so I don't.
Originally Posted by Ninjarette
All of this.....I totally agree. And I'm not even old (32).
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