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Curly Gurus
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14849Likes
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08-22-2012, 12:56 AM
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#16461
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,149
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My SO told me that he doesn't feel like he deserves someone like me because I'm better than he is professionally standing. He's at a job he hates and wants to go back to school but might not be able to because of the bevy of student loans. He would rather see me happy with someone else then for me to stay and continue to "bring me down" as he says. He can't offer me anything else but his love and he doesn't believe that is enough because he's disappointing me. I feel like his self worth is shot and said he would rather us go our separate ways than have me unhappy as I am now. But I love this man and I know that he's unhappy with his life and it's affecting how we work.
He has disappointed me recently because he's been upset and out of it, and being able to offer me nothing emotionally. I feel selfish because when I was depressed he was there and now I'm on the fence. I don't know what to do. I want to stay and support him but I don't know how when he feels like he's worth less than me because he's unhappy with his life and now he's shutting me out. I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused.
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3c/4aish, high porosity, fine strands,medium density cottony curls.
LOVES: (editing)
Save $10 off your order at Vitacost by clicking here for a code.
I'm not obsessed: I just LOVE my hair!!


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08-22-2012, 06:25 AM
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#16462
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 350
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I'm sorry you're going through this. Prayer and Meditation work for me when my mind can't figure out what to do. Asking a question and then sitting in silence for the answer. Perhaps your SO needs to spread his wings and be released from this relationship. It has nothing to do with you. You too, may need to release and let go. No matter what happens, you are well cared for by the Infinite.
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08-22-2012, 07:26 AM
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#16463
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 833
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Sorry you're going through this. When you were going through your difficulties and he stayed and supported you, did you want him to stay? If so, there is your difference. He doesn't want you to stay. I am agree with the poster above. It may be best to let him go and find his way. That doesn't make you a bad person.
Sent from my SCH-I510 using CurlTalk App
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“Mama says pretty comes in all different sizes. And my size… is cute!” -Honey Boo Boo
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08-22-2012, 08:21 AM
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#16464
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,149
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^^
But I don't want to lose him
Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using CurlTalk App
__________________
3c/4aish, high porosity, fine strands,medium density cottony curls.
LOVES: (editing)
Save $10 off your order at Vitacost by clicking here for a code.
I'm not obsessed: I just LOVE my hair!!


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08-22-2012, 09:21 AM
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#16465
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,170
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No dearie Birthday Week! Belated Happy Birthday to you and kairo!!!!
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James Baldwin
A Talk To Teachers
[...]
one of the paradoxes of education [is] that precisely at the point when you begin to develop a conscience, you must find yourself at war with your society. It is your responsibility to change society
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08-22-2012, 09:56 AM
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#16466
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,323
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I think karma is getting me for hating my previous job because this job search has been very disappointing. I can't take this anymore!!!
__________________
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
-Albert Einstein Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
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08-22-2012, 12:14 PM
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#16467
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 7,944
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Okay..wow..I honestly need to wear my glasses more. I'm looking and looking and thinking "Prayer and medication...prayer and medication...prayer and medication.." Until I realized it says prayer and MEDITATION..not no dayum medication. Lawd. I need to have a serious seat and find my glasses before I do.
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08-22-2012, 01:21 PM
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#16468
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,725
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I know the feeling. I've applied for more than thirty jobs & I'm now "competing" for a 10 hr a week position with a bachelors. It just got real out here.
I'm cashing out
__________________
 About my hair:
weekly shampoo-HE Honey I'm Strong
daily conditioner-HE Honey I'm Strong (use as li)
go to style-Pocahontas braids
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08-22-2012, 02:06 PM
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#16470
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 7,816
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well, somebody has to be the example.
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08-22-2012, 02:10 PM
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#16472
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 7,944
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Yeah..well there are tons of examples. Furthermore, this dude DID kidnap and assault a young lady. He deserved punishment. I was just trying to convey that I don't get why he or his peeps were so shocked.
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08-22-2012, 02:11 PM
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#16473
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 7,816
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08-22-2012, 02:14 PM
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#16474
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 129
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ITA. Um, they had you ON CAMERA, beating this girl to a pulp and kicking her in the face...and fam thought he would get probation so he can play some ball in college?! Boy, bye.
If anything, I'm shocked three years is all he got...
Siri don't proofread my stuff...
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08-22-2012, 02:17 PM
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#16475
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 7,816
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it makes me sad how people just throw away their lives like that.
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08-22-2012, 03:02 PM
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#16476
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,964
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...and what's even more bizarre is the victim asked that he not be sentenced to jail time. I think some screws got loosened during the beat down.
But...this stuff is not uncommon. Women often protect and/or defend their abusers. Big ole' 6'7" strappin' guy beatin' and kickin' his ex, and then fallin' out and cryin', after he got not even what was due. Only 3 years?
He shoulda fell on the floor and cried, when his mind told him to stomp his ex-girlfriend.
__________________
Platinum Product Junkies
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08-22-2012, 03:02 PM
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#16477
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,221
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Seriously. You commit a felony, you get locked up when you get caught. It's that simple. I'm not sure why he (or his family) was surprised.
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08-22-2012, 03:03 PM
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#16478
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,221
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I think that was part of the intimidation. I think he asked her (or his family) asked her to say that. He def. shld have gotten MORE time.
AMEN to the bolded. YES!
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08-22-2012, 03:26 PM
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#16479
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,323
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Dang that was hard to watch.
He gon learn today though.
__________________
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
-Albert Einstein Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
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08-22-2012, 03:29 PM
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#16480
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,323
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Yea. But if he's like any of the basketball players at my high school, they probably thought he would get off. I'm not trying to say they did stuff like this because I don't know that, but it wasn't unusual for them to have teachers fudge their grades so they can keep playing on the team. Stuff like that. I know what stuff like that can do to a person's ego.
__________________
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
-Albert Einstein Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
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