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Old 01-13-2013, 10:16 AM   #19201
 
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Need some really really really good breakup advice and books. I'm sure as hell not ready to date but eager to meet someone to get my mind off my ex. I don't know what I'm doing.

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My last breakup involved me listening to "Green Eyes", "Babylon", and "Precious" (that's Badu, Gray, Spalding). Over and over. Driving and crying. A lot. But in the end, the break up spawned a lot of good in my life.

got an iPod
got a smartphone
started exercising more regularly
took the GRE
got into grad school
moved
got a great job
learned a lot about myself
got over a loserjerk

Be well.
Yassssss. I love me some Badu.

Music helps me tap into my emotions. It's good to do that sometimes.

I'm so sorry you're upset and deeply hurt, soleil. Maybe if you blocked him on Facebook or something it would get easier for you. Protect your space
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Old 01-13-2013, 10:34 AM   #19202
 
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Originally Posted by CocoT View Post
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Originally Posted by curlyarca View Post
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Originally Posted by soleilmoncur View Post
Need some really really really good breakup advice and books. I'm sure as hell not ready to date but eager to meet someone to get my mind off my ex. I don't know what I'm doing.

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using CurlTalk App
My last breakup involved me listening to "Green Eyes", "Babylon", and "Precious" (that's Badu, Gray, Spalding). Over and over. Driving and crying. A lot. But in the end, the break up spawned a lot of good in my life.

got an iPod
got a smartphone
started exercising more regularly
took the GRE
got into grad school
moved
got a great job
learned a lot about myself
got over a loserjerk

Be well.
Yassssss. I love me some Badu.

Music helps me tap into my emotions. It's good to do that sometimes.

I'm so sorry you're upset and deeply hurt, soleil. Maybe if you blocked him on Facebook or something it would get easier for you. Protect your space
Would blocking him even work? I want to but I'm avoiding it.


Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using CurlTalk App
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Old 01-13-2013, 11:43 AM   #19203
 
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My last breakup involved me listening to "Green Eyes", "Babylon", and "Precious" (that's Badu, Gray, Spalding). Over and over. Driving and crying. A lot. But in the end, the break up spawned a lot of good in my life.

got an iPod
got a smartphone
started exercising more regularly
took the GRE
got into grad school
moved
got a great job
learned a lot about myself
got over a loserjerk

Be well.
Yassssss. I love me some Badu.

Music helps me tap into my emotions. It's good to do that sometimes.

I'm so sorry you're upset and deeply hurt, soleil. Maybe if you blocked him on Facebook or something it would get easier for you. Protect your space
Would blocking him even work? I want to but I'm avoiding it.


Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using CurlTalk App
I don't want to say that it will completely solve your problem but IMO it's a good place to start. Do you want to move on? If so, at some point you have to stop going back to the places that hurt you. Why look at his page if it conjures up those hurtful feelings on top of everything else? You may not be able to instantly forget about him, but if you minimize your exposure to him by actively avoiding him then maybe you'll heal better.
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Old 01-13-2013, 12:17 PM   #19204
 
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I can't believe I have school tomorrow. It feels weird to be technically undergrad even though I have a Bachelor degree. I'm feeling mediocre and a bit confused.

I know I'm not mediocre...but I am confused (appropriately so).
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Old 01-13-2013, 12:26 PM   #19205
 
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Originally Posted by CocoT View Post
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Originally Posted by soleilmoncur View Post
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Yassssss. I love me some Badu.

Music helps me tap into my emotions. It's good to do that sometimes.

I'm so sorry you're upset and deeply hurt, soleil. Maybe if you blocked him on Facebook or something it would get easier for you. Protect your space
Would blocking him even work? I want to but I'm avoiding it.


Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using CurlTalk App
I don't want to say that it will completely solve your problem but IMO it's a good place to start. Do you want to move on? If so, at some point you have to stop going back to the places that hurt you. Why look at his page if it conjures up those hurtful feelings on top of everything else? You may not be able to instantly forget about him, but if you minimize your exposure to him by actively avoiding him then maybe you'll heal better.
I agree. I broke up with an ahole and while it hurt so much I needed to cut him off completely to give myself time to heal. Otherwise you keep picking at a scab. You are grieving a loss in this case the death of your relationship. It is a process that takes time so don't beat yourself up about not being able to move on right away. Also my advice is to be real about what he is and what he isn't. Sometimes after a relationship ends we start romantisizing and think of all the good stuff and forget the bad. Ask yourself if you truly want him back knowing what he has done and that he has no remorse or intention of changing. Until he is ready to change all you can do is pray for him. Also try journaling to help get your feelings out. I'm a musician. wrote some of my best songs after breakups
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Old 01-13-2013, 12:35 PM   #19206
 
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Yes. I agree just completely removing him from your life....even if it's temporary....will be really good for you considering the circumstances. My breakup wasn't for reasons as awful as yours but it still helped my healing to have him completely gone for awhile. So I say yes to the blocking.

I also say yes to music and crying a lot. It really helps. I also watched intentionally sad movies because masochism.
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Old 01-13-2013, 12:36 PM   #19207
 
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I can't believe I have school tomorrow. It feels weird to be technically undergrad even though I have a Bachelor degree. I'm feeling mediocre and a bit confused.

I know I'm not mediocre...but I am confused (appropriately so).
It makes sense if you are going into a study program with different requirements. I have two BAs but if I went for a Chemistry degree or something I would have to do a lot of undergrad work because my Liberal Arts collge only required eight hours of lab science and three hours of math. I had extensive English, History and writing classes.

I'm proud of you for following your dreams.
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Old 01-13-2013, 12:56 PM   #19208
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CocoT View Post
I can't believe I have school tomorrow. It feels weird to be technically undergrad even though I have a Bachelor degree. I'm feeling mediocre and a bit confused.

I know I'm not mediocre...but I am confused (appropriately so).
It makes sense if you are going into a study program with different requirements. I have two BAs but if I went for a Chemistry degree or something I would have to do a lot of undergrad work because my Liberal Arts collge only required eight hours of lab science and three hours of math. I had extensive English, History and writing classes.

I'm proud of you for following your dreams.
Thank you
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Old 01-13-2013, 01:12 PM   #19209
 
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Thanks ladies. I sent a "f*** you and your little dog too" email, block both of them on my facebook, and removed all contacts. I do want and NEED to move on. I have my music and my journal and I'm going to step forward.

Eminem helps.
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Old 01-13-2013, 02:31 PM   #19210
 
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Thanks ladies. I sent a "f*** you and your little dog too" email, block both of them on my facebook, and removed all contacts. I do want and NEED to move on. I have my music and my journal and I'm going to step forward.

Eminem helps.
Eminem sooooo helps. Yes it has gotten me through A LOT.
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Old 01-13-2013, 03:54 PM   #19211
 
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Series of Brooklyn Billboards Put Racial Inequity on Display - COLORLINES

Can we get these on the streets in Chicago too?
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Old 01-13-2013, 07:52 PM   #19212
 
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Needs to be everywhere! The sad reality of racism. Breaks my heart.


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Old 01-13-2013, 11:21 PM   #19213
 
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Another bad morning. I just want it to STOP.

I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable.
I hate knowing all that I know about them.
I hate feeling like something is missing in my life.
I hate knowing that he's going to be happy and I'm not.
I hate that I'm hung up on this and I can't wait for this to end.
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:14 AM   #19214
 
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Someone tell lee lee to come in here and show off her blonde hair...
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:17 AM   #19215
 
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Another bad morning. I just want it to STOP.

I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable.
I hate knowing all that I know about them.
I hate feeling like something is missing in my life.
I hate knowing that he's going to be happy and I'm not.
I hate that I'm hung up on this and I can't wait for this to end.
You will get through this. He's not happy he just thinks he is. He'll wake up soon and realize he's not happy.
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:35 AM   #19216
 
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Another bad morning. I just want it to STOP.

I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable.
I hate knowing all that I know about them.
I hate feeling like something is missing in my life.
I hate knowing that he's going to be happy and I'm not.
I hate that I'm hung up on this and I can't wait for this to end.
You will get through this. He's not happy he just thinks he is. He'll wake up soon and realize he's not happy.
Why do you think he will? Everyone says that but I don't believe it. They say he'll regret it but I don't think he will. Its been going on for years and nothing changed and he let me go. Why would it change now?


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Old 01-14-2013, 07:48 AM   #19217
 
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Because he had you both. He was never satisfied with that other woman that is why he waited until you found out to choose her. That is no way to choose a woman. He doesn't really want her and he doesn't really know what he wants. That is usually how it works with that type of person. However as long as you know what you want, at some point when all this is behind you (because this too will pass) you will meet someone else who knows what they want also.
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Old 01-14-2013, 08:06 AM   #19218
 
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Because he had you both. He was never satisfied with that other woman that is why he waited until you found out to choose her. That is no way to choose a woman. He doesn't really want her and he doesn't really know what he wants. That is usually how it works with that type of person. However as long as you know what you want, at some point when all this is behind you (because this too will pass) you will meet someone else who knows what they want also.
I never thought about it that way.


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Old 01-14-2013, 08:37 AM   #19219
 
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Because he had you both. He was never satisfied with that other woman that is why he waited until you found out to choose her. That is no way to choose a woman. He doesn't really want her and he doesn't really know what he wants. That is usually how it works with that type of person. However as long as you know what you want, at some point when all this is behind you (because this too will pass) you will meet someone else who knows what they want also.
*nods head in agreement*

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Old 01-14-2013, 08:59 AM   #19220
 
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Because he had you both. He was never satisfied with that other woman that is why he waited until you found out to choose her. That is no way to choose a woman. He doesn't really want her and he doesn't really know what he wants. That is usually how it works with that type of person. However as long as you know what you want, at some point when all this is behind you (because this too will pass) you will meet someone else who knows what they want also.



And you will come out wiser, stronger, and even more of a blessing for the one you should be with Soleil.
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