The New & Improved Say It I Dare You

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Need some really really really good breakup advice and books. I'm sure as hell not ready to date but eager to meet someone to get my mind off my ex. I don't know what I'm doing.

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Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
My last breakup involved me listening to "Green Eyes", "Babylon", and "Precious" (that's Badu, Gray, Spalding). Over and over. Driving and crying. A lot. But in the end, the break up spawned a lot of good in my life.

got an iPod
got a smartphone
started exercising more regularly
took the GRE
got into grad school
moved
got a great job
learned a lot about myself
got over a loserjerk

Be well.
Originally Posted by curlyarca
Yassssss. I love me some Badu.

Music helps me tap into my emotions. It's good to do that sometimes.

I'm so sorry you're upset and deeply hurt, soleil. Maybe if you blocked him on Facebook or something it would get easier for you. Protect your space
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

-Albert Einstein
Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
Need some really really really good breakup advice and books. I'm sure as hell not ready to date but eager to meet someone to get my mind off my ex. I don't know what I'm doing.

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
My last breakup involved me listening to "Green Eyes", "Babylon", and "Precious" (that's Badu, Gray, Spalding). Over and over. Driving and crying. A lot. But in the end, the break up spawned a lot of good in my life.

got an iPod
got a smartphone
started exercising more regularly
took the GRE
got into grad school
moved
got a great job
learned a lot about myself
got over a loserjerk

Be well.
Originally Posted by curlyarca
Yassssss. I love me some Badu.

Music helps me tap into my emotions. It's good to do that sometimes.

I'm so sorry you're upset and deeply hurt, soleil. Maybe if you blocked him on Facebook or something it would get easier for you. Protect your space
Originally Posted by CocoT
Would blocking him even work? I want to but I'm avoiding it.


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3c/4aish, high porosity, fine strands,medium density cottony curls.

LOVES: (editing)

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My last breakup involved me listening to "Green Eyes", "Babylon", and "Precious" (that's Badu, Gray, Spalding). Over and over. Driving and crying. A lot. But in the end, the break up spawned a lot of good in my life.

got an iPod
got a smartphone
started exercising more regularly
took the GRE
got into grad school
moved
got a great job
learned a lot about myself
got over a loserjerk

Be well.
Originally Posted by curlyarca
Yassssss. I love me some Badu.

Music helps me tap into my emotions. It's good to do that sometimes.

I'm so sorry you're upset and deeply hurt, soleil. Maybe if you blocked him on Facebook or something it would get easier for you. Protect your space
Originally Posted by CocoT
Would blocking him even work? I want to but I'm avoiding it.


Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
I don't want to say that it will completely solve your problem but IMO it's a good place to start. Do you want to move on? If so, at some point you have to stop going back to the places that hurt you. Why look at his page if it conjures up those hurtful feelings on top of everything else? You may not be able to instantly forget about him, but if you minimize your exposure to him by actively avoiding him then maybe you'll heal better.
curlyarca likes this.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

-Albert Einstein
Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
I can't believe I have school tomorrow. It feels weird to be technically undergrad even though I have a Bachelor degree. I'm feeling mediocre and a bit confused.

I know I'm not mediocre...but I am confused (appropriately so).
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

-Albert Einstein
Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG

Yassssss. I love me some Badu.

Music helps me tap into my emotions. It's good to do that sometimes.

I'm so sorry you're upset and deeply hurt, soleil. Maybe if you blocked him on Facebook or something it would get easier for you. Protect your space
Originally Posted by CocoT
Would blocking him even work? I want to but I'm avoiding it.


Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
I don't want to say that it will completely solve your problem but IMO it's a good place to start. Do you want to move on? If so, at some point you have to stop going back to the places that hurt you. Why look at his page if it conjures up those hurtful feelings on top of everything else? You may not be able to instantly forget about him, but if you minimize your exposure to him by actively avoiding him then maybe you'll heal better.
Originally Posted by CocoT
I agree. I broke up with an ahole and while it hurt so much I needed to cut him off completely to give myself time to heal. Otherwise you keep picking at a scab. You are grieving a loss in this case the death of your relationship. It is a process that takes time so don't beat yourself up about not being able to move on right away. Also my advice is to be real about what he is and what he isn't. Sometimes after a relationship ends we start romantisizing and think of all the good stuff and forget the bad. Ask yourself if you truly want him back knowing what he has done and that he has no remorse or intention of changing. Until he is ready to change all you can do is pray for him. Also try journaling to help get your feelings out. I'm a musician. wrote some of my best songs after breakups
curlyarca and Jo Somebody like this.
Yes. I agree just completely removing him from your life....even if it's temporary....will be really good for you considering the circumstances. My breakup wasn't for reasons as awful as yours but it still helped my healing to have him completely gone for awhile. So I say yes to the blocking.

I also say yes to music and crying a lot. It really helps. I also watched intentionally sad movies because masochism.
curlyarca and Jo Somebody like this.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

I can't believe I have school tomorrow. It feels weird to be technically undergrad even though I have a Bachelor degree. I'm feeling mediocre and a bit confused.

I know I'm not mediocre...but I am confused (appropriately so).
Originally Posted by CocoT
It makes sense if you are going into a study program with different requirements. I have two BAs but if I went for a Chemistry degree or something I would have to do a lot of undergrad work because my Liberal Arts collge only required eight hours of lab science and three hours of math. I had extensive English, History and writing classes.

I'm proud of you for following your dreams.
CocoT likes this.
I can't believe I have school tomorrow. It feels weird to be technically undergrad even though I have a Bachelor degree. I'm feeling mediocre and a bit confused.

I know I'm not mediocre...but I am confused (appropriately so).
Originally Posted by CocoT
It makes sense if you are going into a study program with different requirements. I have two BAs but if I went for a Chemistry degree or something I would have to do a lot of undergrad work because my Liberal Arts collge only required eight hours of lab science and three hours of math. I had extensive English, History and writing classes.

I'm proud of you for following your dreams.
Originally Posted by adthomas
Thank you
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

-Albert Einstein
Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
Thanks ladies. I sent a "f*** you and your little dog too" email, block both of them on my facebook, and removed all contacts. I do want and NEED to move on. I have my music and my journal and I'm going to step forward.

Eminem helps.
ricotdorothy likes this.
3c/4aish, high porosity, fine strands,medium density cottony curls.

LOVES: (editing)

Save $10 off your order at Vitacost by clicking here for a code.


I'm not obsessed: I just LOVE my hair!!





Thanks ladies. I sent a "f*** you and your little dog too" email, block both of them on my facebook, and removed all contacts. I do want and NEED to move on. I have my music and my journal and I'm going to step forward.

Eminem helps.
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
Eminem sooooo helps. Yes it has gotten me through A LOT.

SL
~APL~BSB~BSL~MBL~
WL

You never stop learning...
Series of Brooklyn Billboards Put Racial Inequity on Display - COLORLINES

Can we get these on the streets in Chicago too?
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

-Albert Einstein
Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
Originally Posted by CocoT
Needs to be everywhere! The sad reality of racism. Breaks my heart.


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Another bad morning. I just want it to STOP.

I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable.
I hate knowing all that I know about them.
I hate feeling like something is missing in my life.
I hate knowing that he's going to be happy and I'm not.
I hate that I'm hung up on this and I can't wait for this to end.
3c/4aish, high porosity, fine strands,medium density cottony curls.

LOVES: (editing)

Save $10 off your order at Vitacost by clicking here for a code.


I'm not obsessed: I just LOVE my hair!!





Someone tell lee lee to come in here and show off her blonde hair...
Another bad morning. I just want it to STOP.

I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable.
I hate knowing all that I know about them.
I hate feeling like something is missing in my life.
I hate knowing that he's going to be happy and I'm not.
I hate that I'm hung up on this and I can't wait for this to end.
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
You will get through this. He's not happy he just thinks he is. He'll wake up soon and realize he's not happy.
Another bad morning. I just want it to STOP.

I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable.
I hate knowing all that I know about them.
I hate feeling like something is missing in my life.
I hate knowing that he's going to be happy and I'm not.
I hate that I'm hung up on this and I can't wait for this to end.
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur
You will get through this. He's not happy he just thinks he is. He'll wake up soon and realize he's not happy.
Originally Posted by murrrcat
Why do you think he will? Everyone says that but I don't believe it. They say he'll regret it but I don't think he will. Its been going on for years and nothing changed and he let me go. Why would it change now?


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3c/4aish, high porosity, fine strands,medium density cottony curls.

LOVES: (editing)

Save $10 off your order at Vitacost by clicking here for a code.


I'm not obsessed: I just LOVE my hair!!





Because he had you both. He was never satisfied with that other woman that is why he waited until you found out to choose her. That is no way to choose a woman. He doesn't really want her and he doesn't really know what he wants. That is usually how it works with that type of person. However as long as you know what you want, at some point when all this is behind you (because this too will pass) you will meet someone else who knows what they want also.
Jo Somebody and cocodej like this.

SL
~APL~BSB~BSL~MBL~
WL

You never stop learning...
Because he had you both. He was never satisfied with that other woman that is why he waited until you found out to choose her. That is no way to choose a woman. He doesn't really want her and he doesn't really know what he wants. That is usually how it works with that type of person. However as long as you know what you want, at some point when all this is behind you (because this too will pass) you will meet someone else who knows what they want also.
Originally Posted by ricotdorothy
I never thought about it that way.


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3c/4aish, high porosity, fine strands,medium density cottony curls.

LOVES: (editing)

Save $10 off your order at Vitacost by clicking here for a code.


I'm not obsessed: I just LOVE my hair!!





Because he had you both. He was never satisfied with that other woman that is why he waited until you found out to choose her. That is no way to choose a woman. He doesn't really want her and he doesn't really know what he wants. That is usually how it works with that type of person. However as long as you know what you want, at some point when all this is behind you (because this too will pass) you will meet someone else who knows what they want also.
Originally Posted by ricotdorothy
*nods head in agreement*

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Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

-Albert Einstein
Discounts:iHerb: EZA283 for $5 off!, OCO522 for $10 off first purchase | Komaza Care Referral Code: J5Q362VG
Because he had you both. He was never satisfied with that other woman that is why he waited until you found out to choose her. That is no way to choose a woman. He doesn't really want her and he doesn't really know what he wants. That is usually how it works with that type of person. However as long as you know what you want, at some point when all this is behind you (because this too will pass) you will meet someone else who knows what they want also.
Originally Posted by ricotdorothy



And you will come out wiser, stronger, and even more of a blessing for the one you should be with Soleil.
James Baldwin
A Talk To Teachers
[...]
one of the paradoxes of education [is] that precisely at the point when you begin to develop a conscience, you must find yourself at war with your society. It is your responsibility to change society
[...]

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