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Old 01-15-2013, 11:14 AM   #19261
 
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I feel like I wasted 8 years of my life. All I did, all I gave was for nothing. My love was worth nothing. My time, my everything wasn't as valuable as hers.

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It feels like a waste, but it wasn't and you won't see it until later. You probably saw the signs that this was not a lasting relationship but ignored them. We all do because we want it to work. 8 years is a long time. You said that he was cheating for half the time right, so you had 4 years and that's a good thing even if it didn't last.

Hugs to you. It will get better.
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Old 01-15-2013, 11:44 AM   #19262
 
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My french mom is giving me champagne and telling me that with the right dress and makeup I will have a french bf in 3 months. I'm not sure I'll even be happy in 3 months.

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Old 01-15-2013, 11:55 AM   #19263
 
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damn! ups shipping has really gone up!
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Old 01-15-2013, 12:30 PM   #19264
 
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{{{{ hugs}}}} soleil
Can't wait for the hot french guy to happen.
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Old 01-15-2013, 12:31 PM   #19265
 
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I swear I need an outlet. My guest is suffocating me . I want space ... I need it !!!
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Old 01-15-2013, 12:55 PM   #19266
 
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damn! ups shipping has really gone up!
yep. price of petrol and lower demand I guess
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Old 01-15-2013, 12:56 PM   #19267
 
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My french mom is giving me champagne and telling me that with the right dress and makeup I will have a french bf in 3 months. I'm not sure I'll even be happy in 3 months.

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I agree with your french mum!

And you will be happier in 3 months.
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Old 01-15-2013, 01:10 PM   #19268
 
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OK, too many posts to quote, and yes I am late, but:

Soleil, you will not be happier in 3 months unless you decide to be. This sounds harsh, and I know it's hard but you have to realize what someone else said and that is that there have been signs about this all along and you ignored them (I recall a post you made about not being sure of him a little over a year ago). And just as you chose to ignore the signs then, you must choose now to go on with your life and what you want. Because you have to live with you with or without him. Again, I know it's rough but you need to realize that he clearly didn't want only you and you were not interested in sharing, so this is not where you want to be. It is difficult to accept, but when you start to do so, it makes it so much easier to put this behind you, stop mourning what you do not have and start opening yourself up for what you want in life. When you do that (not searching for it; just being open to it) you will find it. But you can't be bogged down with regret. I speak from experience.

And, I agree that with some champgne (and maybe cake), a new dress (and shoes), AND some lipstick, you should be feeling better soon. Just think about the future you have planned and focus in on it, and get some exercise to take your mind off it, it will be OK. (((hugs)))
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Old 01-15-2013, 01:43 PM   #19269
 
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^^^
You and the other poster were right. There were signs that I did ignore, but this end result I did not see. I know I have to pick myself up but while I feel better now since my french mom went in on everything down to his bedroom performance, tomorrow when all this wine and champagne is out my system and all my friends are in bed, I will be alone and feel like crap. I hate it but I do have to push through. Its just that days like today when I don't know if I can do it. I think about the situation and how unfair it is and I get down on myself. If I didn't spend everything in my name on that trip I would do some shopping, but right now I'm just trying to get out of bed in the morning. I feel weak. Weaker than I need and want to be. But I do want to be better and stronger. I just don't know how sometimes.

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Old 01-15-2013, 01:56 PM   #19270
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur View Post
^^^
You and the other poster were right. There were signs that I did ignore, but this end result I did not see. I know I have to pick myself up but while I feel better now since my french mom went in on everything down to his bedroom performance, tomorrow when all this wine and champagne is out my system and all my friends are in bed, I will be alone and feel like crap. I hate it but I do have to push through. Its just that days like today when I don't know if I can do it. I think about the situation and how unfair it is and I get down on myself. If I didn't spend everything in my name on that trip I would do some shopping, but right now I'm just trying to get out of bed in the morning. I feel weak. Weaker than I need and want to be. But I do want to be better and stronger. I just don't know how sometimes.

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Soleil, there are a great number of women who understand because they have been in your shoes, from Halle Barry to me. It hurts, and it will continue to hurt unless and until you take away the power you have given him and regain it for yourself. Once you realize, he is not, was not the person you thought he was, but that doesn't make you weak. It makes you a strong person who was willing to open herself up to love. Take time to heal, but please don't berate yourself.
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:24 PM   #19271
 
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Thank you, all of you. I haven't gotten 1 bad piece of advice from anyone here. You guys are amazing and I don't know if I would have been able to make it through the day if I didn't come here. Thank you.
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:31 PM   #19272
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by juanab View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by soleilmoncur View Post
^^^
You and the other poster were right. There were signs that I did ignore, but this end result I did not see. I know I have to pick myself up but while I feel better now since my french mom went in on everything down to his bedroom performance, tomorrow when all this wine and champagne is out my system and all my friends are in bed, I will be alone and feel like crap. I hate it but I do have to push through. Its just that days like today when I don't know if I can do it. I think about the situation and how unfair it is and I get down on myself. If I didn't spend everything in my name on that trip I would do some shopping, but right now I'm just trying to get out of bed in the morning. I feel weak. Weaker than I need and want to be. But I do want to be better and stronger. I just don't know how sometimes.

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Soleil, there are a great number of women who understand because they have been in your shoes, from Halle Barry to me. It hurts, and it will continue to hurt unless and until you take away the power you have given him and regain it for yourself. Once you realize, he is not, was not the person you thought he was, but that doesn't make you weak. It makes you a strong person who was willing to open herself up to love. Take time to heal, but please don't berate yourself.
Agree! You might have waisted 8 yrs but u have forever to not see or be with him. Keep your head up.


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Old 01-15-2013, 02:56 PM   #19273
 
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soleil if this helps at night, read a book. Like a really good book, like the hunger games or something you can get lost in, reading helps me sleep. I'm reading beautiful creatures (yes the one that's a movie coming out now) and I fall asleep after three pages. It's been a week and my book is still in the 20% range of being done. I struggle to stay up to read it. But it's a good way to not get lost in your mind. I do that often with anything, which is why I sometimes hate going to sleep because then I'm alone with my thoughts. So I read my way into sleep. I MEAN reading puts me OUT. I can't even press the button to turn my kindle off...I be gone.

Don't get beautiful creatures, it ain't that good.
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Old 01-15-2013, 02:59 PM   #19274
 
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I MEAN reading puts me OUT. I can't even press the button to turn my kindle off...I be gone.
I am so WEAK over this Turtles!!!!!!
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Old 01-15-2013, 05:39 PM   #19275
 
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I failed at my diet today. I ate 5 minature hershey's bars.

I've had a nagging headache all day and dealing with clients did not help.

Ready to go home and be with my kitties in my warm house.
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Old 01-15-2013, 05:51 PM   #19276
 
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I failed at my diet today. I ate 5 minature hershey's bars.

I've had a nagging headache all day and dealing with clients did not help.

Ready to go home and be with my kitties in my warm house.
Coily, that's not a fail. 5 minis won' t hurt anything. If it had been 15 minis, that is a different story.

Now go home and bask in some kitty love.
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:24 PM   #19277
 
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soleil if this helps at night, read a book. Like a really good book, like the hunger games or something you can get lost in, reading helps me sleep. I'm reading beautiful creatures (yes the one that's a movie coming out now) and I fall asleep after three pages. It's been a week and my book is still in the 20% range of being done. I struggle to stay up to read it. But it's a good way to not get lost in your mind. I do that often with anything, which is why I sometimes hate going to sleep because then I'm alone with my thoughts. So I read my way into sleep. I MEAN reading puts me OUT. I can't even press the button to turn my kindle off...I be gone.

Don't get beautiful creatures, it ain't that good.
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Old 01-15-2013, 07:33 PM   #19278
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by murrrcat View Post
soleil if this helps at night, read a book. Like a really good book, like the hunger games or something you can get lost in, reading helps me sleep. I'm reading beautiful creatures (yes the one that's a movie coming out now) and I fall asleep after three pages. It's been a week and my book is still in the 20% range of being done. I struggle to stay up to read it. But it's a good way to not get lost in your mind. I do that often with anything, which is why I sometimes hate going to sleep because then I'm alone with my thoughts. So I read my way into sleep. I MEAN reading puts me OUT. I can't even press the button to turn my kindle off...I be gone.

Don't get beautiful creatures, it ain't that good.
No book puts me to sleep like the Bible. Lord knows how many times I've told myself was going to read it all the way through from cover to cover. Somewhere between "In the beginning" and that begottening they like to do my eyes start feeling heavy and I'm out like a light. LOLOLOLOL!!
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Old 01-15-2013, 07:36 PM   #19279
 
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


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Old 01-15-2013, 07:44 PM   #19280
 
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More Taren drama. I'm pretty sure the point of requiring RSVP is to control the number of people allowed into an event. So common sense tells you have a cutoff and you don't RSVP every damn body. this is foshoghetto. My friend is an event planner and I don't see a professional doing this.

I Call BULL $HIT: Taren's Event - YouTube
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