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-   -   Not comfortable with newly chopped hair. (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/4/140760-not-comfortable-newly-chopped-hair.html)

Angels211 02-23-2012 10:31 PM

Not comfortable with newly chopped hair.
 
3 Attachment(s)
Hello Everyone:) I'm a newbie and i need a lot of help! I did the big chop on January 15th 2012. and i HATE it. i had been wanting to cut my hair off for about 3 yrs. i wanted the versatility, sexiness and sass that curls brings! after cutting my hair short and hating it i decided i might as well start they year off with curls like ive been wanting...which brings me to my cry for help. ive been wearing a full lace wig and refuse to let my hair be shown. even around the house. ive read about the importance of having a regimen and i wanted to know what is the best regimen for my hair since i wont be wearing it out for at least another 6 months and its so short tht i can't braid it or wrap it or keep it "safe" under my wigs.

My hair is extremely dry and i believe it has high porosity and i definitely think i should do co-washes! Please HELP ME.

p.s. i decided to leave my bangs for when i did quick weaves (since sew ins would be out of the picture) after doing a quick weave twice on my chopped hair i wont do it again! getting the glue out is too much work! and will just damage my curls.

*Marah* 02-24-2012 12:33 AM

Here is a website that you can check out so you can really learn all on your own and at your own pace about porosity and texture: www.livecurlylivefree.com

A great book is called "The Science of Black Hair" by Audrey Davis Sivasothy. Both are incredible resources for restoring your hair and learning about natural hair. Once you figure out for sure your porosity and texture you can come up with your own regimen.

I cut off all my hair recently as well (I've been natural for quite a few years though so I'm a vet when it comes to my natural hair care) and I wear wigs as well sometimes. I like wigs because unlike weaves you can just take the wig off every day and still care for your natural hair daily. I STILL co-wash my hair every day and moisturize. I also make sure my own hair is fully dry before I wear my wigs. I also keep my hair detangled regularly and I make sure I clean my scalp very very well.

If you are one of those people that just can't co-wash daily..and would prefer to have longer hair most of the time..why not try making your own u-part wigs where you just sew the perimeter. This way it won't take very long, you can feel comfortable and secure with having longer hair, and weekly you can take it down, wash, condition, and moisturize your hair..then you can simply re-use it or make another one.

Check out these videos to see what I mean:

How to Sew in a U-part Wig (to the side) tutorial - YouTube
Making my wig with a hot glue gun, Natural hair update, Hair I might review next - YouTube

Installing my 3/4 wig i made with a hot glue gun! =) - YouTube

Side U-Part Braid Pattern, Install "Tutorial" and FAQ - YouTube

QtBoutique 02-24-2012 04:22 PM

No one is going to be able to make a regimen for you. That's something you have to do on your own, because only you know your hair. You can come on here and say what your curl type is and list all the different properties of your hair, but that won't make a difference. You said your hair is really dry and possibly high porosity but that doesn't give enough information for someone to craft a regimen for you. How long does your hair stay moisturized? What do you currently use to moisturize. What makes you think it's high porosity? Does your scalp get dirty or oily quickly? If so, does co-washing really get it clean? Do you think sulfate-free shampoos might be a better option? Or would sulfates themselves be the only thing that would get your hair as clean as you like it?

You see what I mean? And that really just barely scratched the surface with all the things one would need to know to make your regimen. And if you know all these things yourself, the best person to make your regimen is you and will always be you. Just take some time to get to know your hair.

nana_banana 02-24-2012 07:39 PM

I think your curls look really cute in the last picture.

I have a suggestion. While you wait for your hair to grow out, why don't you try wearing the TWA around the house? Practice a bit on how you're going to style yourself. Impeccable eyebrows, eye popping make up, big earrings, etc? Play some confidence boosting music and admire your cute short hair. :)

Angels211 02-24-2012 08:46 PM

thanks for the idea! i definetly prefer wigs tho! i like that i can take them off and take care of my hair! prior to cutting i loved sew ins as well buht my problem after the chop is i have no length so braiding isnt an option...so im lost on protecting my own hair.

Angels211 02-24-2012 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QtBoutique (Post 1894021)
No one is going to be able to make a regimen for you. That's something you have to do on your own, because only you know your hair. You can come on here and say what your curl type is and list all the different properties of your hair, but that won't make a difference. You said your hair is really dry and possibly high porosity but that doesn't give enough information for someone to craft a regimen for you. How long does your hair stay moisturized? What do you currently use to moisturize. What makes you think it's high porosity? Does your scalp get dirty or oily quickly? If so, does co-washing really get it clean? Do you think sulfate-free shampoos might be a better option? Or would sulfates themselves be the only thing that would get your hair as clean as you like it?

You see what I mean? And that really just barely scratched the surface with all the things one would need to know to make your regimen. And if you know all these things yourself, the best person to make your regimen is you and will always be you. Just take some time to get to know your hair.

i see what your saying! im not rly looking for someone to make my regimen because ive seen through reading blogs its all different. i was more looking for people who wore wigs and had my same problems with dry hair and not enough length to braid or wrap their own hair underneath the wigs and what they did to help it so i can have a more solid path to start on. there are so many different products that i am at a lost. thats why i said i definitly would co-wash because i put absolutely no product in my hair since my chop. i mean nothing besides shampoo and conditioner at all.! and ive stopped using the shampoo. my hair doesnt stay moisturized for long. and based on the link Marah sent me i have low porosity and course hair and my hair and being oily is never a problem ive had.

Angels211 02-24-2012 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nana_banana (Post 1894133)
I think your curls look really cute in the last picture.

I have a suggestion. While you wait for your hair to grow out, why don't you try wearing the TWA around the house? Practice a bit on how you're going to style yourself. Impeccable eyebrows, eye popping make up, big earrings, etc? Play some confidence boosting music and admire your cute short hair. :)

i live with my fiancee, so walkin around with short hair which i dont like isnt something im okay with yet (even tho hes the one that shave my hair off for me lol)! as soon as i take off my wig my hair is wrapped in bandanna im going to invest in a satin bonnet tho ive hrd they're much better for your hair!

Jo Somebody 02-24-2012 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angels211 (Post 1894192)
Quote:

Originally Posted by nana_banana (Post 1894133)
I think your curls look really cute in the last picture.

I have a suggestion. While you wait for your hair to grow out, why don't you try wearing the TWA around the house? Practice a bit on how you're going to style yourself. Impeccable eyebrows, eye popping make up, big earrings, etc? Play some confidence boosting music and admire your cute short hair. :)

i live with my fiancee, so walkin around with short hair which i dont like isnt something im okay with yet (even tho hes the one that shave my hair off for me lol)! as soon as i take off my wig my hair is wrapped in bandanna im going to invest in a satin bonnet tho ive hrd they're much better for your hair!

You're not going to get comfortable with your hair if you never look at it.

Precious Curls 02-25-2012 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jo Somebody (Post 1894209)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Angels211 (Post 1894192)
Quote:

Originally Posted by nana_banana (Post 1894133)
I think your curls look really cute in the last picture.

I have a suggestion. While you wait for your hair to grow out, why don't you try wearing the TWA around the house? Practice a bit on how you're going to style yourself. Impeccable eyebrows, eye popping make up, big earrings, etc? Play some confidence boosting music and admire your cute short hair. :)

i live with my fiancee, so walkin around with short hair which i dont like isnt something im okay with yet (even tho hes the one that shave my hair off for me lol)! as soon as i take off my wig my hair is wrapped in bandanna im going to invest in a satin bonnet tho ive hrd they're much better for your hair!

You're not going to get comfortable with your hair if you never look at it.


Agreed. How do you expect to become confident and comfortable in something you don't take the time to admire?

damsel_fly 02-25-2012 12:18 PM

After you wet your hair, you'll need something to seal in the moisture.

Check out Girlsloveyourcurls and Naptural85 on Youtube. They have great (and simple) natural hair regimes.

hippychic 02-25-2012 12:53 PM

as far as all the hiding... maybe you need to just accept the fact that you're not ready for natural hair just yet (maybe never, who knows).

when i first bc, the key to moisture for me was daily co-washing and getting rid of silicone products. as far as the wig, you can still moisturize your hair under it and put on a wig cap to protect. wig clips (small little combs) are sold in the bss. i've seen them but never worn them.

colouredbeautiful of yt wore wigs with her twa.

Angels211 02-25-2012 05:26 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by hippychic (Post 1894501)
as far as all the hiding... maybe you need to just accept the fact that you're not ready for natural hair just yet (maybe never, who knows).

when i first bc, the key to moisture for me was daily co-washing and getting rid of silicone products. as far as the wig, you can still moisturize your hair under it and put on a wig cap to protect. wig clips (small little combs) are sold in the bss. i've seen them but never worn them.

colouredbeautiful of yt wore wigs with her twa.

this isnt my first time as a natural. just my first time as "healthy natural":) (below is a pic of me before cutting and relaxing my hair when i was 17). i got my a relaxer and it rly damaged my hair. but prior to the relaxer i never had a regimen or anything like that. if i wanted to wear my curls i put conditioner and gel on my hair while it was wet if i wanted my afro i let it dry and brushed it out...so its not being natural thats uncomfortable for me . having no hair is what i dont find attractive on myself.0

multicultcurly 02-25-2012 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angels211 (Post 1894687)
Quote:

Originally Posted by hippychic (Post 1894501)
as far as all the hiding... maybe you need to just accept the fact that you're not ready for natural hair just yet (maybe never, who knows).

when i first bc, the key to moisture for me was daily co-washing and getting rid of silicone products. as far as the wig, you can still moisturize your hair under it and put on a wig cap to protect. wig clips (small little combs) are sold in the bss. i've seen them but never worn them.

colouredbeautiful of yt wore wigs with her twa.

this isnt my first time as a natural. just my first time as "healthy natural":) (below is a pic of me before cutting and relaxing my hair when i was 17). i got my a relaxer and it rly damaged my hair. but prior to the relaxer i never had a regimen or anything like that. if i wanted to wear my curls i put conditioner and gel on my hair while it was wet if i wanted my afro i let it dry and brushed it out...so its not being natural thats uncomfortable for me . having no hair is what i dont find attractive on myself.0

It sounds like you had a good regimen before the relaxer. And your issue seems to be the short hair more than natural. Your hair is extremely short, so I can understand having to adjust to such a dramatic change in length. However, eventually, you will have to face your hair as it is. If a wig makes you feel better, then go for it. Just make a time table so that the wig doesn't become a crutch. Maybe after three or six months, see if you feel more comfortable with your natural hair.

And I agree with nanabanana that dramatic eye makeup, earrings, clothing or hair accessories may be necessary to make you feel more comfortable. For what it's worth, IMO, you look good with short or long hair.

*Marah* 02-25-2012 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by multicultcurly (Post 1894705)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Angels211 (Post 1894687)
Quote:

Originally Posted by hippychic (Post 1894501)
as far as all the hiding... maybe you need to just accept the fact that you're not ready for natural hair just yet (maybe never, who knows).

when i first bc, the key to moisture for me was daily co-washing and getting rid of silicone products. as far as the wig, you can still moisturize your hair under it and put on a wig cap to protect. wig clips (small little combs) are sold in the bss. i've seen them but never worn them.

colouredbeautiful of yt wore wigs with her twa.

this isnt my first time as a natural. just my first time as "healthy natural":) (below is a pic of me before cutting and relaxing my hair when i was 17). i got my a relaxer and it rly damaged my hair. but prior to the relaxer i never had a regimen or anything like that. if i wanted to wear my curls i put conditioner and gel on my hair while it was wet if i wanted my afro i let it dry and brushed it out...so its not being natural thats uncomfortable for me . having no hair is what i dont find attractive on myself.0

It sounds like you had a good regimen before the relaxer. And your issue seems to be the short hair more than natural. Your hair is extremely short, so I can understand having to adjust to such a dramatic change in length. However, eventually, you will have to face your hair as it is. If a wig makes you feel better, then go for it. Just make a time table so that the wig doesn't become a crutch. Maybe after three or six months, see if you feel more comfortable with your natural hair.

And I agree with nanabanana that dramatic eye makeup, earrings, clothing or hair accessories may be necessary to make you feel more comfortable. For what it's worth, IMO, you look good with short or long hair.

I totally agree. I didn't jump down her throat because it was obvious to me that she has no issue being natural..the issue is not really carrying for short hair on herself. Everyone is different and I understand where she is coming from.. I've just never been nuts about super short hair cuts on women..especially not myself. And simply because a person doesn't prefer themselves with short hair doesn't mean they aren't ready to be natural and shouldn't be.. blah blah. I've been natural for years, cut my long hair short recently, and I just seriously don't like it short point blank. I know I look alright with it short.. I just don't prefer it. I know for a fact I do look better with long hair since I've had long natural hair for years.

So I wear wigs for my own enjoyment and different looks that I can't do with my own hair at the current length it is.. it has absolutely nothing to do with my being ashamed of my natural hair texture or not being ready to be natural. Yet, I still take care of my natural hair EVERY day because wearing wigs shouldn't be a crutch to not caring for the natural hair and if one is trying to grow their hair out.. they BETTER take care of it wigs or no wigs.

We all have insecurities or awkwardness about something. If she feels more comfortable wearing her wigs around other people.. um... I feel like so what big deal. It's her hair and if she shows it now, 6 months from now, or never..that's her damn head.
Go head and rock ya wigs girl.. do what makes YOU feel good because at the end of the day can't nobody up on here live for you.. you have to live for you. :)

Jo Somebody 02-26-2012 09:36 PM

I hope you don't think I was jumping down your throat OP, I wasn't! But if this time around with natural hair you want to have a healthy regimen, the best way to start knowing what your hair likes (although it could change when it grows, admittedly!) is to play about and experiment in the TWA stage. If you want to become comfortable with your short hair, then really I still say hiding it won't help and it's going to be short for a while. Especially as your partner is supportive, wearing it at home every now and then could be great for you since if you do get comfortable, it opens up the option of having short hair again in the future if needed/wanted. Hopefully I've got 50+ more years to live, but I already know I will be happy to have short hair again in the future.
If not being comfortable with how your hair is atm doesn't bother you and it's just keeping your hair healthy that's your concern, then you've already been given good advice. :) And like I said, when it's longer, hair sometimes reacts to the same products/techniques differently, so look after it, but don't fret too much about exact schedules. This is the fun, freedom, experimenting stage! :D

Because your title mentioned not being comfortable, not just 'I'm looking for a wig regimen' or something, plus the fact that you said you're not ok walking the house with hair you don't like 'yet', I thought maybe getting used to the hair was important to you, in which case, you will have to see it. But, like Marah said, it's your hair/head, whatever you say goes. :dontknow:

Angels211 02-26-2012 09:42 PM

thank you all for your advice and support:) me sayin im uncomfortable with my hair was just to explain why im wearing the wigs! buht im gonna start trying different things out and hopefully my hair will grow long and healthy in no time.


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