What would you do?

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Say you were invited to a wedding as a bridesmaid or as the maid/matron of honor, but the bride doesn't want you to wear your hair natural with all its kinks and curls. She wants you to have it straightened because she claims it looks classy (or its something she prefers).

What would you do? Would you give in to her demands or ignore her with hopes that she will get over it?

It was just something random I was thinking about.

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I wouldn't be a bridesmaid. I'd go as a guest.


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Say you were invited to a wedding as a bridesmaid or as the maid/matron of honor, but the bride doesn't want you to wear your hair natural with all its kinks and curls. She wants you to have it straightened because she claims it looks classy (or its something she prefers).

What would you do? Would you give in to her demands or ignore her with hopes that she will get over it?

It was just something random I was thinking about.

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Originally Posted by LaCurlyMariposa
My girlfriend is getting married this coming weekend in an outdoor ceremony but before I accepted I let her know I would be honored to be a bridesmaid provided she didn't request that I straighten my hair. I don't wear straight hair, especially in the summer. Luckily, she was perfectly fine with that.

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I would decline and just go as a guest. I'm not risking heat damage for one day. Especially when I'm not even the focus of the day.
“Mama says pretty comes in all different sizes. And my size… is cute!” -Honey Boo Boo
What would I do? I would decline the invitation. OH...and no, I wouldn't "ignore" her request, hoping she would "come around". The fact that she brought it up in the first place indicates it's important to her. She has right to want what she wants for her wedding. I would just tell her if straightening my hair is a requirement, I would have to pass - if that's your stand on it.
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Last edited by Ninjarette; 07-04-2012 at 06:07 PM.
I would not be a bridesmaid or maid/matron of honor.
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What would I do? I would decline the invitation. OH...and no, I wouldn't "ignore" her request, hoping she would "come around". The fact that she brought it up in the first place indicates it's important to her. She has right to want what she wants for her wedding. I would just tell her if straightening my hair is a requirement, I would have to pass - if that's your stand on it.
Originally Posted by Ninjarette
Well said. I totally agree!!
What would I do? I would decline the invitation. OH...and no, I wouldn't "ignore" her request, hoping she would "come around". The fact that she brought it up in the first place indicates it's important to her. She has right to want what she wants for her wedding. I would just tell her if straightening my hair is a requirement, I would have to pass - if that's your stand on it.
Originally Posted by Ninjarette
Well said. I totally agree!!
Originally Posted by mcheryce
+1 I'm happy that so many of you would rather decline the invitation and be a guest than to try "ruin" the bride's day. Great responses!


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It's fine. It's divine. It's all mine


I would decline and just go as a guest. I'm not risking heat damage for one day. Especially when I'm not even the focus of the day.
Originally Posted by happyface
I thought about the heat damage as well!

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It's fine. It's divine. It's all mine


I don't straighten my hair, period. Now I would be willing to wear a wig or a rollerset since I do somethimes anyway. Otherwise (in my wise guy voice) forget about it.

I don't see why a bride would get all indignant about hair when she's probably going to make you wear one of those fugly bridemaids dresses anyway.
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I don't straighten my hair, period. Now I would be willing to wear a wig or a rollerset since I do somethimes anyway. Otherwise (in my wise guy voice) forget about it.

I don't see why a bride would get all indignant about hair when she's probably going to make you wear one of those fugly bridemaids dresses anyway.
Originally Posted by adthomas
That's an option. But see, once you imply that my natural hair isn't "classy", I have no interest in trying to work with you, because that's totally ridiculous and insulting...to me. I hate when peoplesay or imply that kinky hair isn't "classy" or "elegant".
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Last edited by Ninjarette; 07-04-2012 at 08:35 PM.
well for me it depends on whos asking, good friend, relative, or sister friend relationship because i would ask if a weave is ok.

i wouldnt mind depending on who was asking because i know everyone has a look they want on their wedding day

if it was someone who understood and loved me , id ask if a weave would be acceptable, if they said no then i would have to decline.

i dont straighten my hair for noone, unless its me
I was faced with the same situation. My now sister-in-law asked me to be in her bridal party and all the styles she selected for our wedding day looks required straight hair.
I straightened my hair. It wasn't an inconvience since it was just one day. I got to straighten my hair on my own terms, very careful with the amount of heat used and etc. It turned out fine.

I had fun and I would do it again.
I would weave or decline.

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Shrinkage happens.
I was faced with the same situation. My now sister-in-law asked me to be in her bridal party and all the styles she selected for our wedding day looks required straight hair.
I straightened my hair. It wasn't an inconvience since it was just one day. I got to straighten my hair on my own terms, very careful with the amount of heat used and etc. It turned out fine.

I had fun and I would do it again.
Originally Posted by Parissy198907
When my sister married last year I was prepared to straighten my hair for her. Once again I lucked out and she wanted my hair big and wild which I gladly complied. Outside of my siblings I wouldn't straighten my hair, its easiest to decline and attend as a guest.

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I was faced with the same situation. My now sister-in-law asked me to be in her bridal party and all the styles she selected for our wedding day looks required straight hair.
I straightened my hair. It wasn't an inconvience since it was just one day. I got to straighten my hair on my own terms, very careful with the amount of heat used and etc. It turned out fine.

I had fun and I would do it again.
Originally Posted by Parissy198907
It would depend on the person but it would only depend on the HAIR. My hair is fine and high porosity so a little bit of heat(and I tried) can give me heat damage. I would explain that, offer to wear a full wig, but like the other posters I would decline gentle and go as a guest.
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I don't straighten my hair, period. Now I would be willing to wear a wig or a rollerset since I do somethimes anyway. Otherwise (in my wise guy voice) forget about it.

I don't see why a bride would get all indignant about hair when she's probably going to make you wear one of those fugly bridemaids dresses anyway.
Originally Posted by adthomas
That's an option. But see, once you imply that my natural hair isn't "classy", I have no interest in trying to work with you, because that's totally ridiculous and insulting...to me. I hate when peoplesay or imply that kinky hair isn't "classy" or "elegant".
Originally Posted by Ninjarette
True but it could be a case of just wanting a uniform look. Like everybody in a french twist or something. I have been involved in a few things although not weddings where they wanted everyone's hair to look the same way. Dance team and cheerleading come to mind. It was a real pain bc my sponsor wanted styles that required longer hair when several of us had shorter hair. One year she informed the group we could no longer wear banana clips which ticked me off because I was the only one who wore them so why address the group. I have noticed most dance team, flag teams ect wear weaves now in high school and college.

Last edited by adthomas; 07-06-2012 at 12:54 AM.
I think a little diversity makes wedding photos better. if it was my sister or very close friend I would do it. She would have to get dealt with on that insult about classy natural hair though. I wouldn't ask people to change who they are for my wedding. One bride friend wanted me to remove my Hijab to be in her wedding. I dropped out. She did too.lol.

Everything in moderation?
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Say you were invited to a wedding as a bridesmaid or as the maid/matron of honor, but the bride doesn't want you to wear your hair natural with all its kinks and curls. She wants you to have it straightened because she claims it looks classy (or its something she prefers).

What would you do? Would you give in to her demands or ignore her with hopes that she will get over it?

It was just something random I was thinking about.

Sent from my beautiful HTC
Originally Posted by LaCurlyMariposa
I wouldn't ignore her, but I'd tell her that my hair will in no means be worn straight. If she does not give in then I'd tell her that I will be a guest at the wedding.
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