cat22

I just need to vent for a minute and then get advice when I'm done wallowing lol. I'm at a complete loss about what to do with my hair. Since going natural, my hair isn't what I thought it was. It's not very thick and hangs down instead of up and out, so I don't have those beautiful afros that I see that other people have. Honestly, I was expecting to have hair like Lauryn Hill when she has an afro lol.

Also, because my hair is not that thick sock buns don't like right with my hair. My scalp is wavy and as you move down to my ends the curls become more defined, so the ends of my hair are mixtures of spiral curls and large s curls. So, when I try to put my hair in the bun, it doesn't look right because my ends are so curly.

I don't know how to do any styles yet, so I only do a ponytail, but I hate pulling my hair back all the time. My hair shrinks a few inches when it dries to shoulder length. It is also prone to frizziness, so I'm not a huge fan of wash and gos. When I look at other hair pics on this site, everyone's hair looks so full and beautiful. I know that I shouldn't compare myself with others, but I don't know anyone else who has hair like me.

cora

I'm sorry that you're really frustrated with your hair right now. I'd suggest going to Youtube and looking at women who seem to have hair similar to yours with regards to length, texture, curl size. You might find some hairstyles that you love. Also remember that although you are cursing your hair, there are women with straight hair, curly hair, afros and waves who see your hair and wish their's was like yours. Folks aren't kidding when they say that the grass is always greener--you just need to learn how to mow your own lawn.

adthomas

No your hair is not like anyone else's. The first thing I suggest is you make peace with your hair and learn to to love it for its capabilites and its limitations. Find beauty in its uniqueness. Believe me there are ladies here that dont like that their hair grows out instead of down. Who would kill to have shrinkage that dried to their shoulders and large ringlets. When I Stopped fighting against my hair and let it do more of what it was "naturally" inclined to do my whole perspective changed and my hair improved dramatically. If you transition your hair but not your mind you are setting yourself up for frustration.

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Transition your mind before you transition your hair.

cat22

Thanks for the advice everyone! Adthomas you have the hair that I'm talking about! It's so beatiful. I really do need to start thinking about my own unique hair positively. I think that once I know how to work with it more, I will gain more confidence and be more content. Youtube is a great suggestion, so I plan to do some research there on how to care from my kinky and curly hair

CandiiMamii

Your hair sounds so much like mine. I definitely understand the thing about being wavy but only the ends are curly. the hair in my avi is the curliest it ever looked, but only because it was short then. I understand your frustration about wearing your hair 'out' because I don't even necessarily want to wear a fro but the wavy in the front curly in the back thing is frustrating and doesnt look right. I don't understand your frustration with your buns, I find it helpful that it's way easier for me to get a slick bun than most naturals but yet the curls help me have tons of volume in the bun part.

CandiiMamii

My frustration with my hair is that it doesnt hold things very well, such as braids and twists and such. But I have found that the grass is greener in terms of styles such as rollersets and braid outs, where a looser rather than tighter curl is beneficial, as well as with flat ironing because I often can just stretch out my curls by simply pulling it and go over it with the iron. I would suggest working on the rollerset or braidout depending on what you want/like.

Finally, I think if you want to try the wash and go I've actually found that I can't do what most people in this section would do, I either need very little product and just style my hair as if it were straight (like a cute pin up or boho braids or something) that usually gives distracts me from the curl pattern woes and also very recently I am learning how to get my hair to look as close as I can get it to the way it looks in the shower. I am liking the shape much better than I like the halfro I often used to get.

cat22

Thanks Candiimamii for the advice! I will definitely look into rollersets and braidouts.