Anti Weave Pastor

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I always thought a congregation looked to its leader for different forms of moral guidance (general messaging), not financial budgeting classes.

... I think his general message is good except that he might have included men who spend their money frivolously too, instead of just zeroing in on the women.
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I'm not at all offended by his message, probably because I'm not a fan or wigs and weaves; they just make my head hot, I can't take it. I get what the pastor is trying to say, but I think his approach might be off. Telling someone who is struggling and has poor financial management skills to stop wearing weaves is a weak partial fix to their problem. According to the article, he feels their problem is financial management, so maybe having financial/budgeting classes would be helpful as opposed to telling them not to wear weave. If they stop spending $300 on weaves, that money will probably just go to some other random expense they don't need; it's not going to help them save it or spend it wisely.
Originally Posted by secret_karma
You are so right. He shouldn't just tell people what they are doing wrong without showing them how to do better. I know a pastor in a poor neighborhood who does that. He may not know all the answers but he is smart enough to reach out to people who do. His church as brought in experts to held seminars on financial management, homeownership, dangers of those sketchy money lenders, criminal expungements, resume building ect. He is all about teaching a man to fish. He told me today if you give a child a dollar the dollar will soon be gone but if you teach him the value on a dollar he will hold onto that for as lifetime.
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"A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all." - Clive Davis
The preacher needs to do both - the preaching followed by the classes.

And yeah he needs to pick on the men as well. Then again maybe he did. Journalists and news reporters only report part of what someone says and often take it out of context.
LOL! If I had known it would lead to bashing journalists I would not have started this thread. Just kidding.
"A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all." - Clive Davis

Last edited by adthomas; 08-30-2013 at 12:08 AM.
Lovemenappy one of the points of religion is to give moral guidance.

So if a pastor or any religious leader sees his/her flock spending money they cannot afford on something that is frivolous rather than an essential item, it's their job to speak up about it.
Originally Posted by Blueblood
No. It's not his job or point of authority to tell a group of people how to spend their money. He is not Jesus. He is not God. He's a random man giving a Bill Cosbyesque rant based off of his experience with someone in his congregation.

This man is given more credit than he deserves. His rant was in regard to weaves. It didn't get any deeper than that. Banning weaves from a church does not in anyway prevent said person from spending their money frivolously. I didn't pay a dime for my last install, I'll be damned if I have someone preaching in my face about me wearing a weave and how I purchased it, when it's none of his business. What else will he ban? Shoes? Cars? What about if someone has a $20 lunch?...or the people that spend ungodly amounts *see natural hair community* on hair products? It's just stupid for him to point out weaves as if that is the culprit as to why people are not managing their money correctly....because it's not. There are a plethora of other people who spend their money recklessly and don't have a weave.

Yet another reason why I'm not religious or a Christian.
Actually Lovemenappy it is his job.

That is part of what organised religion is for.

Preacher and religious leaders tend to spend their time ranting about more important social issues such as poverty, certain types of abuse (while being abusers themselves) and in the past apartheid.

And I'm not religious either.
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Maybe part of the problem here is that everyone has a different expectation of what a pastor or preacher is supposed to do or not do; who they are supposed to be.

Like some of you, I don't see myself as religious, though I might consider myself spiritual. I'm genetically an Ashkenazi Jew (and conditioned more toward that), and my other parent is a staunch Christian. But frankly, I think ANY formal, organized religion is more or less one big Rorschach test and everyone sees what they want to see; hears what they feel like hearing and too many expect their God to be a kind of personal Santa Clause who delivers what they personally want. And then some people take it even further and expect their religious leaders to act like Santa's little elves - that their leaders should be in charge of their growth and welfare - their personal beck-and-call-boys (or girls).

I do see that a lot of good comes from religion (charity work, donations, some sensible advice), but I think religion is also a sanctified train wreck in certain ways. If you're an independent, critical thinker IMO, you tend to notice the many levels of magical and delusional thinking involved; how religion is often a thinly-veiled fairy tale salve for adults.
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3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
Speaking of weave I went looking for a doll for my little cousins. I prefer to buy them black dolls with curly hair because I want to teach them love and accept themselves.. Where I live finding a nice non white doll ie black, asian ect that is reasonably priced and intended as a toy and not a collector doll is pure luck. No luck today with finding a natural curly hair but I saw this one doll called So In Style Barbie. This is a line of black dolls and she comes with several hair pieces. I don't have kids so forgive me if this is old news.

NAPPY NATURALLY: Barbie Presents So In Style Dolls for Little SISters
"A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all." - Clive Davis
Lovemenappy one of the points of religion is to give moral guidance.

So if a pastor or any religious leader sees his/her flock spending money they cannot afford on something that is frivolous rather than an essential item, it's their job to speak up about it.
Originally Posted by Blueblood
No. It's not his job or point of authority to tell a group of people how to spend their money. He is not Jesus. He is not God. He's a random man giving a Bill Cosbyesque rant based off of his experience with someone in his congregation.

This man is given more credit than he deserves. His rant was in regard to weaves. It didn't get any deeper than that. Banning weaves from a church does not in anyway prevent said person from spending their money frivolously. I didn't pay a dime for my last install, I'll be damned if I have someone preaching in my face about me wearing a weave and how I purchased it, when it's none of his business. What else will he ban? Shoes? Cars? What about if someone has a $20 lunch?...or the people that spend ungodly amounts *see natural hair community* on hair products? It's just stupid for him to point out weaves as if that is the culprit as to why people are not managing their money correctly....because it's not. There are a plethora of other people who spend their money recklessly and don't have a weave.

Yet another reason why I'm not religious or a Christian.
Originally Posted by Lovemenappy
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Lovemenappy one of the points of religion is to give moral guidance.

So if a pastor or any religious leader sees his/her flock spending money they cannot afford on something that is frivolous rather than an essential item, it's their job to speak up about it.
Originally Posted by Blueblood
No. It's not his job or point of authority to tell a group of people how to spend their money. He is not Jesus. He is not God. He's a random man giving a Bill Cosbyesque rant based off of his experience with someone in his congregation.

This man is given more credit than he deserves. His rant was in regard to weaves. It didn't get any deeper than that. Banning weaves from a church does not in anyway prevent said person from spending their money frivolously. I didn't pay a dime for my last install, I'll be damned if I have someone preaching in my face about me wearing a weave and how I purchased it, when it's none of his business. What else will he ban? Shoes? Cars? What about if someone has a $20 lunch?...or the people that spend ungodly amounts *see natural hair community* on hair products? It's just stupid for him to point out weaves as if that is the culprit as to why people are not managing their money correctly....because it's not. There are a plethora of other people who spend their money recklessly and don't have a weave.

Yet another reason why I'm not religious or a Christian.
Originally Posted by Lovemenappy
One man's misguided attempt to help his flock do better and live better in no way, shape or form would ever make me denounce my love for a Jesus Christ. If you don't like his message, fine, but don't condemn Christianity in general, because you don't like what some random pastor preached.
Coily/low porosity/fine
BC 08*14*09

One man's misguided attempt to help his flock do better and live better in no way, shape or form would ever make me denounce my love for a Jesus Christ. If you don't like his message, fine, but don't condemn Christianity in general, because you don't like what some random pastor preached.
Originally Posted by caracara01
She didn't just condemn Christianity she condemned all religions.

You actually illustrate one of the reasons why some of us don't like religion.

One man's misguided attempt to help his flock do better and live better in no way, shape or form would ever make me denounce my love for a Jesus Christ. If you don't like his message, fine, but don't condemn Christianity in general, because you don't like what some random pastor preached.
Originally Posted by caracara01
She didn't just condemn Christianity she condemned all religions.

You actually illustrate one of the reasons why some of us don't like religion.
Originally Posted by Blueblood
Because I have an opinion too?
Coily/low porosity/fine
BC 08*14*09
I am not religious at all, Am I the only one who gave one of these faces -___- .
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See I think Caracara has made a fairly reasonable statement about her faith. Correct me if I'm wrong Caracara, but it seems you're saying you won't allow what a man preaches to get in the way of your relationship with your Higher Power. I think that is a wonderful sentiment because it means you aren't giving preachers the final say on what "Jesus says" or what "God wants". So much less hazardous than people who are willing to follow any ole leader, regardless of whatever s/he says.

I'm no Christian but I really dig parts of the Jesus story, like the message about loving each other and not "casting the first stone". Humans wrote religious texts so of course there are all sorts of flaws (including bigotry) in them too, IMO. And then people bring a bunch of politically expedient, subjective interpretations to the table and that kind of wrecks the whole party, at times. I think the way to make something positive of religion is to practice some independent thinking along the way; keep your motivations in check.

As for the statement that someone "hasn't condemned Christianity, but all religions". Well the context of this convo is a Christian preacher. And so really it's a pretty obvious "condemnation" of both Christianity and - on a larger scale - other religions. ... I mean, if that really was a "condemnation" (I'm personally unsure that was the case).
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3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
Actually Lovemenappy it is his job.

That is part of what organised religion is for.

Preacher and religious leaders tend to spend their time ranting about more important social issues such as poverty, certain types of abuse (while being abusers themselves) and in the past apartheid.

And I'm not religious either.
Originally Posted by Blueblood
I understand that part....but weaves, though? Once again, I think people are giving him more credit than he is owed. He specified weaves specifically. Like, that's all he said. He didn't say anything deeper. As if the root to all of black women's financial woes started with the bundles they had sewn in their head. His view is insulting to me. I don't see how anyone could have stayed in that church. I mean, what happens if someone does have a weave in, is he gonna be checking for tracks and then ask how much money they have in their bank account? Do people with medical issues, who's hair is falling out and wear weaves and wigs get a pass?


I've attended church and have never heard of someone "banning" weave or anything of the sort. Speaking on social issues and managing money? ABSOLUTELY. I've even attended churchs that held classes for just that, but this that he's talking about is just new to me.
Lovemenappy one of the points of religion is to give moral guidance.

So if a pastor or any religious leader sees his/her flock spending money they cannot afford on something that is frivolous rather than an essential item, it's their job to speak up about it.
Originally Posted by Blueblood
No. It's not his job or point of authority to tell a group of people how to spend their money. He is not Jesus. He is not God. He's a random man giving a Bill Cosbyesque rant based off of his experience with someone in his congregation.

This man is given more credit than he deserves. His rant was in regard to weaves. It didn't get any deeper than that. Banning weaves from a church does not in anyway prevent said person from spending their money frivolously. I didn't pay a dime for my last install, I'll be damned if I have someone preaching in my face about me wearing a weave and how I purchased it, when it's none of his business. What else will he ban? Shoes? Cars? What about if someone has a $20 lunch?...or the people that spend ungodly amounts *see natural hair community* on hair products? It's just stupid for him to point out weaves as if that is the culprit as to why people are not managing their money correctly....because it's not. There are a plethora of other people who spend their money recklessly and don't have a weave.

Yet another reason why I'm not religious or a Christian.
Originally Posted by Lovemenappy
One man's misguided attempt to help his flock do better and live better in no way, shape or form would ever make me denounce my love for a Jesus Christ. If you don't like his message, fine, but don't condemn Christianity in general, because you don't like what some random pastor preached.
Originally Posted by caracara01
LOL....there are a myriad of reasons why I'm not Christian or religious; me not being a religious person has nothing to do with the preacher, the mentality is just one out of MANY reasons why I am not.

If we are going to assume that a good portion of women in his congregation wear some form of a hair piece, than we can safely say that this preacher ostracized a large chunk of his own congregation as well as other people since his views went public. Banning someone? Really? Most Christians would accept those who were misguided to try and assist them in improving their life condition. THAT is what Jesus would have done. Not ban them from walking into what is considered the "Lord's House". He has some nerve. On a spiritual note, it isn't "his church", it's the Lord's House and he is simply a servant doing what God called him to do. This preacher banning people who don't live how he wishes them to live is NOT Christ-like, and I find it interesting that some people are quicker to point out other non-Christians assessment of that fact than to call out the preacher for his judgmental behavior. That is the irony.


Another reason I'm not religious, if you are curious, is the knee jerk reaction and defensiveness some people display when their religion's practices and or "leaders" are called into question. Constructive criticism is healthy and no one is exempt.


I am not sure if you are stating that I "denounced" Jesus, but if so...no. You are wrong. I actually pointed out that Jesus and God are the only ones of authority to judge other peoples' lifestyles. The preacher's job is to provide guidance; banning someone is not guidance. I denounced this preacher, yes I did. He is judgemental, self-righteous, and a host of other things, and is not a good representative for what, I was told, Christians stood for.

I simply stated that organized religion of any sorts was not right for me...and yes, this is one reason, out of many.
I'm not sure if you understood the point I was trying to make. This preacher's methods are questionable-no doubt. But as for ME, this man is NOT the spokesperson nor the poster child for Christianity, and as such, should not be used to bash the faith.

I hope that you know that there are millions of leaders in the church preaching and teaching the authentic Gospel of Jesus Christ. If you gave them a chance, maybe just maybe..........
Coily/low porosity/fine
BC 08*14*09
Saying "I'm not religious OR Christian" when Christianity clearly is a religion seems like an added swipe at that particular faith to me. I think this is inappropriate setting to be condemning people's religion whether it be one or all doesn't matter.I don't know the poster's intention was. Maybe it is being taken the wrong way. And if not no big deal to me because I don't concern myself with how other people feel about me loving Jesus. I don't have to share other people's beliefs to respect their beliefs. I have friends who are non-believers.
"A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all." - Clive Davis
My feeling is grown folks who don't want people in their business about how they spend their money should pay their all of their own bills. I don't care if people drive a new Benz and live in a shack unless that shack is public housing or section 8 which means my taxpayers dollars are giving them a place to stay. If grown folks want me to stay out of their busness they should stay out of my pocket. The truth is a lot of people are using government, church, charity money to provide their basic necessities while they want to ball with their money. My church runs a food pantry as do many churches so churches know who are those in need. We also have social services programs at my church. I'm glad we do But to expect the church and food stamps to feed your kids while you spend hundreds getting your hair (weave or natural) and nails done? Why people want to say others are being judgmental when they call out ratchet behavior? Even Jesus called people out when they needed it. I applaud the Rev.
I don't have a single bill that is not paid by me but if I ran into hard times and people were kind enough to help I wouldn't be so disrespectful and unappreciative as to throw my money away that way.
Originally Posted by adthomas
THIS is how I feel. Well said.

I pay my way and thank God for my blessings. He gave me the health knowledge and ability to work and with my God given ability to work And I truely believe God will open doors for us, but we have to choose to walk through them!
I was considered an orphan, a "ward of the state". So I did receive the federal pell grant for tuition, but I also EARNED several scholarships including two that paid tuition for 4 years. So even without the federal grant I earned my scholarships. I went to nursing school and married my husband, who did not qualify for a Pell grant and didnt get scholarships becuase his parents were on drugs and he had to raise himself. So he worked while I finished school and then we paid for him to go to school. One thing I believe the government should pay for is a college education. At least as long as a student meets academics.

There are truely those in need and my church has missions and charities as well. I'm a huge advocate of the ones that do things like take medications, glasses, and fix cleft palets in places like Africa. And in our own country people fall on hard times but it truely upsets me to see someone who can take their kids to Disney every weekend and have food stamps and government health insurance. .. oh and has 3 girls in dance class too, but her "in-laws" pay for the classes. I could barely afford ballet classes for one kid for a few months (luckily she decided she hated it) but why not get your in-laws to buy you food instead of the government?

This is where its really hard not to be judgemental. I really just want to love people and help people, but many know how to take such advantages of the kind hearted people. This woman I was speaking of also gets a lot of handouts from her church, from clothes to food baskets. Her nails are always done, highlights perfect, and kids always have brand new clothes and brand name shoes. And she can afford to take them to DISNEY every weekend? I have a slight problem with that. This person also gets half price child care.
Oh and she only works part time becuase if she worked full time she may not qualify for assistance! And her husband cant hold down a job becuase he is an ex;con and an alcoholic in and out of rehab.

I have to buy all my kids food and clothes, I pay full price for childcare,. Don't have family with money to shower them with gifts and pay for dance classes, wouldn't ask for assistance from my church unless I really NEEDED it. We don't have any theme park passes, we are on a tight budget. I manage to pay for my kids to take a karate class which is way cheaper than dance. But if I needed food I would cut back on spending before I asked for help.

Sorry for the rant... it just frustrates me so much.
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Last edited by Ashleynicol; 09-04-2013 at 09:04 PM.

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