Help with my daughters hair, please!

My daughter is 5.5 and has 4C hair. I'm at a loss on what to do with it. She has only had one trim in her life so when it's wet, it reaches her butt, when it's dry, it's at her shoulders. It is so incredibly thick that I can not get it into one ponytail. Putting it into 2 is a huge, huge struggle. The problem is that it is impossible to comb out. And if we don't comb it out, it's a giant brillo pad sort of look. We reached a new low yesterday as she stayed up 2 hours past bedtime crying because her hair was not done and it was so big her sleep cap did not fit. Then she woke up again at 12:45 this morning and cried for another 1.5 hours because her hair was not done. When I attempt to comb it, she cries and screams. We have been doing pretty good since the school year started with keeping it up in braids or twists of some kind but it gets these horrible little fuzzies in it and sometimes starts to smell icky so I feel obligated to take it all out and wash it once in awhile (generally I keep hairbands in while washing it so it's cleaner but not clean). Yesterday I made the critical mistake of taking it out of 2 buns and washing it. So now I have a whole head of hair to try to comb out and we're making no progress. I feel like if I could find something to weigh down/stretch out her curls, that might help but her hair is really fine so I don't know that I will find anything like that. What am I doing wrong? Or more importantly, what can I do? We don't really have any hair places around here that she could go to and all the people we know with her hair type are older and get their hair straightened. Help?!?!?!
My daughter is 5.5 and has 4C hair. I'm at a loss on what to do with it. She has only had one trim in her life so when it's wet, it reaches her butt, when it's dry, it's at her shoulders. It is so incredibly thick that I can not get it into one ponytail. Putting it into 2 is a huge, huge struggle. The problem is that it is impossible to comb out. And if we don't comb it out, it's a giant brillo pad sort of look. We reached a new low yesterday as she stayed up 2 hours past bedtime crying because her hair was not done and it was so big her sleep cap did not fit. Then she woke up again at 12:45 this morning and cried for another 1.5 hours because her hair was not done. When I attempt to comb it, she cries and screams. We have been doing pretty good since the school year started with keeping it up in braids or twists of some kind but it gets these horrible little fuzzies in it and sometimes starts to smell icky so I feel obligated to take it all out and wash it once in awhile (generally I keep hairbands in while washing it so it's cleaner but not clean). Yesterday I made the critical mistake of taking it out of 2 buns and washing it. So now I have a whole head of hair to try to comb out and we're making no progress. I feel like if I could find something to weigh down/stretch out her curls, that might help but her hair is really fine so I don't know that I will find anything like that. What am I doing wrong? Or more importantly, what can I do? We don't really have any hair places around here that she could go to and all the people we know with her hair type are older and get their hair straightened. Help?!?!?!
Originally Posted by momtoena


I know this is tedious however have you tried finger combing and for time sake do you use a denam brush instead of a comb or with the comb hold the hair toward the root hard and start at the bottom combing it out..Bless her heart I feel for her! How long is she keeping the braids and twists in? How are you putting the hairbands in when you wash it? What are you putting into her hair to detangle? I would suggest putting some conditioner in to loosen it up.
Fine hair is easy to weigh down. Just use products that are heavy. I am not very experienced with 4b/c hair, but from all that I have learned about it, it takes more time to deal with it than other types. However, you should be able to make wash day be a one day event. Look up GirlsLoveYourCurls on YouTube. She has a video on detangling children's hair with this same type.

There used to be happygirlhair that was a great resource, but the blogger took the videos and blog down. However, she did wash and condition her type 4b/c daughter's hair once a week. Usually, this hair type will have to be manipulated in some way - braids, twists, etc. - to hang down. Otherwise, airdrying will result in a shrunken afro. If you let it dry this way, then detangling will probably take a long time.

Do you use conditioner to detangle? Do you dampen or wet the hair while detangling? Do you leave some conditioner in as the hair dries?

Sent from my HTCEVOV4G using CurlTalk App
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
You mentioned she has only had one trim in five years. Sometime detangling problems is a result of ends that are in poor shape. I would examine her ends and look for splits and ssks and determine how much if anything need to be cut. I personally would never goes years without a trim.

Also if her hair is looking brillo pad then chances are her hair is not properly moisturized. Moisturized hair will be softer and softer is easier to comb.Examine her moisturizing regimen to seeif it is adequate. I also have very very dense hair which can be overwheling. It is better for me to work in sections. Also imo when it comes to tangles a ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Once I figured out what made my hair more prone to tangles I tried to avoid it. For example shampoo tends to tangle my hair so I smooth it in and only agitate at the scalp. When my hair was shorter I would shampoo condition as a whole but now I do it in 4 sections then I retwist and clip each section after done to avoid tangles as shrinkage sets in.. When detangling make sure hair is wet with a conditioner that has slip. For my aunt I told her to mix EVOO in her conditioner and let it sit maybe half an hour to soften her hair then start detangling then rinse it out. Worked great for her.. Make sure you use a wide tooth comb and work bottom up. How often do you wash and detangle? I think leaving braids in too long makes it harder because of shed hair. Good luck
"A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all." - Clive Davis
Ahhh I feel you mama! Very thick hair can be overwhelming. It's best to wash that hair in sections and only detangle when the hair is loaded with conditioner with lots of slip. Her moisture needs will determine how often to wash/condition. If her hair dries out easily, try to use shampoo less frequently and wash with conditioner only more often. Go for shampoos and conditioners with no sulfates because those are very drying agents for hair. You don't need sulfates to get your hair clean, trust me! Make sure you use a wide tooth comb when you need to comb out tangles, but finger detangling can be very helpful too. Try to avoid brushes all together.

Now for daily moisture, I would recommend avoiding products with mineral oil (and all its sister ingredients) because they tend to just lay on the hair and create greasy build up. If her hair is fine, it can actually be tamed pretty easily with product. Is her hair highly porous as well? (Meaning does it absorb water very quickly and dry out very fast?) if so, consider using a leave in conditioner followed by a moisturizer and an oil/butter. Your leave in can be the conditioner you wash with applied lightly, or it can be a product specifically marked as a leave-in. Moisturizers are water based products. If it's not very porous the oil may not be necessary to act as a sealant.

For styling I'd say continue to keep her hair stretched in braids or twists.

Hope that helps! Check the curlmart for some awesome products
My daughter is 5.5 and has 4C hair. I'm at a loss on what to do with it. She has only had one trim in her life so when it's wet, it reaches her butt, when it's dry, it's at her shoulders. It is so incredibly thick that I can not get it into one ponytail. Putting it into 2 is a huge, huge struggle. The problem is that it is impossible to comb out. And if we don't comb it out, it's a giant brillo pad sort of look. We reached a new low yesterday as she stayed up 2 hours past bedtime crying because her hair was not done and it was so big her sleep cap did not fit. Then she woke up again at 12:45 this morning and cried for another 1.5 hours because her hair was not done. When I attempt to comb it, she cries and screams. We have been doing pretty good since the school year started with keeping it up in braids or twists of some kind but it gets these horrible little fuzzies in it and sometimes starts to smell icky so I feel obligated to take it all out and wash it once in awhile (generally I keep hairbands in while washing it so it's cleaner but not clean). Yesterday I made the critical mistake of taking it out of 2 buns and washing it. So now I have a whole head of hair to try to comb out and we're making no progress. I feel like if I could find something to weigh down/stretch out her curls, that might help but her hair is really fine so I don't know that I will find anything like that. What am I doing wrong? Or more importantly, what can I do? We don't really have any hair places around here that she could go to and all the people we know with her hair type are older and get their hair straightened. Help?!?!?!
Originally Posted by momtoena
You have doing well so far, and you may already be doing this, but it wasn't stated in the post...It might make things a bit easier if you try cleansing her hair in braided or twisted sections (6 in back and 4-6 in front)? It makes life easier and is way less stressful on the hair.

If you are trying to find a product that might give her curl definition, you can try KCKT+/under Wetline Extreme Styling Gel or under Ecostyler (Krystal) Gel.

Co-washing also will help quite abit with softness. Suave biobasics conditioner makes for a great cheapie detangler, it parts hair like butter...

Good luck!
'Poo: Aubrey Organics or Suave Clarifying
or Liquid African Black Soap (only 4-ingredients ; awesome!)
Co-Wash: Aubrey Organics or Suave Condish
Condish: Aubrey Organics or Onion Mask or Yogurt
DT: Honey + Olive Oil + AO Condish or Yogurt mix
---
Best Gel Combo, Ever!: Elasta Qp Feels Like Silk Liquid Gel +/under Eco Styler [Krystal, Brown] Gel- awesome!!
I don't want to sound rude, but have you considered cutting her hair shorter so it's more manageable?

Having long hair is beautiful and all, but if it's a hassle and a hindrance to proper hair care, then there is no point in keeping it so long.
Hair type: Mostly 3C, medium porosity to high porosity depending on the day, dense, fluffy, dry, tangly!



I have 4c hair with fine strands and qhemet's burdock root works well (qhemetbiologics.com ). Always wash and comb in sections -only. If her hair is becoming to large for certain styles it is best to not force the hair- naptural85 on youtube has alot of hair and shows how to style section by section until you achieve the style. Also discoveringnatural has good hair info with children. For detangling, qhemet's moringa ghee put in the hair one section at a time is a life saver. I was really touched by the fact you are hanging in there to show your little one to care for her hair. Keep up the great work!

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