No kinky wash n go's to school !!?

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  • 1 Post By cora
  • 1 Post By curlicious13
  • 1 Post By Blueblood

The clues in the title basically, she says she loves the look she just thinks it's messy and it's just the way my hair is, their ain't nothin I can do about it unfortunately 😔😞 but she said I could when i got to college/sixth form HELP!
Another reason she gave is that since it draws attention to me in particular she doesn't want teacher to attack me or pick on me...
I'm sorry to hear this, I'm assuming you are talking about your mother.

This happened to me today--and I'm 40. I went to visit my aunt who is 65. I was sporting a banging wash and go--curls poppin and everything. My aunt commented that my grandmother (who is dead 11 years now)would have hated my hair (my grandmother would press my hair and put it into two long pigtails when I was a child). I know this is true, but I also know it is probably how my aunt feels about my hair, even though she wasn't consciously being mean about it.

It made me sad, not because she hurt my feelings but because my grandmother wouldn't have liked the hair THAT GROWS OUT OF MY HEAD. It made me sad that we have for far too long felt inferior and believed ourselves to be inferior. I brushed the comment off and stated out loud "oh well, that is what is growing out of my head".

I say this to say there are people who are misguided about black beauty and you can not let them hurt you. They simply do not love themselves. However, since this is your mother and I assume you are under 18 and living in her house, you are going to have to work with her. Find out what she's willing to let you do with your hair, but don't ever expect her to accept it.That is her loss. Maybe look at magazines/blogs together and negotiate with her.
pinkpostitheart likes this.

Last edited by cora; 10-22-2014 at 07:10 PM.
@PearlRowell it doesn't matter how you do your hair. If the teacher is going to pick in you they will.

Unfortunately some teachers are just prejudice against particular students.

Some of them are racist and/or sexist and don't know they are picking on a student due to this. I've seen Chinese as well as other kids pulled up due to this. The kids are normally boys picked on by a White female teacher. Yet when I was with them the kids did absolutely nothing wrong.

Some of them are classist and pick on students due to what they perceive their home life is.

Others end up picking on a kid because they look like a trouble maker they had a few years back. The ones that do this are more open to admitting this.

The main thing is for you to be happy with your appearance and not have any issues with your peers so you can get on with your education.

Another thing to think about is if your hair is very big it would be good practise to put your hair up anyway. Not because a teacher will pick on you but so you don't find things in your hair.

Oh and if you are in the UK lots of White people including teachers have no issue with natural hair there as some Black have a problem.

Last edited by Blueblood; 09-02-2014 at 08:13 AM.
My mom used to call my hair "wild" when my transitioning twist out would get less defined and if I just wore my hair big once I went natural. However I was 23 or 24 by then so I just ignored her. Now she is natural and once she saw that many people loved it, she hushed I still <3 my mom regardless.
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The clues in the title basically, she says she loves the look she just thinks it's messy and it's just the way my hair is, their ain't nothin I can do about it unfortunately 😔😞 but she said I could when i got to college/sixth form HELP!
Another reason she gave is that since it draws attention to me in particular she doesn't want teacher to attack me or pick on me...
Originally Posted by PearlRowell

Well wash and go's don't look right on Kinky hair. It just doesn't. It doesn't look right on any hair type(imo) but we are talking about kinky hair right now.
The reason I say this, is because it doesn't look neat. Now a fro looks neat. And a fro is a texture that only Kinky hair can achieve to perfection. But I've seen wash and go's and on any woman that has curlly hair it shrinks, goes frizzy and just looks a mess at the end. Imagine having to comb all of that the next day!!

Wash and go's look just as bad on straighter textures because it looks thin, limp and just ugly. I don't know why people like this style, but each to his or her own. I think people are free to like or not like as they please. As long as you are happy with it, you shouldn't give a crap what any of us think.
I have kinky hair (3c/4a hair). I can achieve popping curls that are frizz free. I look a hot mess with a fro which I'm sure will make a few scratch their heads. Mom at first hated my natural hair in the beginning and picked out my hair in the fro. I looked like I had dred locs. (Hot hellish mess) after my deva cut, my mom and I agree my hair looks great. Now she doesn't complain anymore. You can't let other detour your from doing what's best for your hair. If your teacher is mean, she will be mean no matter what you do or don't do. Her comments to you have nothing to do with you, but issues she has with herself.
Sandy Coils likes this.
@MIA1487 do you think men with big curly and kinky hair do anything but a wash n' go?

When women do wash n' goes they don't just wash and go they tend to spend 45 minutes plus doing their hair. Go to Curly Nikki's website and have a look at the hair styles on there, then come back and say the ones with wash n' goes look a "hot mess". Also look on YouTube to see how people do it.

You seem to be mixing up free form 'fros with wash n' goes. The former are picked out but not shaped, while the latter have lots if care taken into getting defined curls.
Sandy Coils likes this.
@Blueblood Thank you for clarifying that. I was almost offended by @MIA1487's comment, but then I had to step back and remember that everyone is entitled to their comments and opinions. I wear a WNG about 95% of the time because it's just easier. But you're right, I spend at least 30 minutes on this "simple" style. I make sure that my hair lays/falls a certain way and is moisturized and sealed.

Now my son, he wears a WNG fre form fro. The style is cute on him, but I would never let my hair "do" what his is doing, but that's his choice and I love him for being a risk taker.
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Everyone has their opinion on what looks good and what does not.


I have kinky hair and I have worn wash and gos. I have only received compliments on the style. I think it looks good not messy however I don't wear it a lot for several reasons. One being my hair takes an extremely long time to dry and I almost always wash my hair at night. So if I wear a wash and go it's the modified version and I get under my hooded dryer before going to sleep.


I think "afro" or "fro" doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. Some people consider it a picked out style while for others it's any hair that is big and poofy regardless of curl definition so yes some people would say a wash and go is a fro. Not everyone with kinky hair has an easy time achieving the picked out undefined look. If I pick out my hair dry it would break. If I wet it even slightly it will curl up more. Some of my hair is happily coily and resistant to giving up its coily shape. The only way for it to give is for me to go through it with a wide comb, then a fine tooth comb then use heat either from a blow out or a rollerset then try get my poof look. I did all this ONE time and got a big foxy brown look that was beautiful but even still would not stick straight up on top and kept falling over. Too much work. I'm glad I took a picture because I don't plan to do it again.
I must say I was offended by mia's comments but I also agree everyone has the right to their own opinion. I have kinky curly hair, and my wash and go is indeed that. Wash it then add product--which takes probably 2 minutes of styling time, maybe less. Once dry it turns into a fly fro (with a little fluffing--takes a minute). I say this to say a) wash and go's on kinky hair are awesome b)free form fros are awesome c) fros in general are awesome and d) kinky curly hair can in fact be true wash and go hair so long as you believe a-c.

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