Going overboard and taking natural hair to the extreme

ITA kitathena & subbrock. I would like to hear what more you had to say on the topic subbrock; I'm sure it won't fall on deaf ears.

Personally, I think the nappturality censorship is pretty hilarious; I like the creativity of "chemical fire cream" in place of relaxer. And I can see the point of changing all hair types into "nappy" even though I don't like the word. They're just trying to put across that despite Andre's letter and number combos we all have "nappy" hair; i.e. that naturally frizzy hair type that's been vilified for the past 500 years or so in America and around the world.

Once we get beyond that, maybe then we can get to the "it's just hair" stage, though I doubt what took so long to break can be fixed anytime soon.
I have a hard time ragging on NP because I know it helped me along in my early days as a natural. That site provides an excellent support system, great tips and for those who have have the most villified hair types. I don't agree with everything that goes on with the site, but I can definitely understand where the owner's viewpoint.

ITA, I think the censorship is kinda silly, however, it sort of serves as a constant reminder of the site's mission statement.
Currently using:

Poo: CON Sulfate Free poo
Rinse out: Tresemme Naturals
Leave-in: CJAOO Daily Cond
Styler: KCCC sparingly and Ampro Olive Oil Gel where needed
DT: KBB Lucious Locks Mask + EVOO/Avocado
and yet the most revered/stalked fotki's on the site are of women with the 3b/c pattern. jokes.


Yet I went to Long Hair Care Forum and there was a thread of great Fotkis and a lot of them were 4b's with some serious hair.

Keepitmoving, I'm not ragging on NP, I know it serves a good purpose. But if I were a member, I would be unable to use the avatar I use here because it has straight hair. Mass censorship just doesn't suit my needs. I am also a very inclusive person, and I feel I get stronger in a place where people have strong opinions and are able to express them freely (and respectfully). I doubt a topice of this sort would make it far on NP.
My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/


Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
Quote:
Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
and yet the most revered/stalked fotki's on the site are of women with the 3b/c pattern. jokes.


Yet I went to Long Hair Care Forum and there was a thread of great Fotkis and a lot of them were 4b's with some serious hair.

Keepitmoving, I'm not ragging on NP, I know it serves a good purpose. But if I were a member, I would be unable to use the avatar I use here because it has straight hair. Mass censorship just doesn't suit my needs. I am also a very inclusive person, and I feel I get stronger in a place where people have strong opinions and are able to express them freely (and respectfully). I doubt a topic of this sort would make it far on NP.
Originally Posted by Suburbanbushbabe

like we said, np isn't for everyone. people have to go where something works for them. i don't have a problem with their rules because i can understand why they were put there, but if i did have a problem i just wouldn't visit. there is another site that i barely even lurk on because...it just doesn't do it for me.

to each her own.

and if it were only hair...this thread wouldn't be posted, hell hair boards wouldn't be in effect, and the hair industry wouldn't be making the millions of dollars that it is.
Lady Hasytal in the Land of Product in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

"Trust is knowing your SO would do the right thing in the face of strange vagina." Nej
[/B]
i can' stand that hair board. for one, constantly refering to relaxers as "crack fire" or what have you, and disallowing the use of simple words or processes speak volumes of identity issues. ugh....if they luved themselves they wouldn't feel compeled to incite others to feel guilty about what they choose to do...i could go on for pages LOL
and yet the most revered/stalked fotki's on the site are of women with the 3b/c pattern. jokes.


Yet I went to Long Hair Care Forum and there was a thread of great Fotkis and a lot of them were 4b's with some serious hair.

Keepitmoving, I'm not ragging on NP, I know it serves a good purpose. But if I were a member, I would be unable to use the avatar I use here because it has straight hair. Mass censorship just doesn't suit my needs. I am also a very inclusive person, and I feel I get stronger in a place where people have strong opinions and are able to express them freely (and respectfully). I doubt a topice of this sort would make it far on NP.
Originally Posted by Suburbanbushbabe
I think that you could have that avatar. I think she just doesn't want any black women with straight hair as avatars.

Anyway I just wanted to add that I feel more comfortable posting here and have posted all of 2 times on nappturality, however, I do lurk there a lot. There is a lot of helpful information.

My blogs: NewlyNatural.com [COLOR="Blue"][COLOR="SeaGreen"][B]
My fotki pw:hair
and yet the most revered/stalked fotki's on the site are of women with the 3b/c pattern. jokes.


Yet I went to Long Hair Care Forum and there was a thread of great Fotkis and a lot of them were 4b's with some serious hair.

Keepitmoving, I'm not ragging on NP, I know it serves a good purpose. But if I were a member, I would be unable to use the avatar I use here because it has straight hair. Mass censorship just doesn't suit my needs. I am also a very inclusive person, and I feel I get stronger in a place where people have strong opinions and are able to express them freely (and respectfully). I doubt a topice of this sort would make it far on NP.
Originally Posted by Suburbanbushbabe
I feel you suburban. NP is not for everybody. I think it's about retraining the mental, though. It reminds me of when new church recruits become extremist...I usually find myself thinking "who exactly are you trying to convince, me or yourself?"
Currently using:

Poo: CON Sulfate Free poo
Rinse out: Tresemme Naturals
Leave-in: CJAOO Daily Cond
Styler: KCCC sparingly and Ampro Olive Oil Gel where needed
DT: KBB Lucious Locks Mask + EVOO/Avocado
Ok, so I'm on another website, which shall remain nameless, and I respond to a post by describing my hair type as 4A. How about when I submitted my response, the website automatically changed 4A to nappy. Ok...? On this same website I've noticed that when people talk about relaxers and perms, the words are always spelled weird, like p.erm for instance. Now, I understand that the website wants to keep the discussions about natural hair, but to censor a post that describes a hair types is, in my opinion, going a little overboard. What are your thoughts?
Originally Posted by TheseRCurls
I actually left two other site for kind of the same reason. I had just found out about natural forums and I did a search and found a really popular one, so very happy I dived in. Well let me tell you my head was all but chopped off because I responded to a post about getting her hair straightened for her husband. I said go get it done by the Dominicans and make him happy for the day then wash it. I think I was ostracized after that. It's like bigotry.
http://public.fotki.com/celeste821/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F25q6fPG9o
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?ai...7&l=4874f29ac0
oh, and the censoring drove me crazy. i thought that was inconsiderate to the members and was borderline juvenile.
Originally Posted by rainshower

You aint said nothing but a word my posts got deleted so much I felt targeted. On one of the sites I complained about a popular product that a lot of naturals use and it got deleted. One site was new, a sort of sister site to the more popular one, man my posts got deleted more times than the board was in existence. LOL
http://public.fotki.com/celeste821/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F25q6fPG9o
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?ai...7&l=4874f29ac0
i want to say more but i have a feeling it would fall on deaf ears...
Originally Posted by subbrock
I wish you would, I feel that at least over hear a conversation could be had without feeling like your about to get the ax.
http://public.fotki.com/celeste821/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F25q6fPG9o
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?ai...7&l=4874f29ac0
It reminds me of when new church recruits become extremist...I usually find myself thinking "who exactly are you trying to convince, me or yourself?"
Originally Posted by keepitmovin

I feel ya, thats what I was thinking. Then, their was a thread about this woman feeling down because she was turning 40, (I think), and she was thinking about perming. All the advice she got was don't do it, just get a cut and color. Then I started thinking how is color different? If it's ok to color then why not straighten?; it's all the same. I just found that to be hypocritical and it made me think about my decisions.
http://public.fotki.com/celeste821/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F25q6fPG9o
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?ai...7&l=4874f29ac0
well here it goes, my rant/manifesto/vent on hair boards (this could take a while, so bear with me):
being a woman of color, no matter what, hair is never just hair. because of american history, thats just the way it is. so when you have different hair boards catering to non straight hair, there are always underlying issues and feelings that women of color have. like on the site in question, at first i thought the filter was ridiculous. but i can totally understand why they are in place. im not one who is fond of being censored so if i want to say relaxer, i type reelaxer or flat.iron or 3 cee...you get the point. but obviously those filters need to be in place because like clockwork, in comes a new member talking about, "i hate my natural hair and where can i find a relaxer?" or "does miss jessies really work?" thats simply not tolerated over there. it goes against the site's mission and for good reason. now as far as the straight hair avatar thing goes, i think thats going a bit overboard, but hey, your site, your rules. if i dont like it i dont have to be there. and currently im reserving my right to not be there. but the thing i admire about that atmosphere is how no matter how long or short, curly or nappy someone's hair is, they seem to love it for whatever it is or whatever it isnt. they have continuous threads celebrating and showing off twa, cnaps (hair with no curl pattern at all) and non shiny hair. and i dont get that same kind of self esteem or positivity that i used to get from this site. hell, ive been natural for 4 or 5 years now, and im just getting to the point where i honestly have that same self esteem about my hair. so it hurts me when i see the same types of behaviors or questions being posted here. and for me, i feel like thats what the majority of postings on this board are about. if you dont have hair longer than your shoulders (or youre not trying to grow your hair out), if youre not trying to "turn your kinks into curls" then no one really cares. for me, i feel like its the whole "good" hair "bad" hair thing all over again, except no one is using those words.
all hair boards are so powerful in influencing us and i think on every hair board ive been to, what turns me off about them is either the attitude of putting others down to raise themselves up or raising up others so high that you put yourself down. but i guess its something we all have to work on.
Its funny because this post just made me realize that I am mostly a 4B or probably a 4C in many parts of my hair. No wonder my hair looks nothing like anyone's fotki's. Thank you CurlyNikki! I never understood the reference to z shaped curls until I read the post that you referenced. I have plenty of z shaped curls in my head. I just assumed they were curls that curled on top of each other. That is important for me because it will probably save me LOTS of money from trying the wrong products. I have been visiting the beauty supply store every weekend since I joined this site (LOL). You guys are VERY informed so I will definitely stick around.
in comes a new member talking about, "i hate my natural hair and where can i find a relaxer?" or "does miss jessies really work?" thats simply not tolerated over there. ....but the thing i admire about that atmosphere is how no matter how long or short, curly or nappy someone's hair is, they seem to love it for whatever it is or whatever it isnt. ...........and i dont get that same kind of self esteem or positivity that i used to get from this site. hell, ive been natural for 4 or 5 years now, and im just getting to the point where i honestly have that same self esteem about my hair. so it hurts me when i see the same types of behaviors or questions being posted here. and for me, i feel like thats what the majority of postings on this board are about. if you dont have hair longer than your shoulders (or youre not trying to grow your hair out), if youre not trying to "turn your kinks into curls" then no one really cares.
Originally Posted by subbrock
I am a member on the other site but I never really read much on there so I can't talk about how aggressive they may be with shutting people down but.. I really appreciate that this site does tolerate that many of us go through a period of insecurity with our appearances as we learn how to manage our hair. Hair is a rather important accessory for most women and men. Transitioning from wearing your hair straight with a relaxer to wearing it tightly coiled (now that I know I am a 4B heheee) is a BIG deal. I mentioned in another post that my hair was ALWAYS done and well kept (no split ends) and predictable with a relaxer. I am by far not a hair neat freak but it didn't take much for me to achieve looks that I liked and were as diverse as my daily appearance. With my natural hair, I am working on getting to the same place. I LOVE the feel of it and I LOVE many of the looks that I have experimented with. HOWEVER, I have not gotten to the predictable part yet. I sincerely appreciate a forum where I don't have to walk on eggshells when posting a comment as I conduct my personal research, express frustration, or report success (even though folks thought I was a spy for a hot minute). Is a curlie wrong for wanting curls to hang differently? Is a curlie wrong for wanting to be straight sometimes? I don't think so... its all about VARIETY. I change my hair like I change my underwear... daily.
Subbrock, what you said needed to be said and is greatly appreciated. I think we have to all be careful (if we care) to check ourselves every now and again.
Currently using:

Poo: CON Sulfate Free poo
Rinse out: Tresemme Naturals
Leave-in: CJAOO Daily Cond
Styler: KCCC sparingly and Ampro Olive Oil Gel where needed
DT: KBB Lucious Locks Mask + EVOO/Avocado
Is a curlie wrong for wanting curls to hang differently? Is a curlie wrong for wanting to be straight sometimes? I don't think so... its all about VARIETY. I change my hair like I change my underwear... daily.
Originally Posted by Variety
see i think you missed my point. variety and style choices are one thing, but there is an unsaid or underlying motivation for those choices that i think alot of people are afraid to say that they have. if we're going to get anywhere and use this as a means of personal growth then its time we have an honest dialogue about things. i dont think its necessarily wrong for wanting your hair to hang but if you have hair that grows out instead of down, why waste time, energy, and money being unhappy that your hair doesnt hang down? ive been there and it sucks. trying to "control" my hair or "fight" shrinkage or frizz or whatever natural characteristics come with my hair type just isnt a good feeling. and i think the more that people say, its solely about variety or i just like my hair that way and isnt real about it what struggles they may have about the way they feel about their hair is counterproductive and fake.
i would love to have a real conversation where everybody was open and honest about their feelings (past or present) and didnt hide behind the "thats just the way i like to wear my hair" statement. and if anyone does want to have that discussion it would make a great sticky thread.
I think the more that people say, its solely about variety or i just like my hair that way and isnt real about it what struggles they may have about the way they feel about their hair is counterproductive and fake.
I would love to have a real conversation where everybody was open and honest about their feelings (past or present) and didnt hide behind the "thats just the way i like to wear my hair" statement. and if anyone does want to have that discussion it would make a great sticky thread.
Originally Posted by subbrock
ITA w/ this post and especially the bolded suggestion. I think we could do with a thread like that on here. What would you call it though, something with hair insecurities in the title? I think it would be a great release for some, maybe even most people. I mean, I have had to check myself a couple times when I've seen some traces that old of that good hair/bad hair mentality rear its head when I thought it was long gone. It's important to be able to be honest about it so you can see where it's still lurking and pluck it out.
variety and style choices are one thing, but there is an unsaid or underlying motivation for those choices that i think alot of people are afraid to say that they have. if we're going to get anywhere and use this as a means of personal growth then its time we have an honest dialogue about things. i dont think its necessarily wrong for wanting your hair to hang but if you have hair that grows out instead of down, why waste time, energy, and money being unhappy that your hair doesnt hang down? ive been there and it sucks. trying to "control" my hair or "fight" shrinkage or frizz or whatever natural characteristics come with my hair type just isnt a good feeling.
Originally Posted by subrock
Because that could be someone's passage in their natural journey and acceptance and joy of their own hair. Suppressing it doesn't help them evolve through it. I don't think it helps to guilt or shame someone for wanting something they may not have. The entire cosmetics industry is built on this.NFrom what I've read here and other boards, very few naturals come out of the egg fully hatched and loving the texture and state of her hair.
My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/


Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
Quote:
Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
variety and style choices are one thing, but there is an unsaid or underlying motivation for those choices that i think alot of people are afraid to say that they have. if we're going to get anywhere and use this as a means of personal growth then its time we have an honest dialogue about things. i dont think its necessarily wrong for wanting your hair to hang but if you have hair that grows out instead of down, why waste time, energy, and money being unhappy that your hair doesnt hang down? ive been there and it sucks. trying to "control" my hair or "fight" shrinkage or frizz or whatever natural characteristics come with my hair type just isnt a good feeling.
Originally Posted by subrock
Because that could be someone's passage in their natural journey and acceptance and joy of their own hair. Suppressing it doesn't help them evolve through it. I don't think it helps to guilt or shame someone for wanting something they may not have. The entire cosmetics industry is built on this.NFrom what I've read here and other boards, very few naturals come out of the egg fully hatched and loving the texture and state of her hair.
Originally Posted by Suburbanbushbabe
I agree with this, which is why I think subbrock's idea of a thread were people can be honest about some of the perspectives they have or have had and how these may or may not be linked to some remnants of a hair hierarchy would be a good thing.
variety and style choices are one thing, but there is an unsaid or underlying motivation for those choices that i think alot of people are afraid to say that they have. if we're going to get anywhere and use this as a means of personal growth then its time we have an honest dialogue about things. i dont think its necessarily wrong for wanting your hair to hang but if you have hair that grows out instead of down, why waste time, energy, and money being unhappy that your hair doesnt hang down? ive been there and it sucks. trying to "control" my hair or "fight" shrinkage or frizz or whatever natural characteristics come with my hair type just isnt a good feeling.
Originally Posted by subrock
Because that could be someone's passage in their natural journey and acceptance and joy of their own hair. Suppressing it doesn't help them evolve through it. I don't think it helps to guilt or shame someone for wanting something they may not have. The entire cosmetics industry is built on this.NFrom what I've read here and other boards, very few naturals come out of the egg fully hatched and loving the texture and state of her hair.
Originally Posted by Suburbanbushbabe
I agree with this, which is why I think subbrock's idea of a thread were people can be honest about some of the perspectives they have or have had and how these may or may not be linked to some remnants of a hair hierarchy would be a good thing.
Originally Posted by jeamaria
Sort of like a "say it I dare you" for hair, where you can post anything, and it's all about posting, without responses?
My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/


Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
Quote:
Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.

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