Going overboard and taking natural hair to the extreme

jennifer, what a great post.

it makes me want to go over there and ask questions (why is banding okay but curl definition not?)!
All this drama really makes me want to start my own forum. allhairisbeautiful.com.
4a hair. MOD CG routine.

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But it still rubbed me a bit raw. Especially, especially when I saw that whole "non-chemical/heat manipulation" trend start happening. It's like, um excuse me, so someone's going to be crucified for asking a question about using gel to eliminate frizzies, yet there are step-by-step guides to using elastic bands to wrap sections of wet hair so they dry straight?

Oh, wait, more manageable.

Oh, wait, it's just another styling option.

Oh, wait, no, either come down on all of them equally or rethink the underlying principle. Because a lot of people on that site got just as caught up in altering the state of their natural hair in a so-called "nappy-approved" manner, as did the people who were caught up in pouring on entire bottles of conditioner+silly putty+monkey manure onto their hair to make curls fall out of the sky. Some people lived in two/four/six/eight/selective justice is so great-strand twists exactly because they have not grown used to their natural texture and might even fear it.
So true. And it's that double standard that is not attractive, or honest. Yet at the same time I understand the importance of np.com
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Last edited by Suburbanbushbabe; 08-31-2008 at 08:16 PM.

I remember those days when some of the nappturality posters were active here. Frankly, I'm glad Dee created the site so that they could get the heck outa here!! This became a much more peaceful place when they left. Good riddance!!
Originally Posted by AmberWaves
What were things like before these posters left?
Originally Posted by jeamaria
When I first joined this site (2001) everything was relatively peaceful. I don't remember any heated arguments about other people's hair choices. When someone asked about straightening, texturizing, or definition, other posters would respond with helpful hints, product recs, or what works for them.

Then a small, but vocal group of women started to attack those who wanted curl definition accusing them of wanting "good hair". There seemed to be curly vs. nappy WAR going on. I even remember a white woman being darn near beheaded for asking for help taming her biracial child's hair. It was a mess!!

Then, Dee started nappturality, all those women posted more there and less here. Eventually, the peaceful environment returned!!
Originally Posted by AmberWaves
OY- I so so remember those days. I actually took a leave of absence from NC.com b/c I couldn't take the conflict! I remember
  • transitioners (some who are here to this day and 100% natural now) who were chastised for transitioning too slow - JUST DO THE BC!
  • a certain poster who did the BC and labeled herself as 4a. She (her hair) was ADORED for it's texture and curl. Quietly, I always thought she was more in the 3 range. At any rate, she went and got a silkener from Curve. IMO, her hair looked similar. She was persona non grata afterward. She was slammed, made to defend her actions, and accused of never being 100% natural. I felt so sorry for her.
  • a certain poster who was labeling herself as 4a being called out for not being nappy enough. Her curls weren't stirrer size... COME ON!!!
When said site first started, I was all into it. I didn't realize it was for more tightly textured hair - in fact, I do not think it was originally stated as so. I allowed my pictures to be posted on the site on the hair type page and was labeled 3a (I do not think that's what I am). I liked going there.

It changed over time. I didn't like the way some posters treated women who were not highly textured or were natural but chose to flat iron or press. It didn't make one feel comfortable or part of the family. I stopped going years ago and when I went back, realized it was a totally different site with a very distinct mission.

Trust me, I understand the need for the site. It's just not for me. I've since found other sites that accept all kinds of hair and am happy. In the end, it's all about what where you feel supported and comfortable.

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Wavezncurlz, I remember the situation mentioned in your second bullet point. I too felt sorry for her because she was treated so poorly. I even sent her a few PMs about it.
AmberWaves
3c/4a
I haven't been over there in years. Have they calmed down or is it still just as bad?
Originally Posted by celeste821
From what I read recently on another hair board, it is, but its still hearsay. I haven't been since 2002-2004 and never had the desire to pay once that started if i was very lukewarm about the site.

I have zero desire to straighten my hair again so I don't need a site that does what I consider extreme intervention. I was very useful for me 9 years ago, but I'm cool now.
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I haven't been over there in years. Have they calmed down or is it still just as bad?
Originally Posted by celeste821
I think so. I'm a relatively new member, so wasn't around for some of the things I have seen mentioned. For example, I don't think they censor quite as much, even though many members still jokingly refer to relaxer as "chemical fire cream." Heat is still not an option there though.

The site was really useful for me for the first eight or so months after the BC. It really helped me grow confidence in my hair as it is. As someone who really did have deep-seated hair issues, I am grateful for the time I did spend there (and I may return if I ever go through another "hair slump" until I consider myself solid in my hair journey).
last relaxer 08/08/09
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Shrinkage happens.
I really commend Dee for what she has done. I joined there in 2004 when I went natural the first time and I KNOW that what I learned at NP was critical to my mental journey and I am so grateful for it!

At the same time, some of the militant attitudes did work my nerve and I rarely go there anymore because of it plus in the past the website had some major issues and I just got frustrated.

I don't think my mind would be where it is were it not for NP and Dee and I am grateful for the site.
3c/4a Natural
http://alliecat0817hairjourney.shutterfly.com/
I really commend Dee for what she has done. I joined there in 2004 when I went natural the first time and I KNOW that what I learned at NP was critical to my mental journey and I am so grateful for it!

I don't think my mind would be where it is were it not for NP and Dee and I am grateful for the site.
Originally Posted by AllieCat0817
I feel the same way. When I joined in 2006 I didn't know ish about being natural or transitioning. That site really showed me that even the most tightly curled hair can be beautiful and I never would have embraced that if it wasn't for NP.

I don't get why people have such a issue with the site. The mission statement is crystal clear. There are some very militant ppl there, so what? The same "know it all" attitudes are here and on other boards. NP is the only hair board that I see people openly complain about. I never understood why since its a choice, not an obligation to join.
3c/4a mix with an annoying loose wavy area in crown.

Thick Strands, Medium Density, Normal Porosity
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BC in Jan. 2009 after transitioning for about 2 yrs
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I really commend Dee for what she has done. I joined there in 2004 when I went natural the first time and I KNOW that what I learned at NP was critical to my mental journey and I am so grateful for it!

I don't think my mind would be where it is were it not for NP and Dee and I am grateful for the site.
Originally Posted by AllieCat0817
I feel the same way. When I joined in 2006 I didn't know ish about being natural or transitioning. That site really showed me that even the most tightly curled hair can be beautiful and I never would have embraced that if it wasn't for NP.

I don't get why people have such a issue with the site. The mission statement is crystal clear. There are some very militant ppl there, so what? The same "know it all" attitudes are here and on other boards. NP is the only hair board that I see people openly complain about. I never understood why since its a choice, not an obligation to join.
Originally Posted by quietstorm
I think people have stated why they have/had issues with the site. It those issues aren't issues for you, then that's fine. Those of us who weren't feelin' NP did leave, yet many of us (me included) see the need for NP, for some people, or for some people at a particular time in their journey.

I started my journey, before NP. I joined NP for social/entertainment purposes...not to feel good about hair, or to get support to embrace my hair. Having nappy/kinky/coily hair doesn't make one in need of "support", IMO. However, I understand that some people fear going against the grain, learning new haircare techniques, resisting societal pressure, not fitting in, rejection, ridicule, etc., and they need to feel like they're not alone. But not all of us come from a "I hate my hair, and I need to be deprogrammed, so please bring it on!" place.

I have mad respect for Dee, and I appreciate the mission of NP, although I don't necessarily agree with all of the ideology. Either you're ready to make peace with your hair, or you're not. Learn to be your best cheerleader, cuz sometimes it's just you.

If there was no NP, NC, Happy Kinks, Nappy Waves, Curly Curties, etc., I would still rock my hair proudly, as always, business as usual.
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Last edited by NEA; 07-10-2011 at 01:57 PM.
I've seen folk go extra hard on others at LHCF, here, and other hair forums but so far I've only seen NP get chastised. NP is no different than any other forum in my opinion. Forums are all the same to me. The only difference I've seen out of NP compared to other hair forums is that it is focused only on kinky or "nappy" hair. When I do have a question though, I head on over to NP. I don't see alot of "militant" folk there either. I'm not militant, but I am very pro black but their ain't no hair forum like that as far as I know.

Last edited by Plisskin; 07-10-2011 at 02:21 PM.
Was this thread REALLY resurrected?

As much smack as other hair boards talk about NP...I've never seen anything similar to this thread and the many like it over there. Something like this would be shutdown with a quickness.
I really commend Dee for what she has done. I joined there in 2004 when I went natural the first time and I KNOW that what I learned at NP was critical to my mental journey and I am so grateful for it!

At the same time, some of the militant attitudes did work my nerve and I rarely go there anymore because of it plus in the past the website had some major issues and I just got frustrated.

I don't think my mind would be where it is were it not for NP and Dee and I am grateful for the site.
Originally Posted by AllieCat0817
I agree with you on that. In retrospection, a huge thing that I think a resourse such as Nappturality helped me on was seeing the beauty in all hair textures and curl patterns. There was no emphasis on curl pattern, which I soon came to find out didn't matter. I joined the site back in 2008, which was when I started my HHJ. It is the first online community I joined

I can't say that I would have been caught up in the curl pattern typing frenzy if I hadn't found NP because I did my research. I knew/know my hair type. I don't think I've ever made a post asking for my hair type. I never needed to. Even though the whole hair typing system is hogwash, I never found it (and still think it is/doesn't have) to be an overly complicated thing. Look at the picture, read the description, and compare your hair. Hair typing is like matching your skin to makeup. You're not gonna be a perfect match to someone else. You're not gonna easily fit into a box. That is another reason why these people that come up on here and other boards and post pictures of their hair asking what their hair type is really grate my nerves. It's like some people are reaching out for hope that they aren't perceived to have a certain hair type....but that's another tangent.lol

Anyways, NP does deserve credit from me for cementing the necessity of appreciating all hair textures the way they are and KIM. No need to hierarchize certain hair types over others.

I don't go over there much, and haven't been over there pretty much at all lately. I lurk sometimes but I don't really participate. Not much activity there. I mainly researched over there. Now you have to pay to see the commercial hair product section and I don't feel like paying cus I barely visit the site as it is.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

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Ok, so I'm on another website, which shall remain nameless, and I respond to a post by describing my hair type as 4A. How about when I submitted my response, the website automatically changed 4A to nappy. Ok...? On this same website I've noticed that when people talk about relaxers and perms, the words are always spelled weird, like p.erm for instance. Now, I understand that the website wants to keep the discussions about natural hair, but to censor a post that describes a hair types is, in my opinion, going a little overboard. What are your thoughts?
Originally Posted by TheseRCurls
It sounds like a raw foods website I've visited where the moderators freak out if you mention meat. This website also does the same thing in some regards but I won't go there. Personally I think it's retarded.
Ok, so I'm on another website, which shall remain nameless, and I respond to a post by describing my hair type as 4A. How about when I submitted my response, the website automatically changed 4A to nappy. Ok...? On this same website I've noticed that when people talk about relaxers and perms, the words are always spelled weird, like p.erm for instance. Now, I understand that the website wants to keep the discussions about natural hair, but to censor a post that describes a hair types is, in my opinion, going a little overboard. What are your thoughts?
Originally Posted by TheseRCurls
It sounds like a raw foods website I've visited where the moderators freak out if you mention meat. This website also does the same thing in some regards but I won't go there. Personally I think it's retarded.
Originally Posted by blissdrops
Amen.

Besides, that's why I stopped frequenting raw food websites as well.
APL BSL MBL WL HL TBL | porous, fine/medium strands, medium density
My Fotki!
Below: Typical PS bun
Ok, so I'm on another website, which shall remain nameless, and I respond to a post by describing my hair type as 4A. How about when I submitted my response, the website automatically changed 4A to nappy. Ok...? On this same website I've noticed that when people talk about relaxers and perms, the words are always spelled weird, like p.erm for instance. Now, I understand that the website wants to keep the discussions about natural hair, but to censor a post that describes a hair types is, in my opinion, going a little overboard. What are your thoughts?
Originally Posted by TheseRCurls
It sounds like a raw foods website I've visited where the moderators freak out if you mention meat. This website also does the same thing in some regards but I won't go there. Personally I think it's retarded.
Originally Posted by blissdrops
Amen.

Besides, that's why I stopped frequenting raw food websites as well.
Originally Posted by greenandchic
Oh god. they exist?!

Big Chop: 11/25/09
Cottony/fluffy, medium/coarse, high density & porosity
SL - APL - BSB - BSL - MBL - WL - HL

It sounds like a raw foods website I've visited where the moderators freak out if you mention meat. This website also does the same thing in some regards but I won't go there. Personally I think it's retarded.
Originally Posted by blissdrops
Amen.

Besides, that's why I stopped frequenting raw food websites as well.
Originally Posted by greenandchic
Oh god. they exist?!
Originally Posted by itsKelCeeEee
For quite a while.
APL BSL MBL WL HL TBL | porous, fine/medium strands, medium density
My Fotki!
Below: Typical PS bun
Ok, so I'm on another website, which shall remain nameless, and I respond to a post by describing my hair type as 4A. How about when I submitted my response, the website automatically changed 4A to nappy. Ok...? On this same website I've noticed that when people talk about relaxers and perms, the words are always spelled weird, like p.erm for instance. Now, I understand that the website wants to keep the discussions about natural hair, but to censor a post that describes a hair types is, in my opinion, going a little overboard. What are your thoughts?
Originally Posted by TheseRCurls
Dang. I'm sorry, but BAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Like it's a cuss word, really?

ETA: I get it, but it's still funny to me. Like others said - it's too militant, but if that's how they chose to run their board, so be it.
~ Dense, fine, low porosity ~

Last edited by DaiseeDay; 07-11-2011 at 03:21 PM.

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