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Old 09-01-2008, 07:11 PM   #1
 
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Default What's up with other naturals???

Ok, so it feels so good to be 100% natural. I bced a few weeks ago. I find myself attracted to other natural ladies with beautiful curls. It always goes the same way. I compliment them on their curls and ask them what they use. I always get the same reply, "I just use any old shampoo in my hair. I just wake up and go!!" They don't like to talk about hair and could not even be bothered. I, on the other hand, spend hours online looking for advice. And although I'm not a product junkie, I couldn't use any old shampoo. I want to get up and go. I spend about 30 mins. on my hair in the morning. Is it just me, or do you guys encounter these same naturals? I feel like I have to come on here to get all my advice. Real life ladies, are just not giving up the goods!
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Old 09-01-2008, 07:15 PM   #2
 
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Think about it. Even with ladies who aren't natural, or who just press their hair all of the time...they will just use ANY old thing in their hair!! They don't do research, they are just stuck in the same ole rut that they've been in since high school.

So maybe they just don't take the time with their hair and whatnot so they don't have much to say. Me...I can talk about hair almost all day! lol
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Old 09-01-2008, 07:25 PM   #3
 
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I had read about this online but it wasn't until recently that it came up in real life. I was in a natural store and a woman came up and asked me what I used in my hair. When I told her (the products I had in my hair were the same I had in my hands to take to the counter), and explained my routine and so on she said she was really surprised that I answered all her questions and in detail.

She said most other naturals she asked were really stingy with this information, claiming they couldn't remember what they used and guarding it like a trade secret. I could understand if you're a hair stylist and you don't want to spoil your business by giving away all your techniques, but why the need to hide otherwise?

I don't doubt that there are some people who just get up and shampoo and have perfect curls, but I'm guessing most naturals have some kind of method. Even naturals I know who aren't as into hair as me know all have to have a certain approach to getting their hair to look a certain way. It might take 3 minutes, but it's still a routine.
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Old 09-01-2008, 07:37 PM   #4
 
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I love sharing my routine with strangers, lol. I get questions/compliments/comments everyday, and I enjoy playing 'consultant'. Its the best when I can tell that the person genuinely wants help.
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Old 09-01-2008, 07:44 PM   #5
 
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I agree with EmpressRi. A lot of people I know who went natural before me would answer me like that because they just didn't know there were other options for their hair. Luckily, a friend put me on to the site when I was entertaining the idea of going natural. I lurked on this site for months when I was just thinking about transitioning because I wanted to be educated about taking care of my hair before making any big moves. The day after I BCed, two of my natural sorority sisters inquired about my hair. Both of them complained about their hair not being able to grow and not being able to do any styles. I directed them to the site, and they were both intriqued by all the options that naturals have. At the next chapter meeting, everyone was so amazed at how much my hair has grown. When I think about some of the stuff I used to do to my hair, it could have easily not grown. I think when you know better, you do better. I'm not saying that my sorors don't take care of their hair, but up to this point, they've taken care of it to the best of their knowledge. So...wow...basically I used a whole lot of words to say that it doesn't surprise me when people tell you they use any old shampoo in their hair. Like EmpressRi said, they're doing what they've always done.
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Old 09-01-2008, 08:07 PM   #6
 
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Default me too

every time I see someone with natural hair I always try to get into a hair talk, the funniest one being the female officer who came into my apartment building to evict someone, we had a great little chat, then she had to go do her job *grin*

I find that now that I have started going natural, I tend to notice all the curlies and naturals around work and home
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Old 09-01-2008, 08:16 PM   #7
 
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There are naturals who just love to share products, maybe 80% of the population. And then there's the smug superior cow who thinks she's walking around with a state secret on top of her head. Luckily there are not too many of them and you can usually weed them out by their how high in the air their noses are.
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Old 09-01-2008, 08:24 PM   #8
 
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I find that usually the ones who are harder to get to than two armed pinkerton guards are the one's using all of the cheap, bad crap and they probably piled a ton of gel in their hair to make it look a certain way, and heaven forbid you touch it, it will crack like glass lol.

Anyone worth their weight in products will be happy to trade info! I looooooooooooove sharing info!!! It's a great icebreaker sometimes too!
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Old 09-01-2008, 08:37 PM   #9
 
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CClark I can definitely see your point. I live in the part of the country where people don't make eye contact- they just rush past you. So imagine trying to get some info from them.

This summer I notice alot of natural curly girls when I was out doing my club thing (lol). Someone stopped me yesterday and it caught me so Off - guard.

Sometimes I see a girl picking stuff up at a BSS and my intruding self would say hey maybe you should check this line out instead.

I do remember asking a girl on the train how she did her twistouts...and she just said I just grabbed it and twisted it. I was so mad, there's a thread lying somewhere around here about it.

Sometimes I wish girls would ask me for a tip or two. Last night, I saw a girl who kept staring at me or better yet my hair. Her hair was around my color- but it just looked oh so dry and undefined. There was no lush, nor nothing in it. And you could see alot of oil sheen or grease just sitting on top of it
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Old 09-02-2008, 12:11 AM   #10
 
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I don't mind sharing information with people, but for me it's all in how you ask. I visited a friend in the hospital, and one of the nurses asked me about my hair routine. I told her what products I used, gave her the websites and everything. When I was leaving the hospital later, she stopped me again with two other natural nurses, and I talked to all of them for about 15 minutes comparing hair stories. The very next day at church, someone said, what do you do to your hair to make it so curly, because I know it's not like that naturally. And I told her I don't do anything to it to make it curly, it is naturally curly, which is the truth. But I didn't even bother going into my routine with her, because of the way she asked me and how she was looking down her nose at me.
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Old 09-02-2008, 12:42 AM   #11
 
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I havent had a lot of people ask me about my hair but if I did I wouldnt tell them everything...

1.) im really shy (not to be confused with stuck up) so i try to answer as short and quickly as i can and then leave

2.) I feel that if anyone knew the lengths and time and money and products i go through with my hair they would think im crazy. Thats why i hang around you guys. Your just as crazy as i am.
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Old 09-02-2008, 05:17 AM   #12
 
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LMAO@Suburbanbushbabe's comment

I always tell people what I use in my hair, especially my family. I feel sorry for anybody that asks me cuz I could go on for hours about my hair products

I stopped asking people about their hair because the few times that I have THEY WERE WEARING CURLY WEAVES!!! How the hell did I not know. One was an annoyed co-worker who gave me a "damn it why you gotta blow up my spot on the elevator..you should KNOW this is a weave" look and the second person was a stranger at a bank trying to get people to open a checking account. I thought she had curlformers, her hair looked so cute! I asked her in front of a few people and she replied with an attitude "I bought it at the store" Doh! I won't ask again! Bostonian's on their way to work aren't the nicest people so I will sit quietly and admire people's hair in silence LOL
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Old 09-02-2008, 05:49 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cclark1 View Post
Ok, so it feels so good to be 100% natural. I bced a few weeks ago. I find myself attracted to other natural ladies with beautiful curls. It always goes the same way. I compliment them on their curls and ask them what they use. I always get the same reply, "I just use any old shampoo in my hair. I just wake up and go!!" They don't like to talk about hair and could not even be bothered. I, on the other hand, spend hours online looking for advice. And although I'm not a product junkie, I couldn't use any old shampoo. I want to get up and go. I spend about 30 mins. on my hair in the morning. Is it just me, or do you guys encounter these same naturals? I feel like I have to come on here to get all my advice. Real life ladies, are just not giving up the goods!
My guess is that they either a. Get tired of answering the same question over and over or b. swear that they have got the bomb hair and want to keep their routine a secret. Ether way, it is quite ignorant 4 them to hold out. I mean, please, it's only hair and the person asking you may never see you again anyway, so if they attempt to replicate that person's style, then the original natural will be long gone.

I also get the same answer from natural women here in Atlanta. I have stopped asking. I don't even stare at their hair anymore. They tend to be snooty at times. It could be, perhaps, from self image and self concious issues surroundiong being natural in the first place.

In conclusion: I have no problem telling people what I use on my hair. I tend to be very excited that someone asks in the first place so I spew out all kinds of info---possibly more than they ask 4.
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Old 09-02-2008, 07:08 AM   #14
 
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lmfao @ Mariah's comment ... haa haa I've been laughing for like 5 minutes at the thought of it.

You know what's annoying - when you go to the lengths of giving someone free product and they love how it works but once its finished they go back to their same old - same old.

I gave a former coworker products all the time and she'd always come back gushing about a few of them. But never repurchased them - but she would always come to my desk like dang that was a really good product. I'm so mad its done.

And I'd say well why don't you purchase it? And I'd get answers like "Girl I aint spending $20 on a hair product"...

grrr ... heffas!
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:21 AM   #15
 
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i might be one of those people youre talking about cclark!

a few times ive had people ask me what i use in my hair and for advice on being natural and im usually like i deer in headlights. i freeze up because everytime its been someone whos texture is tighter than mine and thicker but they say "i have hair just like yours". so i dont know if should tell them what i use on a daily basis (essentially just conditioner and oil. maybe gel if im feeling fancy) or if i should tell them what would work best for their hairtype...and i have no idea what works for other people's hair. i only know what works for me! i have super easy hair to deal with, so id feel bad telling them, "oh just get some elucence,oil and fantasia gel and thats all you need" when i know that thats probably not going to do the trick. then when i do tell them, i just use conditioner and oil and sometimes gel they usually dont believe me. i have no advice on transitioning because i didnt transition, i did a BC. plus i dont do styles like two strand twists because i hate the way it looks on me. i cant braid and i just prefer to not wear my hair in the same style for more than 2 days. unless its a wash n go. after all of that i typically say, "go to naturallycurly.com." but by that point i look like an idiot because ive spent so much time trying to figure out the best answer to give them.
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:55 AM   #16
 
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for me it depends on how I was approached and if the person is natural or not.

A lot of permies ask me about my hair. A lot of them come at me with the " what chemcial process do you use to get your hair to look like that". They are not interested in hair health, they just want to know how to achieve the look. For those people...they usually get the "leave in conditioner and gel" answer. I'm not lying...because I basicly DO use leave in conditioner and gel on my hair. Its too difficult to explain co-washes and all that jazz to someone that still is putting a quick weave in thier head and is only washing thier hair 1x ever 2weeks at most. If the person expresses an interest in wanting to go natural, then they will get a bit more from me...but usually I will direct them to either here, or two other hair sites that I frequent.

If the person is natural and i'm not in a rush, then I will stop and have a nice long conversation. Sometimes, its not about being rude, for me its sometimes aboutme being in a rush and not have 2 hours to explain CG to folks.
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Old 09-02-2008, 01:44 PM   #17
 
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cclark, I can totally relate. I get the same thing. A lot of people I've met face to face and asked about their routine, seemed real stingy with the information - so I don't even ask any more. Truth be told, those who did take the time to tell me what they used - i tried what they suggested and hated it, . It wasn't until I came here that I found all kinds of great information about transitioning and, then after my BC, about taking care of my natural hair that I realized that I was better off coming here and asking for advice. I was completely floored when I saw all these ladies on here with just amazing hair and they were sharing all their information, plus the stuff actually worked!!

Subbrock, I can understand your hesitation in giving out advice. Everyone's hair is so different anyway, but when you add different textures, types, etc. that makes giving advice even tougher. I would be worried about telling someone what I use, then they go out and get it and it just doesn't work for them.

I've only been asked once about the products I use, I just refer them here - then I don't have to worry about whether or not I'm giving out good advice or not.
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Old 09-02-2008, 02:06 PM   #18
 
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ROTFL!

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Originally Posted by Suburbanbushbabe View Post
There are naturals who just love to share products, maybe 80% of the population. And then there's the smug superior cow who thinks she's walking around with a state secret on top of her head. Luckily there are not too many of them and you can usually weed them out by their how high in the air their noses are.
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Old 09-03-2008, 02:01 AM   #19
 
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Originally Posted by cclark1 View Post
Ok, so it feels so good to be 100% natural. I bced a few weeks ago. I find myself attracted to other natural ladies with beautiful curls. It always goes the same way. I compliment them on their curls and ask them what they use. I always get the same reply, "I just use any old shampoo in my hair. I just wake up and go!!" They don't like to talk about hair and could not even be bothered. I, on the other hand, spend hours online looking for advice. And although I'm not a product junkie, I couldn't use any old shampoo. I want to get up and go. I spend about 30 mins. on my hair in the morning. Is it just me, or do you guys encounter these same naturals? I feel like I have to come on here to get all my advice. Real life ladies, are just not giving up the goods!
You've only been natural a few weeks. There are women who have been natural for several YEARS. They probably don't want to be bothered by discussing an old subject...especially with a stranger.

Also, people's routines differ. Just because one person has to spend a ton of time and a pile of gel + moisturizer on their hair doesn't mean that another person has to do the same. There are plenty of people with 5 minute daily routines who only wash 1x per week.
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Old 09-03-2008, 05:57 AM   #20
 
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Cclark, I'm sorry that's happening to you. I so rarely see another natural who isn't wearing a little TWA that they keep short, so I've not run into this situation. I hope I will get to see some more naturals now that I'm back at work, but most of our clientele come in with weaves, waterfalls (ya'll thought that was out of style, didn't ya?), and the occasional jherri curl.

LOL@SBB!

Maria, that is totally me! If I see a straight weave, I can usually recognize it. If it's curly, I can't tell. That's happened to me once before, never again. Now for me it's like asking someone if they are pregnant, I just dont' do it lol.
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