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Old 09-02-2008, 08:24 PM   #1
 
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Default College roomie issues

HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY everybody!

So I've haven't been stalking the boards as much lately due to my recent move into my college dorm, which has brought on a whole new set of problems for this coarse curlie. My two roommates are straighties and its a little weird to do my whole crazy routine in our little roomC (sectioning, dousing with conditioner, detangling, braiding at night or styling during the day with gel and a little oil to seal). Any ideas?
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Old 09-02-2008, 08:30 PM   #2
 
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Just keep doing it. It doesn't sound like it imposes on them, so why change?
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Old 09-02-2008, 09:44 PM   #3
 
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I really wouldn't worry about it. They're probably jealous of your hair anyway. Just do what you need to do and you'll be fine!
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:18 PM   #4
 
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Are they another race or are they other Black girls who wear their hair straight? My sophomore year in college I had a white roommate who asked why didn't I wash my hair everyday and why did I wear a scarf in the shower (I wore my hair pressed then). I never actually answered her but I gave her the "death look" and she got the hint after asking me a few times. It all depends on you as a person...personally I don't feel like I should have or do I really want to educate other races about what I do to my hair or why I do it. It's all about your personal preference...I have a friend who used to "educate" non-Blacks about our culture or why we do certain things. I just don't have the desire to do so.
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Old 09-02-2008, 11:44 PM   #5
 
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I'm not in college yet, but I got to a boarding high school so it's basically the same thing. You'd be surprised actually XD I felt the same way as you as well when it came to the long hair processes that I had to do in my room, and well, though she wasn't annoying at all and didn't ask many questions, my Korean roommate found my hair amazingly interesting o__o; and asked me why I didn't have curly hair. (This was before I started transitioning). It really depends on the people you room with I think. You either have the ones who think it's really cool and (for better or worse, want to talk about/touch it), the type who watch but don't say anything, and the type who just find it plain weird/bad. It doesn't matter because they're probably all jealous either way that you have such beautiful and interesting hair, like Yogini said. XD Don't worry about it.
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Old 09-03-2008, 04:14 AM   #6
 
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When I was in college (suffice to say, many moons ago, young grasshoppers ) EVERYONE of color was relaxed or pressed, braided or weaved. (Weaves were SO BIG then). MOST were relaxed with standing two week appnts. at their hair salon.

On my campus, I was a bit of an oddity--attempting to go au natural, then. No one was doing it. All I ever heard from other young women was,"...gurl, when you gonna' get your hair done?!?" Like it was hurting them somehow to have to LOOK at my hair.

Some of the guys seem to think it implied something about my sexuality. Um....yeah...whatever, dude.

Eventually, I got texturized (thinking it was natural...duh!) I dug it, it was easy to care for and I got a lot of compliments on it after that.

Thinking back on this, is so funny to me now. I've done so many things since then w/my hair. It's just hair, it always grew back. Looking back, how those people felt about my hair (or me) means NOTHING to me now. Don't even know any from that time anymore.

All of this is just to say, don't get too worried about what your roomies are thinking. It's your hair, your life, etc. Do what you want and what's best for you.

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Old 09-03-2008, 05:48 AM   #7
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jadeperidot View Post
HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY everybody!

So I've haven't been stalking the boards as much lately due to my recent move into my college dorm, which has brought on a whole new set of problems for this coarse curlie. My two roommates are straighties and its a little weird to do my whole crazy routine in our little roomC (sectioning, dousing with conditioner, detangling, braiding at night or styling during the day with gel and a little oil to seal). Any ideas?
I bet that can be a funny situation. I don't think there's anything you can really do about it except keep doing what you're doing. You are taking care of your hair and that doesn't seem to be common in our community. I do know some relaxed ladies on the other board who do some of the same things you mention, so they probably wouldn't blink an eye.

I am sure they are probably envious of your natural hair sometime though.

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Originally Posted by hautecocoa View Post
Are they another race or are they other Black girls who wear their hair straight? My sophomore year in college I had a white roommate who asked why didn't I wash my hair everyday and why did I wear a scarf in the shower (I wore my hair pressed then). I never actually answered her but I gave her the "death look" and she got the hint after asking me a few times. It all depends on you as a person...personally I don't feel like I should have or do I really want to educate other races about what I do to my hair or why I do it. It's all about your personal preference...I have a friend who used to "educate" non-Blacks about our culture or why we do certain things. I just don't have the desire to do so.
I had nothing but white roomates in college and all of them had enough since not to ask something like this. lol
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Old 09-03-2008, 07:24 AM   #8
 
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Girl, you keep doing you, as long as itís inline your hair goals donít pay any mind to what others are thinking. When I was in uni, why was I the token black chick on my floor. I constantly had to school folks on why I did what I did. In hindsight, what they think about your routine is irrelevant. If they thought it was weird, would you stop doing it? I sure hope not.
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Old 09-03-2008, 08:45 AM   #9
 
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Try not to sacrifice your hair's necessary routine for the sake of your roomies. Unless you are flinging conditioner everywhere onto their stuff, there should be no need to alter how you care for/style your hair. And even if they are another race, just let them gawk until they work up the courage to ask about it. As long as folks are respectful, I do teach others about black hair. I keep my answers short and sweet. How else will they learn? Glamour magazine def wont teach them.

Try not to let insecurities or differences keep you from doing what makes you feel good/beautiful. Soon they won't just see your hair, they'll see you.
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Old 09-03-2008, 09:40 AM   #10
 
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I had a white roommate last year (my freshman year) and I tried not to do my routine (straightening back then) too late at night since we both had early morning classes.

Do you share a bathroom? or is it communal? if it's the latter you can just chill in there for a while and do your thing. If it's the former then just set some ground rules about times for hair-ing and things like that so you both aren't in each others way when it comes to the crucial hair stuff You don't have to change anything in your routine, and you may not even have to change your schedule. Just asking about little things would be a nice start.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by hautecocoa Are they another race or are they other Black girls who wear their hair straight? My sophomore year in college I had a white roommate who asked why didn't I wash my hair everyday and why did I wear a scarf in the shower (I wore my hair pressed then). I never actually answered her but I gave her the "death look" and she got the hint after asking me a few times. It all depends on you as a person...personally I don't feel like I should have or do I really want to educate other races about what I do to my hair or why I do it. It's all about your personal preference...I have a friend who used to "educate" non-Blacks about our culture or why we do certain things. I just don't have the desire to do so.

Yea haha my old roommate asked me that, my ex-bf (also white) used to ask me too. I had fun explaining it to them and they understood; In fact they used to help me find and suggest things that could help my hair which really helped me overcome my product fear.




So yea jadeperidot, this could be a good experience for knowledge to be learned from the both of you. I hope it works out
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Old 09-03-2008, 09:55 AM   #11
 
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So yea jadeperidot, this could be a good experience for knowledge to be learned from the both of you. I hope it works out
I COMPLETELY agree with this!!

Don't let your roomies intimidate you into changing your routine!! But, at the same time I'd suggest being open to answering any honest questions they have. Sharing information and knowledge is the best ways to combat ignorance and misconceptions.
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Old 09-03-2008, 10:11 AM   #12
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jadeperidot View Post
HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY everybody!

So I've haven't been stalking the boards as much lately due to my recent move into my college dorm, which has brought on a whole new set of problems for this coarse curlie. My two roommates are straighties and its a little weird to do my whole crazy routine in our little roomC (sectioning, dousing with conditioner, detangling, braiding at night or styling during the day with gel and a little oil to seal). Any ideas?
is it that you are embarassed at all the steps it takes to maintain your hair? do they make you feel bad about your hair and its requirements? has one of them said something to you?

frankly, i don't see why you should feel uncomfortable with anyone, straight hair or natural, watching you section your hair to detangle, oil, or style it, so long as you are doing it in your part of the room and not infringing on their personal space and as long as you aren't using products with aromas that are robust and offensive to others.

don't they style their hair in front of you? i imagine that they, too, section their hair to style it, oil it, roll it, wrap it.

if you feel that insecure, you can always put your deep conditioner in your hair in the bathroom, wrap it up, and return to your dorm room to let it set before rinsing it out. that way, they won't see that part of your routine. and frankly, it's more appropriate to do that kind of grooming in the bathroom anyway. i had a roommate who was too liberal in the grooming she did in our room, that i would have preferred that she do in the bathroom down the hall.

good luck.
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Old 09-07-2008, 04:52 PM   #13
 
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thank you everybody for those awsome responses. Yea my two roommates are both white with straight, easy-to-manage hair (which does make me feel a little insecure, I'm not gonna lie). I also have a biracial girl in my dorm hair who straightens her hair everyday, and gives me the most curious looks when I rock my curly puffs. It's all just really weird. It doesn't help that I'm having a bad hair week, no money, and no good products. But thanx to everyone anyways.
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Old 09-07-2008, 06:00 PM   #14
 
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Claim your hair space and routine; they'll get used to it.. You don't have to explain your hair or justify it in any way. What don't they understand about different?
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Old 09-07-2008, 09:12 PM   #15
 
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Originally Posted by jadeperidot View Post
thank you everybody for those awsome responses. Yea my two roommates are both white with straight, easy-to-manage hair (which does make me feel a little insecure, I'm not gonna lie). I also have a biracial girl in my dorm hair who straightens her hair everyday, and gives me the most curious looks when I rock my curly puffs. It's all just really weird. It doesn't help that I'm having a bad hair week, no money, and no good products. But thanx to everyone anyways.
Don't feel insecure. Think of it this way. Their hair seems "easy to manage" because it is just straight, it does not do anything, your beautiful hair requires more time because it actually has life in it. I take pride in having hair that has intricate patterns and you should too. Now go take care of those beautiful curls.
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Old 09-07-2008, 09:52 PM   #16
 
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I must need to attend some kind of product junkie meeting in the basement of a church cuz the only thing going through my mind was "I need to tell her to lock all her products up so nobody will use them!" Ahahaha Whoever doesn't like my regimine.. actually I probably wouldn't even notice if they didn't like it or not. I'd be too busy hiding my $100 worth of conditioners LOL I'd need my own bathroom cuz it would be covered in products.

Sometimes we THINK people are paying attention to our personal things when in reality they're not. If they ask about your hair rituals just shrug or make up some crazy story you can post here and make us laugh.
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Old 09-08-2008, 12:02 PM   #17
 
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Originally Posted by hautecocoa View Post
Are they another race or are they other Black girls who wear their hair straight? My sophomore year in college I had a white roommate who asked why didn't I wash my hair everyday and why did I wear a scarf in the shower (I wore my hair pressed then). I never actually answered her but I gave her the "death look" and she got the hint after asking me a few times. It all depends on you as a person...personally I don't feel like I should have or do I really want to educate other races about what I do to my hair or why I do it. It's all about your personal preference...I have a friend who used to "educate" non-Blacks about our culture or why we do certain things. I just don't have the desire to do so.
I am with you. I had white roommates in college and I shut that down really quick!
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Old 09-08-2008, 12:41 PM   #18
 
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Just do you. I wouldn't worry about what they think about it. I think straight-haired people have their own crosses to bear. Working in retail I see alot of straighties with issues on style and maintenance. Its suppose to be easy to just brush and go but I now know thats not so.
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