My Biggest Fear

Ok, I know that I've been posting a lot lately. But I'm newly bced and I have questions!!! Ok, my biggest fear now is that I will not retain any length and be the same length at this time next year. I'm not even talking about the shrinkage. I see so many naturals who have stayed short (and not by choice) for years. How can I make sure that this doesn't happen to me?
Dare to be......remarkable!!!
Ok, I know that I've been posting a lot lately. But I'm newly bced and I have questions!!! Ok, my biggest fear now is that I will not retain any length and be the same length at this time next year. I'm not even talking about the shrinkage. I see so many naturals who have stayed short (and not by choice) for years. How can I make sure that this doesn't happen to me?
Originally Posted by cclark1
But what about the ones that have retained length? I truly believe that their reality doesn't have to be yours. I've seen some people be the same length.. usually they have a reason though. They didn't use the right products, they accidentally used too much heat, they are scissor happy, some don't use heat and shrinkage causes the illusion of no growth, and then sometimes there are those that actually like their hair short.

I hear ya though girl. If your hair grew 6 inches in one year wouldn't it make sense that your hair will do it again? I'm one of those hippy types that believes in the law of attraction. I only read success stories and when I save pictures of long haired women that I admire I tell myself that one day my hair is going to be just like theirs.

You have every right to be scared so don't think I'm yelling at you. The awesome thing is you've got websites full of awesome homemade recipes, products to try, regimens to copy, protective styles you can do... so its like an encyclopedia at your fingertips really. You're gonna be alright
- Maria

Big Chop: 9/23/07
Relaxer free for almost 5 years!

The most important things are moisture, detangling, and a simple maintenance routine. Proper moisture prevents breakage, detangling prevents accumulated knots that might eventually have to be cut off, and a simple routine prevents manipulating the hair too much which can cause breakage. For moisture, get a good conditioner, moisturizer, and deep conditioner ( I use Tresseme Natural, Cantu Shea butter, and Organics Africas Best Hair Mayonnaise, but there are other products you can use). Also, the type of shampoo you use is important; try to find one that does not dry out your hair ( I use sauve clarifying shampoo). For detangling, get a wide tooth comb or a brush like a denman, which alot of people recommend. As for a simple maintanence routine, try to do simple styles, even wash and go's if you prefer ( which is what I do). Try to stay away from excessive heat because that may lead to dryness. And also, just watch how your hair is reacting to the products and tools your are using. You may have to try different things until you find what works for you. My hair has grown alot in a few months, so this is what works for me. I hope that helped and good luck
Ok, I know that I've been posting a lot lately. But I'm newly bced and I have questions!!! Ok, my biggest fear now is that I will not retain any length and be the same length at this time next year. I'm not even talking about the shrinkage. I see so many naturals who have stayed short (and not by choice) for years. How can I make sure that this doesn't happen to me?
Originally Posted by cclark1
I TOTALLY feel where you're coming from. I've cut my hair several times. And when I say cut I do mean cut...like from below BSL to Nia Long short (in the Best Man) in one sitting. And every time I get a major cut I can't help but think the exact same thing you're thinking. As a matter of fact, I had this thought like a couple of weeks ago. But genetics has A LOT to do with most of what length is grown and retained. And I'm with Maria, will it to yourself and make it happen. I'm sending you you positive energy for life and hair growth.
I need and want help to take proper care of my curls.
http://public.fotki.com/CurlyDelta/ *added a few pics 12/30/08*
I have the exact same fear so you are not alone,I big chopped a little over two weeks ago (17 days i believe) and i have seen alot of naturals who are 3& 4 years out and their hair is still very short,I personally do not like my hair this short at all i am more comfortable with longer hair so i look to long haired naturals for inspiration and hope.I also look at their routines for tips and encouragement too.I am sending grow vibes your way
hugs,
MsC.
I can understand your fears cclark. I think the best thing you can do is just take care of your hair health, and learn how to listen to your hair. I'm approaching my one year anniversary and I've probably changed my routine like 20 times! LOL

But keep in mind that natural hair doesn't guarantee extreme hair growth. I think a lot of women have a misconception that our natural hair will grow like weeds. When in reality most naturals I know have achieved the same length they had as a relaxed head, but really haven't gone past that length.

But I'm sure that you'll experience some hair growth. Just remember that shrinkage is a beast! As your hair grows it may appear to not be getting any longer due to the shrinkage. But the length will be there!
I can understand your fears cclark. I think the best thing you can do is just take care of your hair health, and learn how to listen to your hair. I'm approaching my one year anniversary and I've probably changed my routine like 20 times! LOL

But keep in mind that natural hair doesn't guarantee extreme hair growth. I think a lot of women have a misconception that our natural hair will grow like weeds. When in reality most naturals I know have achieved the same length they had as a relaxed head, but really haven't gone past that length.

But I'm sure that you'll experience some hair growth. Just remember that shrinkage is a beast! As your hair grows it may appear to not be getting any longer due to the shrinkage. But the length will be there!
Originally Posted by CurlyTD
And that's the whole thing, you have to listen to your hair. I try not to listen to every advice I read, just try to work with what my hair needs. Like for example I know finger detangling leads to breakage for me so I don't follow that routine.

I always like to think that somebody else's reality doesn't have to be mine. I love Fotki, but I try to concentrate on the ones that have the hair I want to achieve and I ask them for advice on how they did it. Right now just concentrate on health and the length will come, trust me.
- Maria

Big Chop: 9/23/07
Relaxer free for almost 5 years!

This was posted on another forum, but I thought it would be appropriate for this thread since you mentioned fear that your hair might not grow...

Do you deep down believe you can grow your hair?

This is not about hair types or other people's hair.

I am asking do you believe in yourself and your ability to reach your hair goal.

If you dont believe your hair will grow, IT WONT.

This is something I am struggling with and maybe some other ladies are too.

I'm the type to dwell on my setbacks, which makes me doubt myself. And I think is the reason my hair wont grow.

Faith is a must, not just with hair but other goals as well.

Just wanted to share that this morning
- Maria

Big Chop: 9/23/07
Relaxer free for almost 5 years!

This was posted on another forum, but I thought it would be appropriate for this thread since you mentioned fear that your hair might not grow...

Do you deep down believe you can grow your hair?

This is not about hair types or other people's hair.

I am asking do you believe in yourself and your ability to reach your hair goal.

If you dont believe your hair will grow, IT WONT.

This is something I am struggling with and maybe some other ladies are too.

I'm the type to dwell on my setbacks, which makes me doubt myself. And I think is the reason my hair wont grow.

Faith is a must, not just with hair but other goals as well.


Just wanted to share that this morning
Originally Posted by mariag002
This is really good, thank you for posting this, mariag002.

cclark, I always remind myself of how I always had to go in to get my retouches when I was relaxing. Seemed like within just a couple weeks I was considering going in again. I figure if my hair was growing then with all those chemicals, it's got to grow now that I've given them up. Of course, things are different now - I've got shrinkage to consider, but even still when things get slow and it seems like my hair just isn't moving, I'll think about those retouches and know that if was growing then - it's growing now.

I assure you, unless you have something very serious going on healthwise - which I hope it not the case - your hair will most definitely grow.
Currently:Alaffia Shea & Coconut Enriching Shampoo, Alaffia Virgin Coconut & Shea Enriching Hair Lotion, Qhemet Amla Olive Heavy Cream, Qhemet Honeybush Tea Gel.

Last Texturizer: March 12, 2008
BC: July 21, 2008
Hair: Coarse, low porosity, iii.

Certified Denirophile

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different outcome". ~ Albert Einstein
I totally share this fear with you, cclark. I'm getting married in June! I know my hair won't be down my back, but I hope it's longer than it is currently. I just try to remain positive and not obsess over it. Maria's right. Your hair has grown before. As long as you consistently take care of it, there's no reason why it shouldn't grow again. I always look at the fotkis of short-haired curlies and check out their BC album and then their one year album to give myself inspiration. Your hair will grow.
i never thought i could have long hair. i think the longest its been was near bsl when i was in middle school, but ive been natural for almost 5 years now and i really wonder if i'll ever get to bsl. ive finally noticed some sort of growth even though its been there the entire time. i tend to compare how long ive been growing my hair with other people instead of looking at how short there hair was when they started. i went shorter than most people so of course its going to take longer. plus shrinkage is a biyatch! so im quite sure many people would think "she has short hair for being natural that long..."
i dont know. id love to reach bsl, but at the same time im loving my hair so im not too too concerned with length.
You are not posting too much. And I share your fear. It's only through massive applications of moisture (butters, conditioners) and protective styling part of the time that I have begun to retain some length. I can feel my hair on my back, just brushing my shoulders.
My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/


Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
This is interesting. I recently started focusing A LOT more on moisture because of the extent to which my hair was breaking off at the ends. It had grown a lot despite me being inconsistent with haircare (which I really can't afford to do with my hair as fragile and as *dry*as it is), but I found the gross condition of the ends was not a good tradeoff for length.

Long before CG days, when I used to press frequently, the back half of my hair was nearly BSL straight, yet the crown and front (which have terrible dryness, and brittleness) only reached chin length at that time.

I kinda don't believe those areas will grow to the length I want, (and live with a fear of lifelong mullethood skulking in the background) so I was surprised to see that until a couple weeks ago when I cut it the front of my hair had passed its previous peak.

I'm putting in more effort this time around to help retain growth but I never thought of it in terms of a positive thought process. I hope I've not been hindering my hair by not thinking this way; I'm not one of those people who can just tell themselves to believe and that work.
This was posted on another forum, but I thought it would be appropriate for this thread since you mentioned fear that your hair might not grow...

Do you deep down believe you can grow your hair?

This is not about hair types or other people's hair.

I am asking do you believe in yourself and your ability to reach your hair goal.

If you dont believe your hair will grow, IT WONT.

This is something I am struggling with and maybe some other ladies are too.

I'm the type to dwell on my setbacks, which makes me doubt myself. And I think is the reason my hair wont grow.

Faith is a must, not just with hair but other goals as well.

Just wanted to share that this morning
Originally Posted by mariag002

I really feel you on that...positive thinking/faith is a MUST!
I hear you, see you and feel you! Right before I happened upon this site I had just about written off my hair. I had made up in my mind that my hair was not gonna grow so I should just pick out a cut short hairstyle and roll with it. But after reading through all of the advice and seeing the hair journeys of others I got inspired. Now I am so proactive in my hair health and I am really just coming into an understanding of my hair and its (for lack of better words) personality and demands. My hair may not be as long as it has ever been, but it is more than likely healthier than it has been, and length is a bi-product of health!


"[My hair and I] are in an unhealthy relationship and I am the abuser."
--MissKinkyCoily

http://public.fotki.com/drawmuhfree/

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:08 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com