How do you feel about those that try to change their hair in some type of way?

sugartwist · 03-04-2009, 07:34 AM

I ask because I'm starting to see a lot of people wanting to use products to make their curls "curlier" than what they are. When it doesn't happen they seem to think it's the product and go out searching for another product that claims to produce the same results with yet another failed attempt after trying. It seems as though they want a curl pattern that just isn't going to happen no matter what product is used to elongate, define, etc.

I feel like women should just let their hair "do what it does" and appreciate what's on top of their head instead of trying to change it. Everyone has a unique curl pattern and until we start working with it instead of against it we will always feel that our curls aren't as curly (beautiful) as the next ones. I also feel sad when another woman feels that she needs those products to be pretty (so to say). I'm also upset that companies would make products out there knowing that women want the "curlier" look and knowing that the product wont be able to produce something like that on our hair.

Hakim Nuraldin · 03-04-2009, 07:57 AM

Well, I can only speak for myself, but I have learned to work with what I have. And I have learned that I have some pretty nice hair. Now, I cannot wash and go without putting something in my hair. It takes time and patience. Without it, it's going to be a shriveled dry @ss mess. I need oils and butters like oxygen. My hair likes that. I think that if you accept the kind of hair you have no matter the texture, for what it is, you can learn to take very good care of it. I love my hair and don't want anyone else's type, not knocking whatever they have, of course. I just think that what I have is unique and made just for me. I'm not mad at someone for trying to make their hair into what it isn't, I just think they would be more happy makin' it do what it do...LOL, 'cause I am.

msjaim · 03-04-2009, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sugartwist

I ask because I'm starting to see a lot of people wanting to use products to make their curls "curlier" than what they are. When it doesn't happen they seem to think it's the product and go out searching for another product that claims to produce the same results with yet another failed attempt after trying. It seems as though they want a curl pattern that just isn't going to happen no matter what product is used to elongate, define, etc.

I feel like women should just let their hair "do what it does" and appreciate what's on top of their head instead of trying to change it. Everyone has a unique curl pattern and until we start working with it instead of against it we will always feel that our curls aren't as curly (beautiful) as the next ones. I also feel sad when another woman feels that she needs those products to be pretty (so to say). I'm also upset that companies would make products out there knowing that women want the "curlier" look and knowing that the product wont be able to produce something like that on our hair.

I feel you on what u posted & Im glad u posted it. When I see similar topics I give honest reply, w/ out sugar coating. I think its point less to encourage someone to spend money on a product, that based on the info/ pics that they provide, I know will not give then the results they desire. as far as companies & their products, u really cant get mad @ them, because there are a ton of other women/ sisters who could actually benefit or get good results form using such products. But its up to the individual to be up front & honest w/ themselves & their napps.

Vagabond Davotchka · 03-04-2009, 02:09 PM

Could this be because many women seem to be in the wrong class of kinky/curly curls? I noticed forks in the 3a section that are clearly 3b and 3c and folks in the 4a section that are clearly 4b's and disappointed when they are told they are something other than what they clearly want to be. So instead of looking for products to moisturize or enhance what they already have, they are looking for products that will give them the curls they wish they had.

But it's been like that since the site has been here with this classification system, so that ain't gonna change. I just think

and shake my head. Whatever fits them.

mochakiss82 · 03-04-2009, 03:34 PM

I understand what you are saying, but that issue really has less to do with hair and more to do with acceptance. It can be difficult to adjust to a new look, and if you have preconcieved notions of what you hair will do opposed to what it does do. I think everyone is really trying to find their own way and the truth about what your hair can and can't do will come to light. You can't force what isn't there, but the journey to accepting that is up to each curly. :-)

That's part of the beauty of the journey!

ETA: Let me also say, I have no particular care when it comes to folks and their hair, because ultimately they need to be happy with it, not me. I am all about healthy healthy hair, now what you choose to do with it, is strictly up to you. I love a huge fro, just as much as I love some Kelly Rowland curls or a stick straight Dominican blowout. I love hair in all it's glorious versatility.

msjaim · 03-04-2009, 04:40 PM

i personally dont really care for hair typing, but will describe the shapes of my kinks, coils & napps W/ no problem.
Many folks who r in denial of their kinky hair often have issues that extend way beyond www.naturallycurly.com . for many ppl its a fear of admitting they have nappy hair & thats an issue, which may have to do with how they grew up or other warped trains of thought they may have learned from their family up bringing(have a few of these in my fam); that unfortunately trancends over into adulthood.
Like the sister above, im not over concerning myself W/ what the next person is doing to their hair, but the reasoning behind some folks actions concerns me sometimes.

AlYubbi · 03-04-2009, 06:38 PM

Watch it.
Share it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLxV35M3lVA

Cammyb · 03-04-2009, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mochakiss82

I I love a huge fro, just as much as I love some Kelly Rowland curls or a stick straight Dominican blowout. I love hair in all it's glorious versatility.

Couldn't have said it better myself. I concur

Alice_42 · 03-04-2009, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mochakiss82

I understand what you are saying, but that issue really has less to do with hair and more to do with acceptance. It can be difficult to adjust to a new look, and if you have preconcieved notions of what you hair will do opposed to what it does do. I think everyone is really trying to find their own way and the truth about what your hair can and can't do will come to light. You can't force what isn't there, but the journey to accepting that is up to each curly. :-)

That's part of the beauty of the journey!

ETA: Let me also say, I have no particular care when it comes to folks and their hair, because ultimately they need to be happy with it, not me. I am all about healthy healthy hair, now what you choose to do with it, is strictly up to you. I love a huge fro, just as much as I love some Kelly Rowland curls or a stick straight Dominican blowout. I love hair in all it's glorious versatility.

I agree with the bolded part, however, I can't help but think that the good hair/bad hair argument comes into play here. I'm sure you've heard women with 4b/c/z hair start to go natural only to realize that they have "bad" hair and run right back to relaxers OR to products that promise curl definition or like miss jessie's products" turn those kinks into curls" (I can't BELIEVE they use this as a selling line, it makes me so sad.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH KINKS!?!)

sugartwist · 03-04-2009, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlYubbi

Watch it.
Share it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLxV35M3lVA

That was so funny YET so TRUE. Thanks for that link.

Cammyb · 03-04-2009, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aello

Quote:

Originally Posted by mochakiss82

I understand what you are saying, but that issue really has less to do with hair and more to do with acceptance. It can be difficult to adjust to a new look, and if you have preconcieved notions of what you hair will do opposed to what it does do. I think everyone is really trying to find their own way and the truth about what your hair can and can't do will come to light. You can't force what isn't there, but the journey to accepting that is up to each curly. :-)

That's part of the beauty of the journey!

ETA: Let me also say, I have no particular care when it comes to folks and their hair, because ultimately they need to be happy with it, not me. I am all about healthy healthy hair, now what you choose to do with it, is strictly up to you. I love a huge fro, just as much as I love some Kelly Rowland curls or a stick straight Dominican blowout. I love hair in all it's glorious versatility.

I agree with the bolded part, however, I can't help but think that the good hair/bad hair argument comes into play here. I'm sure you've heard women with 4b/c/z hair start to go natural only to realize that they have "bad" hair and run right back to relaxers OR to products that promise curl definition or like miss jessie's products" turn those kinks into curls" (I can't BELIEVE they use this as a selling line, it makes me so sad.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH KINKS!?!)

I'm glad you mentioned the Miss Jessie's advertisement because I never thought of it like that. I just see their products as styling aids ... there are woman out their looking to their Hair Pudding as some miracle product. And they're feeding off of that.

Shea-girl-aloe · 03-04-2009, 09:30 PM

Cammyb

Quote:

I'm glad you mentioned the Miss Jessie's advertisement because I never thought of it like that. I just see their products as styling aids ... there are woman out their looking to their Hair Pudding as some miracle product. And they're feeding off of that.

That's true... There seems to be a very somber tone on NC in the 4 section right now. Why is that?

QVCDiva · 03-05-2009, 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cammyb

Quote:

Originally Posted by mochakiss82

I I love a huge fro, just as much as I love some Kelly Rowland curls or a stick straight Dominican blowout. I love hair in all it's glorious versatility.

Couldn't have said it better myself. I concur

This is also the way I feel. I've always viewed hair as an accessory.

Alice_42 · 03-05-2009, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shea-girl-aloe

Cammyb

Quote:

I'm glad you mentioned the Miss Jessie's advertisement because I never thought of it like that. I just see their products as styling aids ... there are woman out their looking to their Hair Pudding as some miracle product. And they're feeding off of that.

That's true... There seems to be a very somber tone on NC in the 4 section right now. Why is that?

I can't help but think a lot of us (ok, maybe it's just ME) are really frustrated with advertising/common notions about natural hair. I never realized how much of the good/bad argument appears in the natural hair community until I started looking more carefully at ads and how they play into natural women's (especially new naturals) insecurities. Have you noticed a lot of models in before pictures look like 4b/cs and their after pictures are more 3c/4a? Or how a lot of focus is payed to "defining" curls even if they aren't present?

I just feel like I've been played.

Sorry if this is unclear/ranty, I've spent the night cramming for a midterm and I'm thinking in terms of equations XD

sugartwist · 03-05-2009, 06:30 AM

Natural hair to me is BEAUTIFUL period. I don't care whether your curls are loose or tight. I like to see you become creative with styles (that's the beauty of being natural). It saddens me to see these women not accept their curls in all their glory by buying products that promises something (that as someone else stated very well can loosen someone with already loose curls up a bit more) but wont produce those looser curls for tighter curls.

Oh well....

mochakiss82 · 03-05-2009, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aello

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shea-girl-aloe

Cammyb

Quote:

I'm glad you mentioned the Miss Jessie's advertisement because I never thought of it like that. I just see their products as styling aids ... there are woman out their looking to their Hair Pudding as some miracle product. And they're feeding off of that.

That's true... There seems to be a very somber tone on NC in the 4 section right now. Why is that?

I can't help but think a lot of us (ok, maybe it's just ME) are really frustrated with advertising/common notions about natural hair. I never realized how much of the good/bad argument appears in the natural hair community until I started looking more carefully at ads and how they play into natural women's (especially new naturals) insecurities. Have you noticed a lot of models in before pictures look like 4b/cs and their after pictures are more 3c/4a? Or how a lot of focus is payed to "defining" curls even if they aren't present?

I just feel like I've been played.

Sorry if this is unclear/ranty, I've spent the night cramming for a midterm and I'm thinking in terms of equations XD

Advertising is so false. I sincerely wish we could do away with it. How many naturals do we see, whose hair has been blowdried before being restyled to appear natural? To prey on those who want a certain look, know they can never achieve it, is angering. But it also guaranteed money, look at all the Miss Jessie's and the Hair Rules lines, very expensive, but if you "buy it, you can achieve it". From a business standpoint, the companies are making money, so they are achieving their goal, but from a personal standpoint you have to sift through all the junk that you see and recognize what's real. Awareness is so key.

It can be very disheartening, and we just talking about hair, let's not forget about feature acceptance, body acceptance, complexion acceptance..and the list goes on

(I just really wanted to use that smiley!, LOL). I love fashion magazines as much as the next girl, but I know enough to know that is not reality. It's very much manipulated and false, but everyone isn't able to see that.

Shea-girl-aloe · 03-05-2009, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mochakiss82

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aello

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shea-girl-aloe

Cammyb

That's true... There seems to be a very somber tone on NC in the 4 section right now. Why is that?

I can't help but think a lot of us (ok, maybe it's just ME) are really frustrated with advertising/common notions about natural hair. I never realized how much of the good/bad argument appears in the natural hair community until I started looking more carefully at ads and how they play into natural women's (especially new naturals) insecurities. Have you noticed a lot of models in before pictures look like 4b/cs and their after pictures are more 3c/4a? Or how a lot of focus is payed to "defining" curls even if they aren't present?

I just feel like I've been played.

Sorry if this is unclear/ranty, I've spent the night cramming for a midterm and I'm thinking in terms of equations XD

Advertising is so false. I sincerely wish we could do away with it. How many naturals do we see, whose hair has been blowdried before being restyled to appear natural? To prey on those who want a certain look, know they can never achieve it, is angering. But it also guaranteed money, look at all the Miss Jessie's and the Hair Rules lines, very expensive, but if you "buy it, you can achieve it". From a business standpoint, the companies are making money, so they are achieving their goal, but from a personal standpoint you have to sift through all the junk that you see and recognize what's real. Awareness is so key.

It can be very disheartening, and we just talking about hair, let's not forget about feature acceptance, body acceptance, complexion acceptance..and the list goes on

(I just really wanted to use that smiley!, LOL). I love fashion magazines as much as the next girl, but I know enough to know that is not reality. It's very much manipulated and false, but everyone isn't able to see that.

Aello and mochakiss82,

I agree with you both. *sigh*

CoilyParisienne · 03-05-2009, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sugartwist

I ask because I'm starting to see a lot of people wanting to use products to make their curls "curlier" than what they are. When it doesn't happen they seem to think it's the product and go out searching for another product that claims to produce the same results with yet another failed attempt after trying. It seems as though they want a curl pattern that just isn't going to happen no matter what product is used to elongate, define, etc.

I feel like women should just let their hair "do what it does" and appreciate what's on top of their head instead of trying to change it. Everyone has a unique curl pattern and until we start working with it instead of against it we will always feel that our curls aren't as curly (beautiful) as the next ones. I also feel sad when another woman feels that she needs those products to be pretty (so to say). I'm also upset that companies would make products out there knowing that women want the "curlier" look and knowing that the product wont be able to produce something like that on our hair.

I never really cared or I guess I don't see a problem with women wanting to define their curls or use different products to style their hair. I do think it's really crappy that these companies make so much money off of us, taking advantage of the fact that we're looking for products that work for us.

But I think ALL women in general love definition when it comes to their hair (whether it's straight, curly, or kinky) and we're wont to exploring different options and products to find that definition. Why should Black women be any different or held to a different standard?

I think we're all entitled to use our creativity in exploiting the amazing flexibility that is Black hair.

CoilyParisienne · 03-05-2009, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mochakiss82

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aello

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shea-girl-aloe

Cammyb

That's true... There seems to be a very somber tone on NC in the 4 section right now. Why is that?

I can't help but think a lot of us (ok, maybe it's just ME) are really frustrated with advertising/common notions about natural hair. I never realized how much of the good/bad argument appears in the natural hair community until I started looking more carefully at ads and how they play into natural women's (especially new naturals) insecurities. Have you noticed a lot of models in before pictures look like 4b/cs and their after pictures are more 3c/4a? Or how a lot of focus is payed to "defining" curls even if they aren't present?

I just feel like I've been played.

Sorry if this is unclear/ranty, I've spent the night cramming for a midterm and I'm thinking in terms of equations XD

Advertising is so false. I sincerely wish we could do away with it. How many naturals do we see, whose hair has been blowdried before being restyled to appear natural? To prey on those who want a certain look, know they can never achieve it, is angering. But it also guaranteed money, look at all the Miss Jessie's and the Hair Rules lines, very expensive, but if you "buy it, you can achieve it". From a business standpoint, the companies are making money, so they are achieving their goal, but from a personal standpoint you have to sift through all the junk that you see and recognize what's real. Awareness is so key.

It can be very disheartening, and we just talking about hair, let's not forget about feature acceptance, body acceptance, complexion acceptance..and the list goes on

(I just really wanted to use that smiley!, LOL). I love fashion magazines as much as the next girl, but I know enough to know that is not reality. It's very much manipulated and false, but everyone isn't able to see that.

Yes, both of these points are very, very true...

naiha1 · 03-05-2009, 07:18 PM

To answer your question How do I feel...

I personally can't say I feel too much of anything about women who are trying to change they're hair. I think mochakiss82 said it best. I have to respect everyone's process. It is in my opinion an issue of acceptance. For some of us it's the same reason we ran to get a touch up quick fast at the first sign of some new growth! It took us all some time if we previously relaxed to get the courage to chop it all off. It's a process I have my moments when I accept my 4b hair for what it is and what it does other times I have to work a little harder. Others of us are merely expiramenting, seeing the possiblities of what your hair is capable of. Again it is about acceptance but that acceptance is a process.