I feel ugly

*I apologize in advance if anyone takes offense to this post*

Today marks my 7th month of transitioning to natural hair.

I'm at a total lost at what to do with my hair, right now it's either ponytails or buns during this transition. To tell you the truth, I hate both. I like the way my hair looks and feels when it's out, down and loose around my face. I've had a perm for about 12years, so that's literally half my life. So i'm used to waking up in the morning and taking 2mins to comb my hair out of a wrap and then going about my day. The fact that I can't do that anymore makes me feel self conscience about my appearance around other people.

I know that there are transitional styles, such as twists/twistouts, braids, flat twists, bantu knots etc. but at this point none of those things look very nice on me.

I just really feel the need to get a relaxer so I can feel pretty again. Cuz frankly, i don't know what I will be doing with my hair if I grow it out completely natural. It's not like I can wake up, comb it out and go in the morning. My mom has been telling me to just get some Sengelese twists or braids so I can get my mind off my hair for a while.

I'm just evaluating my entire reasoning for transitioning in the first place... It's not like my hair was damaged, or I had a bad perm experience I just thought that this would be the healthiest way to grow my hair, chemical free! But I wonder if it's really worth it? I'm about as low maintaintence as you can get for a girl, no makeup, perfume, jewerly, stillettos....none of that. I wake up, take a shower, put on lotion and clothes and go....so I can't see myself sitting down for countless hours at a time twisting, braiding, etc. my hair when all I had to do before was wash, and rollerset it then i'm done.

I'm sorry for the long rant...but I really needed to vent. If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to respond to this post.

Thank you!
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
Mini Chop: January 16 2010
BC: April 4 2010
Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
Have you ever thought about getting a wig? A lot of ladies use wigs/half wigs as a protective style especially during the cold weather. All you'd have to do would be to braid or twist up your hair, put on a wig cap, put on the wig and go. I feel that would help provide more variety for you plus make your morning routine simple. It would also help keep you from being tempted to relax your hair again.

Don't give up on what you're working to achieve. I know that it can get really hard especially during this time of uncertainty. It will get better for you. I hope I was helpful and good luck to you!!

I second the wig suggestion. You could also get a weave or braid extensions. I did those when I transitioned. You won't have to deal with the two different textures much and they'd protect your hair from breakage.
I understand how you feel. Me going natural was because I wanted to show my natural hair and accept myself just as I am. I didnt want to keep wearing my hair straight just because everyone else was.


so what prompted you to go the natural route?

I dont feel everyone should just jump into going natural if you dont feel the need to, its not for everyone , just as relaxing isnt for everyone.

Some naturals flatiron and heat style , some dont. its a matter of choice. What would make you happy? I know you can still rollerset as a natural. Have you tried that?
Have you ever thought about getting a wig? A lot of ladies use wigs/half wigs as a protective style especially during the cold weather. All you'd have to do would be to braid or twist up your hair, put on a wig cap, put on the wig and go. I feel that would help provide more variety for you plus make your morning routine simple. It would also help keep you from being tempted to relax your hair again.

Don't give up on what you're working to achieve. I know that it can get really hard especially during this time of uncertainty. It will get better for you. I hope I was helpful and good luck to you!!
Originally Posted by Booker Ts Mama
I second the wig suggestion. You could also get a weave or braid extensions. I did those when I transitioned. You won't have to deal with the two different textures much and they'd protect your hair from breakage.
Originally Posted by LadyV69

I've never thought of a wig,i'm not sure if that idea fully appeals to me but it is a simple and logical alternative. Do you know of any website/stores that carry good quality wigs?

As of right now i'm leaning more towards getting twists or box braids. I'm actually going to call up my local hair braiding salon to ask about pricing today.

Thanks so much for your suggestions!
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
Mini Chop: January 16 2010
BC: April 4 2010
Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
I understand how you feel. Me going natural was because I wanted to show my natural hair and accept myself just as I am. I didnt want to keep wearing my hair straight just because everyone else was.


so what prompted you to go the natural route?

I dont feel everyone should just jump into going natural if you dont feel the need to, its not for everyone , just as relaxing isnt for everyone.

Some naturals flatiron and heat style , some dont. its a matter of choice. What would make you happy? I know you can still rollerset as a natural. Have you tried that?
Originally Posted by shawnyblazes
I second this relaxing isn't for everybody. If it is any consolation I was very much like you in terms of low maintenance (over three years ago), but now I've grown in the whole process of doing my hair, though I spend no more then 5-10 mins (probably less) on it now on a daily basis.
IMHO your doing well with the transitioning period and the regrowth looks good from your fotki pics. If you wish to continue with this venture then maybe try focusing on the positives like your hair is thicker where the regrowth is and it may help you.
Good luck with your decision on what you wish to do.

i personally decided to stop relaxing for a few reasons...my last relaxer was from hell (i mean my scalp was tortured six ways from Sunday), maintaining my relaxer was getting to expensive, i lacked versatility with relaxed hair, and really i was just over it......it was not because i felt like the society was holding me down with a tub of relaxer or anything...i feel like hair is hair, it does not define you...i have thick, (relatively) healthy hair...relaxed hair...no breakage, no hair falling out...i'm not opposed to relaxers...i feel like just how a woman with naturally straight hair has options, so can we...so if you honestly feel like that's what will make you happy, do it...keep in mind though that you do have options...i myself have been either flat ironing or doing bantu knot outs in this transition...granted i've only been doing this for three months...but either way if you feel like you wanna stick this out look at various threads for hairspiration...when you go natural you can always flat iron it straight...i feel like sometimes when you come on a board like this or follow a blog that is soooooo pro curly/kinky...you might feel like you're letting ppl down if you feel like going back...but really it's not about how other ppl feel...do you...
Last Relaxer: 7.26.09
Natural Mindset: 10.10.09

Hair Type
Med. Tex., High Porosity, High Density, High Elasticity

Routine
Poo:
Coal Tar/ Nizoral (As Needed)
CoWash: VO5 Tea Therapy w/ Salt (2-3 X a week)
DC: ORS Replenishing Pak
Leave In: Diluted VO5
Seal: EVOO
I understand how you feel. Me going natural was because I wanted to show my natural hair and accept myself just as I am. I didnt want to keep wearing my hair straight just because everyone else was.


so what prompted you to go the natural route?

I dont feel everyone should just jump into going natural if you dont feel the need to, its not for everyone , just as relaxing isnt for everyone.

Some naturals flatiron and heat style , some dont. its a matter of choice. What would make you happy? I know you can still rollerset as a natural. Have you tried that?
Originally Posted by shawnyblazes

What prompted me to transition to natural hair.......

hhhhmmmm that's a good question. To tell you the honest truth I really don't have ligitimate reason. I know that I don't like the fact that I have to sit in the beauty salon for hours letting someone burn my scalp so my hair can be straight. Me and my best friend always got our hair relaxed together and every 2-3months she had to fight with me to make an appointment for the beautician! The last few times i've gotten a perm i've been so unhappy with the results. There was no breakage, and I like the length that i'm at but it always seemed to look so thin and lifeless. It was kinda just straight and stuck to my head (if that makes any sense), I like hair with personality, volume and body. My hair has none of those, the only time that I really enjoy my hair is about a month after my perm when it's thickened up a bit.

Plus my mom, both sisters and neice are all natural and happy. I'm the only outcast that gets regular treatments of the creamy crack. lol, I love the way their hair looks but I don't think that I would enjoy the way natural hair would look on me. It could also be a comfort thing, i'm starting to venture out of my comfort zone and i'm standing in front of a new and unknown journey. Maybe i'm afraid of being natural? LOL, sounds silly.
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
Mini Chop: January 16 2010
BC: April 4 2010
Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
I understand how you feel. Me going natural was because I wanted to show my natural hair and accept myself just as I am. I didnt want to keep wearing my hair straight just because everyone else was.


so what prompted you to go the natural route?

I dont feel everyone should just jump into going natural if you dont feel the need to, its not for everyone , just as relaxing isnt for everyone.

Some naturals flatiron and heat style , some dont. its a matter of choice. What would make you happy? I know you can still rollerset as a natural. Have you tried that?
Originally Posted by shawnyblazes
I second this relaxing isn't for everybody. If it is any consolation I was very much like you in terms of low maintenance (over three years ago), but now I've grown in the whole process of doing my hair, though I spend no more then 5-10 mins (probably less) on it now on a daily basis.
IMHO your doing well with the transitioning period and the regrowth looks good from your fotki pics. If you wish to continue with this venture then maybe try focusing on the positives like your hair is thicker where the regrowth is and it may help you.
Good luck with your decision on what you wish to do.
Originally Posted by FallOutCurl
Thank you for your positivity! I have been trying to focus on the positive outcomes to growing my hair. I think that maybe it's just the idea of not being able to just comb it out and go that has me feeling uneasy.

Your right about the thickness of the new growth, I LOVE the way it feels when I'm washing my hair and combing it in the shower, the thickness is insane! I just have to start figuring out hairstyles that would highlight the thickness of my hair instead of making it look like its unmanagable
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
Mini Chop: January 16 2010
BC: April 4 2010
Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
i personally decided to stop relaxing for a few reasons...my last relaxer was from hell (i mean my scalp was tortured six ways from Sunday), maintaining my relaxer was getting to expensive, i lacked versatility with relaxed hair, and really i was just over it......it was not because i felt like the society was holding me down with a tub of relaxer or anything...i feel like hair is hair, it does not define you...i have thick, (relatively) healthy hair...relaxed hair...no breakage, no hair falling out...i'm not opposed to relaxers...i feel like just how a woman with naturally straight hair has options, so can we...so if you honestly feel like that's what will make you happy, do it...keep in mind though that you do have options...i myself have been either flat ironing or doing bantu knot outs in this transition...granted i've only been doing this for three months...but either way if you feel like you wanna stick this out look at various threads for hairspiration...when you go natural you can always flat iron it straight...i feel like sometimes when you come on a board like this or follow a blog that is soooooo pro curly/kinky...you might feel like you're letting ppl down if you feel like going back...but really it's not about how other ppl feel...do you...
Originally Posted by elixandrea

Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. Becuz in the end i'm the only one that has to live with my hair and it doesn't make sense to do something that i'm unhappy with. i just have to figure out what'll make and keep me happy. I know that if I get a perm i'd feel like those 7months were for nothing, but if I continue to do as I am now (ponytails, buns) I still wont be happy with my hair.
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
Mini Chop: January 16 2010
BC: April 4 2010
Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
I am personally not anti-relaxer. I personally wouldn't get one, but I know some women with nice relaxed hair. But it's because they have good hair care practices before and after their touch-ups. As many people know here, there's a way to maintain a relaxer and a way not to maintain one.

Honestly, this whole hair thing is a personal choice. If natural hair makes a person not like how they look and feel bad about their appearance.. then it defeats the purpose of "going natural". At least in my personal opinion.

It's something every individual has to decide on their own. And if they feel a relaxer is better for them..then I think they are entitled to that choice.

But I will say, during transitioning from relaxed to natural..that's the most difficult time for people that are used to bone straight hair and dependence on their hair being relaxed. Having those two textures on one head fighting against eachother can be rough not only on the head but just emotionally for the person as well.

It can make a person feel not like themselves, less attractive, and sad about the whole process. Especially, for people that have relaxed most of their lives.

I took a look at your fotki and I saw the growth of your natural hair. I actually think your hair is coming along nicely in these seven months. A lot of times for some reason having the relaxed ends makes the hair seem to look a lot worse unless the person does do twists, braids, bantu knots, roller sets, etc. to sort of "hide" the relaxed ends.

Once the relaxed ends are cut off it can be so shocking how drastically different one's hair can look. Because they don't have those relaxed ends pulling on the curls so much after they are gone..the hair is free to curl up nicely. I've seen some people in transition with hair that looks like a dry brittle bird's nest and once they cut off the relaxed ends and do a little styling.. their hair is stunning! Shiny, healthy, and very soft looking. You wouldn't even believe it's the same hair!

You may not be ready to cut your hair right now, but that something you might want to think about doing a little earlier than you planned. It may help to just end all the issues with one felt swoop!

I know a lot of women in transition are worried about a shorter hair length but you have to weigh if it's worth the headache to hold on to relaxed ends you are going to cut off anyway just to feel like you have length now or will it be easier to just cut off the relaxed ends eariler so you won't even have to worry about it. Then start maintaining and growing out your healthy natural hair by itself without the headache of two competing textures on one head.

And once the relaxed ends are cut off.. curly hair can be very easy to maintain. Basically, you can do wash and gos on it during your shower..apply a few styling products and out the door you go. I mean it can't get to much quicker than that!

Anyway, sorry to hear about your struggle. Whatever you decide about your hair whether it's go back to relaxer or ride this natural thing out.. I hope it makes YOU happy with how you look!

Best wishes!
im sorry youre feeling this way!

im a low maintenence kind of girl too, and thats exactly what lead me to cut off all my hair (no transitioning) and never go back to relaxers. as far as styling is concerned, i never do twists or braids or anything like that. i enjoy my wash n gos. or i'll toss a headband on and make a puff. i can put my hair up in a ponytail or a bun and call it a day. going natural doesnt always mean that you cant comb your hair or that you have to spend hours styling it. but theres only one way to find out...

im pretty much going through the exact same feelings with my hair, only my addiction is color. i feel so much prettier with color + highlights. but i hate being a slave to my roots! i decided to stop coloring my hair and i feel plain and ugly. my plan is to grow out my hair until all the color is gone. if i finally have a head full of my natual off black hair color and i still hate it, im going right back to color. but im hoping that by the time i grow my hair out, i wont feel the need to color any more. if you only feel pretty with straight hair and only want to feel pretty with straight hair, then definitely dont go natural. but how will you ever know if you dont try?
Have you ever thought about getting a wig? A lot of ladies use wigs/half wigs as a protective style especially during the cold weather. All you'd have to do would be to braid or twist up your hair, put on a wig cap, put on the wig and go. I feel that would help provide more variety for you plus make your morning routine simple. It would also help keep you from being tempted to relax your hair again.

Don't give up on what you're working to achieve. I know that it can get really hard especially during this time of uncertainty. It will get better for you. I hope I was helpful and good luck to you!!
Originally Posted by Booker Ts Mama
I second the wig suggestion. You could also get a weave or braid extensions. I did those when I transitioned. You won't have to deal with the two different textures much and they'd protect your hair from breakage.
Originally Posted by LadyV69

I've never thought of a wig,i'm not sure if that idea fully appeals to me but it is a simple and logical alternative. Do you know of any website/stores that carry good quality wigs?

As of right now i'm leaning more towards getting twists or box braids. I'm actually going to call up my local hair braiding salon to ask about pricing today.

Thanks so much for your suggestions!
Originally Posted by Nicky791
I would recommend going to your local beauty supply store and try on a couple of wigs. Now, if you don't own your own wig cap, most of them will make you purchase one so you can try them on. I've never worn/purchased a wig, but if I decided to, I would go that route. At least that way, you can try them on before you decide to buy.

i personally decided to stop relaxing for a few reasons...my last relaxer was from hell (i mean my scalp was tortured six ways from Sunday), maintaining my relaxer was getting to expensive, i lacked versatility with relaxed hair, and really i was just over it......it was not because i felt like the society was holding me down with a tub of relaxer or anything...i feel like hair is hair, it does not define you...i have thick, (relatively) healthy hair...relaxed hair...no breakage, no hair falling out...i'm not opposed to relaxers...i feel like just how a woman with naturally straight hair has options, so can we...so if you honestly feel like that's what will make you happy, do it...keep in mind though that you do have options...i myself have been either flat ironing or doing bantu knot outs in this transition...granted i've only been doing this for three months...but either way if you feel like you wanna stick this out look at various threads for hairspiration...when you go natural you can always flat iron it straight...i feel like sometimes when you come on a board like this or follow a blog that is soooooo pro curly/kinky...you might feel like you're letting ppl down if you feel like going back...but really it's not about how other ppl feel...do you...
Originally Posted by elixandrea

Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. Becuz in the end i'm the only one that has to live with my hair and it doesn't make sense to do something that i'm unhappy with. i just have to figure out what'll make and keep me happy. I know that if I get a perm i'd feel like those 7months were for nothing, but if I continue to do as I am now (ponytails, buns) I still wont be happy with my hair.
Originally Posted by Nicky791
my advice is not to look at it as 7 months wasted...you know...it's seven months that has led you to find out what makes you happy...if you hadn't done it, you would still be on the other side asking "what if?" like you said, it's really up to you to try and find out what makes you happy...in the meantime try to find a style beyond ponies/buns while you make the decision...you mentioned that you were going to research some prices...good luck!
Last Relaxer: 7.26.09
Natural Mindset: 10.10.09

Hair Type
Med. Tex., High Porosity, High Density, High Elasticity

Routine
Poo:
Coal Tar/ Nizoral (As Needed)
CoWash: VO5 Tea Therapy w/ Salt (2-3 X a week)
DC: ORS Replenishing Pak
Leave In: Diluted VO5
Seal: EVOO
It's all good girl....been there, done that- got the hair to prove it! I was natural 4 years ago- hair touching my shoulders. I had cut it off back then. I just decided this year not to perm it since it had been well over a year since I had gotten a relaxer. Now, I pressed it last night and flat ironed it for style and somedays I feel the same way. But you must remember that nobody controls you but you. If you feel ugly because of haters, let them hate. If you need assurance, just know that with time you will be even more beautiful than you already are. And your hair....huh- it's gonna be healthier and you'll be happier! Don't relax....you'll make it!
Stay natural and be blessed
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I recently went through something like this, am still going through it. I felt like twists and braids no longer looked good on me. It's partly becuase I am in a protective styling challenge so I have been in braids and twists for forever now.

Right now, I am not even liking how my loose hair which forms an afro looks on me. It's at an awkward length.

With my texture and length, wash and gos are no nos for me.

My recent braid outs and twist out look horrible.

The only thing I have been able to do recently and think it looks decent, was pull my hair back in a faux hawk. That and two french braids on either side of my head.

Luckily yesterday I tried a new style, cornrows in the front, and small box braids in the back and I love it. And it still conforms to the rules for the protective challenge I am. And in between I saw my afro and I really liked it this time.

Hang in there, the "I don't feel pretty" stage will pass. Just get some cute hair acessories and earrings. And dress up. I went out and bought some new clothes to get my mind off my hair. And it worked, the sweet clothes made my hair look better to me. Or try a new style or try it in a different size. I hate big to medium braids on me right now, for example, but small braids look awesome.


My Fotki
Thanks so much for your input! I know transitioning is probably one of the hardest times when becoming natural so I'm trying to stay strong and ride it out. I would love to see how my hair looks naturally and i'm pretty sure I would regret relaxing my hair before I had a chance to see and understand my natural texture.

I am personally not anti-relaxer. I personally wouldn't get one, but I know some women with nice relaxed hair. But it's because they have good hair care practices before and after their touch-ups. As many people know here, there's a way to maintain a relaxer and a way not to maintain one.

Honestly, this whole hair thing is a personal choice. If natural hair makes a person not like how they look and feel bad about their appearance.. then it defeats the purpose of "going natural". At least in my personal opinion.

It's something every individual has to decide on their own. And if they feel a relaxer is better for them..then I think they are entitled to that choice.

But I will say, during transitioning from relaxed to natural..that's the most difficult time for people that are used to bone straight hair and dependence on their hair being relaxed. Having those two textures on one head fighting against eachother can be rough not only on the head but just emotionally for the person as well.

It can make a person feel not like themselves, less attractive, and sad about the whole process. Especially, for people that have relaxed most of their lives.

I took a look at your fotki and I saw the growth of your natural hair. I actually think your hair is coming along nicely in these seven months. A lot of times for some reason having the relaxed ends makes the hair seem to look a lot worse unless the person does do twists, braids, bantu knots, roller sets, etc. to sort of "hide" the relaxed ends.

Once the relaxed ends are cut off it can be so shocking how drastically different one's hair can look. Because they don't have those relaxed ends pulling on the curls so much after they are gone..the hair is free to curl up nicely. I've seen some people in transition with hair that looks like a dry brittle bird's nest and once they cut off the relaxed ends and do a little styling.. their hair is stunning! Shiny, healthy, and very soft looking. You wouldn't even believe it's the same hair!

You may not be ready to cut your hair right now, but that something you might want to think about doing a little earlier than you planned. It may help to just end all the issues with one felt swoop!

I know a lot of women in transition are worried about a shorter hair length but you have to weigh if it's worth the headache to hold on to relaxed ends you are going to cut off anyway just to feel like you have length now or will it be easier to just cut off the relaxed ends eariler so you won't even have to worry about it. Then start maintaining and growing out your healthy natural hair by itself without the headache of two competing textures on one head.

And once the relaxed ends are cut off.. curly hair can be very easy to maintain. Basically, you can do wash and gos on it during your shower..apply a few styling products and out the door you go. I mean it can't get to much quicker than that!

Anyway, sorry to hear about your struggle. Whatever you decide about your hair whether it's go back to relaxer or ride this natural thing out.. I hope it makes YOU happy with how you look!

Best wishes!
Originally Posted by Marah Mizrahi
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
Mini Chop: January 16 2010
BC: April 4 2010
Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
Thanks for the inspiration!

At the bolded below: I understand that not all naturals take a massive amount of time to style there hair and i'm pretty sure that many of them are able to just wake up and go in the morning. I know it's a little pre-mature for me to say this but I don't think that a wash-n-go would be a reasonable option for me once natural. I could be wrong though.

Your right, the only way to find out if being natural truly isn't for me is to actually become fully natural and evaluate how I feel. Just like you are doing with your hair color, that's the most reasonable way to go about making a decision like this. Thanks for bringing that up!

im sorry youre feeling this way!

im a low maintenence kind of girl too, and thats exactly what lead me to cut off all my hair (no transitioning) and never go back to relaxers. as far as styling is concerned, i never do twists or braids or anything like that. i enjoy my wash n gos. or i'll toss a headband on and make a puff. i can put my hair up in a ponytail or a bun and call it a day. going natural doesnt always mean that you cant comb your hair or that you have to spend hours styling it. but theres only one way to find out...

im pretty much going through the exact same feelings with my hair, only my addiction is color. i feel so much prettier with color + highlights. but i hate being a slave to my roots! i decided to stop coloring my hair and i feel plain and ugly. my plan is to grow out my hair until all the color is gone. if i finally have a head full of my natual off black hair color and i still hate it, im going right back to color. but im hoping that by the time i grow my hair out, i wont feel the need to color any more. if you only feel pretty with straight hair and only want to feel pretty with straight hair, then definitely dont go natural. but how will you ever know if you dont try?
Originally Posted by subbrock
Last Relaxer: March 26 2009
Mini Chop: January 16 2010
BC: April 4 2010
Transitioned for 1yr 9days!
Fotki: http://members.fotki.com/Nicky791/about/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nicky791
I'm growing my hair out at the moment as well and I got a bad hair cut from an inept stylist when I cut of my straightened hair. Sometimes my hair has not looked especially attractive over the last 6 months but I really enjoy my natural hair texture. Just today I was looking at myself in the mirror and thinking how much better I look with my natural hair texture. My face is on the round side of oval so flat hair just does not suit me. Curly big hair is definitely for me. Plus I love the political statement I make when I wear my natural texture: there is more than one way to define beauty!

I hope this little snippet has given you a boost. If not hang in there, we all have those days when we are feeling less than attractive. After those, we also have the days when we can't believe just how hot we are!

*I apologize in advance if anyone takes offense to this post*

Today marks my 7th month of transitioning to natural hair.

I'm at a total lost at what to do with my hair, right now it's either ponytails or buns during this transition. To tell you the truth, I hate both. I like the way my hair looks and feels when it's out, down and loose around my face. I've had a perm for about 12years, so that's literally half my life. So i'm used to waking up in the morning and taking 2mins to comb my hair out of a wrap and then going about my day. The fact that I can't do that anymore makes me feel self conscience about my appearance around other people.

I know that there are transitional styles, such as twists/twistouts, braids, flat twists, bantu knots etc. but at this point none of those things look very nice on me.

I just really feel the need to get a relaxer so I can feel pretty again. Cuz frankly, i don't know what I will be doing with my hair if I grow it out completely natural. It's not like I can wake up, comb it out and go in the morning. My mom has been telling me to just get some Sengelese twists or braids so I can get my mind off my hair for a while.

I'm just evaluating my entire reasoning for transitioning in the first place... It's not like my hair was damaged, or I had a bad perm experience I just thought that this would be the healthiest way to grow my hair, chemical free! But I wonder if it's really worth it? I'm about as low maintaintence as you can get for a girl, no makeup, perfume, jewerly, stillettos....none of that. I wake up, take a shower, put on lotion and clothes and go....so I can't see myself sitting down for countless hours at a time twisting, braiding, etc. my hair when all I had to do before was wash, and rollerset it then i'm done.

I'm sorry for the long rant...but I really needed to vent. If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to respond to this post.

Thank you!
Originally Posted by Nicky791
*I apologize in advance if anyone takes offense to this post*

Today marks my 7th month of transitioning to natural hair.

I'm at a total lost at what to do with my hair, right now it's either ponytails or buns during this transition. To tell you the truth, I hate both. I like the way my hair looks and feels when it's out, down and loose around my face. I've had a perm for about 12years, so that's literally half my life. So i'm used to waking up in the morning and taking 2mins to comb my hair out of a wrap and then going about my day. The fact that I can't do that anymore makes me feel self conscience about my appearance around other people.

I know that there are transitional styles, such as twists/twistouts, braids, flat twists, bantu knots etc. but at this point none of those things look very nice on me.

I just really feel the need to get a relaxer so I can feel pretty again. Cuz frankly, i don't know what I will be doing with my hair if I grow it out completely natural. It's not like I can wake up, comb it out and go in the morning. My mom has been telling me to just get some Sengelese twists or braids so I can get my mind off my hair for a while.

I'm just evaluating my entire reasoning for transitioning in the first place... It's not like my hair was damaged, or I had a bad perm experience I just thought that this would be the healthiest way to grow my hair, chemical free! But I wonder if it's really worth it? I'm about as low maintaintence as you can get for a girl, no makeup, perfume, jewerly, stillettos....none of that. I wake up, take a shower, put on lotion and clothes and go....so I can't see myself sitting down for countless hours at a time twisting, braiding, etc. my hair when all I had to do before was wash, and rollerset it then i'm done.

I'm sorry for the long rant...but I really needed to vent. If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to respond to this post.

Thank you!
Originally Posted by Nicky791
since your mom, both sisters and nieces are natural, you probably have heard it all from them. they are way closer to you than any of us here. most likely you aren't looking for encouragement so much as validation to go ahead with getting another perm. if that's what will make you happy and/or feel better about yourself -- do it

the red text is so sad to me... straight hair doesn't change the very core of you. if you don't accept yourself, how do you expect others to?
LOIS (OS); cottony, TYPE 4 hair, fine/med strands; no cones bcz my hair hates them; last relaxer '98; now low porosity, ignores most natural hair rules; BC #8

faves: suave, v05 shampoo, conditioner (my own), raw shea butter, castor oil, peanut oil, aloe juice

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