I get what your saying and I can tell you my own personal experience. About three years ago I thermal straightened my hair and it left it in such bad shape. It wasn't until last year that my hair began to grow out but I noticed my curls just didn't look the same, they were looser! and I was so disappointed. I missed my old hair and I think that this experience helped me realize that I am who I am and I should be happy as I am. But growing up no one in the media looked like me and when I wanted to buy make up nothing matched my skin tone. I began to associate these images to what is beautiful and said to myself well I don't look like that I must not be beautiful. Which is why I totally get her question on white being pushed as what is beautiful. In one of the readings I did for class this Afro-Brazilian woman (Brazil is really racist by the way) was reflecting on when she finally came to terms with her racial identity, she said- "I realized that no matter how many times I straightened my hair I will not stop being Black" WOW. That hit home for me. I am brown, latina, mestiza, mulatta, indigenous, and my hair shows a hybridity. Straightening my hair does not change this it only attempts to draw attention away from this. Well guess what? I'm not doing that anymore!