Sometimes, when I read this thread, I like to pretend everyone is talking to me.
I have no idea why.
-It drives me nuts when you are late. Even 10 minutes late. I have dinner on the stove, buddy! Noodles get weird after 10 minutes.
-There's no way everything that you claim has happened to you actually has happened to you. There's no way that it's all happened to a friend of yours, someone in your family, or a friend of a friend. It is too convenient and you are the Lyingest Liar who ever Lied. And you make me laugh.
-I deserve more money. And one of these days, when I actually drop a set, I'm going to ask you for more money. It's nice to hear you tell me I have job security, that you love me to pieces, and that I'm your "Zee Zee" (even though I have NO idea who you got Zee Zee out of my name), but you know what? I can't eat that. I can't pay rent with that. And I sure as hell can't go shopping with that.