maybe I just need to vent. I have very thick mid length 3c curls and I am mexican-american. my family comes from a part of mexico where there was slave trading in the 1700's and everybody just sort of mixed up with everybody else. I just hate that people assume i am a whole slew of other things. it's not bad, people have given me wonderful compliments and sometimes i love that I am never categorized. i do get compliments on an almost weekly basis even. i suppose that i am just complaining/griping/thinking too much about my hair. because of my curly hair i don"t look the way that i am "supposed to" look being mexican. i am very proud of my culture and active in the community, but often get odd looks because i am relaxer free for 3 yrs. and wear my hair the way that it grows out of my head.
thanks for listening.
Originally Posted by lachicacurly
I understand completely! Our culture can sometimes be very judgmental, especially about looks, and almost cruel sometimes (think of the nicknames our nanas give us - I was "Cachetona" and my brother was "Gordito", never our right names).

I'm on another side of the spectrum - while I have dark hair and eyes, I'm a light-skinned olive. People actually ask me "What are you?", especially given my married last name. This question comes from people of all color, but in my experience, fellow Chicanos are the most judgmental, like they don't believe my grandparents all came from Mexico. I, too, love and am proud of my heritage, and it's confusing and hurtful to be excluded or overlooked because I don't look like one would expect.

I guess this rant is mostly because my kids bear this as well. My son has my dark hair color with hazel eyes, and my daughter has light brown hair, light olive skin, and green eyes. With their father's German last name, no one ever thinks they are Hispanic, but they associate themselves with my family's culture. And they speak better Spanish than I do.

Can't we all just get along?!
Originally Posted by annielutz
I think there are many ethnicities that can relate with what you're going through.

I am half Filipino but don't look it at all; I don't even look Asian! Though I have not had any Asian tell me that I 'don't belong', I've gotten the 'you're not Asian' statement from people who aren't Asian.

Even though my non-Asian friends were joking with their statement, I think I kind of subconsciously took it to heart. I'm not quick to approach the Asian clique to make friends when I'm in a new place on my own. Perhaps I'm just used to befriending whoever I want.

My brother on the other hand looks more Asian than I do, and has plenty of Filipino friends. Could it be because he does have that Asian look?

Who knows...
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