Thanks for all the suggestions.
We did start co washing this past weekend and it seems to be making a difference already. I'll have to experiment with how often she needs to wash her hair. I might back off how often she bathes now that we have finally found a deoderant that works for her. Before we didn't have a choice and she loves to play in the water so her hair always ends up wet.
I was finally able to convince her to let me use the diffuser on low setting but I have to hold the cold blast button in almost constantly. She also doesn't like it by her ears so I might try getting her some ear plugs.