Transitioning?...Help?

Hello(:

So this is my first time doing something like this. I'm 13 years old [goin on 14]; Mixed: 3/4 Black, 1/4 White, and of American Indian descent[my moms half black half white, my dad is full black]. i have 3c hair but..ehh its like combination soo yeah. i wanted to do the full blown big chop but, of course, my mom thought i was crazy. she agreed that i can cut my hair but she still wants me to get relaxers =/. so i said forget it then. can i still transition without cutting my hair? and just using natural produts? i really want to start fresh but my moms a stubborn one :P . my hairs about shoulder length and its not goin anywhere but she still thinks that maybe it'll get longer...my hope is that if i do the big chop my hair will grow back a different texture. see, when i was a baby, my hair was SOOO different, it was a really cute, SOFT afro. but it all went away when my mom permed my hair, at the age of 3 =/. it totally ruined everything, i just want my hair to be the way it should have been.

and tips /suggestions?

[oh yeah and my mom said that if i do this she still better be able to put a comb through my hair, if not *gasp* ill have to get a relaxer; its been about 3-5 months since ive gotten one and ive done pretty good, but are there any products you guys know of that will define curls but keep my hair soft and brushable?]

thanks for reading, sorry its so long :P [ &&i think ill put pictures of my hair up if i can find out how]
hey,
sure u can transition w/o cutting ur hair! i was in the same predicament about a year ago - i got my hair relaxed a lot, and it didn't rly seem to be growing. even tho relaxing makes ur hair "manageable", it really is damaging but anyways, I just let my hair grow out and i used natural products. i recommend that you use all-natural hair products because the chemicals in un-natural hair products can really be damaging to both your relaxed and natural hair. natural products will also make ur hair really soft and manageable! don't forget to put your hair in styles that will complement both the relaxed hair and your natural hair while ur transitioning. in other words, don't treat your natural hair the way you would treat your relaxed hair. that will damage it. it's really not meant to lie flat on the head. some rly good examples of transitioning styles are braids and twists. also, convince your mom to let you do your own thing with ur hair. ultimately, the hair growing out of your head is yours, not hers! i get that she wants it to be manageable, and my mom was the very same way, but just let her understand that natural hair is just as manageable as relaxed hair. you just gotta know what to do with it. i hope tht helped
I'm wondering one thing though if I assume correctly your avatar shows that you have color in your hair. If that is true, then you also need to ensure that you give your hair adequate moisture. That could also be the source of your damage. Remind your mother that all hair is manageable hair, and that it's a state of mind. My only advice regularly deep condition your hair at least once a week. As far as products a lot of curlies have their products in their signature. Also go to peoples fotki's (the link to those are often in the signature as well). Their fotkis or albums will provide lots of inspiration and styles. There are also lots of hair tutorials on youtube as well. Check the blogs of members of this site. I like textureplayground.com (Fluertzy's blog), very informative, and lots of tips. It helps to take pictures too, since you can't see whats going on up there. It's definitely going to take some time. Hair grows between a 1/4-1/2 inch each month depending on the person and the health of hair.
The 3 main ingredients to healthy beautiful hair are:
1. patience
2. deep conditioning and moisture
3. gentle handling of the hair.

If you have any more questions feel free to pm me.
[LEFT]confused curls
addicted to henna

Fotki
im 19 years old, half white and mostly the other half is black, and have completely natural shoulder length hair. i went natural when i was 16 and have never regretted it! FYI my hair has never had a problem growing and cutting my hair super short didn't change that. NOW let me start from june 1st 2007 i was sitting at home with my grandma and 2 sisters when i decided enough was enough grabbed a pair of scissors, handed them to my sister (who was 13 at the time) and told her to cut where she felt the soft hair end. (i had been relaxer free for 4 months by then and had my hair in about 20 braids) so she did! when she was done i had a pile of straw like braids around me and about 2 inches of soft curly hair on my head. my mom came home from the store and DIDN'T NOTICE! my hair is 3c all over except for the crown witch is more like 4a. this made it difficult for me to do anything with it for the first year and a half except wear head bands to keep it out of my face. (i cannot stress enough how much people love my afro, you get complements from total strangers and it's a great conversation starter!) so after a couple of years i cut my hair again to get rid of the last of the damaged hair (the first inch or so of growth after the straightened hair is cut) i did it myself and took off about 4 inches (kind of regret taking that much now as it takes longer to gain length with super curly hair) i don't think ive really cut my hair in a year, and i think i'm going to go to a salon next time because after it gets to a certain length it looks like a mushroom if not cut properly. (i just wear it in a pony now) anyway, for your particular situation... i suggest you stop getting relaxers for awhile and get a good amount of natural hair under the perm (so you won't be completely bald!) and while youre waiting for your hair to grow, talk with your mom and tell her that natural hair is different that permed hair but doesn't need to look messy (which is what i'm guessing shes worried about) also YOU CANNOT GET A COMB THROUGH DRY NATURAL HAIR!!! it damages it! to comb through my hair i MUST be in the shower with lots of conditioner (paul mitchels detangling conditioner) and running water. (its easy at first because the hair is so short, then its hard because its long, but once you can sleep in a bun it tangles SO MUCH LESS) my hair is so soft now and doesn't break off at the middle or ends. It does tangle easily but it is so much healthier and happier! and i'm glad i dont have to go get my hair tugged and pulled and burned at a beauty parlor any more! i think if you keep giving your mom rational mature reasons for wanting to go natural she will come around (and if she absolutely will not just wait until you're an adult!) i hope this answers most of your questions! and if you have any more, ask!

PS the only REAL downside to having big natural hair is, there are no hats that fit!

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